For Love of a Brother Ch. 01

Diane looked at Joe and he, back at her. Serena looked blankly at the floor, not totally comprehending what the doctor had suggested.

"You're saying you would take a kidney from one of us and put it in him?" Serena asked.

"Yes," he said simply.

"What about the donor?" Diane asked. "Wouldn't we be at risk with only one kidney?"

"A person can easily live on one kidney. Look at Andy. He lived on one half of a damaged kidney for seventeen years. One kidney can easily do the job of two."

"I see," Diane said. She had already made up her mind to be the donor. She would do anything to help her son.

There was a pause as Diane and Joe contemplated the proposal. "Well," Joe said, "I don't know about Diane, but I'll give him one of mine."

"No, you won't Joe, I'll give him one of mine," Diane offered.

"Di, listen..."

"No, Joe, I'm going to do it..."

"Mr. and Mrs. Burleson," Dr. Venkata interrupted, "I think it's wonderful you both want to be the donor, but it is not that easy. We will have to test both of you to see if you are a close enough match to make the transplant worthwhile."

"I want to be tested, too," Serena said quietly, looking at the doctor. "I can, can't I?"

"No! Never!" Diane said sternly. "You will not be tested. I won't allow it."

"But, mom, I want to do it."

"No, Serena. You are too young and you will not do it. You have too many years ahead of you. You have college, children. No, you won't do it."

"It's not fair! He's my brother. I want to do this for him..."

"No! I don't want to hear another word about it from you..."

Joe remained silent, deep in thought. He didn't know when he would have to step in. Fortunately, the doctor did it for him.

"If I may," Dr. Venkata said, "I think it's admirable for one so young to want to do something so heroic for brother. I am not one to meddle in a family's affair, but I think I have a vested interest in this." Diane started to protest. "Please, hear me out. If Serena wants to be tested, I think it is in Andy's best interest for her to be tested, and only because of this. There is the possibility that the two of you may not be a match for him, but Serena may be."

"What determines a match?" Joe asked.

"Blood samples will be taken from each of you and Andy. From the samples, tissue will be extracted and tested to see if they are compatible. Andy's and your tissue will be placed in a petri dish and will be checked to see if they draw closer, stay the same distance, or go away from each other. It is called an "Antigen" match. A six antigen match is perfect, with little chance of rejection. A one antigen match has a very slight chance of being successful." The doctor waited for more questions.

"I want to be tested," Serena said, quietly, but firmly. Her jaw was set and she was serious.

"No," Diane said.

Serena had been looking down since the argument began, but her head snapped up as she looked at her mother. "Mom, I'm going to be tested. If I have to sneak out of school to do it, I will. I have to do this. You heard him. What if you guys aren't a good match? What happens then? Andy goes on dialysis without us ever knowing if I could help him. Sorry, but that's not going to happen. If I get tested and I'm not a match, I can live with that. But, there's no way I'm not going to find out. I have to know."

Joe spoke before Diane could protest. "I think we need to discuss this at home and not here. Arguing will get us nowhere and it certainly won't help Andy. We need to calm down. He doesn't need to see us mad at each other."

"I think that is an excellent idea. There is no rush with this decision," Dr. Venkata said. "Just let me know when you would like to be tested and I will make the arrangements." He stood up and went back to his desk where he picked up various brochures and pamphlets. "Here is some reading material I think you will find most helpful." He handed them to Joe. "If you have any questions whatsoever about the testing or about transplants, please do not hesitate to contact me," he said as he showed them to the door.

The short drive to the hospital was painfully quiet. Serena knew if she said anything, her mother would jump down her throat and she wouldn't be nearly as nice as she had been in the doctor's office. Her mom had quite a temper whenever Serena disagreed or argued with her. Luckily for both of them, they got along very well and rarely argued. The thought of being tested thrilled her and scared her at the same time. What if she was the best match? What would she do? She had never had any type of surgery in her life and truthfully didn't know what to expect. She didn't even know how they would remove the kidney. All she knew was she wanted to be tested. She had to be tested and no one, not even her mother, was going to stop her from doing it.

Andy was in good spirits when they arrived. They didn't avoid the subject of his total renal failure and they talked about his need for dialysis. They did, however, avoid the subject of a kidney transplant, something all three knew needed to be discussed at length amongst themselves before they included Andy.

When his lunch arrived, Diane and Joe excused themselves for their own lunch while Serena stayed with Andy. She claimed she would get something when they came back. Truthfully, she just wanted to be alone with him for a few minutes without her parents around. Many an evening, they would sit in one of their bedrooms and just talk It never mattered about what. They just enjoyed being with each other.

His lunch was bland and sparse, but he was hungry and it didn't matter what it tasted like. Serena waited until he was finished before she spoke. "How are you really feeling?" she asked, her brown eyes probing his.

"Physically, I'm just whipped. I feel like I played three or four games in a day. I feel so tired all of the time and all I want to do is sleep. I wish I could get some energy back."

"You will. It'll just take some time," she said. Serena looked down at the sheets and then back at him. "How do you feel about the kidney and dialysis?"

Andy stared off into space as he thought about the morning and when he found out. "I was pretty upset when I found out, but a nurse talked to me and I felt better after that. I guess I'm still mad about it, though. My baseball season is screwed and unless I get some energy back, I won't even be able to play summer ball. I was going to take Jenny to the Valentine's Dance Saturday, but that's out the window. Hell, I don't even know if I'll be able to take her to prom." He looked away as he could feel the tears starting to come again. He willed them back into his sockets before they had a chance to spill.

"You'll make it to prom, Andy. You'll get your strength back. I know you will. I also know you'll work your ass off to play summer ball, so that's not even an issue."

"I don't know," he said sadly. "I don't know how much energy I'll have after dialysis. Maybe I'll only have about half my strength. Who knows? I guess I'll just have to wait and see."

"Yeah," she agreed.

"Have you talked to Jenny?"

"I talked to her last night. I talked to her mom today and she thinks she'll be coming out tonight to visit."

Andy's eyes brightened. "It'll be great to see her."

"And what am I, chopped liver?" Serena asked indignantly.

"You," he smiled, "are my very best friend." He took her hand. "You know when I said I was angry about all of this?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm scared shitless, too."

"Of course you are. I would be. It's natural to be scared. I'd think something was wrong with you if you weren't." She looked at him carefully, still holding his hand. "It's okay to be scared. You don't have to put up some brave front for me because I know how scared I'd be if I were in your shoes."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

Andy looked down as the tears were once again filling his eyes. This time, though, he didn't feel like fighting them. He could always be himself around Serena, whether he was angry or sad, kidding or serious. Serena noticed the tears and scooted up on the bed. Without a word, she gathered him to her and held him, his head resting on her shoulder. And neither of them saw their parents standing at the door, watching them and marveling.

Jenny arrived shortly after seven o'clock not knowing what to expect. She didn't know if he would look normal or sick and she didn't know how to prepare herself if he looked really bad. What would she say? What would she do? Feeling scared and unsure of herself, she found his room and slowly walked in. Serena, Diane, and Joe were all seated around his bed talking softly. Serena saw her first and held her finger to her lips. She got up quickly and walked softly to her.

"He's sleeping," she said in hushed tones. Diane and Joe came over and the four of them left the room and walked to a nearby waiting area. Once they were there, Serena made introductions.

"We're very glad to meet you," Diane said. "We've heard a lot about you from Andy and Serena."

"Some of it was good, I hope," Jenny said.

"All of it was good," Joe said.

Hands in her pockets, Jenny asked, "How's he doing?"

"He's pretty tired," Serena said, "but he's doing alright. He'll probably wake up in a little bit. He usually doesn't sleep very long."

"How did he take the news?"

"About as well as could be expected. I don't think it's totally sunk in yet. It may take him a while to get used to it."

"Oh."

Serena looked at her parents, then at Jenny. "Hey guys, I'm going to take her back to see him, if you don't mind."

"Sure," Joe said. "We'll wait out here for a few minutes."

When they got to the room, Jenny asked, "How does he look?"

"A little worse than when you last saw him, but he's improved."

"Improved?"

"He looked awful last night."

They went in and Jenny steeled herself. When she saw him, he wasn't nearly as bad as she expected, but it still saddened her greatly. "Shit," she muttered under her breath as she looked at him. He looked much younger when he was asleep, almost like a thirteen or fourteen year old. Jenny sat in a chair next to his bed and stared at him, feeling great sadness that he had to be so sick. She didn't know much about kidney disease and was surprised at the devastating effect it had on him. Jenny was also amazed at how fast he had gone downhill. Just a week before, he seemed so healthy. Now, he looked like a shell of his former self.

"We were going to go to the dance Friday," she whispered.

"I know."

"I'd give up all the dances in the world for him to get better."

"You guys will go to other dances. He just needs time to get his strength back."

"He won't be able to play baseball this year, will he?"

Serena shook her head. "Maybe summer ball. We don't know how much strength he'll have."

"He's going to be so disappointed."

"I know."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. "We had such a great time Saturday night," Jenny remarked. "That seems like so long ago. Almost like a lifetime..."

"Lifetime?" Andy asked sleepily, stretching his arms. "What are you talking about?" he asked Serena, not seeing Jenny.

"Waiting for you to wake up!" Jenny said sarcastically. "I haven't got all night to wait for you."

His face jerked quickly over to her side and a big smile erupted over his face. Serena was amazed at the transformation. "Hey Jenny!" he exclaimed.

Jenny was out of her chair quickly, throwing her arms around him and hugging him gently. "Hey yourself," she said softly as she moved back.

Serena moved discreetly away from the bed. "I'll be back in a few minutes," she said before she disappeared unnoticed.

Her hand found his and she squeezed it lightly, noting it didn't seem to have the same strength it had just a few days ago. "How're you feeling?" she asked softly.

"Okay, but I'm feeling better now," he replied.

Jenny smiled shyly. "You don't seem too sick to me if you can flirt like that."

"Who's flirting? I was merely stating the truth about how I'm feeling."

"Right." She looked behind her and then sat on the bed next to him. Looking at him seriously, she asked, "How are you really feeling?" Her eyes searched for answers before he could speak.

"I just feel really, really tired, almost like I couldn't get out of this bed if my life depended on it. This laying around and doing nothing is about to drive me crazy."

"Aren't you allowed to get out of bed?"

"I've been up a few times," he admitted, "but for only a little bit at a time. I get exhausted really fast."

"I guess you'll just have to work and get stronger."

"Yeah."

They talked about her day at school and her practice. As she knew he would, he bawled her out for her bad practice, good natured, of course. They avoided talking about the dance, but instead focused on other events coming up in the school year and their studies. He confided in her the fact of his uncertainty about his homework and whether he'd be able to catch up quickly. Jenny told him she'd be more than happy to help him in any of the subjects if she could, but thought Serena would be better at it since she took a lot of the subjects he was taking now. Andy assured her he would like both of them to help him, if they were able.

Serena and her parents came back a few minutes later to find Jenny sitting once more in the chair beside the bed. She moved away to let Diane be near. After all, she was his mother. Jenny stayed for another half hour before she left, needing to get home to do her school work. She didn't have a private good-bye as she had hoped, but she promised to visit again as soon as she could. Serena walked her to the elevators and they lingered there for a few minutes before Jenny pushed the down button.

"I really like him," Jenny said.

"I know."

"No, I mean Ireally like him."

Serena remembered when his face lit up looking at Jenny when he first woke up. "Well, hereally likes you, too."

"Do you think so?"

Serena smiled thoughtfully. "I know so."

Serena didn't want to argue that night. She planned to go back to school the next day and she was tired. But, her dad wanted to get everything out in the open about the testing. He wasn't one to let things boil until they exploded. But, Serena thought, he had taken the night off again and he didn't have to worry about getting up.

Diane made it very clear from the start she wanted to be the donor and was adamant about Serena not taking part in it.

She kept saying, "You will not do this. I won't let you," and expected Serena to accept it. But, Serena had other ideas and would not back down.

"You think you're the only one in this family who loves him," Serena shot back.

"I do not think that. I know you love him and I know your father loves him. I am in the best position to give him a kidney. Don't you understand that?"

"Then what's the big deal if I get tested? You may be in the best position to donate, I'll agree with you there, but what if you and Andy aren't a match? What happens then?"

"We will be a match. I am his mother."

Serena rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Have you listened to Dr. Venkata or read any of the pamphlets? A perfect stranger could be more compatible than you. It has to do with tissue and blood match."

"We have the same blood type."

"That's not going to make any difference if your tissues don't match."

"They will match."

"How do you know that?" Serena was ready to pull her hair out with frustration.

Joe finally had enough and stepped in. "Okay, both of you, let's calm down and talk about this rationally. Above all else, we have to do what is best for Andy. Do we agree on that?" They both nodded their heads. "Okay, the best thing for Andy is to get the most compatible kidney so it won't be rejected or the likelihood of it being rejected is diminished. Do we know if you are the best candidate?" he asked, looking at Diane.

"Yes, we do."

"How?"

"I am his mother."

"I'm his father. Why aren't I the best candidate? We're not talking about who is in the best position to give him a kidney. Hands down, you're the best. But, it certainly won't help Andy a bit if you don't match up with him."

"But, I will match up with him. Don't you see that?"

"Diane," he sighed, "you will match only when the test results tell us you will. All the wishing and hoping in the world won't amount to a hill of beans if scientifically, you are not a match. If Serena and I are not a good match and you are, great. If I'm the best match, fantastic. And if Serena is the best match, then I think it's her decision and her decision alone if she wants to do it."

Serena looked at her father in disbelief. She couldn't believe he was siding with her.

"You can't be serious," Diane said, shaking her head. "You would actually allow Serena to give him a kidney over us?"

"Only if she was the clear cut choice over us. Other than that, no, I wouldn't want her to do it. But, we've got to think of Andy first. If you read the pamphlets, you know the donor can easily live on one kidney. Any disease it might get in the future would more than likely have affected both kidneys anyway, just like Andy. The donor is no more susceptible to any kidney problems than a person with two. Di, we can't stop her from doing it. You know that. She's just as stubborn as you and she would find a way to get tested."

The last statement brought a small smile from Diane, although she tried to hide it. "I just can't stand the thought of both of my children being operated on at the same time," she cried.

"Why don't we just wait and see before we jump to conclusions," Joe suggested. "I wouldn't be too thrilled about that possibility either, but if it's the best thing for Andy, then I think we have to consider it."

"Well, I don't agree with you and I will never agree with you on this. Every fiber of my being tells me to stop this from happening, but I know I can't stop her from doing it. I just pray to God it doesn't come to that."

"Me too," Joe agreed.

"Mom," Serena said softly, "believe me, I'm not doing this out of selfishness. I only want Andy to get better and if I can do that or you or dad, it just doesn't matter who. The only thing that matters is Andy getting better and living a normal life. If you or dad are the best match for him, I would rejoice in that, only because one of us could do it and help him."

Diane reached for her and hugged her tight. "I just don't want you to do it," she cried.

"I know," Serena said. "I'd be the same way if I were in your shoes."

The days went by slowly for Andy. Little by little, he regained his strength and was able to be out of bed for almost an hour without too much trouble. Whenever his family visited, he sensed something was going on just by their looks to each other, but nothing was said directly to him and the moment would pass. He was told he would be able to go home either Friday or Saturday, depending on how well he was doing and how he was responding to the dialysis. Also, the ports in his groin would soon be removed and he would have a minor surgery to have a fistula placed in his upper arm to allow easy access for his dialysis treatments.

He still couldn't get used to the fact of not being able to use the bathroom on his own. The catheter had been taken out when he stopped producing urine. He could produce a few dribbles now and then, but it was pointless to try anymore. Jenny had visited Wednesday night and he was so glad to see her. He really looked forward to talking to her and having her near him and she always brightened his spirits. They didn't get any private time together, but it didn't matter to him. She stayed for an hour and he was disappointed when she had to go.

He still felt sad and depressed at times, but he talked to a few nurses and they always seemed to have the right words to say to comfort him. He really was looking forward to being home and back in familiar surroundings. Andy hated that his family had to come out every day to visit and felt as if it was a burden for them. At least if he was home, his care would be easier for everyone. When the family visited Thursday evening, Diane was introduced to the renal dietician who introduced her to cooking for a dialysis patient. Basically, it had to be sodium and potassium free. All canned vegetables had to be salt free, no snacks with salt, limited potatoes, etc. It was a very bland diet, but she made excellent suggestions for seasoning that would make the transition a bit easier for Andy.