All Comments on 'Ghosts & Shadows Pt. 05'

Nothing like a good old fashioned barroom brawl, looking forward to the final chapter.

Your characters have never been realistic, but your writing and story telling always made up for it. This story and especially this chapter(s) were just... Yawn...

Perhaps you could try changing up the theme of your stories. They have become repetitive.

but I didn't get much out of the climactic talk that your loyal readers had been waiting for. Really got nothing from it. It's sad in a tragic way: she was convinced he wouldn't forgive her-she couldn't forgive herself. Yet, one cannot help but think that he could have forgiven her. Or maybe not.

Well-written, engaging, provacative, and engrossing. You write much better stories than almost all the other authors in this genre. You have a special knack for setting up a story in sometimes jaw-dropping ways.

A few things that occur to me as I look over the entirety of the story. I cannot understand the wife. She presumably got over Hugh's emotional (and, let's face it, physical, too-even if it never quite got to fucking) cheating of a decade before (kind of late to plop that in, imho; had the author backed himself into a corner?). So it wasn't a 'revenge affair.' She had, for years, been on the road a lot. She was a sexy woman, and had been used to getting hit on for years and years. Was it that this Kelly character was so desireable to her? Was it that she was in a particularly vulnerable place emotionally? All that mystery is just glossed over. Seems like a missed opportunity. Or am I just not getting the point?

Further, wife talks about marrying the guy to her son, shortly after leaving our hero and shacking up with this new guy. The guy left his wife (for her?). Then, 2 months after moving in with him, it goes from 'we're getting married,' to 'we just realized we should be done.' WTF? I get that reality often pales in comparison to fantasy, but that was an extreme, and abrupt, change. What the hell was going on there? No answers to that question.

Also, the red herring of Kelly groping his mother in front of her grown son the first time son talks to mom after finding out about the separation/impending divorce. I guess that was just thrown in as a misdirection?

I thought this edition, especially the confrontation, lacked clarity and opportunity. You did explore her base feelings-she knew she did wrong, and believed Hugh could never forgive her. She couldn't ever face him, knowing that SHE threw it all away. She still loved him (though she doesn't say as much), and seemed to be fishing, in some non-verbal ways, to see if there could still be something. For him, though, it was finally too late-if he could have gotten over it before, it didn't anymore matter.

The rest of the tale seems anti-climactic, and irrelevant.

I give the first installment 5 stars, and the rest 4. Thanks for the efforts.

I guess I missed the last line. My final judgment was premature.

Sigh....I'll read on.

But perhaps that's what makes reading the author's work so interesting.

A very nice and well presented chapter.

Thanks for the read

This whole story is boring, it's heading the way of WWWM, you've lost this reader.

That's life, that's what all the people say

Riding high in April, Shot down in May.

Formerly married couple can get along as parents, grandparents. The semi reconcilliation as friends seemed awfully forced and shallow but that may be the way DQS want to tell his story.

But it didn't work particularly well for me. Writing yourself into a corner. A constant trap for writers.

First let's get through the good...and how it lead to me focusing on the bad.

The most poignant scene in this latest offering was Mary hugging herself, stating that the worst thing she was going through was the fact that the two could not offer even simple human comfort to each other any more because of what she did. She couldn't stand the look on his face. He couldn't stand her touch. I felt the pain in that statement.

But that lead to an examination of causes. She did this to both of them. To herself, just as if she was screaming for sympathy as she smashing her hand with a framing hammer for nine months. She could have stopped it. She didn't. So I felt little sympathy.

But I wanted to be fair. So I went back to chapter one and started rereading their confrontation scene.

***

"Yes, I've been meeting him - being with him, since three months after - you were right, about everything. When you heard laughter, that was him, I had just climaxed, cum so hard I almost threw him off the bed and he was trying to stifle his laughter. When you couldn't reach me, I was with him, all night, three and four times a night. I even missed a few morning meetings because I couldn't tear myself away from him. I think about him at night, lying next to you and I think about him when you're inside me. It's him I'm thinking about."

***

This is how she revealed her adulterous affair to her husband: By telling her life partner that she'd just clenched so hard from an orgasm that she threw a man off the bed. This was the sensitive caring individual, who 'didn't want to hurt him' but reveals her adultery in about the most incredibly insensitive and hurtful way imaginable.

There is no 'softening the blow' in this statement. That would be "I've been seeing him...and we've had sex a few times. I'm terribly sorry I did it and I am so sorry I caused you pain". You don't say your lover makes you a FUCKING BUCKING BRONCO!

The author, a smart individual, realizes this. So like a roller coaster in the dark, whipping you in odd directions, suddenly throws the 'he's been fucking...er...fingering around too...' This guy never did the dirty deed...but he doesn't have clean hands (I couldn't resist).

Which is bullshit That happened a decade before. There is a knowing statue of limitations on adultery. If you keep the lying whore around, you've accepted it. You can not throw it in her face in court anymore. She accepted it. She is seeking a moral equivalence in a way to paint her in a slightly more flattering light.

But we have that horrible horrible statement. We have her fleeing to her lover, even with the possibility that she knew from Gail that her husband was drinking himself to death in a dive. (Snaps fingers) THAT for her love!

Sigh---which leads us to HDK's score card. He missed one. The signature DQS motif, whom I believe took some writing lessons from Matt Moraeu: The Incredible Sexual Diss

Diane from "Moment of Clarity" flaunts herself to Bobby, rubbing against him in public and laughing at her husband.

Mona from "The Last Goodbye" who extolled the virtues of Norman and is happy to share her tens of lovers (Mona, if you get to an even hundred, you get a free STD screening at the clinic...just saying)

Tiffany from "Separate Vacations" who called her husband and had vocal sex for his humiliation and even in the midst of coitus when she supposedly wanted to make nice and reconcile with her husband, demeaned him constantly until pressured.

And then Deb. Every one talks about big tittied Deb, but that was not her defining feature. No. She had a cunt that was 5' 6" tall and weight 130 lbs...Every single conversation she had with her husband past the awards ceremony where she was munching all over her new boy toy was demeaning and condescending. "Hire someone to get laid" "You're not as big as he is" "I had men fingering me in bars" etc.

She was one of the most singularly unredeeming bitches in a pretty broad swath of stories (at least the realistic ones)

So...still not sympathetic to this cunt. She went out of her way in her conversation to kill this marriage.

And we didn't get much new information except that bankers seem to like to start bar fights and DQS wants to add another character to his plethora that I won't remember.

DQS is one excellent writer. BUT after the WWWM fiasco, I see this story headed the same direction. I can't forgive the author for basically sucker punching the readers by declaring the WWWM story done. Now this story... And it appears to be going the same way as WWWM. Enough is enough. Either post the whole thing and complete it or stop toying with the reader.

Because THIS IS a 'old folk ' story & I mean more then chronological age. The author has been playing less then stellar cricket with the late in the game disclosure that Hugh liked to dabble with the dewy young female junior execs.

This should have come out in the first installment when ' Contrary Mary ' was confessing to passivelly phone boneing with Shytown ed-dominatter. A pox on both their genital areas as far as I'm concerned. They're both players and they played themselves & the author played me. Oh well. So it goes.

Hook Hugh up with the round-heeled yet man despising, doxy Mother-in-law from ' Separate Vacations'. They deserve each other.

A special aside to the two commenters - you know who you are - feel free to confirm your lack of full lives by combining to outwrite the author's word count with your multiple inane comments.

I usually resent you two chiming in on quality stories but it doesn't matter with this one. Does it ? The quality / quantity correlation is lost on those as you. All I can do is refer you wankers to DeNiro's best quote from ' The Deer Hunter '.

Nick: What? One shot?

Michael: Two is pussy.

Nick: I don't think about one shot that much any more, Mike.

Michael: You have to think about one shot. One shot is what it's all about. The

deer has to be taken with one shot. I try to tell people that - they don't listen.

When DQS says in the Literotica "New Stories" comments that this is the end for G&S, I may read the rest of it. Stranding and deserting us in WWWM was a traitorous and craven thing to do. Like so many others, I don't trust DQS anymore (thank y'all for telling him so). On the other hand, good writer so I got sucked in again this far - but even naive, trusting souls learn eventually. Bye!

What drove interest in this story was the mystery of why Mary was so determined to have nothing to do with Hugh; that was the entire plot. Everything else was filler.

It turns out there was no mystery at all. She just felt guilty? (After rubbing it in to Hugh how good the sex with the other guy is...). She "couldn't stand the look on his face?" She couldn't forgive herself? After all that, it's just platitudes.

Gah. That's...a reason, I guess, but its not very inspired.

while a bit superficial in this instalment. The thing is that FD 45 has convinced me that all these works of Steele are about male humiliation and that should not be a pleasurable theme, should it?? I guess I will find out in the last chapter how Hugh gets back together with Mary and just what the ending looks like but I not sure thati will read his next offering.

Just bullshit piled up on bullshit.

Us readers were looking for the reason Mary left Hugh. It turns out that she left because she wanted to leave, more or less. That was a bit of a let down.

FD45 also makes a good point. I had alluded to it several times. That point is the big cocked younger and better lover. Every married guy in J-Ville has a big titted hot wife that lives for sex. Every husband has a medium sized dick, at best. Every younger guy has a big dick. The only exception is if the husband is porking some other wife and in that case his dick will be larger than the woman's husband's dick, but still smaller than what the porker's wife wants. She has big tits and deserves the best. Every unfaithful wife likes to point out to her husband that her lover has a bigger cock and is a better fuck. Mary, at the age of 57, decided to fly the coop, have random sexual encounters and avoid her ex at all costs. Hot sex means more than husband and family. It just seems like if she felt that way, she would have jumped ship ten years sooner, soon after her nest emptied. Did she run into the big dicked Doug, big titted Deb's boy toy, while she was in Chicago?

What the hell is the population of J-Ville, anyway? I will be there next weekend and will conduct a survey on just how many women have big tits. It will be unscientific, but a hell of a good way to spend an afternoon. If only I had a big dick! Perhaps I can persuade a lady reader to do an informal survey on the dick size of the men of J-Ville and compare married guys to single ones. Last but not least, we can try to see if there really is a connection between having big tits and wanting big dicked lovers and having small dicked husbands!

Wasted inspired writing on a "1'

I really don't understand the relationship.....sounds like they both screwed up and neither can get the other off their minds so what do they continue to torture themselves by being apart? Confusing and way to sad to be totally enjoyable, but to interesting to put down. Are you going to leave us hanging like you did before and try to make it into a commercial product?

Now we discover that Hugh is not squeaky clean and he has his own 'Ghosts and Shadows' that Mary knew all about...which haunted her, which could have precipitated her demise. That brings us back to the most underlying theme of LW's: No Communication. How could Mary keep his opposite sex liaisons quiet all those years, and not smack the crap out of 'Saint' Hugh? Then he gets worried she will spill the beans to their kids about him? Narcissistic in my opinion. No wonder he drank himself stupid in the beginning, he actually was the main contributing factor to Mary's fall from grace. Did you 'Finger that one' out yet Hugh?

Gail Hunt knew about everything about Mary, wonder if she knew about 'Saint' Hugh and his playthings? Also to discover that Gail herself was similarly treated by her "Loving Husband." Geez...

This whole story comes out of left field. Not an inkling he was cheating (I know he said he didn't go all the way physically, but the emotional can be much worse) on her multiple times before Mary did the dirty.

Mary finally had enough of all his mistreatment,except she didn't play around...she just did it and humiliated him like he did her. Hell, I even understand her comments when she told him about her liaison with Richard Kelly, I clenched so hard! Throwing it in 'Saint' Hugh's face for all the silent humiliation that haunted her for all those years. Yet she feels guilty for throwing away their marriage? WTF did he do???? What a screwed up couple. Talk about 'Ghosts and Shadows'?

What little secrets will we learn now that will completely throw a whole new spotlight on this relationship, that we had no clue about?

I look forward to the end...well if it really is the end...

Thank you!

M1

in some of your commentators. They have to rewrite it from their perspective and seem to think that writing nearly as many words as one of your pages will make it true. There is not just ONE response to each pain of betrayal that life sends our way, but many, and some of them are much better than the one we choose, so keep on writing yours, and many of us will very enthusiatically keep on reading them.

D-l-k-

Seeing DQS1's new garbage in the 4s across the board says yes you are!

Also, weren't you going to do a novel, Dani? What happened to that? I assume you got rich and famous and published, so why are you back here again?

This story is getting to be like a third place runner-up at the National Quilting Association show. A close up examination of each square shows fine needle work, good definition of materials, artistically assembled. But this is a Crazy Quilt. When assembled, each square is different from all the others, stitched together without consideration for overall artistic design and value.

When we read everything about everybody, it is not entertainment, it is boring. An entertaining story is when the reader is lead from one event to another, an event that has purpose in the overall scheme of things.

This author has written some great stories -- but not recently.

DQS: You are at the top of the pile of authors who frequent this site…and with good reason. Your subjects are interesting; your plots well thought out; and your dialogues are especially good.

One quibble. Your character Hugh is obviously a well-educated gentleman. He is used to social interactions with educated people and with those in high social circles. Despite that background, he has a problem in conversation that immediately places him among the grammatically illiterate: he confuses prepositions and conjunctions in one telling habit. Here are two of your examples.

"I knew I was hurting her but...I didn't have the...I don't know. I couldn't do it. I wanted to but I couldn't. I kept seeing your face in my mind when you found out, like I knew you would. And...!"


"I don't know. Wallinsky is supposed to be very good and, like he said, she's a fighter. I have to believe she'll pull through."

Those two "likes" have got to be replaced with "as" if Hugh is to have complete authenticity.

I pointed out in another comment that I thought that Mary left the way she did because she knew after 36 years that Hugh just didn't have it in him to forgive an affair - particularly one going on the best part of 9 months. What's the point in pleading for forgiveness when you already know it ain't going to happen.

Going to Richard. From her desperate attempts to deny the affair before finally confessing (as FD45 said, in the worst possible way), I believe that she never wanted to leave Hugh, but pretty much give it a shot as maybe the only chance she had left for a little happiness. Sadly as BTTAP said, fantasy and reality. It's a long way from a few days a month, nights only presumably since Mary was at conferences, to living together 24/7. In the end, Mary just wanted some young cock on the side, and got caught. We've read it before.

The callousness of her confession fits with her behaviour since: She wants to drive Hugh away, doesn't want him around to remind of what she's lost. Seems to ignore the additional pain and humilation she's dumping on him, but hell, we already know she's selfish, don't we.

BTTAP and another commentator have said that Kelly groping Mary in front of her son was a red-herring. I don't understand, can someone explain? If a red-herring is meant to deflect, what was Kelly's actions deflecting from? Rather it seemed to me to be a cold-blooded and crude statement of intent: She's with me now - deal with it.

Thanks for sharing, Author,

M

zero but I can only give it a "1". You made the protaganist a loser, just as bad as his wife, no matter what excuses he professes to make. There are questions that aren't answered and I don't care how you try and gloss over it, considering what she had done in the first part of the tale, there is no way he would speak to her. Is that why the ridiculous history of his behaivor was invented? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

So, it turns out that Hugh is pretty low-rent. And the ex cut him out because it hurt too much to see him?!? And he's ok with that?!? Total nonsense.

I don't know why some people on this site seem so devoted to the idea that DQS is a great writer. "Moment of Clarity" was pretty well done, I agree. But the rest of his stories are just bullshit about unrealistic, unbelievable characters in whom I have no interest. Every woman is clinically obsessed with sex. Every man is either a wimp, an idiot, or both. The worst thing about DQS is that he seems to love to tease readers with implications that a satisfying plot twist is around the corner, and then never delivering. Well, I've had it. I won't be back.

Ugh. Can I give it a zero? Please? I won't put myself through any more of this excrement.

Doesn't anyone here just get into a story in segments? Doesn't anyone see the angst of these people and the difficult issues? Are your lives so mellow that there is no effect? PIty.

...and I doubt that the final chapter can change that impression!

Between this and "When We Were Still Married" your writing seems to be an obsession with emotional trainwrecks. No one says life is all sweetness and light but, really, couldn't you at least have one of the characters have a decent day once in a while?

It's really petty and bizarre the way people get so angry, as if this were a personal attack on them. I've read plenty of drivel stories, but I haven't launched a vicious and unwarranted attack on the authors. You know what I have done? I hit the back button and chose another story to read. Grow up!

But I ,hate when you chop it off in the middle of a thought. Please ignore the ignorant fools who make stupid remarks. They wouldn't know a good story if iot bit them in the ass. Actually I'm surprized they can read.

brings me back.

GlendaFiddich-my use of the term 'red-herring' was not in reference to Kelly or Mary, but rather in reference to the author. It was such a bizarre element, it suggested a whole world of possibilities (the wife getting sucked into a D/S relationship, etc.). However, it now appears that Mary was just seduced by a younger, virile guy who pushed her buttons emotionally and physically. So, why include that bizarre plot element? Only to misdirect the reader, as far as I can tell (so far!).

One other inconsistency-Mary asks her kids to keep the news of her quickly-ended relationship with Kelly a secret from Hugh. The reason? She doesn't want to be with Hugh, she knows he still loves her, and she knows he will try to get her back. But....isn't that what she actually WANTS, assuming we believe what she is saying in this installment? She didn't leave because she hated Hugh, or even because she didn't love him. She left becasue she believed he would never forgive her, and she knew what she had thrown away, and she couldn't face that guilt/shame.

Once the Kelly affair was put to bed, and she realized how much she threw away for so little (and she was still haunted by Hugh's ghost), wouldn't she have wanted, if Hugh was willing, to at least attempt a reconciliation, no matter how painful the process might have been. Especially since HE CHEATED ON HER BEFORE-several times, in fact. In this case, the moral equivalency thing might have helped to both assuage a certain level of her guilt, and a great deal of his self-righteousness. Instead, she chooses to run to the ends of the earth and take drastic steps to ensure that he never comes calling. It is inconsistent, imho.

Of course, maybe we see Mary and Kelly walk into the bar and they never broke up after all. Who the fuck knows anymore?

I'll read on.

I have said it before, but this is DQS story so let him tell it. Some part require a suspension of reality, but it's just a story and I Like reading it.

The question is, what's going to happen next. I will read on...

like somebody wrote: it's heading the way of WWWM,

or another one : you wrote yourself in a corner.

and this is true as far as I can see. it starts again with filling chapters of absolutely trivial every day happenings. again there seems no concept, even the places are the same.

the good writing style does not help anymore after the wwwm experiance , where so many hoped that the story would move on but never did.

Have to say I never really considered Mary being a closet submissive. So I take your point.

On Mary's motives? HDK made a valid comment on first person POV that we can't always trust it, it's not omniscient. We only have Nichols's interpretation that Mary is doing it - avoiding Hugh - because Hugh still loves her. Even if Mary actually said that to her daughter we then only have Mary saying what she wishes/wants/needs to her daughter.

We already have Hugh telling us at the wedding that he couldn't see the changes that Nichole described. So we just have to mistrust opinions to a degree and operate on facts as much as possible.

Of course that would subtract from the fun of guessing.

Thanks,

M

In journalism we call "filler" as "fat." Filler being what you add to a story or news article whose only purpose is to make it longer. However, it adds nothing to it. Steele writes with talent, but populates his stories with "fat" that prolong the stories while adding nothing.

I too think that Mary and Kelly are in the bar.

HIV said in Part 4 that these chapters r would be a " cheat" and Dishonest. and he was damn right.

The author would have us believe that after going through approximately three years of time and 10 chapters... that somehow or another ...when Hugh was spending all this time thinking and analyzing and ruminating about what happened to his marriage... It never occur to him that he is series of almost cheating episodes early in the marriage might come back and haunt him.

This is contrived and forced bullshit. If DQS1 had given us some hints about Hugh's character then this would be a lot more believable.

Instead we are led down one particular path by the author regarding Hugh ... Didn't suddenly we find out that High is a serious asshole. This is really a big disappointment

In some ways this IS very much like a bad murder mystery but it is gratifying to see more more readers are not really impressed with this pretty bad story. As others have stated this is a serious letdown. The entire premise that kept the story together was Hugh trying to figure out WHY Mary left him and secondarily his dealing with that rejection and trying to build a new life

.

Learning in chapter 9 and n 10 that Hugh engaged in a series of NEAR MISS FUCKS with other women... undercuts entire premise for this story which is why most of the feedback from readers has ... at leats so far .. talked about how this is a disappointment .

Keep in mind however that it was back in the beginning early chapters wher MARY says... through the divorce server... that she communicates to Hugh that she does not ever want to see or speak to him again. She made that decision long before she realized she made a mistake with her Lover in Chicago.

So the argument that Mary could not or would not come back because she knew how much High loved her is just BULLSHIT.

This chapter "seemed" to address many mysteries evoked in this story and yet it read like it was just jammed together. Mary and Hugh talk and settle on their future relationship. Big Deal as this was the mystery of the story and yet story essentially said: "they made up...sorta." My quote not DQS. Everything seemed hurried and not fleshed out. Gave it a 4 pretty high given my statements but DQS sets a high standard and a 4 is lower than I have ever given him.

and it rambles from one thing tpo another

You do know that this is all pretend?

can it be impossible. TK U MLJ LV NV

Where the story is heading, a lot could happen. I had guessed that Mary was avoiding Hugh out of guilt (also explains why she was cruel to him when she told him of the affair, she was trying to have him drive her off). The fact that Hugh is not a saint shouldn't be a surprise, but there are clues to his past infidelity in the story, if you read it a certain way.

When the son tells Mary Hugh threatened to break off relations with him if he shunned her, she said "That is your father".....What is interesting to me is that Mary almost sees Hugh's dalliances as further proof that he is a saint, because he 'doesn't go all the way', which is interesting because most women would see that, rightfully, as cheating (sorry, teenagers and Bill Clinton might think anything but vaginal sex is "not sex", but it is and emotional cheating is as bad as the real thing). Most women I suspect would view his dalliances as cheating and might temper some of the guilt.Instead she sees that as part of his sainthood, being a 'straight arrow', and therefore she doesn't deserve him, etc.

I don't think Hugh's dalliances prompted her to cheat, I think Mary was feeling old, was feeling like maybe life had passed her by, and the Richard Kelly schmuck came along and lit something up; I think she also found out quickly he was only in it for the sex, that he had no idea of marrying her even though he left his wife. Maybe the incident with grabbing her tit as telling her that she was nothing more then his sex toy, I don't know (and hopefully DQS does explain what happened there). I don't think Mary broke it off because of guilt, I think she broke it off because she realized Kelly was a man on a middle age fling, as Hugh had done.

What is sad is Mary probably genuinely feels guilty, but her 'saintly' action of totally avoiding him made it even more impossible to reconcile, Hugh had to feel like she dumped him and treated him like shit to spite him, and even with her explanation that might be hard for him to swallow.

Though quite frankly, hearing why she did what she did, he should realize she still loves him, a lot, and also maybe, just maybe, has to look at his own past to find some forgiveness, as she did for him. Sorry, burn the bitch crowd, but both of them are flawed, and if the story seems weird, well, human beings are weird, they do strange things, they aren't perfect. I do hope DQS gives better explanations in the wrap up chapter about Mary and what she did with Richard, because right now it is hard to tell really what went on and it is a big loose thread.......what they really need to do is learn to communicate again, whatever they do:)

Where the story is heading, a lot could happen. I had guessed that Mary was avoiding Hugh out of guilt (also explains why she was cruel to him when she told him of the affair, she was trying to have him drive her off). The fact that Hugh is not a saint shouldn't be a surprise, but there are clues to his past infidelity in the story, if you read it a certain way.

When the son tells Mary Hugh threatened to break off relations with him if he shunned her, she said "That is your father".....What is interesting to me is that Mary almost sees Hugh's dalliances as further proof that he is a saint, because he 'doesn't go all the way', which is interesting because most women would see that, rightfully, as cheating (sorry, teenagers and Bill Clinton might think anything but vaginal sex is "not sex", but it is and emotional cheating is as bad as the real thing). Most women I suspect would view his dalliances as cheating and might temper some of the guilt.Instead she sees that as part of his sainthood, being a 'straight arrow', and therefore she doesn't deserve him, etc.

I don't think Hugh's dalliances prompted her to cheat, I think Mary was feeling old, was feeling like maybe life had passed her by, and the Richard Kelly schmuck came along and lit something up; I think she also found out quickly he was only in it for the sex, that he had no idea of marrying her even though he left his wife. Maybe the incident with grabbing her tit as telling her that she was nothing more then his sex toy, I don't know (and hopefully DQS does explain what happened there). I don't think Mary broke it off because of guilt, I think she broke it off because she realized Kelly was a man on a middle age fling, as Hugh had done.

What is sad is Mary probably genuinely feels guilty, but her 'saintly' action of totally avoiding him made it even more impossible to reconcile, Hugh had to feel like she dumped him and treated him like shit to spite him, and even with her explanation that might be hard for him to swallow.

Though quite frankly, hearing why she did what she did, he should realize she still loves him, a lot, and also maybe, just maybe, has to look at his own past to find some forgiveness, as she did for him. Sorry, burn the bitch crowd, but both of them are flawed, and if the story seems weird, well, human beings are weird, they do strange things, they aren't perfect. I do hope DQS gives better explanations in the wrap up chapter about Mary and what she did with Richard, because right now it is hard to tell really what went on and it is a big loose thread.......what they really need to do is learn to communicate again, whatever they do:)

Where the story is heading, a lot could happen. I had guessed that Mary was avoiding Hugh out of guilt (also explains why she was cruel to him when she told him of the affair, she was trying to have him drive her off). The fact that Hugh is not a saint shouldn't be a surprise, but there are clues to his past infidelity in the story, if you read it a certain way.

When the son tells Mary Hugh threatened to break off relations with him if he shunned her, she said "That is your father".....What is interesting to me is that Mary almost sees Hugh's dalliances as further proof that he is a saint, because he 'doesn't go all the way', which is interesting because most women would see that, rightfully, as cheating (sorry, teenagers and Bill Clinton might think anything but vaginal sex is "not sex", but it is and emotional cheating is as bad as the real thing). Most women I suspect would view his dalliances as cheating and might temper some of the guilt.Instead she sees that as part of his sainthood, being a 'straight arrow', and therefore she doesn't deserve him, etc.

I don't think Hugh's dalliances prompted her to cheat, I think Mary was feeling old, was feeling like maybe life had passed her by, and the Richard Kelly schmuck came along and lit something up; I think she also found out quickly he was only in it for the sex, that he had no idea of marrying her even though he left his wife. Maybe the incident with grabbing her tit as telling her that she was nothing more then his sex toy, I don't know (and hopefully DQS does explain what happened there). I don't think Mary broke it off because of guilt, I think she broke it off because she realized Kelly was a man on a middle age fling, as Hugh had done.

What is sad is Mary probably genuinely feels guilty, but her 'saintly' action of totally avoiding him made it even more impossible to reconcile, Hugh had to feel like she dumped him and treated him like shit to spite him, and even with her explanation that might be hard for him to swallow.

Though quite frankly, hearing why she did what she did, he should realize she still loves him, a lot, and also maybe, just maybe, has to look at his own past to find some forgiveness, as she did for him. Sorry, burn the bitch crowd, but both of them are flawed, and if the story seems weird, well, human beings are weird, they do strange things, they aren't perfect. I do hope DQS gives better explanations in the wrap up chapter about Mary and what she did with Richard, because right now it is hard to tell really what went on and it is a big loose thread.......what they really need to do is learn to communicate again, whatever they do:)

there is an uncomfortable contradiction here between Mary's stated reason to Nicole for not wanting Hugh to know about her breakup with Kelley, that she knew he still loved her and would try to get her back (implying she didn't love him anymore and didn't want him back), and her explanation to Hugh in this chapter, that she knew he couldn't forgive her and she felt too much guilt.

As for those complaining about the revelations about Hugh's earlier misbehavior...read better. It is discussed in the first chapter of the story, with Hugh admitting to the reader that he had a mid-life crisis in the past that included poor behavior with women.

I have, on the whole, been entertained by this story, but somewhat disappointed based on the high standards that DQS has set for himself. A little too much illogic and sloppiness to really be great. I hope the final installment meets his usual standards.

Stop blowing your own trumpet. As for FD, BtTap, eeghge, glenda and all..I mean what the fuck is going on...I feel like i'm missing something deep and profound here but I just can't get on the ride.

Hated this story. But fair play to the author. Just wish the comments stop cluttering up the feedback page.

I was really enjoying this story & the start of this chapter was good, then it lost direction. Not trying to be to harsh, but it seems like the author just started rambling & the bar fight scene lost me. What does that have to do with the main characters? I'm hoping the next chapter stays a little more on point, but I have the feeling the author is trying to allow the years to drift by while writing about any event that happened in between.

We learn that he had kind of cheated but not really, the daughter doesn't die and will be completely healed(praise the lord) and that's it the whole chapter in a couple of lines Just a waste of time and effort let's hope the next chapter gets the story back on track.

ejhgg

Wow! Yes. You nailed it and I totally forgot about that one paragraph in chapter one. My only excuse was I read chapter one two weeks ago.

So DQS did NOT shove this point totally without warning into the story without warning like I thought. But that just reinforces the point. The way he describes it, it was a problem in their marriage that they overcame.

The Quote:

It's flattering but I never consider them seriously. I went through one patch, one fever spell, about ten years ago when for some reason I daydreamed about fucking every nubile female that came within a dozen feet of me. I flirted and made halfway serious dates, but I could never make myself go through with them to the ultimate infidelity and one day, the fever just went away!

***

While I'm apologizing, HDK's comment of big dicked boy toys can be seen as the sexual dis, though I think having a guy like that and throwing him into your ex's face are slightly different things.

Yes, finger fucking is cheating. I'm unclear on if Hugh let Mary know about that or not. It's undefined. She obviously knows but I'm not sure how much of a surprise that is.

So wait Mary had an emotional affair for 6 months while Hugh actually got physical (even if there was no sex involved) and went on dates with other women? Well that definitely levels the playing field since they are BOTH cheaters and in actuality Hugh did far worse.

DQS told us at the start that we would not like the ending. My original thoughts were a reconciliation between Hugh and Mary. Now I can see DQS leaving the relationship between them unresolved and us the readers fuming.

i did not read any of it yet, so now that the 5th and final part is here i will read it all in one sitting. the comments do not look good though and the points are not that high for this one, but DQ is the best so it has to be a good read. hope it is another 5.

only problem with it was the last sentence. it was almost like you didnt even finish that thought .... whats impossible? lol. its going to be torture wondering what he is refering to til you continue the story.

thanks for sharing, your a great writer.

This stuff with Hugh's cheating 10 years before the divorce is clearly injected to create some sort of moral equivalency, probably to justify a reconciliation. No one to like in this any longer; Hugh is off his pedestal and bar fights are the norm. The story has become surreal at this stage and has lost a lot of what it created in the earlier chapters. This chapter gets a three, only because of reasonably good writing; it certainly loses on plot and credibility. It will take some effort now for me to read the rest, unfortunately.

well you have managed to get the hook in again !!

hard to believe but your writing is getting better as the story moves along.

Bloody good!

I'm still reading, but what am I waiting for? Please help me. I'm so confused.

After WWWM, it seems DQS1's standard mode of writing includes a bit of masterful soap opera stretched out by a lot of filler crap and finally a non ending. Don't be surprised if the final chapters add nothing of import to Hugh and Mary's story.

Also it is amusing that Hugh seems to be on such a high horse about fidelity and trust considering the finger fucking of young secretaries he indulged in while married. But hey he didn't fuck them so apparently it's all right! The best ending would be for this moron to die old and alone.

Too many "space fillers" included in this very long story. Just like "Dallas" once in time.

that is you've hooked me again with your style of writing!

I love it and the twists and turns you take.

Thanks again for gracing us with your writing and i hope the other side of your life is getting better.

C

Its all about humiliation and cheating wives who hurt their husbands without care. Both MM and DQS are good technical writers. They can introduce a story and create interest. Unfortunately all of MM's stories follow the same formula: shorter man loves an oversexed wife who needs a bigger dick. She loves her little man but needs the bigger dick they divorce and sometimes reconcile with the little man aware that he can't satisfy his loving wife.

DQS doesn't follow such an obvious formula. The wife may not be taller than the husband but has the sexual power over the husband. The wife cheats and the husband always finds out in a painful way. The wife may feel bad about it eventually but never really apologizes and life goes on without any kind of conclusion.

DQS is a master of the tease but is incapable or unwilling to tell a story that makes internal sense. In this story we are told that Mary and Hugh were happily married for 36 years and raised 2 successful children and are the proud grandparents of 2. They are healthy, happy people that enjoy each other's company. Hugh came from a wealthy family and he is a successful banker. Mary is also a successful textbook sales person whose job puts her on the road more often than she is at home.

DQS tells the story from Hugh's POV. He introduces us to Mary's inappropriate behavior while on the road with Hugh calmly forgiving her, remembering his own inappropriate behavior over 10 years ago. He gets Mary to promise that she would not contact the guy again. Fast forward 9 months and Hugh concludes that based on Mary's behavior and odd changes in her routine that she is having an affair. He asks her about it in a sad/loving way while holding her. She respond by lying and accusing him of obsessing over her earlier confession and imagining an affair. While still holding her, he begs her to tell him the truth. So Mary erupts like Jack Nicholson in the movie "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!" And gives him the truth in the most hurtful way:

I reached out to her, grabbing her hands and pulling her to me. I looked down at her and felt her flesh, then I remembered what she felt and looked like on those nights so long along when I stroked her and she stroked me, when I filled her and she moaned her pleasure at my touch - so damned long ago.

"Just tell me, Mary. For God's sake, tell me. You can go on torturing me, driving me crazy, knowing but not knowing. I can't make you be honest, but if you ever loved me, if there's even a tiny bit of that love left, don't leave me hanging here. Tell me the truth. I don't want to hear it, but I need to hear it, and I can't hear it, yet I do hear it, soft but clear and distinct.

"Yes, I've been meeting him - being with him, since three months after - you were right, about everything. When you heard laughter, that was him, I had just climaxed, cum so hard I almost threw him off the bed and he was trying to stifle his laughter. When you couldn't reach me, I was with him, all night, three and four times a night. I even missed a few morning meetings because I couldn't tear myself away from him. I think about him at night, lying next to you and I think about him when you're inside me. It's him I'm thinking about."

I let her go because her touch burned. It hurt to even look at her now.

"Why?"

"I - it was just something - I had to do. I fought it, Hugh, I really did. Because I knew I'd lose you and our life, but in the end, I threw everything away to have him."

"Do you love him?'

This was the last handhold. This was the last thing holding me to even a tiny fragment of the life I loved.

"I - I don't know, Hugh."

Mary the admitted cheater then proceeds to run off with her lover, plan to marry him until he decides to reconcile with his wife of twenty years. Until the breakup, Mary and Hugh were the perfect couple and everyone, especially their kids, wants them to reconcile. Mary cuts Hugh out of her life and rejects all contact with him and runs away like a child playing tag whenever they run into each other.

Now in this chapter, Mary stops running from Hugh because he tagged her in the bathroom but even when in a situation where some discussion is inevitable, she is incapable of being human.

"I'm glad you tracked me down to that bathroom. It was so exhausting hiding from you."

"Why, why hide? We got divorced, it happens. You cheated on me. It hurt but a lot of women do that and a lot of men. Why the disappearing act?"

"I couldn't stand the thought of what it would be like to face you again. I kept seeing the look on your face, when I told you -- about him. I felt like I wanted to turn into ash and blow away. I never wanted to see that look in your eyes again. There was nothing I could do to make it better. I couldn't ask you to forgive me, I couldn't forgive myself. I just wanted to pretend that you had ceased to exist."

She blames him for her constant thoughts of him

"Your face is the first thing I see when I wake in the morning and it's the last thing I see when I close my eyes at night. For two years! Every day! Every night! Drunk or sober, I can't get you out of my head. I thought after I left Richard that maybe fucking other guys would do it, so I tried, but it's like you're a monster from some horror movie. You keep coming back."

Now any normal person would say something like I missed you, or thought about you, or no man could make me forget you but Mary has to say it like it was a complaint. She avoids him because she doesn't want to see him hurt but hurts him over and over whether she is with him or not.

There is no need to drag this stuff out. DQS then has them get together as a family at the following Thanksgiving with no information shared about what happened or any obvious dialogue like whats going on with your life? what really happened to us? Instead we get a stupid bar scene bankers vs. rednecks in Jacksonville. Its really a shame. It could be a great story: do they reconcile, what did Mary do on the road, did Mary make a pact with the devil to preserve her youth and get to wear belly shirts without makeup for eternity, does Hugh get to TTB and get a new woman? It seems like 2 adults in their situation would not behave as Mary and Hugh do given the facts of this story and so it fails as a whole.

We have a story centered around two characters that it is impossible to care anything about, and we have an author who doesn't have the courage or the conviction or perhaps the ability to end the damn story. The result is that we have wasted pages of text that go absolutely nowhere except in circles. This story just seems to be a smaller version of that behemoth WWWM. Writing stories with piss poor endings or no real endings at all seems to be turning into some kind of an art form for DQS1. Hey, there is no doubt that he can string sentences together with the best of them. But when it comes to telling a story with a beginning, a middle and an ending, he is just not that good.

Mary and Hugh will die alone ,that is true unless both die simultaneously in a bomb attack by a terrorist.

yr also unable to break the mold with yr women, u need a break to think about yr stories, if u fancy yourself with a future as a writer then yr books will all be the same ifn u cant develop new ladies without big boobs and open legs howabout u stop and smell the roses then go again.

almost a fan

DQS,

I have been waiting and waiting for the final chapter to read this one. Now, I can. Looks good too. Keep up the writing; I really like your long stuff.

Matt

DQS,after reading all of your stories it is obvious that you are not good at writing for LW ! All of your other stories are just about perfect. Perhaps you should stop writing LW stories. None of them is any good.

Disappointing little hidden fact, wouldn't you say? We knew that Hugh had -thought about- stepping out, but the idea that he'd actually gone out on dates and gotten pretty far...this is Chapter 1 stuff, not a little aside that his ex-wife would bring up at that late time. If we'd known that he had all-but-cheated, he wouldn't have been a sympathetic character, and her departure wouldn't have seemed completely out of the blue. Saint Hugh is a little grating in his innocence, but rewriting his character at this late point is cheap. :(

You think you might have mentioned that he wasn't faithful either!? You made it sound like he had never cheated in earlier chapters. So I guess that means you are one of those people who think you actually have to penetrate someone for it to be considered cheating? I feel like I've been reading a lie for 5 chapters!?!?

So who is to like in this tale? Hugh the clay footed saint? Gail the rich whore? Mary the semi-rich whore? Inquiring minds want to know.

Sorta like real life - who coulda guessed it ???

Let's just see how they all end up happy in the end please lol

Well here we go. It takes 5 chapters before we find out our supposed hero was a cheater first. And spare me the bullshit....he was fingering women to orgasm, swapping spit and had his dick in a lovers mouth. He fucking cheated.

True, he wasn't a saint, and if her cheating was in revenge for his, she might be owed some slack. But there is no indication that his cheating had anything to do with hers.

And yes, there IS a difference between fingering and blow jobs and fucking.

And his indiscretions can be best characterized as "flings", while she had a full-blown affair.

Finally, when push came to shove he put his marriage above his immediate sexual gratification, which unfortunately she did not.

And she compounded her betrayal by cutting him out of her life completely, even to the point of denying him the honor of giving away the bride at his surrogate daughter's wedding.

On the scale of things I'd give her AT LEAST 75% of the grief in this situation.

the palate cleanser.

throw in a totally out of character bar fight. I can't imagine what it looked like with the rolls, and the Mercedes pulling into the parking lot of the low life dive.

a mystery boxer.

the entourage.

and the obligatory cliff hanger.

the point of this?

YOu on the other hand have no reason to live except to bitch and cry like then fag you are

Someone else commented that this was probably your best. I agree. Five stars.

BEST BAR FIGHT EVER!!!!! BROUGHT BACK MEMORIES!!!

Still want Mary painfully killed.

No likeable characters.

This is so bad. Cliche city. Hlw could any rational reader give this a five. It is like the naked fun movies.

Pathetic!!!

this turdmobile has gone of the rails - the worst kind of farce because it is trying to be serious

...jumped the Shark.

It's as if this chapter was an interlude designed to introduce another story entirely.

I agree with Bebop. What's the purpose of this chapter?

I feel like I have lost an hour of my life I can never get back.

Great story by a great story teller. DQS always delivers a great read

With the "I still love her" crap.

She cheated on you. Rubbed it in your face. Did not have any remorse. And will do it again.

Still a good 5* read.

Enough.... can’t finish. Too many stupid contradictions and then illogical explanation to try to fix it. This is way below DQS quality.

Men really CAN stop loving a cheating slut wife!!! What story was "G" in???

100 bankers on the bottom of the ocean? ...... as good start.

@RePhil :) that was a good one. I cant help but add one of my own.

My wife and my banker have something in common.

Neither of them will give me credit.

Bankers in a bar fight is not something you read about every day. SMH

Nothing like a good fight scene to liven things up.

Ugh, so now the main character just happens to remember all the times he almost cheated on his wife? We're on the 5th chapter and that information suddenly surfaces? Too bad Hugh and Gail can't be a thing, they seem most compatible of all the characters. Feels like we're heading for either a RAAC or an "always alone" ending. Disappointing.

When I have those loooooong nights I can't sleep.....................................

Enjoyed the fight scene, not so much the "suddenly he was cheating too" twist I guess to try to make him seem like was quite the innocent victim he appeared to be.