All Comments on 'Fun in a Jeep'

Reminds me of my own step-cousin. However, that won't give you any free points for spelling and grammar errors. Things like "loud" are not "load". If it were just one or two of these errors, it wouldn't be a big deal, but there are quite a few.

Your step-cousin sounds very, very HOT! Perhaps since she is not a blood relative you should also make a "little connection" with her so you are more than just step-cousins, in a future chapter to this very erotic story.

Enjoyed your story and look forward to more.....

Love panty stories and more.....

Funny that we also have a Jeep....

Great story, it read really well, I also must say it had my attention the whole way through. This trail of pre-cum confirms it. I hope this turns into reality for you sooner than later!

A dream come true. Wonder if she forgets her cheer pants ???

Fun in a Jeep is a short, simple plot that is over almost before it starts. Maybe you could develop the characters a bit more so we can get to know them. You also should read your stuff over before you submit it because you missed words or used the wrong one. Probably better than could do on the first attempt. I got the impression you could do much better.

Proof read your stories. Proper word usage makes for an easier read.

The way you jump from one verb tense to another is beyond distracting, but the far-fetched details are the story's real undoing. Nobody who is 5'7" and under 100lbs has an amazing butt. Nobody with any sense rides around in a Jeep, doors off, without a seatbelt. The list of errors is nearly as long as the story itself.

Don't they teach spelling and grammar in Indiana? Also, before he picked up Sarah, he took the doors and roof off the Jeep. All the action then took place in an open Jeep? In a park? Incredibly unrealistic!

Could'nt HAVE ..... not could'nt of! Please learn to spell!

6'4" and 120 lbs, that's like Holocaust level skinny. I'm pretty average and I'm 5'10" and about 200 lbs

Wow this story is HOT!!! I can't wait for the next part!!!

I’m 5’10 and 150 you’re just out of shape bud. If you’re 5’10 and 200 then you need to fix that.

You have a great story that seems a bit short. I agree with a previous comment about developing the characters a little bit. It would improve your story even more. You may want to proof read it a couple of times or get someone to edit it for you. You can always resubmit the edited version later, don't get discouraged.