by SOUKO_KIN
You have begun a promising story, but your syntax is fractured. A bit of help from an editor will erase the symptoms, but the problem will remain. The problem will gradually disappear only if you practice writing. Read a few of the top rated stories on this site for examples of writing that flows smoothly -- then submit chapters two through ten of your story. Good Luck. Vanesca
I don't care about syntax. You're on to a nice story. Next chapter, please!
S_K,
Write on please.
Thanks for sharing on Lit.
x
With the grammatical errors it makes for slower reading. It just doesn't flow.
SORRY BUT SAKURA HERE IA TWO MONTHS OLD AND NOT TWO YEARS. SORRY FOR THE INCONVINIENCE
EVery paragraph is littered with grammatical errors such as improper connotation AND denotation, issues with syntax, missing words, or misspelled words to the point where the story is unreadable. The plot seems interesting but I am too distracted picking the story apart