Garage Sales

On the way back across town, I passed Dee's office building. It was 4:30 PM and there was no sign of her car in the parking lot. I guessed that she was probably at the grocery store so I decided to save myself a trip and have Dee pick up some beer so I called her cell phone.

"What do you want, John?"

"Can you pick up some beer while you are at the store?"

"I'll add it to my list and I'll bring some home but I won't be done here for at least another hour. So if you can't wait till I get home you'll have to go get some yourself."

"Oh? You're still working?"

"Yes and I have to get back to work now. I'll see you when I get home."

I made a quick turn and swung back around the block and passed Dee's office building again. The only car in their parking lot belonged to the security company that protects that property.

This was a new wrinkle. Dee had just lied to me about where she was. I was going to have to do some serious thinking about this. Now I was definitely going to have to stop and buy some beer.

*****

By the time, I had finished my forth beer I had figured out what was going on. Dee was having an affair. I didn't know who her lover was but my leading suspect was one Carl Wentworth. I had no proof of anything, only the lie she had told me about being at her office and the way I had seen her dancing with Wentworth the night before.

Dee finally came home at 6:30 that evening and immediately started to fix dinner. I was so pissed that I wanted to go out and start screaming at her about what a slut she was but I decided I needed to exercise self control to keep things cool around the house until I could prove what I already knew. To help me stay under control, I poured myself a large Scotch and drank it down in two large gulps.

As I felt the Scotch working its wonders on my brain, I went into the kitchen to try and make small talk with the wife.

"So, did you get enough sex today?" I said.

So much for keep things cool around the house.

"What did you say to me?"

"I asked you if you got enough sex today. I just wanted to make sure you were satisfied. If you're not maybe, I can help you out by giving you a little jump after dinner."

"What are you trying to say?"

"What I am saying is that you lied to me about where you were today. I was looking at the parking lot at your office when I called you and you said you were still working. Your car was not in the lot."

I could have sworn that I saw a smirk cross Dee's face. It lasted only a second but it was there.

"I said I was working. I never said I was in my office," Dee countered.

"Then where were you?"

"I was at Carol's house working on the presentation I have to give next week?"

"Good. So if I call Carol she will back up your story?"

"She would if she was home. The reason I had to work with her today was that she and her husband were leaving to go to Europe tonight. They are on their way to New York right now to catch their flight to Rome. She'll be gone two weeks but you can talk to her when she gets back."

That round went to Dee. I knew she was lying but I couldn't prove anything. I did say I wanted to keep things cool. Well, I certainly succeeded. Things were not only cool; they were positively frigid in our house for the next two weeks.

*****

That brings us back to the night before my garage sale adventure. It was another Friday night and, as I getting ready to leave work, Dee called me.

"I am stopping at the Brass Rail with my friends tonight," she said.

"Do you want me to meet you there?" I asked hopefully.

"No. I just wanted to tell you so that you wouldn't come there and bother me. Don't wait up for me either. I will probably be quite late getting home tonight."

I didn't respond. I just put the phone down. I spent the next hour and a half just sitting in my office trying to decide what to do. Should I go see what she is up to and confront her? How would that work? Make a scene in front of her friends and coworkers? That would never help my cause. Maybe I should sit outside the Brass Rail in my car and wait for her to come out and follow her to see where she goes.

In the end I decided to just go to the Brass Rail and peek in the back room to see if she was with Wentworth. If she were, that would be all I needed to know.

*****

When I got to the Brass Rail I stood near the doorway to the back room trying to peek in without being seen. Most of her crowd was sitting around the tables. Dee wasn't sitting next to Carl Wentworth but I wasn't sure if that meant she wasn't with him or not. I was leaning into the room trying to get a better look when Dee suddenly looked in my direction. I jumped back as quickly as I could and stayed out of view for a minute and then peek into the room again. It appeared that Dee had not seen me. I watched as she stood up and took Mr. Wentworthless by the hand and dragged him out to the dance floor.

That was all I needed to see. I knew that our marriage was probably over but I didn't know what to do about it. I ended up going home and drinking myself to sleep."

I have no idea what time Dee came home that night but I know what time she got up. Dee got out of bed at 7:00 AM and went to take a shower. I thought about going back to sleep but felt the sudden urge to get up and go to some garage sales.

I was on my second cup of coffee when Dee came downstairs.

"You look like shit," she said.

"Gee, thanks. Just what every guy wants to hear from his wife."

"What are you going to do today?" she asked in a tone that sounded almost friendly.

"I thought I might take in some garage sales."

"Jesus, garage sales? Again? Don't bring home any more crap that we don't need," Dee said while laughing.

I wondered if Dee was suddenly trying to play up to me? Did she know that I saw her with her boyfriend the previous evening?

Dee looked like she was dressed to go out again and I wondered if she was planning on spending another day with her lover.

"Looks like you are planning to go out somewhere today. Are you planning to go see your boyfriend, Carl Wentworth, again today?"

I noticed the momentary look of worry on Dee's face when I mentioned her boyfriend's name.

"I do not have a boyfriend. Carl is just a work associate," Dee said.

"I saw the two of you together last night. You two looked like more than just friends when I saw you."

Dee was smiling now. "So, you spied on me last night. Well, I danced with Carl a few times but we are not even friends. He is just someone I work with. Besides he's married."

"So he's married. What does his being married have to do with anything? You're married and it doesn't stop you from messing around," I said.

"Listen to who's talking. We know that you have been putting your dick where it doesn't belong so I don't think you should be accusing me of anything."

"You only think you know that. I didn't touch that barmaid. I would never cheat on you and besides, I was too drunk to do anything that night."

"That's what you always say."

"You still didn't answer my question. Are you going to see Carl?"

"No. I am going over to my mother's. If you feel the need to checkup on me, you can call me there. I should be home around two o'clock this afternoon. Maybe we can go out to dinner tonight."

"Sure. Dinner tonight. Fine," I said.

Dee gave me another smile and then left. What the hell was she up to? She never lost her temper during that conversation. She had done nothing but bitch at me for the last six weeks and suddenly she is trying to make peace with me. I sensed that she is up to something.

*****

I left the garage sale with my box of goodies and went looking for another sale. I drove past about five sales that didn't seem to have anything interesting and was about to head home when I spotted another sale that looked promising. I walked up the driveway looking at all of the boxes of stuff they had laid out. I didn't see anything that really interested me until I got to the garage door. There sitting in the middle of the garage was an item with a price tag of $500. It was a brand new set of Taylor Made golf clubs in a special addition copy of the American Ryder Cup team's golf bag.

I actual felt as if my blood was going to boil. I gave those clubs to Dee to give to her friend's son so that he would have a nice set of clubs when he tried out for the golf team.

I didn't give them the clubs so they could sell them.

I looked around to see who was running the sale and spotted an attractive blond talking to an older couple that was asking questions about a chair that was for sale. I walked over to where they were talking and waited until the couple moved off.

"Do you have a question about something?" she asked me.

"Are you Sharon?"

"No. My name is Trudy."

Trudy? Who the hell is Trudy? Another twist. Dee said she was giving the clubs to a woman named Sharon.

"Are you selling those golf clubs?"

"Yes. Are you interested?"

"Can I ask you where you got those clubs?"

Trudy looked a little embarrassed by the question. "Some woman that my husband works with gave them to him?"

"They're brand new. Why are you selling them?"

"I am not about to let my husband accept a gift like that from another woman."

"Is your husband's name Carl by any chance?"

"How did you know?"

I told Trudy that my wife was the one who gave Carl the clubs and that she he lied to me about who she gave them to.

I could tell that Trudy was getting angry. "Please take the clubs with you. I just want to be rid of them."

"Where is your husband now?"

"He went up to Minnesota to go fishing with his brother and his father. He'll be there for two weeks. When I close up this garage sale my sister-in-law is picking me up and we are heading up to Minnesota to join the men. I can't wait to tell Carl I gave his new golf clubs back to you."

"What do you think he'll say when you tell him?"

"He knows that there is no way he should be accepting expensive gifts from other women so he had better keep his mouth shut."

I had nothing else to say to Trudy so I picked up the golf clubs and carried them to my car and headed home. Dee giving the clubs to her boyfriend was the last straw. She has been treating me like a pariah for the last six weeks. She accused me of cheating on her while she has been carrying on with this Wentworthless dick. Then to top everything off she plays on my generous nature to con me into giving her lover an expensive set of golf clubs.

By the time I walked into the house, I was livid. When I got up that morning, I had pretty much already decided that I was going to divorce Dee but after finding out about the golf clubs I knew that I was going to have to get some revenge. It was 11:30 AM so I had about two and a half hours to come up with a plan. I got my bottle of Scotch out and sat down at the kitchen table to plot my revenge.

After two doubles, I could feel the Scotch beginning to clear the cobwebs from my brain. I didn't have a complete plan as yet but ideas were starting to come to me. The first thing I did was to get the golf clubs from my car and bring them into the house. I set them in the middle of the kitchen so that Dee couldn't miss them when she came in. I couldn't wait to hear what she would say when she realized that I knew the truth about the golf clubs.

I was pretty proud of myself for coming up with that idea so I poured myself another Scotch to celebrate. I didn't have any other ideas at the moment so I went out to my workshop to putter around and kill time until Dee came home from her mother's house.

When I unlocked my tool cabinet, I saw the gun box and remembered the .38.

"This would be a good time to see if this thing works," I said to myself. I was a little embarrassed when I realized I had said it out loud.

"Now she's fuckin got me talking to myself," I said, out loud again.

I went out to my car a retrieved the six thirty-eight caliber bullets Al had given me. Then I picked up the gun and a couple of empty beer cans and carried them out into the woods behind the house. I put the cans in the crotch of a tree and backed off about twenty-five feet. I opened the cylinder and put one bullet into the gun. Then I closed the cylinder and rotated it around until the chamber with the bullet in it was lined up with the hammer. I aimed the gun at the one of the beer cans and prepared myself for the noise and the recoil. I took a deep breath and pulled the trigger.

"Click."

The gun didn't fire. I looked at the gun and saw that the chamber with the bullet in it wasn't aligned with the hammer. "Must have moved on me," I thought. So I lined the loaded chamber up with the hammer again, took a deep breath and pulled the trigger.

"Click."

"Shit."

I removed the bullet and examined the gun. I pulled the trigger a couple of times. As I did, I saw that the cylinder rotated one position clockwise as I pulled the trigger.

"Idiot."

I reloaded the chamber and rotated the cylinder so that the loaded chamber was one space to the left of the hammer position. I aimed at the beer can and pulled the trigger.

"BANG!"

My ears were ringing, my fingers were tingling and the beer can was still sitting in the crotch of the tree unmarked. I had no idea where the bullet had gone. I guessed that I must have closed my eyes when I pulled the trigger.

I put two more bullets into the gun and fired two more shots at the cans. Although I managed to keep my eyes open for both shots the results were the same. I did manage to see where the bullets hit. I missed the cans by at least ten inches. One went to the left and the other was too high.

My ears were still ringing when I went back into the garage. I removed the empty cartridges from the gun and put it back into the box. Then I went back into the house and poured myself another Scotch and got a beer chaser. As I sat enjoying the clarity of thinking that comes from a well-lubricated brain, I started to develop a fantasy.

I started thinking how Dee would react if I shot her lover. It would be fun to watch her suffer the pain of knowing it was her fault. The problem with that would be that I would never be able to get away with it. The cops would know that I did it almost immediately. I would hate going to jail. Maybe I would then kill myself. That would teach her. I liked the idea. I would kill Mr. Wentworthless and then tell Dee I did it. Then while she is trying to deal with that I would tell her that I am going to kill myself too and it is all her fault. I could put the gun in my mouth and blow the back of my head off right in front of her. Let her live with that.

I grabbed myself another beer as I thought about the pros and cons of that idea. I could only find two things wrong with the plan. The first was that I was not a killer and the second was that I didn't want to die. The only good part of the idea was that Dee would really suffer. I wished that I could make her feel that bad. If only there was a way to do it without having to kill anyone and without having to die myself.

As I was finishing my beer it came to me. I had everything I needed to really get her. My parting shot was going to be something she would never forget. I looked up at the clock as I got another beer from the fridge. It was 1:00 PM. I had one hour to prepare.

*****

At 2:15 I heard the garage door open and Dee's car pulling in. When she came into the kitchen I was sitting at the table facing her. Dee was carrying what appeared to be a garment bag from Nordstrom's and she had a big smile on her face.

"I picked up a sexy little black dress to wear when we go out to dinner tonight," she said as she entered the room.

"That's nice," I said.

When she saw the bottle of Scotch sitting on the table in front of me, she said, "I hope you haven't been drinking all afternoon."

"Not all afternoon," I said.

Then she saw the golf clubs. "What are those clubs doing in the kitch...?"

She stopped talking and her mouth seemed to hang half opened as she realized that they were the clubs she had given to her lover boy.

"Imagine my surprise when I found these clubs at a garage sale this morning," I said.

"Would it be too much to ask you to explain how your fuck buddy Carl ended up with the clubs that were supposed to be for your friend's son?"

"I can explain," she started.

"Actually you don't need to because it is no longer important to me," I said and then I lifted the .38 from my lap and laid it on the table in front of me.

"What are you doing with that gun?"

"Taking care of business. You may be interested to know that good old Carl protected your reputation right up till the very end before he admitted that you were his lover. I think you would have been proud of him," I said.

Dee's face went white and her lips began to quiver. "Lover? What have you done?"

"I took your lover for a little ride. We had a little chat and then I put him out of my misery so to speak. They won't be finding his body for a long time."

"Oh, my God! No! God, no!" Dee began screaming. "This wasn't supposed to happen. Please, God, no!"

I have to admit that I almost felt bad for her but I wasn't done yet. In as pathetic a voice as I could fake, I said, "I wanted to kill you too but I just can't do it. I guess I still love you too much. I've destroyed everything now. The police will be looking for me soon and I just can't deal with that. I just don't see any other way out of this."

"No. No, please don't."

I started waving the gun around to help me make my point. "Unless you want to watch me do this, you better leave right..."

"BANG!"

The noise in the kitchen was much louder that it had been out in the woods. I looked in the direction that the gun was pointing and said, "Oops. You'll have to get that hole patched. Sorry."

Dee looked at the wall and saw the bullet hole I was looking at. She looked absolutely terrified.

"John. Please put the gun down before someone gets hurt."

"Haven't you been listening? Someone already has been hurt. Now I have to do what's right. Give me your cell phone," I said.

"Why?"

"Just give me your fucking cell phone," I shouted.

Dee pulled the phone out of her purse and put it on the table.

"Good. Now you can't call anyone. Now get the hell out of here."

"I am not leaving so just put that gun down," she said.

"Don't go getting all brave on me. I am still not sure I won't decide to kill you too so just get the fuck out of here now."

"Please don't do this," she pleaded.

"Just go or you will get my brains all over your new dress."

Dee finally gave up and left. I heard the tires squeal as she raced out of the driveway. I figured it would take at least five minutes for Dee to get to a phone and another five minutes for the police to respond leaving me ten minutes to clean up. I started by opening the kitchen windows to get the smell of the burnt gun power out of the room. Then I wiped the kitchen table with lemon scented cleaner and sprayed some air freshener in the room. Then I went over to the wall and removed the bullet hole decal I had put there. I had removed the slug from one of the cartridges and used that to make Dee think I had actually fired the gun. I put the Scotch away and put Dee's cell phone in the charger. I put the golf clubs in the garage and took one last look around.

I took the gun and the slug that I had removed from the cartridge and left the house through the back door locking at as I left. I cut through the woods and tossed the gun, the slug, the used brass, and the two remaining bullets into the pond. I continued through the woods and came out on a road that ran behind the property where I had parked my car earlier.

As I started the car and got ready to leave, I could hear the police sirens off in the distance. I knew I was going to have to get out of town for a while but I was a little too drunk to start a road trip so I drove across town to an old motel where I knew I could get a room without needing to use a credit card. I was just going to have to stay out of sight until the Wentworth family either came back from their vacation or the cops found out where they were. That would be two weeks at the most.