All Comments on 'Ghosts & Shadows Pt. 04'

As far as I know, the Court Appointed Support Advocate (CASA) program's rules and policies are nationwide with only slight variations in their legal rights by state.

Where I live, a Guardian ad Litem is strictly prohibited from giving rides to a charge of theirs, having them in their own home, or gifting them anything.

I currently have 17 minor children assigned to me, and I wish that I was allowed to do more for them, but the law is the law,

LOL she waas going to desert her daughter. She stood in front of her son while her boyfriend did his caveman act of showing him who owns her.

Sometimes you have to try not to twist what you see a person do into something other than what it is.

Gee I don't know why I did why I did I just got off on humilating you.

Why see her through these kinds of deep shade. Just do Mao or Hitler or Stalin .Tell me why they were really just tortured but wonderful beings.

Mary has dug a deep hole for herself. Climbing out is going to take a very tall ladder.

I say that Mary absolutely needs a BTB ending here, after everything she has done.

I know this will have some weird reason for what she's done but...I just don't see a way back from the hell she created for everyone. I don't mean the original affair.... Everything afterwards, including being willing to abandon her daughter to not be around him.

If he finds a good reason, it still won't ease the pain. Fuck, how could Simon and her daughter forgive her for putting not being around the guy she cheated on above being there for her dying daughter.... And who the fuck would NOT expect the dad to be there for the daughter....

This is going from worse to worse.

Ex-husband and ex-wife are obliged to meet.

She's an evasive whore.

He humiliates himself even more.

If before he had dug a mile-long shit hole now he was digging a deeper one.

Can he be more idiotic?

In truth, he is a limitless asshole.

When I thought a guy couldn't be more of an idiot, he goes and outdoes himself.

Incredible

I think I know where the story is going:

The asshole will beg for her to come back.

The bitch will act crazy, regretting what she did.

the two will cry together

and everything ends like a fairy tale!

What a pile of shit

And, more foreshadowing, more suspense, onward... thank you.

Fantastic drama. Emotional firestorm. Will anyone finally realize that Mary is in desperate need of psychiatric intervention? Let’s get her some help.......PLEASE.

Emotions galore!

This is getting better and better, I know it’s only a story but funny how some subjects have the power to bring some feelings out after years and years,

Why would Mary have her own key?.

All I gotta say after this part is Mary is a gigantic bitch.

Mary? Who is she? Does she feel that bad what she did to her husband or is she that much of bitch she wants him to be dead? 5 stars as usual. I hope the author starts writing here again or at least lets us know if he is.

Gail is probably the worst person in the entire story, but it sneaks under the radar. Her actions in Breadwinner and her vitriol here at learning how her ex landed on his feet is truly pathetic. The rest are all fuckups, but at least they have some redeeming qualities.

Why would Mary have her own key.If she was ever visiting ,her daughter and husband would always be home.

Remind, grandmother 60 years old

"It was 30 years too young for her, but she made it work by looking like a 30-year-old!"

omg. bull s*it

We always have to have a disaster of some import. This is it. Cracking stuff.

What low bitch Mary is, a real low bitch. She needs baseball batting.

Phil, please don’t vote. You’re an idiot

OK this chapter choked me up

She cheats on her husband, has an affair with the other man for more than months, and then leaves her husband for this dude and then when she comes back she decides to don the mantle of drama queen and our hero never actually is allowed to grow a spine and move on. What a shitty story even for the raac standard.

He destroys and takes innocent peoples lives from them as a job but won’t do so to a antagonist who could fight back. A total coward and worthless human being. His personality is extremely well developed for a fictional character, wonder who he was modelled after.

Oh, and I agree with the comment that the "Call this number" exchange was stupid. In an emotional state like that, Hugh simply would have ignored the other woman in the rest room. He was on the most important mission of *his* life.

Standard disclaimer: I have read the entire story (via Kindle, actually, not here), but I will try to keep the scope of my comments pertinent to this installment.

This is the emotional high point of "Ghosts and Shadows," the moment when forces beyond the control of Hugh and Mary compel them to reunite, if only briefly. This exchange quite literally brought me to tears ...

"I am going back to the critical care waiting area, Mary. You're going with me. You're going to get up and walk with me ... You don't have to talk to or acknowledge me. You can stand on the other side of the room, but you ARE going back now! If I have to, I will pull you by the hair or drag you down this corridor. Don't doubt me, Mary. You are going back with me ... Because our daughter may be dying. She may die tonight. That little girl may breathe her last. If she wakes up for even a moment, before she passes, she is going to see both of us together! If it's the last thing she sees on this earth, she will see us!"

It was a powerful scene that compelled me too — to read on.

I wanted to give this five stars, except for this:

HUGH: "Where's Austin?"

SIMON: "He's....my mother...she's watching him at her place."

Simon has a *daughter* named *Calabria*, you idiot. So I deducted a star for carelessness.

This is shaping up to be the biggest bullshit RAAC ever.

A childs pain sometimes brings ex-spouses back together. I would never get back totally with the cheating slut...

And that's hard to do

i dont think i can finish the series. too much of rich entitled assholes to continue

Not much to add. Enjoyable read if I shut down my brain. Your main character is truly pathetic, like most of your male characters are.

Reading this paragraph made me thinking of how idiot the character DQS had made.their daughter is fighting for her life and this fucker after 2 years meeting her ex thinking

"I followed my ex-wife down the corridor, watching the way her ass swiveled as she walked. I'd always loved that ass. Probably not as well as Richard Kelly, but I had loved it."

Come on DQS you are better than this. Have some respect for the time and place. A 60s oldee still think from his penis. No not acceptable.

This is the problem with all your stories.

I'm betting that you get called ASSHOLE a LOT. You're probably one of those ASSHOLES who never stops to figure out why.

The previous commentor is right. It's a STORY, ASSHOLE... a WELL WRITTEN STORY. Now get the fuck off this part of the site and stick to jacking off to the porn.

5 *s

Even bother with comments. This is going from bad to worse.

Trying to find this story.

that "call this number" bit was idiotic - sure fire way to get laughed at or your ass kicked in NYC. Maybe that kind of shit works in Peckerwood but not in the Big Apple.

LOL

Whats that crap for?? To tell us that your preference is cuckold/wimp??

Take this card and call this number. This is most important decision you will ever make. Just horrible dialogue. For a bad story. Was going to read all of it but am stopping here.

All I can say about it is:

Never heard of Paula Donnally?

Yeah, Mary's no awful, but, compare to Paula... might as well gave her a sainthood.

Just saying.

What a pathetic character this guy is. After all the disrespect she heaps on him he still, for some reason only God knows, cares about her. If it was me, I would be looking for any way I could to make her life a living hell. I mean, payback is a bitch, right?

Not for the simplistic reader though.

None of the characters are likeable. Not one. Maybe Simon.

She is the most despicable character I have read for quite some time.

Please kill the bitch?

At this point, I am convinced this is your best, and perhaps the best on this site.

the son was put in an awkward position. Mary is just being Mary. Hugh will struggle on for a while longer. The daughter didn't deserve to be the catalyst for the next few chapters of drama. The Nurse won't get her bonus because she called security.

Hugh should put it all behind him and escalate the relationship from employee to personal, very personal, with Gail.

Maybe if she allowed a more rational split, instead of not wanting him in the same city, trying to bar him from their surrogate daughter's wedding, abandoning her critically injured daughter just because HE is there, MAYBE he wouldn't be haunting her!

Why bother making comments, though. It's an old story and I seriously doubt if the author even looks at it any more.

That the author decided to make it seem like he was an 'almost' cheater, I suppose to take some of the string off of what slut Mary did. That is disappointing.

She haunts herself because she really can't stand herself.

And the woman I lived for - and then walk away like it was nothing -

Gail had a problem with her (in the hospital) humiliated low costed teacher exhusband became a succesful man with a trophy woman and she had to avoid them on the shipboards.............

now the GODS allow the passage,over. TK U MLJ LV NV

Here the future of the Breadwinner's scen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The excellent Romantic Revenge Situation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The master story teller of wimps and cuckold

Since he is such hot schitt and the best comes to save their daughter Mary sees him in a different light again as she already did years ago and wonders what a golden dick she gave up for a piece of crap and is mesmerized again by his corona and submits to his aurora as she did already once before a long time ago.?

The story really pulls the reader into all of the emotions that the characters feel.

Along with being well written and edited, the storyline is fantastic.

Thanks for the read

I don't care for either poster but at least Harry has some self control and integrity. duna is a pompous, bigoted, dim-witted, self deluded prevaricator who cannot shut up to save his life.

In the last SS06 story ... out of 60 posts by readers 14 of them 25% were by Duna.

I have never made 14 posts in any story. Sometimes I may make 3

even for a fucking idiot like you 14 is not the same as 3

now go away and let some other inmate in the county jail where you are staying use the PC for a while

Thanks for the nod.......Haven't gone anywhere, just don't find too much to comment on. No knock on anyone writing here. I admire anyones time and effort. Some stories you can just see it coming though.

Where did all this sites stars go? Rehnquist take a sabbatical? HDK is in here slummin with us................Maybe the economy really is pickin up and they don't have as much free time.

Yep...I wish some others were still around too. Bears hibernate ya know.......

Who knows?......those sneaky anons.

Anyway I'm all dressed up..........maybe someone else out there even shaved her legs......I still say the comments are as entertaining as some stories in here.

Talk about Duna.

You're worse. At least he can blame it on the language.

You are stuck with blaming it on the your personality and maybe the booze.

And three comments on a partial story?

Again worse than Duma.

Bet your monitoring the story's comments just hoping to flame someone too.

What a loser!!

I am sorry because I wanted to write this: The next 2 chapters is on SOL. After reading I bet there will NOT be any RAAC. I hope..... Once more I am sorry!

The next 2 chapters is on SOL. After reading I bet there will be any RAAC. I hope.....

It is impolite to post about sections of story posted on other sites first. Granted, I see no need to waste my time mentioning this to Harry...(Sigh)

We keep getting these side characters in here whom we don't care about. Hell, I don't care about Gail, much less his friends, the bimbo he's banging, or the doctor.

Hmm. Actually, I tell a lie. I thought it was very nicely pointed out that even bimbos have feelings. Hugh should feel like a total shit for what he did to that woman he banged in chapter one. And I appreciated the light touch done in portraying that. The piece of meat DOES mind being prodded...or in this case, taken for granted and used.

(Sigh) so let me compliment DQS for that. We had a name, some measurements, a few whits of her past and personality. It was like a Japanese painting, with some rather innocuous brush strokes creating (suggesting) an egret without the attention to detail that you'd find in a biological portrait of 18th century naturalists. It was exactly what was needed in the story...without large chunks of narration or clunky introductory dialogue to introduce. It served. Now if only we could have MORE of these spare diagrams instead of elaborate characters set up for other stories. Finish this one first!

(Unkind remark removed in an attempt to make myself a slightly better person)

Funny man, so very,very funny. Lolol.

Now if we could only get Jennybear, Kelly_Kelly, VietVet, Size14shoe, Victoriangent just to name a few to join us.

but seriously, as HDK alluded to, I need a character index of your little world.

don't fix it. That seems to be Q's theory about writing. We talk about his penchant for big titted women. Q likes big tits and he writes characters with big tits. We have one big titted woman in this story. He likes big cocks on younger men, not personally of course, but in his stories. (Q is manly!) We have not heard Mary admit, yet, that her boy toy had a big cock. The next chapter reveals that big money bank people don't mind getting into a bar room brawl and do not worry about bad publicity or lost teeth and broken bones. We learned there is yet another superhuman guy stalking around in Jacksonville, or was he mentioned in other stories? My J-Ville score card is filled and totally confusing. We have a final (we hope) cliff hanger. Some one or something walks into the honky tonk and Hugh is shocked. Is it Elvis? Bigfoot? Jimmy Hoffa? Debbie and her huge tits? The Angel of Death? The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? Mary with some big dicked younger guy? Some sexy French chick? One of the local serial killers? A member of the FDIC? A bank examiner. The Hulk? Bin Laden? Can we endure the wait to learn what steps through the door?

It seems that Hugh is not dead and Mary just doesn't feel like seeing him and barely explains it and Hugh accepts it. After all my hopes of a "Fight Club" sort of scenario, we get the fight without the club. Sort of like pizza without the beer.

Shouldn't you and sandusky be in a shower somewhere wrestling with young boys?

How many chapters does it take to cut Hugh's balls off???

I haven't posted here in some time. I'm sure I was missed. Ha.

I notice some other names that are missing as well. Quite a few actually, and that is a shame for this site. I was starting to enjoy a few regulars in the comments area, and behind the scenes as well.

Anyway this author,.....whether you like the effort DQS puts out or not, does something with his work that only a small few in this little world of Lit. do. Q does a VERY good job of making readers think and guess, but he never makes one side of the troubled relationship completely the fault or "THE" reason. It isn't cut and dry. If you don't have a slanted outlook, or jaded perception......IF you're not small minded enough to think everyones life should be dictated by your own life experiences, his tales can become very intriguing with the realistic idea that good people can do dumb and bad things which screw up their lives. The stories can be just a fun ride. Sluts whores, wimps, cucks,.... what crap. Some people ARE that way, but In my view Q doesn't write that way. His female characters can be slutty yet be professionals, (This is a personal favorite of mine) The guys can be over the top rational, bordering on wimp, but hard nosed hatchett men at the same time. He seems to write about men who after "landing" the total package woman, (intelligent, beautiful, successful on their own, independent minded) always seem to forget or get to a point where they lose the ability of how to communicate and/or keep up with their other halves. His guys forget somehow that they didn't marry some "little woman" who stays at home, makes babies, and dinner, and keeps house.

Sooo.... anyway, that doesn't mean the ladies in his stories should be out speading joy without a major conversation with hubby or preferably a divorce if they want some strange, but Q does have a pattern here, and he seems to have followed it with this one.

Minus most of the big tit lines.

Thanks Q

TigerDan

To the Scotch drinker - quite right. When these stories drag on a bit, I don't get too obsessive and go back to re-read. Details then suffer - I try to guess plot on emotional consistency.

And, for those of you who read broadly - it appears that this one, instead of being godly figures doing momentous things, is more along the lines of a sensible people who fiddled their marriage to death.

Oddly enough, I will probably like this one somewhat better than, say, WWWM.

Green-something

fat cock is smoked, cornhole rudely buggered, betrayed!

Now we go to thr next chapter. Just don't ask me why, though...

rest of the cuck types have perfected the "read ten chapters and complain about each one" system during their many lonely and sweaty nights flaming multi-part cuck tales. The whole self-hate and denial syndrome is a defining part of cukhood.

Critics are everywhere. dont like it? stop reading. not to your taste? write your own damn story. then we can compare.

Like other stories from this contributor, the beginning is intriguing, but the rest of the story doesn't maintain the standard of the opening chapters. This one lost momentum a lot quicker than usual, however. Another problem is that I find it hard to care what happens to either of the two main characters. Mary is, on the face of it, cold and heartless, while Hugh is an unconvincing character, rather passive and weak and not convincing as a man who has achieved great success in an unforgiving profession. At least this story won't be dragged out for months like 'When We Were Married.' The first half of that was so good that the descent into bathos and farce towards the end was all the more disappointing.

Can't believe chastisers are still reading the series, I guess they secretly like it. Then there are the absolutists who think the plot should fall within a specific theme and not the one intended by the author.

For example, someone thinks it's sad Mary used a revenge affair to hold one over Hugh's earlier dalliances. It may be pathetic in somebody's eyes but this is how the author has portrayed a realistic behaviour in this particular story. You can't expect a plot to satisfy every reader. So, if it's not your cup of tea, don't continue to read it.

I see another possible story with the introduction of another burned man, whether DQS1 writes about him is another matter. If he does, I would like to see some characters from WWWM make an appearance. Fingers crossed!

Also, hard luck to HDK, I liked your ghoulish theory! ;-)

about his story are still reading it at chapter 8. Compare this to some of the stories posted here lately which are pure trash. Stop reading if you don't like this story or this author's tales, instead of whining about it. DQS thanks for the entertainment, there are parts I have to wince about the characters, but it's a fiction story, nothing else. ML

Verbose and circumlocutory with a focus on maudlin ramblings.

turns out that Hugh has been lying to us all this time ... and 10+ years ago was a serial "ALMOST cheater".... and the wife mary was essentially holding it over his head

this is sooooo cheap and nasty and slimey. Its like one of those old fashioned english murder mysteries where Mr smith is dead only it tuns out that Mr Smith is not really dead after all and he tuns out to be the killer ..

gave it 3, would have gone 3.5 if i could. keep trying.

I commented on part 3 that I was suspicious of Hugh's motives. I was wondering if he was playing a very clever game, knowing that Mary was running from him but more importantly herself. So an additional motive for keeping her in contact with her kids would simply be that they'd continually remind her of him. He tricked her via Nichole into seeing him at the wedding and left a photograph of them all together as an (IMHO) unusual wedding present. On first read of this part I decided that I was wrong, but upon reading HDK's musings I'm just not sure now. I'm not saying that HDK is right re abuse or paranoia, but that his motives are not as pure as the snow since she left.

To FD45 I understand your frustration, I feel it too. But, hey, aren't we all having fun trying to predict what's coming down the line?

To ejhgg: I concur. Too much filler, but I wonder is the conversation with Gail supposed to give Hugh/us some insight into Mary's behaviour.

To Harry: you got it right. But why are we surprised about the cliche? It happens so much in real life - that divorced people with children are continously thrown together by funerals, weddings, christenings etc - that we shouldn't be surprised that it's a common occurence in stories.

To green117: are you serious man? Richard Kelly was 45 years old at the time Mary was with him. Would mean that Mary (at college) was almost engaged to a 8 or 9 or 10 year old!

To HDK: It really would be cool if Hugh is a ghost (dead cold in fact). On the other hand I can't imagine how Q could begin to reconcile that! It really would be fabulous.

For myself, I continue to believe, as others have stated, that Mary is desperately trying to forget Hugh; to forget about her previous life. She has now ran from him in reality twice. Hugh finally cornered her and now she is forced to acknowledge him.

I think the final remark - 'you are the ghost' is just metaphorical. Hugh is haunting her dreams and memories, and now her reality. She's tried and failed and now she must deal with him, finally.

As for where it's going? I give up.

To Q: as always, thanks for the pleasure.

Slan

I finally joined this site after all these years of reading. Previously posted as anonymous.

You were right. It was a tragedy. Didn't expect it to be Nicole though. I had a bet that it would be one of the grandkids. Too many scenarios leading up to it. But a tragedy none the less. Was actually hoping this didn't happen, but it does seem most authors take this route. Read "What Now" on this site as an example.

Do we finally get to the showdon? I doubt it. But in all cheating wife stories...........I always like to know the authors take on "Why". Hopefully it will be a new scenario I / we haven't seen before.

Once again we're at the crossroads. Maybe Nicole will need a blood transfusion and good ole Hugh finds out he's not the biological father. That's a new scenario I haven't thought about yet. Maybe Mary finally has come to grips that she has been cheating all her married life and Hugh has been an unseeing moron. That could explain unceremoniously dumping him. That would be an interesting take.

To DQS. A good read. Have enjoyed it so far. As I said in an anonymous post, I don't think it's a good idea to drag the eventual showdown out. But that's me. I have a feeling that it will begin at the apartment, but get interrupted by the obligatory "Return to the hospital call". Hope you don't kill Nicole off.

Hum...

Well, I generally respect HDK (don't know why, actually... do like his stories), but his speculations lead me to suggest that one of the relative joys of DQS is that the resolution of the plot isn't necessarily obvious - we like to try to outsmart the author.

Letting us stew in our juices for a few weeks builds the mystique.

Personally? Mary did, or suspects, or knows something so disturbing that her only option (to her) was to run. Perhaps the new guy was the one with money that went to Harvard... remember, this one is about the amorality of money... and he had a story about losing her that broke her (remember the scene where her son comes to visit - the new guy clearly had some possession issues).

Somehow "Nights of Cabiria" might have resonance, or not.

YMMV.

Green-something

(or, if you wish, the new guy had a big dick... DQS seems to have quite a thing about sexual obsessiveness... but, fer example, if she found herself going submissive then running from Hugh is in fact the only option... and makes the scene with the new guy more understandable.)

I'll make this brief & simple. Personally I don't normally enjoy stories where the wife cheats (cuckolds) on the husband, however, there are a few of those stories out there that have depth & passion that I enjoy. This is one of those stories. Up to this point it has been excellent & I look forward to more. Also, it's refreshing to see a story about an older couple with a deep past & history who have their struggles with life & marriage.

1. they are all excellent.

2. As HDK said, they are usually told from only one person's point of view so the reader doesn't know and can only "guess" what is really going on.

3. DQS has learned to use the first person point of view to weave suspense, mystery, and excitement into all of his stories.

4. He draws a mental picture in our heads about as well as anyone I have read.

5. Mercifully, while enriching the stories with imagery he does not turn into a Kafka.

6. Finally, he has a sense of the human soul and the torment of relationships that is deep, hence his story lines are convoluted and never seem to end cleanly. In short they are realistic.

DQS I sure am enjoying this and clearly even your most ardent critics are too or they would have posted once and then quit reading.

DQS's story, or the dialogues in the comments? We can be pretty sure that the story lines will come together (sooner or later) and make some kind of sense! We can also safely surmise that the comments will cover the Earth like S-W paint!

I must admit that I am hooked on ghost and shadows, anxiously anticipating each new chapter, and wondering where it will lead to next. You are a very gifted writer, and I hope that you will continue to share your work with us. As far as the anonymous basher is concern, I have to wonder if he really hates Steele's work as much as he claims, then why the hell is he still reading it? In case you haven't noticed, we are on chapter 4!!!

This chapter is written in the DQS style, and it holds ones attention very well. The story is now starting to come together and I can see a possible happy outcome developing.

The main question of why Mary would not have anything to do with her husband of 36 years, no contact whatsoever, is still unanswered. But at least Mary and High having met at a critical time when their daughter's life is at risk has elicited old emotions from Mary which constitutes a possible beginning towards a resolution of the problem.

I'm all for shutins having an outlet, and only the truly desperate read your posts, but neither of you know shit about writing or why this is or isn't a good story. Your abbreviated and truncated life experiences are akin to those of a 12 year old, your feeble attempts to qualify fictional character's actions through that myopic lens evokes pity and scorn.

I wouldn't care, if DQS invariable got the 2.5 star rating his stories so richly deserve. But inexplicably, people on this site seem to think this drivel is good writing. This is excrement. Even worse than most of his stories.

Some readers of suggested that maybe HUGH is the one with the "problem" ... that perhaps he is an asshole or abuser or uncaring etc. OK...Let consider that for a moment.

If that hypothesis is true WHY would that drive Mary to have NO contact with Hugh ever again... to the point that even with her own daughter fucking dying Mary will not come out of a bathroom where she is hiding?

and why not tell anyone what Hugh was REALLY like ? By chpaters 3..4...5... and 6 the son and daughter clearly are talking to their mother on a regular bssis .. so why would Mary not say ANYTHING to them about what Hugh was REALLY like?

and why would Hugh's bad behavior ... again assuming the hypothesis is valid.. drive Mary into the arms of a asshole so that she lets herself be openly sexually grabbed in from of her son?

THAT is the problem with this alternate hypothesis about Hugh. It doesnt explain the FACTS.

so your wife cheated on you for YEARS... then when you caught her she walked out and left ..got married .. left you hurt didnt give a shit if you lived or died and you wont tell her new husband that she is a cheating fucking whore?

.... SUCKER.....

and I made the "prediction" before the story appeared on SOL... and yes this is getting worse and worse ... its 8 chapters later and years in the storyline and dumb as fuck Hugh this so called brilliant banker still cant take a hint

Another great chapter to another great story...Looking forward to the next chapter...

tragedy attracts. TK U MLJ LV NV

This story promises to become a favorite on my list. I already want to go back and read the earlier chapters again to get that feeling of loss and anger that generates from the decisions Mary made.

I look forward with great anticipation the next chapters. I only wish it was a full novel that I could read straight through.

Thank you.

It's warming up to me but surely M. Night Shyamalan is bizarre even for DQS1! The other problem I have with this theory is that Hugh is interacting with living people (Gail, his children, the Brit surgeon etc) in the presence of other people? So I have a hard time swallowing the 'reliving the past' explanation.

The story is not one of DQS1's finest but it's significantly better than the outrageous tosh being uploaded everyday. MM, I'm looking at you!

DQS is excellent. His stories are among the best to be found for me. His way with plots, characters and dialogue are very good.

This story seems not as carefully crafted as some others. Particularly the dialogue, which is very hard to get right, in places feels forced and unnatural.

"You give loyalty to the people who give it to you. You heard my grandfather say that. He lived it! I'm going to!"

People don't talk like that.

Still, that's a nitpick. Most of the dialogue is good, as DQS usually provides us. The real problem here is too much filler. The entire chapter 7 serves no apparent purpose. I understand what he is trying to do: paint a picture of Hugh's life and personality through his dealings with others; present the reader with examples of pain experienced by others that are analogous but distinguishable from our hero's suffering.

It doesn't add to the story, in my view. We certainly got the point on these issues prior to this chapter. As a result, I thought chapter 7 was unnecessary and somewhat self-indulgent. Yes, you can write DQS. Yes, you can come up with clever characters who have had bizarre experiences. We know.

I look forward eagerly to the next installment.

still good strong writing and story telling

great job AGAIN

Man obsessed with ex who no longer loves him. In fact, left him because she no longer felt anything for him. What's the mystery and why is it taking the hero/fool umpteen chapters to find out he's wasting time and emotion?

Talk about a hook! Now I have to read the rest of it.

Last I checked, ghosts only haunted the guilty.

Great story :)

are not nearly as good as the story, but the ignorance and lack of self-understanding by the responders in many of them produce a tremendous challenge not to respond to them

Good writing, DQ!

d-l-k-

It is a story, and well written cliches or not, if I can feel the emotional swings of the charachters then you, as an author, have done your job!