All Comments on 'Frigid Air, Warm Spew Ch. 02'

by goldenpalomino

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  • 5 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
some revision

The author needs to do some revision all minor but big distractions while reading. Lines like "Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi!", are ones that appear like some grade school aged kid wrote it. Makes the story seem cheap and loses credibility of the passage.

goldenpalominogoldenpalominoabout 13 years agoAuthor

Thank you! I'll revise the story and make it better. - GP

BodyartistBodyartistalmost 11 years ago
Nice twist

Good story, nice twist getting caught,like that.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

Golden, you do not need to revise anything, you and your stories are perfect as you are. Love your style

JackVettrianoJackVettrianoalmost 9 years ago
very well written

I have to say this story has really caught my imagination and I find myself dreaming of this happening to.me one day on the slops.

I feel the intensity of it all and if feels so real making it all the more arousing. Thanks for the great work, can't wait to read more x

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A remote lakeshore in the wilderness, above the forest in an open fire watch tower, beneath a waterfall, . . My stories are mixtures of truth and fantasy. "A high truth, indeed, fairly, finely, and skillfully wrought out, brightening at every step, and crowning the final deve...

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