All Comments on 'Fate and Destiny Ch. 01'

by SOUKO_KIN

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7 Comments

Anonymousabout 13 years ago

Syntax

You have begun a promising story, but your syntax is fractured. A bit of help from an editor will erase the symptoms, but the problem will remain. The problem will gradually disappear only if you practice writing. Read a few of the top rated stories on this site for examples of writing that flows smoothly -- then submit chapters two through ten of your story. Good Luck. Vanesca

Anonymousabout 13 years ago

nice

I don't care about syntax. You're on to a nice story. Next chapter, please!

Anonymousabout 13 years ago

Good

But the many grammatical errors are very distracting!

xtremedd about 13 years ago

You built a base for potential directions, lead on and we'll enjoy it.

S_K,

Write on please.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

Anonymousalmost 13 years ago

Good beginning

With the grammatical errors it makes for slower reading. It just doesn't flow.

SOUKO_KIN almost 13 years agoAuthor

SORRY

SORRY BUT SAKURA HERE IA TWO MONTHS OLD AND NOT TWO YEARS. SORRY FOR THE INCONVINIENCE

Anonymousalmost 13 years ago

you need an editor

EVery paragraph is littered with grammatical errors such as improper connotation AND denotation, issues with syntax, missing words, or misspelled words to the point where the story is unreadable. The plot seems interesting but I am too distracted picking the story apart

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