All Comments on 'Getting Closer'

Nothing in this story even remotely belongs in this category, although you did attempt to set up future chapters with the last line, "Hey, bro."

I seriously recommend an editor. The story is disjointed, with some sentences making absolutely no sense at all, and continually referring to the alley as "the floor" when you should probably refer to it as "the pavement" or "the ground".

The fight scene between your "vigilante" and the 3 remaining assailants was totally unbelievable. I tried to picture it in my mind, but couldn't; I don't even think Jackie Chan could do with one leg what your "vigilante" did.

Please, I hope you take this as constructive criticism. It takes a valiant effort to write a story, and even more so an incest/taboo story. I hope you continue to write, but have someone proofread it and edit it so that it would be as enjoyable to the reader as it was for you to write it. Remember, if you can picture what you write in your mind, you want your readers to picture it as well.

Good luck in your future endeavors!

While a decent setup to a potential story, where is the brother and sister sex, so he protected her and became her hero or knight in shining armor, where oh where is the sex. Just my opinion this needs to be lengthened by a couple of pages and a sex scene included. Yes I hate short stories that you have to go through multiple parts to finally get to heart of it all as I like to read I prefer they all be given to me at once and I can read them all together. Example even with made for television miniseries I have waited until the compete DVD or then VCR tape to come out instead of watching each episode spread over how many ever nights whether consecutive for the quote next 5 nights or the quote next 5 fill in the blank night of the week.

Given my gripe I actual do like your start just to damn short and hasn't got to the conclusion soon enough for me. Thanks

Bro deserves a reward… an affection then superb a incest that the sister begs… it will have for her pleasure an enormous tap with much of cum which it will thank you pulverize on its beautiful face and breast… made an impressive continuation…

I saw many flaws with this story. The need for an editor and serious proofreading is just one of them.

With that said, the story at the heart of this COULD be very good. Get an editor to clean up the errors and keep writing. That is how you will improve.

i always read the comments first and if a reader complains about inappropriate content like RAPE, BDSM or the like i skip it. i strongly suggest you delete this and either rewrite it without the attempted rape or put it in the nonconsent area where it belongs. GOING BY ALL THE COMMENTS THERE WAS NO INCEST SO WRONG CATAGORY USE THE CATAGORIES PROPERLY NO CROSS OVERS. YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE COURTESY TO WARN THE READERS IN THE SUBTITLE OR AN INTRO NEVER AMBUSH THE READERS WITH SHIT LIKE THAT.

iiiillllll....

seriously... A traumatized (fetal position crying...) rape victim has the piece of mind to say "Hey Bro"???

Standards "Bro"... Or better yet read any of the 4.5 and up rated stories here for guidance in how to write a GOOD story....

I wont say don't ever write again, but you probably should study lots and try again in a year or more...

Badly written, totally unedited and well off the beam of the supposed subject matter.

Go and read some real literature before trying to write anything more!

I had such high hopes for this story, it started great, sister walking home, rain, white shirt and all, but you done fucked up son. Try a rewrite from just before she enters the alley, maybe you can make a silk purse out of a sows ear.

EPIC FAIL!!!!! EPIC FAIL!!!!!!!!!! EPIC FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I enjoyed the story. Please keep writting l'm looking forward to part 2.

Too much violence. For me, sex and violence do NOT go together. Also, learn how to use an apostrophe properly.

you have a great set up but it feels like half a story none the less please write a second one I have faith that you will make a great story

some people like a little non consent/reluctance but that was all out violence not my taste so i wont say good or bad i just wont read it i stopped less than half way

The grammar is so atrocious that this is almost impossible to read. Find a literate editor.

This was under the incest catagory? Where is the incest? Lame!

where's the story????????

please write more and soon!!

That would have been a good story. Kind like " a guy walks into a bar with a chicken on his head..." then nothing else. Lame at best. Finish it before posting.

OK, not really sure where this was going when I started reading, felt like that at the end as well. Where's the story? You can't just throw hundreds of words into a bucket and hope they fall into a story, but it looks like you tried.

Where's the story?

Thats was the worst story ever actually it wasn't even a story. What a waste of 3 minutes.

I thought it was a very good start please finish it. For get the negative comments. If they don't like it they don't have to read it.

Seriously,nothing more than a poorly written personal stroke fantasy I mean really saving the damsel in distress? Try better next time and try not to create a story simply to stroke your own ego.

Make a sequel to continue the story. The story is good but the problem is there is no sex whatsoever that's the problem this can be a amazing story so please make a sequel

Dear om2001 - I pray the (at times extremely negative) criticism offered by some (whether constructive/well-meaning or not) will not deter you from continuing your writing. With some editing to really fine-tune and polish it, this is actually an excellent lead-in to a longer story - perhaps the prologue to an intense sexual/romantic relationship between the girl and her brother. It's a good start and I have no doubt that follow-up chapters will make this story really click into place. Looking forward to see what happens to these two down the road. Keep writing!!