For Love of a Brother Ch. 01

"Yes. Sometimes, it's hard for me to catch my breath. It's like I have to breathe twice as hard to get half the air."

Dr. Torgeson jotted down more notes. He motioned for a nearby nurse to come to him. "I want a complete renal panel done stat, and I need the results as soon as possible."

"Yes sir," she replied. She called the lab to send down a phlebotomist to take a sample of his blood.

Andy was cold and scared and wanted his family with him. When he heard the doctor mention "renal", he knew it meant something about his kidney and he guessed something was wrong with it. He knew he only had the ½ kidney left, but he really never gave it much thought. He assumed it would go on forever and no one had ever told him otherwise. Andy had heard of people who had to go on dialysis and he knew he wanted nothing to do with that. He only hoped it could be fixed.

Dr. Torgeson came out of the ER a half hour later and found a very anxious family waiting for him. He guided them to a deserted area. Looking at them through rounded spectacles, he began. "We're running blood tests right to confirm what I already suspect."

"It's his kidney, isn't it?" Diane interrupted.

"I believe it is," he agreed. "We won't know for sure until I get the test results back, but all indications point in that direction."

Joe muttered to himself and looked away.

"I've sent for the staff nephrologist and he should be seeing him shortly."

"When can we see him?" Diane asked.

"In just a few minutes after Dr. Venkata sees him and I've consulted with him. I'll come back for you, then."

As he turned to walk back to the ER, Joe said meekly, "Okay."

Serena had never seen her parents so sad and defeated. It surprised her to see them slump in their chairs so pathetically. She knew it was bad and that Andy's kidney wasn't working, but she also knew her brother was a fighter. He had proven that time after time from when he was an infant. She knew he could overcome this too.

Serena sat down next to her mom and Diane looked at her through tear-welled eyes. "Mom, he'll be alright. I know he will. He's too tough to let this get him down."

Diane reached out and touched her cheek. "You just don't understand, baby. If he loses the kidney, he'll have to go on dialysis."

"I know, but..."

"He'll be hooked up to a machine for three or four hours, three times a week. He'll hate that. He's been through so much already...." Her voice tapered off as she struggled to keep her composure.

"If anyone can get through this, he will. He can adjust to anything," Serena said confidently.

"I hope so, baby...I hope so."

Andy stared at the ceiling of the ER and wondered what was happening with him. He was still cold and his penis hurt where they catheterized him. That was one of the worst experiences he had ever faced. Even a doctor grabbing his nuts was preferable to that! They had taken four vials of blood from him, but he was so sore from everything else, he barely felt the needle stick. Maybe the drawer was just very good. He didn't know. He didn't know about anything at that time. He did know he wanted his family near and wanted to see them in the worst way. He wanted to talk to Jenny and hear her voice. Hearing her voice would soothe him as much as Mozart, he thought.

An eastern Indian doctor came and looked at his chart for a few minutes before he departed. He had studied it very hard and made his own notes on it, but said nothing nor acknowledged the scared patient in the bed. He left almost as quickly as he had arrived and Andy was alone once again. He wished someone would tell him something, anything. Waiting was the worst part. Time was dragging and he thought they had been there for hours. He glanced at a clock that was to his immediate left and it was only about half past seven, so they had only been there about ninety minutes. Whenever he asked a nurse about what was going on, they would only tell him they were waiting for test results. They did give him an extra blanket, and although it helped warm him, the heaviness again his groin area was uncomfortable.

It was almost an hour later before Dr. Torgeson emerged from the ER with another doctor by his side, a very small eastern Indian man with delicate features. He couldn't have been more than five foot four and probably about one hundred pounds soaking wet. Dr. Torgeson introduced him to the family.

"Mr. And Mrs. Burleson, this is Dr. Venkata, our staff nephrologist."

"Come, sit down," Dr. Venkata said softly, indicating the chairs behind them. They sat down and he sat in front of them.

"I have examined your son's blood work and his chart and I am afraid I do not have good news," he said. Diane sighed heavily and looked away. Joe looked down at the floor. "His urine output is minimal and his creatinine level is very high. All of his vital statistics are poor at this point. I believe he is in acute renal failure at this time and he needs to undergo dialysis treatment immediately." He paused momentarily.

"Will he regain his kidney function?" Joe asked.

"I do not know that at this time. More tests will have to be run to determine that," Dr. Venkata answered.

"When do you want to begin the dialysis?" he asked.

"As soon as possible. He is very sick and he needs to have his system cleansed."

"I see," Joe said softly, letting the reality sink in. "We'd like to see him." Serena nodded in agreement.

"I will have a nurse bring you back in just a few minutes. Do you have any more questions?"

Arms crossed, Diane shook her head as tears began to spill down her face. Dr. Venkata looked at her and smiled thinly. "Mrs. Burleson," he said quietly, yet reassuringly, "your son is sick, but he will not die. Keep your spirits up for him." Diane looked at him blankly, then nodded.

It was but a few minutes later when they were taken back to see him. Serena was shocked when she saw him at first. The IV, the oxygen mask, and the lack of good color in his face scared her momentarily before she regained her composure. Once she got past that, she saw he was still the same brother she loved.

Each of them gave him a hug with his father being the last, roughing up his hair afterwards.

"How are you feeling?" Diane asked, smoothing his hair out of his eyes.

"Pretty tired," he answered. "They're sticking me and poking me like I'm a pin cushion. I won't tell you what else they've done to me," he said, looking straight at his sister. "So," he said quietly, "what's going on with me? No one's told me anything."

All three exchanged looks as no one wanted to break the news to him. After what seemed like an eternity, Serena stepped forward. "Your kidney stopped working and you're getting sick from it." They waited for his reaction.

"I figured as much," he wheezed, trying to catch his breath again. "When's it going to start working again?"

Diane spoke this time. "They don't know if it will, honey. We'll just have to wait and see."

"Shit," Andy muttered softly so they couldn't hear him. That was great. That was just great, he thought to himself. Just when I think I got the team made, this has to happen. Damn it!

Serena saw his furrowed eyebrows and thought he was in discomfort, but then she looked again and knew that look. It was his angry look and she was glad to see it. It meant he was ready to fight and he wasn't ready to give up.

They talked quietly for a few minutes before it was time for him to be taken to the dialysis unit. Andy asked Serena to call Jenny for him since he would be unable to do it himself. She said she would. Serena gave him a kiss, as did his mom, before they wheeled him out of the ER and towards the elevator. It wasn't until he was out of their sight that Diane broke down. Together, Joe and Serena led Diane to a small waiting room that was relatively deserted. She calmed down after a few minutes and asked Joe to call her parents to tell them the news.

"I need to take a walk," Serena announced. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

As she turned to leave, Joe touched her arm. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine, daddy," she said sincerely. "I just need to take a walk, that's all."

"Okay," he said, not totally convinced. "Come back soon. Your mom needs us both here."

"I will," she promised as she began to walk away. She didn't know where she was going to go, she just needed to get away from there. The thoughts of Andy lying in the ER came rushing back to her and she began to feel faint. She hurried to the nearest exit and walked out into the brisk February evening. The dizziness faded as the cold went straight through her, but she still didn't feel any better. Chilled to the bone, she returned to the door and went back inside.

Remembering her promise to Andy, she found the nearest payphone and dialed Jenny's number.

She answered on the first ring, "Hello," almost frantically.

"It's me, Serena," she said sadly.

"How is he?"

"Are you sitting?"

"Yes. Is itthat bad?"

"It's bad. You may not know this, but Andy had kidney problems as a baby and he only has about a half of one kidney. One was taken out of him when he was a baby."

"I didn't know. He never told me." Oh my God, she thought to herself.

"Well, the doctor's tried to repair the other one, too, but they never guaranteed anything."

"Did it give out?" Jenny asked.

"It looks like it," Serena answered.

"Shit!" she exclaimed.

"My feelings exactly."

They remained silent for a few seconds as Jenny tried to absorb it all. "What happens now?"

"Well, they took him to the dialysis department and they're going to try to clean him out. Then, I guess they'll try and see if they can get the kidney to start working again."

"Will it work again?"

"They didn't say yes or no, but they didn't seem too optimistic."

"Damn." Jenny sat slumped in the chair in the kitchen as her mom came in. She gave a thumbs up to Jenny with an eye cocked. Jenny shook her head sadly and gave her a thumbs down. Angie frowned and patted her daughter on the shoulder and left her alone again.

"Did you get to see him? How was he?" Jenny asked rapidly.

"He looks a lot worse than he did at school. I almost didn't recognize him. He made sure I called you, though."

"Sounds like him."

"Yeah. Well, I got to get back. Mom's taking it real hard..."

"Tell them hi for me, would you? Tell Andy I'm thinking of him when you see him."

"I will. If it's not too late, I'll call again."

"Please do, Serena. I don't care how late it is."

"I won't call past eleven, okay?"

"Okay. I'll let you go. Thanks for calling."

"Okay. Bye." Serena hung up the phone and began her journey back to the waiting room.

The pain was excruciating as the needle was moved slowly into his groin. Dr. Venkata was slowly pressing a dialysis needle into Andy groin area in hopes of finding the renal artery. Andy flinched at every movement as the white hot pain was almost too much for him to bear. He was crying from exhaustion and pain. A nurse was at his head, patting him reassuring on the shoulders and whispering encouragement to him. The doctor slowly moved it forward, then inched back, then started again. Andy tried to stay still, but the pain was just too much.

Exasperated by Andy's flinching and his inability to get the needle into the artery, Dr. Venkata pulled back slightly. "Mr. Burleson," he said calmly, "you must remain still. You must not move."

Through his tears, Andy replied, "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"Have you ever had this done to yourself?"

"No, I have not."

"Then, you don't know what you're talking about if you expect me to lie still and not make any moves while you're sticking a needle in me downthere."

Dr. Venkata paused for a moment. "Do the best that you can, son. Work with me and I will try to make this as easy for you as possible. Okay?"

"Okay."

It would take another five minutes, but the doctor had the needle in place. He taped it down securely before he took off his rubber gloves. Thinking he was done, Andy let out a loud sigh and brushed the tears away from his eyes.

"I will let you rest for a minute before we start again," the doctor said as he moved away.

"Start again?" Andy looked wildly at the nurse who had moved to his side by then. "We have to do this again?"

"I'm afraid so," she nodded. "He put the needle into the renal artery. Next, he'll have to put one in the renal vein."

Andy trembled at the thought and began to shake as the tears began to flow again.

"Hey, hey," she said softly, "it's okay. This one goes in a lot easier. I promise."

Andy looked at her and could tell she wasn't lying to him. She took his hand and squeezed it. "I promise," she said again. And it did.

Later that night, actually early Tuesday morning, Andy was alone with his thoughts. His family had reluctantly left hours before, although it was long after the posted eight o'clock time. He guessed it was around midnight when they finally did depart. His dad had called work and had taken the day off for his midnight shift. His mom wasn't going to work and he figured Serena wouldn't be in any decent shape to go to school, either. He didn't feel too bad, hungry maybe, and sore from the initial dialysis and the catheter. Other than that, not too bad.

The dialysis went better than he expected. He slept through most of it, getting some shut eye he sorely needed. His visit with his family went well. No one seemed to be as sad as they had been previously. Although no one said anything, in his heart he knew he wasn't going to be able to play baseball that spring, even if the kidney did recover. He wasn't as upset about that as he figured he'd be, or maybe it just hadn't sunk in yet. After all, he could possibly play summer ball when he got his strength back.

Andy knew he would be out of school for quite awhile and wondered about his school work. It was going to take forever for him to catch up. He figured he would miss at least a week of school, depending upon how fast he bounced back. He was not ready to concede that his kidney was finished, that it would never function again. He had faith in the doctors and in the medicine he was being given that his kidney would start functioning again and he would once again live a normal life.

Jenny crossed his mind over and over once they left. He briefly considered calling her, but it was way too late for that and Serena told him she had already called her. Perhaps he could call her after she got home from practice. He really didn't know what he would say and he thought it might be an awkward conversation. The thought of the Valentine's Dance crossed his mind and he doubted they would be able to go now. It saddened him because he knew Jenny really wanted to go, plus, it would have been their first real date. Maybe some other time, he thought as he gazed out the window. Their was virtually no traffic out on the nearby highway and the downtown skyline was dark and still. He wondered what time it was, but it really didn't matter anymore. Eventually, he got tired enough to fall into an uneasy sleep.

Jenny was restless beyond belief all day. Her thoughts were totally on Andy and his health and nothing else mattered to her, especially her classes. And when she realized Serena was absent, there went her sole source of information. She was tempted to call their house many times between classes, but she knew they'd be at the hospital. She also resisted calling his room, figuring he would be out for tests or resting. She certainly didn't want to wake him. Talking with her parents that morning, they were going to allow her to use a car a visit him in the evening. Jenny even considered skipping practice and visiting him earlier, but she knew Andy and her parents would disapprove of that. She would just have to wait until the evening.

Before practice started, she told the coach what was going on with Serena and why she wasn't there. When the team heard about the news, they asked Jenny many questions and told her to give Serena and Andy their best when she visited. Her practice was lackluster and her effort wasn't her best, but she plowed through and did the best she could considering the circumstances. Once it was over, she showered and dressed quickly and met her mom at the car, where she heard the bad news.

He didn't know why he cried when he heard there was no hope for his kidney to regain its function, nor did he know the nurse who happened to be there at the time. All he knew was he was crying and she was holding him and telling him it was okay and everything would work out for him. He didn't understand how things could be alright when he was only seventeen and he didn't have any kidneys, plus he would have to go on dialysis for the rest of his life. That was certainly a wonderful thing to look forward to!

"But," she said, looking at him square in the eye, "you are still alive and many people function very well while on dialysis. You will adjust. There are other options you will be told about in due time, also, so try not to think about how bad things are right now. You've got many things to live for and to look forward to. Your main goal now is to get strong enough to go home and get back to school where you belong."

"But, it isn't fair!" he said.

"Who said it was fair? It's never fair when someone loses their kidney function. We've got kids a lot younger than you in the dialysis unit right now and it isn't fair to them, either. It isn't fair that I lost my husband to cancer ten years ago when he was only thirty-two, but I went on and I lived. Yes, life has dealt you a nasty blow, but you have to deal with it and not feel sorry for yourself because you have it much better than some people."

He thought about what she said as he looked at her steel-gray eyes. She met his gaze, then sat up and began to busy herself. Andy reached for a tissue and wiped his eyes and nose with it.

She was standing at the foot of his bed and looking at him as a smile peeked from the corners of her mouth. Softly, she said, "You remind me of my husband when we were in high school, maybe a little too much." She looked away for a second and moved closer. "You just need some time to get used to your condition. I know it's tough. I've seen many people have to deal with their loss of kidney function and they went through the same things as you are. Just give it some time. If you need to talk, I'm here and so is every nurse on this floor." She turned to leave.

"Thanks," Andy said.

"You're welcome," she replied before she disappeared.

Dr. Venkata's office was spacious, but sparsely furnished. He had to bring in two extra chairs from his colleague's office to have enough for Diane, Joe, and Serena. They already knew Andy's kidney would never recover. He had called them in the morning to tell them and asked them to meet him to discuss Andy, his condition, and what could be expected in the next few years. He had options to discuss with them concerning his care and hoped they would be open minded with the his proposal.

When they were seated, the doctor sat down behind his desk. "First," he began, "thank you for coming in on such short notice. I know you want to visit your son and I will not keep you very long. As I told you over the phone, we have the test results back and I see no hope for Andy to regain his kidney function." Diane looked on with red, puffy eyes. "For now, he will be placed on a dialysis regimen and a strict low-sodium, low-potassium diet. This will aid in cleansing his system and getting him back on his feet."

He moved from behind his desk and sat on the edge. "I have a proposal for you, an option I think you should consider." He looked at them thoughtfully. "I feel Andy is too young to be on dialysis and I know you will agree with me on that. In 1954, a surgeon successfully transplanted a kidney from a man to his twin brother, who had kidney disease. The transplant was successful and the recipient lived many years longer until he died from unrelated causes. Since then, kidney transplants have been very successful and people have lived long, useful lives because of it. Here is what I propose. I would like to put Andy on the waiting list for a kidney. However, since it can take upwards of a year or two to find a suitable donor, I would like for you to consider the possibility of being tested to be a donor."