All Comments on 'George and Ben'

It doesn't matter now but Ben didn't tell Kelly he was engaged.

This one is up there with your best, but why did you change to Ben being the narrator for the first third of page 3?

Nick

I have not read any of your other work, but they must be good!

I personally like a little more descriptive and more sex overall but this was maybe right for this story. I agree with the other reader on the change of voice, and a couple of word choices that make me think you haven't spent much time on a farm, but overall no real negatives, the story line and telling far out-shadow those little things.

I don't understand your use of Tags, I must say.

Overall, would be a 10 on a scale of 5, if I could

RJ

There is something "off" with this story. It seems rushed so that things were skipped and the story became herky-jerky. Good but not your best.

A very tidy story in the best traditions of the art.

I look forward to reading more!

73

HP

I liked this one but the speed of them falling in love was a little awkward, like weeks took place from the time they fell asleep to the time they woke up. Just a small thing in an otherwise good story.

Good story line but I felt that the courting could have been stretched out a bit. Jackie did not sound at all like a good fiancé and thus his ability to choose is put in doubt.

Thanks for sharing this very entertaining story.

I've just re-read this story (I've lost count of the number of times), and noticed a rare (for you) technical error.

The order of speed when riding is walk, trot, canter, gallop, but you have Ben cantering before trotting.

Nick

They had to be about the fastest 2 people on earth -

Both engaged (regardless of how reluctantly) and they both kick loose and get together while watering the horse LOL.

But around that is was fun -

and that is the way to deal with bullying assholes...ruin them totally....a great tale of love for them both and their horses...and children...