Finding Love Pt. 07

"I'm not ..." Meg began and then trailed off. She was about to deny what Jenna had said because even though she was in love with Kate, she somehow didn't see herself as being a lesbian.

That made her pause. Was she a lesbian? Wasn't the very definition of lesbian being a woman who was attracted to other women?

"Hello, earth to Meg," Jenna called and Meg turned to her.

"Okay, what were you just thinking about so hard that you completely tuned me out?"

"Jenna, I love, I'm in love with Kate, my boss. She loves me too. We're together, a couple but what you just said ― about me being a lesbian. It shocked me because I don't, didn't see myself like that," Meg answered.

"How could you not? A lesbian is a woman who prefers other women. You just said you were in love with a woman."

"I know but it never occurred to me before," Meg answered. Jenna couldn't help herself.

"Well I'm very glad I could help you see the obvious Mags," Jenna said with a smirk.

"What?" Meg asked.

"As usual you'd be lost without me to show you the way."

"Please don't tease me Jen. What do you think about this, what I've told you?"

"I think it's great and I'm very happy for you."

"Really Jen? You're okay with this, with me?" Meg asked, her fear coming to the surface.

"Well of course Megan. I love you and I want you to be happy. You are happy right?"

"Oh yes Jen, more than I ever imagined I could be."

"Good, I'm glad. So are you and your boss knockin' boots?"

"JEN!"

"What? It's a simple enough question. Are you two getting it on? Doing the nasty? Screwing each other silly?" Jenna fired off, making Meg blush madly.

"No, not yet," Meg replied.

"Well why the hell not? I've seen your boss; she's smokin' hot; why haven't you gotten some of that?"

"It's, well, I'm not ready yet Jen. This is all still new to me."

"Yeah, it is scary. We didn't learn this in health class."

"I know."

"It is easy though, being with a woman. You know what she likes because it's what you like. Plus it's way more fun to sleep with a woman."

"Oh really, and how do you know that?"

"Seriously Meg, haven't you ever wondered why you've never met any of my boyfriends?"

"Um, I guess," Meg replied.

"It's cause my boyfriends are really girlfriends, Meg. I've been a lesbian since I was like seventeen. I've just been a master at hiding it. I really never pegged you playing for our team though," Jenna continued as Meg sat on the couch, slack jawed with shock.

"Why didn't you ever tell me, Jen?" Meg asked after it had sunk in.

"I wasn't sure how you'd take it. I didn't want to risk our friendship if you took it badly," Jenna replied.

"How could you think that? I've worked with Kate for years and knew she was gay. You didn't need to hide from me."

"Meg, seriously, things are very different when you're talking about your gay boss who you work with and your gay friend who you've shared a bed with before. I couldn't take the chance that things would change between us," Jenna told her.

"Maybe but you should have trusted me enough to give me the benefit of the doubt."

"Yes and I'm sorry about that but let's focus on you instead. You just woke up and you realized you are now into women?"

"No, not really," Meg said and told Jenna all that had happened to her.

"Whoa, so Kate's had a thing for you for a long time and it turns out that you do too. I'm very happy for you Meg."

"Thanks Jen."

"I'm guessing you haven't told Eva yet or your folks?"

"No, not yet. I thought I'd start things off slowly with you."

"Glad you did Meg. It's not easy telling those around you about this stuff. I didn't have parents to tell and I've kept my life to myself for fear of how people would react. Any idea how your parents will take it?"

"No idea. I'm kind of afraid of what they'll say. You know they're not very religious so they won't throw the Bible at me or anything like that," Meg said and Jen nodded her agreement.

"Look hon, not to worry you or anything but you know how your mom is right? About appearances?"

"She's a little superficial, so what?"

"A little?"

"Jen please, what's your point?"

"My point is she may look at this as something to ruin her reputation, so you best prepare yourself for that possibility."

"God Jen, do you think she'd see it that way?"

"It's possible. I just want you to be ready if she does okay. I don't want you to be blindsided by this."

"Good grief, in all my thoughts and worries I didn't even consider that as a possible reaction from her. Now that I think about it, dad may not even react to it at all. He's always been so wrapped up in his work, his business."

"Good point," Jenna agreed.

They sat in silence for a bit, each letting their thoughts wander about what they had discovered about the other.

"So it's Friday night and you decided to spend it telling me about you instead of spending it with Kate? Where is the lucky lady?"

"She'll be by later. She went to try and talk with a good friend she had a spat with to see if there was any hope of saving the friendship," Meg said.

"Oh? Sounds intriguing."

"And what about you? I hope you didn't have to cancel a date to come over?" Meg asked.

"No, no date. My girl is out of town on business."

"You have a girl?"

"I'm proud to say that I do; we've been seeing each other for about four months now. Her name's Ivy Wilson. She's a doctor at the hospital and she's off at a medical conference. She'll be back on Monday. Once you get things in order maybe we could have dinner, me and my lady, you and yours?"

"That sounds great Jen, I'd like that," Meg said happily.

"Good, then it's a double date."

They chatted some more about things before Jenna left.

When Kate arrived, Meg greeted her with a deep, passion filled kiss. Meg was feeling great after her talk with Jenna.

"Mmm, you're in a good mood," Kate signed.

"Yes, while you were gone I did something," Meg told her.

"Oh; and what would that be?"

"I called Jenna, one of my best friends. She came over and I told her about me, us."

"I take it she was good with it otherwise you wouldn't be this happy."

"Oh yes, she's great with it, and she let me in on her secret. She's a lesbian too. I never knew; she'd hidden it from everyone, afraid of how we'd react."

"Really? Lots of us around aren't there," Kate said with a smile.

"Yeah, it seems so. Anyway, tell me about you and Vivian, what happened?"

"Babe, I didn't think it would happen but Viv forgave me. She and Ari are happy for us and Viv doesn't hold any grudges. She also apologized for how everything happened."

"That's wonderful Kate. I'm very happy for you."

"Thanks babe. I feel better now. I was really worried about if Viv and I could be friends again."

"I know sweetie."

"So you've told one person and she's taken it well. I'm glad you have a good friend who accepts you for you."

"Yes. She also helped me see that I'm a lesbian," Meg said.

"Oh? You weren't sure before?" Kate asked.

"Actually, I knew I loved you but I hadn't considered that I was in fact a lesbian now. It was ridiculous of me not to see it, see myself as a lesbian, but Jenna helped me to understand it."

"It's not ridiculous love. All this is still so new and strange to you. Everything will come to make sense to you in time. You just have to be patient."

"I know," Meg said and hugged Kate.

"Jenna also raised a good point about my parents, especially my mom," Meg said.

"Okay. What's that?"

"I've never told you because I don't really think about it but my mom is kinda shallow. She's big on appearances. I guess because I don't live at home anymore, I've put it out of my mind and sorta forgotten about it.

"Taking that into consideration, telling her about me being gay, well she could see it as an embarrassment to her reputation. If she takes it that way, well I don't know how I feel about it."

"I've heard about all sorts of reactions by parents to learning that their children are gay. Many times they're angry and upset. Some feel that they've done something wrong in raising their kids; like it's their fault the kid is gay." Kate reached for her honey's hand. "Honestly, there are quite a few who look at it and only see how it will reflect on them, their reputation. If your mom is like that then we'll deal with it babe. Nothing else we can do."

"I know. I'm afraid but also tired of hiding. Jenna, my friend, she's hidden who she is from me for as long as I've known her. She was afraid of how I'd react and because of that she never introduced me to any of her girlfriends. I don't want to live like that Kate. For better or worse I'm going to get it all out in the open tomorrow. I'm going to go see my parents and tell them everything."

Chapter 42

Meg's new found courage began to waver as she approached her parents' house. She still had a key and entered silently through the front door. The living room, like the rest of the house, was spotless, perfect in its decor.

There were many small trinkets and baubles, things her mother had collected during the once a year vacations she had gone on with Meg's father. They were all conversation pieces, things, objects to brag about to any visitors that might come to the house.

"Megan? You didn't call to say you were coming," Margaret Reece said as she entered her living room and found her daughter there.

"I know Mom. I wanted to surprise you," Meg replied as she went to her mother and kissed her cheek.

"Well that's very nice of you dear but next time, call so I'll be prepared."

"Mom you don't need to prepare anything special for me, really. Where's dad?"

"Where he always is dear; in his office, working.

"Yes, I should have known. I'll just go and say hi," Meg said and headed down the hall to her father's office. Meg had fond memories of rushing down the hall and hiding in her father's office as a child.

She knocked and heard her father's voice call for her to enter.

"Hi Dad," Meg called.

"Hello Meg my sweet, what brings you by today?"

"Can't I just drop by Dad?" Meg asked as she kissed her father's cheek in greeting.

"No, you haven't just dropped by since you moved out. What's going on?" Henry asked pointedly. He was a hardcore, no nonsense businessman who worked in finance. Henry was a partner in a medium sized company that had its offices in the heart of the city. On weekends he spent most of his time here in his home office. He knew his daughter well enough to know that something was up.

"Yes, I do have something to talk to you and mom about. Can you come to the living room so we can talk?"

"You have me intrigued, daughter dear," Henry said as he pushed away from his desk and followed Meg. Margaret was sipping tea as she sat on the sofa.

"Some tea dear?" she asked Meg.

"No thanks Mom."

"How about you, Henry?"

"No thank you Margaret, something tells me I might need something stronger," Henry said. He moved to the decanter on the corner shelf and poured some brandy before sitting next to his wife.

"What's going on Megan?" Margaret asked, sensing something was up.

"Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you about me, uh ... the new me. Now, I've thought long and hard about it. I have tried to deny it and not feel like I do but it's just not possible. There is NO changing it, no going back. This is who I am," Meg told them, her voice strong.

"That's all very nice Megan but what are you talking about?" Henry asked.

"I'm in love ... with a woman. I'm ... a lesbian," Meg, nervous as hell, had blurted it and sat waiting. The silence hung like a heavy fog. She wondered what her parents would say.

"That is ridiculous. It's absurd. You are not a lesbian," Margaret said, her voice incredulous.

"Mom, it's not ridiculous. This is who I am and nothing is going to change it," Meg said.

"Why are you doing this? You've had men in your life before, now all of a sudden you've changed? I will not have it. You will not bring this kind of shame to our door. What will the neighbors say, my friends. No! You will stop this foolish thinking, find yourself a respectable man, get married and have children like a normal young woman is supposed to," Margaret said, her voice firm and strong in her conviction

The words were hurtful to hear and Meg forced herself not to break down in front of her parents.

"There's nothing you can say that will change this, Mom. I'm a lesbian and that's all there is to it. I'm in love with a wonderful woman and we're going to make a life together. You can choose to be a part of it or not. Whatever you decide, you're my mother and I'll always love you."

Meg turned to her father, who had been quiet throughout all of it. "Dad?"

"Well, I admit ― of all the things you might have told us, I certainly wouldn't have expected this," Henry said as he processed what Meg had just said. "I can't say that I'm thrilled about it but it is your choice Megan so you'll have to live with it. I suppose accepting it is all that I can do," Henry told her.

"Henry!" Margaret snapped, but he ignored her.

"Bring this woman over so I can meet her. I'll judge if she's worthy," Henry added with a smirk, before he stood, downed the last of his brandy and returned to his office, leaving Margaret shocked and speechless, her eyes following the man she thought she knew.

Meg remained seated. She was also shocked by her father but happy that he accepted her and didn't cause a scene. Her mother was another story. Meg was unsure what to say or do next. Should she try and convince her mother to not be upset about what she had just learned? Was that even possible?

"I'm going out, I have an appointment at the salon," Margaret said crisply and left the room. She returned a minute later with her purse and coat in hand.

"Be sure to lock the door when you leave," was all she said as she opened the front door and closed it after her.

Meg felt the full impact of her mother's behavior and her hurtful words about what Meg knew was her true self. She held herself together long enough to leave and head to Kate's apartment.

Once inside and in the safety of Kate's arms, Meg cried her eyes out.

"I'm here babe; it's going to be alright. I love you and I have you. Let it all out, honey," Kate comforted as she held her love and waited for the tears to subside.

"I knew it was coming but it still was so hard to hear. She was only concerned about what it would do to her status and reputation when her friends and neighbors found out. I know she's my mother but right now I hate her so much for all that she said," Meg sobbed.

"I know sweetie, but those feelings will pass; I promise. You mother is who she is and can't help it. Maybe she'll accept us. Until then, just give it, and her, some time to get used to things."

"I guess so. At least my dad took things okay enough. He wants to meet you," Meg said.

"As your boss, I've always wondered why I've never met your parents in all the time we've worked together," Kate said.

"Well it just never came up. My dad works constantly and my mom was never interested in meeting my friends let alone my boss. Actually, over the years, mom has only ever been interested in whom I was dating and if he was up to her standards."

"Oh really? No wonder you never talked about your parents. So tell me babe, if I were a guy, would I measure up to her standards?" Kate asked her voice teasing slightly.

"Oh I think you would. You're successful, and you have a good reputation, so yes, I think she would approve," Meg said, her sadness leaving her for the moment.

"Well your mother will just have to accept that I'm successful, I have a good reputation and I'm in love with her daughter," Kate said and kissed Meg.

* * * *

While Kate was cheering up Meg, Margaret was at her beauty salon trying to cope with her daughter's revelation. She didn't really have an appointment but the salon owner, Nicole, was good enough to fit Margaret into the day's schedule. The minute Margaret walked in, Nicole could tell something was wrong. The usually calm and well put together woman seemed as troubled as Nicole had ever seen her.

"Hello Mrs. Reece, you're not due for another week but I can fit you in if you like," Nicole told her with a warm smile.

"Yes Nicole, that would be wonderful. I could use the distraction today."

"Of course, a wash and cut or are we feeling adventurous today? Perhaps try a different color? Something shocking perhaps," Nicole asked.

"Oh god no; I've had enough of a shock for today already," Margret said.

"I'm sorry to hear that since it doesn't sound like it was a good one. If you need to talk, we can go to my office in the back," Nicole offered. She had been Margaret's hairdresser for over a year and liked the woman, even though she did have a superior attitude at times.

"No, I don't think so. It's very kind of you to offer but this is not something I can share with a stranger," Margaret said.

"Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger than the people you know. Besides, you look like you could use something to drink, something a little stronger than tea," Nicole said with a knowing smirk.

"Yes, you do have a point there," Margaret agreed and followed Nicole to her office in the back.

"A little wine? I have red and white."

"You keep wine at the office?" Margaret asked.

"Yes, for those stressful days when I need a little something extra," Nicole said with a wink.

"Red please, Nicole," Margaret said when Nicole held up each bottle in silent questioning.

"With pleasure, and please, call me Nikki."

"Oh I couldn't possibly. You have such a nice name. Nicknames are so ghastly," Margaret said, her face showing her dislike of them.

"Well you're entitled to your opinion, Mags," Nicole said as she handed Margaret a glass. Margaret scowled at hearing her name shortened.

"Please don't. It's Margaret."

"And it's Nikki. I'll call you yours if you call me mine," Nicole dared her.

"Alright, I give, Nikki,"

"There, that wasn't so hard now was it, Margaret," Nicole told her with a grin.

"No, I suppose not," Margaret agreed as she sipped the cool wine."

"So what is this shock you suffered today?"

"Firstly Nikki, I need your assurance that what we talk about will stay between us. I can't have this getting out," Margaret said seriously.

"Of course Margaret. I promise, what we talk about here stays right here," Nicole assured her.

"Well, it's my daughter, Megan. She came home today and told her father and me that she's ..." Margaret paused, unable to say the words.

"Whoa, sounds serious. Is it really bad?"

"Yes. She told us she's a lesbian," Margaret said in a hushed voice as if she were afraid someone else would hear her.

"Okay," Nicole said, as she waited for what Margaret would say next.

"That's all you have to say about it?" Margaret asked, shocked that Nicole wasn't upset or taken aback by what she heard.

"Yes. I know it's a shock for you to learn this but it's really not a big deal Margaret, not in today's world," Nicole told her.

"How can you say that? This is going to change everything."

"Change things how exactly?" Nicole asked.

"What am I supposed to tell my friends? How can I say my daughter is with a woman when they ask who she's dating? One of the women I know has a son that's gay. She barely talks about him because if she does, the other women make faces, showing their displeasure about the subject. I'm going to end up like that."

"So what's the alternative? You'll disown your daughter and stop talking about her to please your friends. If they're your real friends, they'll be supportive of you and your daughter," Nicole told her.