Gary the Obscure

Hogan was almost guilty of going over the top. He came home that evening and said, "I've arranged to be away for two weeks and not to take my phone. My partners can deal with any crisis. We can drive and I've planned the routes so we don't back track."

"What drive all that way?"

"Yes and think of all that time you being alone with me and enjoying my company with me having to listen to everything you prattle on about."

"I don't prattle."

"Then what is it?"

"I can't think of the word but I don't prattle."

Later Annie looked up prattle on the online dictionary to check for alternative meanings of the word. Oh god, alternative meanings meant the same thing, to babble.

They set off at dawn a week later and Annie observed, "It's dawning."

"It looks rather like it," Hogan the structural engineer said kindly.

He lost his smile when his wife said, "How many times have you ever set forth at dawn?"

God, not prattle when they were still hadn't left their street!

Well into the journey Hogan accepted he'd still be trapped and subject to prattle in an aircraft. However it would be shorter. Then again there would be more prattle condensed in that time because Annie was a nervous flyer.

They had an unexpectedly great five days with Gary, who'd taken time off to spend maximum time with him and his girlfriend would run the department during his absence.

His sharp-eyed mother said almost as soon as he arrived, "Is your girlfriend living here?"

"Yes."

"Gary is she suitable for you?"

"She's eminently suitable for our prime purpose of being together and that is to go to bed together."

"What if she gets pregnant?"

"She'll say, "Oooh, I'm pregnant."

"Christ Hogan, speak to him. It's like talking to a wall."

"Yes Gary, tell me where did you learn the skill to combat prattle?"

"I need a drink," Annie moaned.

Gary checked his watch and announced, "Britt will arrive within the next five minutes."

Annie raced off to check her make-up again.

They faintly heard the elevator doors open and Gary said kindly, "Go to the door and welcome her mom. Her name is Britt, not Brittany or any over derivation."

Annie opened the door and came face-to-face with a stunning blonde woman of Gary's age.

"Oh hi Mrs Gunn, welcome to our city."

"Ah ah Britt, please call me Annie. You are so beautiful."

"And you are so flattering. I'm so eager to hear all about you. I ask Gary and he's so typical of men, reverting under such questioning to answer like a child and says something like, 'She's very nice'.

"God men but where would we be without them?" Annie laughed and standing aside said, "Come into your home darling."

The men were on their way out.

Gary kissed Britt and said, "Dad and I are going across to a bar to give you guys freedom to talk but you are welcome to come with us."

"No thanks darling, Annie and I will have a drink here in peace. We have so much to talk about."

The guys bolted, leaving Britt to close the door.

Gary had to hug the tearful Britt when his parents left for their long drive home.

"Mom and dad and Evita just loved them and I love them," Britt wept after making her final wave in the breaking dawn. "When can we see them again?"

* * *

Late that month Evita made a bonus-winning decision. She made an appointment and called on the City Manager and reminded Mr Sharpe he and her father went away fishing twice a year in a small group.

"Oh yes, no wonder the name Elder sounded familiar. You are Ben's daughter. I thought you were at college?"

"I've graduated and work with CBV Advertising."

"I'm sorry Evita but we have an exclusive advertising contract with Williams & Steel. We revolve around the big companies and CBV had it three years ago."

"Yes Mr Sharpe and I understand that commitment. I'm here to talk about the City Council's lousy website."

"Lousy website? Our website was designed by our own IT department and is maintained by that department."

"Trust me Mr Sharpe it is dated, inadequately design and is so pedestrian that some users logging on to it will stifle yawns."

Mr Sharpe eyed Evita and said, "Trust you Evita? Can I trust what you say is correct? I'm not what you call... what you call...?"

"Not particularly computer literate?"

"Yes that's it and thank you sweet girl for adding the word particularly. Would you like coffee?"

"Oh Mr Sharpe you are a darling. I'm as dry as an old horse."

"A filly Evita, just a filly."

Evita returned to the office, nodded to her sister and went into Gary's office.

"He's not there."

"I can see that thank you Britt."

"Oh here he comes now."

"Boss you have a visitor."

"Thanks Britt. Oh hi Evita, been out getting your nails done?"

"Asshole."

He grinned and listened to what Evita had to say.

"What the fuck," he roared.

Britt came running in and closed the door.

"What is it, what have you done Evita?"

Gary hugged Evita and kissed the top of her head.

"Your sister has a signed requisition from Al Sharpe, the City Manager, inviting our department to submit a proposal for the entire redevelopment of the council's website to be reconstructed in stages to minimize downtime and disruption. The understanding of the City Manager is our proposal would cost the council no more than $200,000 to fully commission and would include us continuing a debugging program for sixty days after the launching of the final stage to be reconstructed."

"God we've never had a single job coming anywhere near $200K," Britt said.

"Well this work, if we get it, won't cost that much either," Gary said. "Evita just plucked a figure out of the air when asked to put a maximum development cost of the proposal. She thought of a figure and doubled it and then added more to be on the safe side."

"But we can't quote on figures plucked from the air."

"Britt thinks we can. Anyway at this stage it's a ballpark figure. The council's IT head will go over our proposal with a fine comb hoping to find ways to discredit us so our quote for the completed work will have to look realistic. But it's a major job and a real coup if we get the contract."

Britt turned to her sister and frowned, "The City Manager is a pal of dad's. Did you go to him and tell him that to grease you way in?"

"A pal of dad's? I wasn't aware of that," Evita said innocently.

Five months later, after much sweat and tears, the redevelopment of the council's website was completed within budget and earning a handsome profit for CBV Advertising. The two website designers brought in to supplement Gary's permanent team, had gone and CBV's board awarded Evita a $7000 bonus. Five months after that the city council's website won a prestigious award as the best council website for cities from 100,000 to 900,000 citizens and in turn the council presented CBV with its award of 'Best Service Provider of the Year', the only award received by the digital advertising department to date.

But that changed. At the next advertising industry's regional awards the agency picked up five award plaques in various categories, of which four were won by CBV's digital advertising department. Gary had been hoping for a boosted bonus but instead had his salary hiked by $10,000.

Gary realized he was no longer Gary the Obscure professionally. He gained his company's approval to write a monthly column on digital advertising for one of the leading national marketing magazines and interviews with him had appeared in two local newspapers had been interviewed on TV and radio. He'd also turned down three very tempting job offers.

Gary and Britt married that fall because Britt had a strong wish to begin a family.

"This is such an exciting time for me, er us," she said. "Your mother will come early so she and my mother can talk to me about marriage, conception and babyhood."

"Jesus, prattle," Gary groaned.

"What was that dear?"

"It's so lovely to receive such support darling. I need a beer."

THE END