by SweetPrettyAss
That was one hot story! I sure would have liked to have been a fly on the wall. Or, rather the guy she will finally meet, and marry. WOW!!!!!
Other commenters complained about your use of 'fun hole.' But what else is it? For a farm girl with no carnal knowledge, 'fun hole' is as likely as any other term.
I thought it was a great story.
very sweet. New member here and I am enjoying very much. I like the the push and pull of the innocence of your character. She is both sweet and dirty at the same time
I loved the story; it made me think of my earliest experiments with masturbation and they were pretty innocent, too. I thought funhole a word that an innocent country girl might come up with for her pussy.
I think that some instruction in the form of a nasty older man (maybe Daddy?) would be extremely hot to add to future stories.
Great work!
It got me hard; can't ask for more than that. I too pinch (for lack of a better word) my wife's clit. It's assuring to find out some girls fantasize about it. Only bad part was "fun hole".
I thought this was really hot. I liked her innocence. I also thought the term "fun hole" was a turn-on. I would love to fuck her fun hole.
I also thought that it was great that she made it a point to get completely naked, as that is something I do as well.
Good story. Believable and very arousing. Why do I get the feeling Naomi's gonna be in another story and get caught in the barn? Well, at least I can hope.
Is as arousing as watching her in the flesh. I liked how you included the sensuousness of the coarse hay and soft cotton of the quilt. However, "fun hole" was a bit abrasive, but it didn't matter because I'm such a tactile freak so this was an extremely hot read. Good job, keep writing!
This should not have appeared in italics. I didn't write it that way and I didn't mean to post it that way.
As he is a critic.
I really don't recall his work though
I really enjoyed this! Well told, and super erotic!
Great job!
You definitely have a raw talent for erotica, but I think you need to bang out a few more stories to really sharpen your craft. No doubt, you are a very arousing, titilating writer.
My two biggest complaints: Don't make the entire text italicized; I suspect you actually didn't mean that. Second, the term "fun hole" was just too distracting for me.