Garage Sales

I sat in my motel room until the six o'clock news was over because I wanted to see if my little stunt made the news but it didn't.

I laughed to myself as I pictured the scene at the house when Dee came back with the police and they didn't find my body, no hole in the wall or anything else that would corroborate the story she told them. Would they then believe her when she told them that I had killed Carl Wentworth and hid the body where it wouldn't be found for a long time? Poor girl, they might think she's crazy. Maybe, when they can't find me, they will think that she did away with me.

It was with those happy thoughts in my mind that I walked the five blocks to Cody's Tap Room. It was just after seven o'clock that I sat down and ordered a beer. The place was just starting to get busy so I had to wait a few minutes before Cody could bring me my beer. While I was waiting, I saw Kate delivering drinks to a table across the room. For a moment, I thought that maybe I should make a pass at her but then decided not to. I just couldn't imagine spending an evening with someone with the IQ of a garden gnome.

Later, as I was drinking my beer and watching a ball game on the television, I felt a pair of small hands on my shoulders. As I turned my head to see who it was, Kate kissed me on the cheek.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"I am just glad to see you. It's been six weeks. I was beginning to think that you lied when you told me you would be back to see me again."

I shook my head a little, not understanding what she was talking about.

"I get off at nine o'clock tonight. This time we can go back to my apartment and do it in my bed. Last time was great but I really don't like fucking in the lady's room."

"Oh, God" I thought. I did fuck her in the lady's room that night. Dee knew the truth and I kept denying it because I just didn't remember. No wonder she was fucking around with Wentworth. She was probably sick of me. Then I remember the smile she had on her face when she came into the house earlier. She said that she bought a sexy black dress to wear out to dinner. She was trying to fix things between us. I guessed that I fucked that up. There was no way back from what I had done to her. Now I was going to have to figure out what to do about Kate.

I looked down at the beer in front of me and finally got some clarity in my thinking. I finally realized that the big problem in my marriage wasn't Dee. I was looking at the cause of that problem. It was time to fix my life as best I could.

I took Kate aside and told her the truth. That I was so drunk the night we did it in the lady's room that I didn't remember it. I told her that it may have destroyed my marriage and I had no idea what to do about that.

Beautiful Kate, being the deep thinker that she was said, "We don't have to go back to my apartment; we can do it in the lady's room again if you want."

"Thanks for the offer, Kate, but I think I had better leave."

*****

I had walked about two blocks toward my motel when I heard a voice behind me and felt something cold pressed against the left side of my head.

"Don't be stupid, man. Just give me your wallet."

The gun was pressed so hard against my head that I had to turn my head to the right to relieve some of the pain. Suddenly it felt like my head exploded and then nothing.

*****

I opened my eyes and all I saw was white. I wondered for a moment if I was dead but the dull pain in my head told me I wasn't. I tried to move but I couldn't lift my hands.

I heard someone walking across the room and then a voice whispering, "He's awake."

It seemed that within seconds there were maybe three people standing around me. When I couldn't see any faces, only shadows, I realized that my eyes were covered with gauze.

"I'm Dr. Richardson. How are you feeling?"

"I don't know. What happened to me and where am I?" I asked.

"You're in Memorial Hospital recovering from a gunshot wound to the head."

"Who shot me?"

"You don't remember?"

"I remember someone putting a gun to my head but I don't know who it was."

"Are you sure you don't remember?" This was a different man's voice.

'Of course I am sure. What this all about?"

"We found you laying in an alley with a gun in your hand. So you don't remember shooting yourself."

"What the hell are you talking about? I didn't shoot myself. Some guy was robbing me. He put the gun to my head and told me to give him my wallet. That's the last thing I remember."

"You didn't have a wallet on you when you were found," the voice said.

"Of course not. Whoever shot me took my wallet," I said as I began losing patience with this asshole.

"Mr. Wilson," the voice said. "I am Detective Monroe and I need to ask you some more questions if I may."

"Go ahead. It seems that you plan to ask them whether I say it's okay or not."

"Did you tell your wife that you were going to kill yourself today?"

"Shit. What?" I wondered how much trouble I was in. "I didn't exactly say I was going go kill myself."

"Well, then what exactly did you say to your wife?"

"I don't remember the exact words I used," I said trying not to lie anymore that absolutely necessary.

"Mr. Wilson, would you say that what you told you wife might have led her to believe that you might be considering suicide?"

There was no way to get out of this by lying. "I suppose she could have gotten that impression."

"Don't you think it is a pretty big coincidence that after telling your wife you are going to kill yourself that you end up lying in an alley with a gunshot wound to the head and a gun in your hand?"

"That is exactly what it is, a coincidence. I was robbed. Whoever robbed me wanted it to look like a suicide so that no one would think to cancel my credit cards. Some asshole is out there right now running up my credit cards to the max."

"Mr. Wilson, where is Carl Wentworth?"

"Wentworth? He is on a fishing vacation in Minnesota."

"And you know that how?"

"His wife told me."

"I am going to check that out and then I'll be back," Detective Monroe said.

After the detective left, Dr. Richardson stayed behind to talk to me.

Mr. Wilson, your injuries aren't really all that serious. It appears that you turned your head just as the gun fired. This kept the bullet from penetrating into your skull. The bullet just cut a path thorough the flesh on the side of your head. The impact was sufficient to knock you unconscious.

"Why can't I move my hands?"

"Because we believed that you had attempted suicide, we were required to use wrist restraints to keep you from injuring yourself."

Then the doctor told me that I should get some sleep and he would come back later and remove the gauze so I would be able to see.

The next morning, which I guessed was Monday, Detective Monroe came back to see me. "We found Mr. Wentworth and his family in Minnesota just like you said. So, why did you tell your wife that you killed him?"

I spent the next hour telling the detective about everything that had happened over the last six weeks. When I finished my story, Detective Monroe shook his head.

"How much trouble am I in?"

"That depends on what the DA wants to do with your case. You did break some laws here but none of them are all that serious. What you did was pretty cruel and I suspect that you are in a lot more trouble with your wife that you are with the law. We'll be in touch."

*****

I was released from the hospital Monday afternoon. I was very surprised when Dee showed up to take me home. She didn't say a word to me on the ride home and I knew that it wasn't going to be any better once I got to the house.

As soon as we walked into the house, Dee said, "It's time to talk. I am going to make some coffee. Would you like something?"

I could almost hear myself saying, "I'll have a Scotch," but I opted for coffee instead.

I sat on the sofa while Dee paced back and forth in front of me. "I guess I'll go first," she said. "When I found out about you and that slut down at Cody's, I was so angry I couldn't think straight. I was ready to leave you that night. But then I thought about how good our marriage had been and I remembered how much I loved you and I was sure that you still loved me. I decided to try and save our marriage. The problem was that you just kept denying that you had cheated. That just made it harder for me to forgive you.

"It was awfully hard for me. I wanted to have you close to me and to have you make love to me but I couldn't get past the fact that you had cheated on me and, even though you knew that I had found out about it, you just kept denying it. That's why I didn't want you at the Brass Rail that night. I needed to relax and have some fun and I knew that, if you were there, it would just cause another argument.

"When you began to act like you were jealous, it made me feel like there might be a way for me to get you to understand how much your fling hurt me. Friday when I called you and told you I was going out and didn't want you there, I knew you wouldn't stay away. You didn't show up as early as I thought you would and I was beginning to think that you weren't going to come but then I saw you trying to peek into the room without being seen. As soon as I saw you watching, I grabbed Carl and dragged him up to the dance floor. The only thing going on there was me trying to make you a little jealous so that you would understand a little of what I was feeling."

"What about the golf clubs? You lied to me and give him those clubs," I said.

"That was a mistake on my part. One day at work Carl asked me if you could get him a good price on a set of clubs. He said he really didn't want to spend too much. I knew that, if I told you who the clubs were for, you would have said no so I made up the story about Sharon wanting them for her son. I know I should never have done that but I didn't see any harm in trying to get Carl a good deal on a set of clubs.

"Remember that you were the one that decided not to sell the clubs but to just give them to him - well, not Carl but you know what I mean. Then you just stuck the clubs in my car. I never saw them until Carl came out to my car to get them. When I saw them, I was surprised at how fancy they looked but I had no idea how much they were worth.

"I guess I knew something was wrong when Carl saw them and said, 'Holy shit.' The next day Carl told me that his wife was upset that I gave him such an expensive gift. That's when I knew that I really screwed things up.

"After Friday night, I just couldn't stand it anymore. I hated us not getting along and I hated seeing you so sad and I hated the way I felt. So I decided that I was going to try and fix things Saturday. I went out shopping with my mom and bought a sexy dress to wear that night. I wanted us to go out to dinner and talk about what was happening to us and then hopefully we would have gone home and made love.

"I have to admit that I did some stupid things during the last few weeks but I did not have an affair with Carl Wentworth or anyone else. The things I did may have been misguided but I never tried to hurt you the way you hurt me. I thought you could never hurt me as much as you did by having sex with that slut but what you did to me Saturday was unforgivable."

The tears were streaming down her face by the time she finished. Dee sat down and picked up a tissue and dried her eyes. Then she looked at me indicating that it was my turn to say something. I tried to think of where I could start and how I could spin my story to make me look like less of an asshole. The problem is that the more I thought about the things I had done the bigger the asshole I realized I was. I decide no spin.

"For the last six weeks I thought that you were the devil incarnate. It wasn't until the last three days that I found out that I was the evil one. You were right. I did have sex with the barmaid at Cody's. The reason I denied it wasn't because I was lying to you. It was because I didn't know that I did it. I didn't know until Saturday evening that I had actually had sex with her in the lady's room. You know that when I drink too much I tend to have memory lapses. When the guys were telling me that I spent twenty minutes in the lady's room with her and I didn't believe them, I just thought they were teasing me because I couldn't remember part of the evening. I never would have thought that I would cheat on you under any circumstances. Now we both know that isn't true.

"Something else I finally realized Saturday night is that I have a major drinking problem.

I am not using that as an excuse. I have to take full responsibility for the pain I have caused you. While my drinking is a major reason why I did such stupid things I should have known better. You should never have tried to make me jealous and you shouldn't have lied to me about the golf clubs but I know that I can forgive you for what you did. I know that what I did to you Saturday was horrible and you may never be able to forgive me.

"I guess it's my move now. You may be interested to know that I have decided to go into rehab for my drinking. Dr. Richardson has put me in touch with a good rehab center for alcohol and drug abuse. It's an eight-week program and I will be starting next Sunday. That will give you eight weeks to think about what you want to do. If you decide that you want to try and save this marriage, I will do whatever it takes to work with you to make that happen. If you decide that you want to walk from the marriage, I won't fight it. For now, I'll sleep in the guest room."

I waited to see if Dee wanted to say anything but she didn't. The tears were still running down her cheeks. I could not bear to watch her cry any longer so I went upstairs and moved my clothes into the guest room.

I spent the rest of that week getting ready for my eight weeks in rehab and staying out of Dee's way. Dee made no attempt to speak to me and by Sunday morning I was sure that our marriage was over.

*****

The first two weeks of rehab were very hard for me. I never thought of myself as an alcoholic. I thought my problem was just that when I drank I tended to drink too much. I figured that rehab would be easy for me. All I had to do was learn how to control my drinking. During that first two weeks, every time I felt a little stress I found myself craving a drink. It took me two full weeks to realize what that meant. I was an alcoholic. It really scared me to realize for the first time that I couldn't get by with just learning to control my drinking. I was going to have to quit drinking all together.

The third and fourth weeks were difficult as my resolve was the weakest during that period. I knew what my problem was and I knew what I was going to have to do to beat it but I wasn't sure if I wanted to beat it anymore. I screwed up and lost Dee so what else did I have. How would I get along without Dee if I couldn't have a few drinks to kill the pain?

One night during my fourth week, I decided to leave. Dee hadn't spoken a word to me since the day I came home from the hospital and I was feeling depressed. I wondered what the point of being sober would be if I didn't have Dee. I didn't want to be in rehab any longer so I slipped out of my room one night and started walking through the woods so I wouldn't be seen. I got about halfway out to the road when I tripped and fell. I had twisted my ankle and had to sit for a while until the pain subsided. That is when I started to think about what would happen to me if I left the center. Without Dee to moderate my drinking, I could end up just being a drunk. I'd probably lose my job and I could easily end up out on the street. At that moment, it became clear to me that I didn't need to get sober for Dee. I needed to get sober for myself.

I managed to get myself back to bed that night without getting caught but I got some curious stares from the staff in the morning when I showed up for breakfast with my swollen ankle.

By the end of the fifth week I was feeling stronger. I had begun to feel like I could live a sober life and that is what I wanted to do. In my one-on-one session with my counselor that week, he told me that he was very happy with the progress I was making.

Sundays were the only time patients were allowed to have visitors. I usually just stayed in my room since no one came to visit me. The Sunday after my fifth week I decided to sit outside and watch the interaction between the other patients in my group and their families.

It was ten o'clock in the morning when the first visitors began to arrive. When I watched my new friends greeting their families with hugs and kisses, I felt sad. I tried to cheer up by telling myself that someday I would have that again. That someday I would have some one that loved me again.

I was wiping the tears from my eyes when I saw a familiar looking car coming up the driveway. I caught myself holding my breath as I waited till the car got close enough for me to be sure if it was Dee's car or not. When the car pulled into the parking lot and Dee got out, I felt dizzy. My heart was pounding and my hands began to sweat.

Dee hadn't seen me so I hid. I wanted to watch her while I tried to figure out what she wanted. Had she come to tell me she wanted to stay married to me or was she here to tell me she wanted a divorce? I was almost overcome by fear. I thought about running back to my room and hiding but I knew I was going to have to face her and hope for the best.

I stepped off the porch and started walking toward Dee. She was walking toward the main building and didn't see me coming immediately. When she finally saw me, she stopped and I could see her take a deep breath. I felt like my heart had stopped beating while I waited to see what she was going to do. Slowly she began to smile. Dee turned and started walking toward me and the smile kept getting bigger and I realized that I too was smiling.

When she reached me, Dee threw her arms around me and hugged me tight.

"I've missed you," she said.

"I've missed you too."

Dee kissed me on the cheek and then stood back to look at me.

"You look good. Looks like you've lost a few pounds and your color is good," she said.

"What did you expect?"

"I don't know. I guess I expected you to have dark circles under your eyes and a far away look in your eyes. I was worried about it."

I took Dee's hand in mine and we walked over to a bench and sat down.

"What finally made you decide to come see me?" I asked.

"I didn't finally decide," she said. "I wanted to come the first week but I was told that you couldn't have guests until week five."

"I didn't know that. I never checked into the visitation rules because I was sure you would never come," I said.

"I wasn't planning on coming but after you had been away for a week I realized how much I missed you."

"So, there is hope for us yet?"

"I hope so. We have some work to do to save our marriage but I want to try," she said.

"Me too."

Dee produced a picnic lunch from the trunk of her car. She had fried chicken, potato salad and a green bean casserole. She also had a jug of unsweetened ice tea.

By the time Dee was ready to leave, it felt as if we were back to normal with the exception that I couldn't go home with her for three more weeks. Before Dee got into the car, she kissed me. This time she kissed me on the lips with real passion.

"I'll see you next Sunday," she said. "Your counselor said that I can't call you but that you can call me so I expect you to call me every night before you go to bed."

I promised that I would call every night. "It will be the high point of my day," I said.

I called Dee each night and she came to visit me on the next two Sundays and, on my eighth, Sunday Dee came to take me home.