All Comments on 'First Trip to the Club'

come these losers. one/half ass star

This is the toughest audience on Lit. These folks would throw rocks at their grandma.

You ought to have posted this in the bdsm category. I'm sure you would receive a good response there. Perhaps you can contact the moderator and ask about posting it there and removing it from LW. That can be done.

A good beginning story. Keep at it.

Let the critics split hairs about where this story should go -- I think it's great....love the glory hole, particularly the huge cock and her backing into it...great...

Nothing new; just a regurgitation of the same old "I am so proud that my wife can handle 15" cocks non-stop for 30 hours."

p.s. The only difference between this any the other cuckold stories today is this numbnuts has yet to admit he is a cuckold.

You provide no information about yourself on your biography so it's difficult to know how much literary experience you have. From the story you have offered, I would suggest you could improve by finding an editor or proof reader who will pick up your word ommissions and silly word check errors eg "she messaged his cock" - you mean she was skilled in sign language for the deaf/blind or you have changed an "a" to and "e"? It would also help if you read your work through and invested in a thesaurus so that when you write the same word or phrase twice within the space of two lines, you can substitute something else to capture your reader's attention rather than battering them into a state of mental numbness.

... you wouldn't have got all this grief; LW is notoriously fussy about BDSM stories 'invading their territory'. As it went, it was pretty good, but I would advise you to do as FA_JF said, and try to get it moved. Please keep writing and do your best to ignore the hypercritical - four stars.

The people commenting I mean.

Pathetic lives to make such comments.

What the fuck? A short story? You can do better.