All Comments on 'Fates Mate Ch. 01'

quick question is Lily a vampire too or is she a human. BTW great first start. Hope to see more soon.

Hi,

I hope you have the second part upload soon :D

i am working hard to give you some more of the story.

will post soon!

secretside

Like the story alot...why didn't she question hearing a conversation and why did she get so snotty with him? I also didn't get how she could bump into someone and not seem to realize it was the guy from her dream yet and then see him again and make out with him....maybe slow down certain parts and develop them more slowly. While this is erotic literature it's normal to have to develop characters a bit sometimes before they start making out :) I like that you have a vamp thrown in there too. It might be good to have someone read it over before you submit to catch the little errors...just always is nice to have it cleaned up so little errors don't take away from it. I really like the story and can't wait for more.

Can't wait to see what happens next

Lily doesn't seem to act normally. Also the constant misspellings and grammar mistakes are rather annoying, even making the story more difficult to read at the rate they occur. Not continuing to read.

Awful writing. 13 year ago and still hasn't fixed grammar, spelling, or punctuation.