Fay Flowers

Right now I'm at work, trying to concentrate, but Scott keeps looking at me. We're totally into each other. He's kind of cute, brown hair, green eyes, skinny. He makes me laugh and he made me feel right at home, like I'd been working at McDonald's for a long time. And he calls me Fiorenza. He says he loves that name. But sometimes he has a temper. He yelled at me a few times, but I know he didn't mean it.

"It's almost time for your shift to end," he says. "I'll be at your place later tonight." He walks up behind me and brushes my butt with his hand. He does stuff like that, but he makes sure no one notices. I like it when he does that. Now he wants to come to my motel room. I've been too embarrassed to show it to him, but he's insisting on coming over.

***

I'm wearing a new red dress that I bought after I left work, even though I should have saved the money to pay Dolores. I'm just so sick of my lame jeans, and I really want to look nice for Scott.

That's probably him knocking at the door now. I see him almost every day, so I don't know why I'm so nervous.

"Who is it?" I ask.

"It's Scott."

I open the door. He's carrying a bunch of stuff: a shopping bag, carnations, a bottle of wine.

"Let me just put this stuff down," he says.

He puts everything on the table. "Man, look at you," he says. "You're beautiful." He grabs me and gives me a big kiss. I love being with Scott and I hardly ever think about Randi.

"So this is it, huh?" he asks.

"Yeah, it's not much."

"Well, I brought dinner, and it's not McDonald's."

We both laugh and I help him set everything up. Inside the bag is a table cloth, which we pull out and spread on the table. He's also got ribs, fries and salads that he bought from the rib joint down the street. I hear they've got good food, but I don't ever eat there because I can't afford it. It's going to feel so good to have a real meal for a change. He brought two wine glasses and a corkscrew. He opens the bottle of wine and pours us each a glass. Next to my bed is a plastic cup that I use for water. It's the only thing I have for the carnations. I put them on the middle of the table.

After we eat dinner Scott walks over to the bed and sits down. "Come over here," he says.

I walk over to him and sit on his lap. He puts his arms around me and kisses me. Then he pulls my dress off my body. I'm wearing a red panty and bra set that I bought back in Kansas.

"Very nice," he says.

He unzips his pants and pulls his cock out. For a skinny guy, it's really big, especially with a hard-on. I know what to do.

I get on my knees, between his legs, and put his cock into my mouth. I suck it all the way to the back of my throat. Then I move my head up and down really fast. I'm kind of good at this and I like to look up at Scott's face and watch him get into it. He doesn't say anything, but I can tell when he's close to coming. He gets lost in his own world and his face changes. His hands are on the back of my head now and he grabs my hair and comes in my mouth. I swallow every drop of him.

"That's good, baby. Now look at me."

I look at him.

"I want you to move in with me. This place is a dump. I want you out of here. I'll take care of you."

I don't know what to say at first. He's looking at me all serious and I know not to question him when he looks like that.

"Okay," I say. It's not like I want to stay here anyway.

He leans down and kisses me. But then he pulls away from me and looks at me again.

"Fiorenza, you're mine now. If you ever leave me, I'll kill you. Do you understand?"

I nod my head. I'm sure he's not serious about killing me if I leave him.

He pulls his pants up and zips them. "Now, pack your things," he says. "We're getting out of here."

***

I was taking some guy's order at McDonald's and Scott accused me of flirting with him. He's done this before, and I've always been able to calm him down. But when we got home he totally spazzed and hit me in the eye. Now it's black. He told me I can't go back to work anymore.

I'm sitting here in his apartment, all by myself. I'm not allowed to go outside unless he's with me, so I just watch television and try not to make a mess. Everything has to be in a certain order for Scott. Like if I pick up an ashtray, I have to put it back in the same place.

I just want to go get a candy bar or something. Scott will never know. He gets so busy managing that he never leaves the building until his shift is over.

***

It feels good to be out. I'm in a store a couple of blocks from Scott's apartment.

Man, it's been months since I've seen Randi, but I think she's standing right over there! I walk up behind her and tap her on the shoulder. She turns around. "Hi Randi," I say.

"Hey!" she says, smiling like the Cheshire cat. She gives me a tight hug followed by a kiss on my cheek. "What happened to your eye?" she asks.

"Nothin'."

"What do you mean nothin'? Someone beat the shit out of you."

"I'm okay."

"Who is this asshole?"

"Nobody you'd know." I'm looking into her eyes. I've never seen eyes as big as Randi's. Shit, I hope I don't start to cry.

"I miss you," I say.

"And I miss you. Why did you run off like that?"

"I was pissed off. But I'm okay now. I'm living with Scott and things are cool."

"Oh, so Scott's this asshole's name? How often does he hit you?"

"Randi, I don't want to talk about it."

"All right, but I want you to know that Lawrence isn't mad. He said if you change your mind, he'd love to work with you."

For a moment, the invitation looks good.

"No," I say, "I'm happy the way things are."

***

I'm sitting on the floor in the bathroom, trying to pull myself together. Scott got mad at me for burning dinner again. He pushed me down and started kicking me and screaming at me. Now he's gone to go get food for us.

"Come on out, baby. I'm sorry." He's back, standing in the doorway of the bathroom, looking at me. "When I get home from work I'm tired and hungry, and I just want to sit down and eat. I got us some chicken. Come out of there."

I'm forcing myself to smile. I know Scott loves me, but he's a fucking psycho. My aunt Patty told me once that when a man starts to beat you, you better get out quick before you wind up dead. Sometimes I miss my folks back in Kansas, but I try not to think about Momma. It just hurts too much.

***

I called Randi soon after Scott left for work today. She says she's coming to get me. I'm sitting here with my bag. Scott said he'd kill me if I ever leave him, and now I believe he would. I'm in deep shit. But Randi told me not to worry about it and that she'll protect me. I know she will, 'cause she doesn't fuck around about stuff.

There's a cab outside. That must be her.

The driver takes my bag and Randi gives me a kiss on the lips. My heart is beating like crazy. I climb into the cab and duck down so nobody can see me.

"It's okay, Ren. You're safe now," Randi says.

I hold her hand. But I stay down until we get to Doug's.

***

Back at Doug's it feels like I never left. I had a good sleep last night. Randi kept her arms around me the whole time. I really felt safe. She's taking me to Lawrence's tonight. He's having a party and she says some famous people will be there. I guess I'm pretty psyched about it.

***

There's lots of people at Lawrence's. I'm wearing black high heels that Randi bought me and my red dress. Some stuff has happened to me tonight that I'm trying to deal with. I found this small, empty room. The door is closed and I'm sitting down.

Anyway, the first thing that happened to me was that I met Sylvester Stallone! I couldn't believe it. I was just standing there, drinking some wine and he came right up to me and said, "Hi, Fiorenza." He looks even better in person, really buff, and he's got nice hair. He told me he thought I was beautiful and that he wanted to introduce me to some guy named Bob Guccione. Then Sly (he told me to call him Sly) got a call, and he had to leave. But he told me to sit next to him at Bob's party tonight. At the time I didn't know what party he was talking about, though.

So his bodyguard or somebody, I don't know who, led me to Bob Guccione. He was sitting in a room with Lawrence, and this really pretty woman named Amber Lynn. Bob owns Penthouse. I know about Penthouse because Dwayne buys the magazines. Anyway, Bob said he'd been watching me and that he'd love for me to appear in a photo shoot. My eyes just about bugged out when he told me that. I mean, nothing but beautiful women are in Penthouse and that means he thinks I'm beautiful like them. He told me he's having an after-party at the Beverly Hills Hotel and that he'd like me to attend. So, that's the party Sly was talking about.

Lawrence said he'll double my pay if I do his movie. My thoughts about this are starting to change, because Bob said he's good friends with Lawrence, and that he has a lot of respect for him. Then Amber said she's a porn star. She said she has a lot of fun doing movies, and she's been able to make lots of money and travel to different places like Hawaii and stuff. She kind of looked like a porn star to me, but I wasn't sure at first. I like her. She's nice.

It's all coming at me so fast that it's sorta hard to think. But I can't stay in this room forever, so I guess I'll leave now.

Randi sees me come out and rushes up. "I saw you talking to Stallone and they told me you were with Guccione. You're the star of the party, Ren. Feels good, doesn't it?"

I don't say anything, but I smile. It does feel good. "Are you coming to the Beverly Hills Hotel?" I ask.

"I'm not invited, but you are and I want you to go. Oh, and don't worry. I had a little talk with Scott. You won't be seeing him again."

I stare at Randi. I could only imagine what her "little talk" was like. But before I can think about it anymore, Amber grabs my hand.

"Come on, Fiorenza," she says, smiling. "Bob's limo is waiting for us."

"Okay, great," I say.

I look back to say goodbye to Randi, but she's gone.

Suddenly my heart beats fast and I feel hot. I want Randi. I want her to hold me, to tell me that everything's gonna be all right.

"Hey...you okay?" Amber asks. "You look nervous."

I look at her, and I don't say anything. But as she smiles at me, I calm down.

"Don't worry, honey! You look beautiful. We're gonna have a great time. Come on!" Amber says.

She holds my hand tighter and we head for the limo.