GOALS, DREAMS, and LIFE

As we left the lounge, who should we run into but Jake Houston and a couple of his cronies. They were all under the influence of alcohol, drunk on their asses actually. I heard that Jake had blown out his knee and couldn't play football anymore.

Jake didn't recognize me. I could understand that, the Navy had added ten to fifteen pounds of muscle. Besides the only time I met Jake, I knocked him on his ass. But he did know Caitlyn.

"Well there's the little teasing bitch, herself. Hey buddy, you're not getting any of that. She won't give it up to any guy. I think she's a lesbo and you sell ice cream." He was referring to my dress whites. Jake was laughing at his wit. He was half right anyway.

Neither Caitlyn nor I responded to the drunken ass and walked passed him. As we got close he reached out and grabbed Caitlyn's arm. It was almost a repeat of the scene outside the art gallery. Down went Jake. He was on his back bleeding again and out of it. His two cronies started toward me.

I motioned for them to come on. There must have been something in my face or my eyes that warned them off. They backed away. I stepped over to Jake and said, "Jake that's the second time I have kicked your ass for abusing Caitlyn. Don't ever touch her again. Don't even look in her direction. This is your last warning; I promise you won't enjoy the consequences if you don't pay attention."

We were walking away Caitlyn was holding on to my arm and giggling, "Jesus Christ Drew, I never even saw you move. Now he has my arm and now he is on his ass. You're my knight in shining armor, again." She pulled my head down and kissed me, hard.

The rest of the night was very special to me. We said good bye in the best possible way. The next morning I was off to Norfolk to work on an aircraft carrier. Caitlyn and I exchanged emails about every two weeks over the next six months.

Arriving in Norfolk I made my first deployment with the fleet. We were on a Mediterranean cruise for three months. Surprisingly I never had a problem with being sea sick. As it turned out, that cruise was my first and last deployment with the fleet. The old line "join the Navy and see the world" was true for me, but I did it by plane instead of by ship.

I was basically stationed at either the Norfolk Va. Naval ship yards or Mare Island NSY Ca. There were also periods of TDY (temporary duty) usually for three to six months to Pearl Harbor, Puget Sound, San Diego NSY, and others.

My job was to revamp, renovate, and update the computer systems on the ships of the fleet. I worked on everything from aircraft carriers down to frigates. You could have called me an I.T. guy, a computer nerd, or a techno geek in civilian life. That was the reason for the computer science major.

Caitlyn and I would chat or write each other by email. You really didn't expect a techno geek to actually hand write a letter and use snail mail did you? For the first four or five months we "wrote" at least once a week. That gradually slowed down to every ten days to two weeks. There was only so many times that you could say you missed someone and day to day details of life were a little boring. After my deployment, I got leave and came home for 14 days. After spending a week with my family I went to Bozeman and spent the last week with Caitlyn.

Not having a wife or girlfriend and not being interested in the bar scene, I had a lot of free time. Some of the off time was used to take correspondence courses, mostly in computer science. These were courses administered by the Navy and were intense. I started running again and even went to the gym three or four times a week. It wasn't long before I regained the shape I had been in while at college running marathons.

Two promotions, first to Lieutenant JG and then to Lieutenant made it easier to take leave. I was able to get a long leave about every six to seven months, duty permitting. I would usually spend half of my leave with Mom and Dad and the other half with Caitlyn. Two or three times Caitlyn came to visit me. It was harder for her to get away; she had her own career to worry about. My life went on this way for almost two and a half years. Then things began to change.

Shortly after my last visit, Caitlyn's emails began to slow down. Sometimes it was a month before she answered my emails. She didn't write about it, but I thought she had found someone else. Her last email told me she wanted to talk to me and would call me at 8:00 PM my time on Friday evening. I was back in Norfolk and there was a time difference. At 7:59, my cell phone announced that I had a call.

"Hello Kitty, how are you," I said when I picked up my phone.

"Hi Drew. Let's get past the chit chat, can we? This is going to be tough enough without trying to be adult about things." Caitlyn sounded like she was or had been crying.

"Stop crying Kitty. We'll handle it whatever the problem is."

"Drew I have met someone and think I'm in love with him. I know you were coming home next month and I wanted you to know before you got here. I won't be able to see you this time."

Because of the longer times between emails, I had thought that she had a male friend. I just didn't know that things had gotten this serious. My heart started to beat faster and I had a little trouble breathing. It must have been two minutes or so of silence.

"Are you still there Drew? Say something, please."

"Yeah, I'm here. I don't know what to say, Kitty." I was hurting.

Caitlyn waited just a second or two then she said, "I had to tell you and didn't think it would be right to wait until you got home. That would have been cruel. I do care for you Drew, but I just fell in love with James. I'm sorry Drew."

"It's okay, I'll be fine. You always said that you would date; I guess I thought we would see each other when I was on leave until I got out and then we would be together. Thanks for telling me, it would have sucked to come home and find out then. Good luck Kitty, I hope you guys will be happy. Good bye."

"Drew, don't hang u..........."

I hung up quickly; I couldn't talk to her anymore. Caitlyn had been honest with me from the start. I wasn't upset with her; I was just upset at the situation. If I had known that I would fall in love with her, I wouldn't have become her friend in college. Who am I kidding? Of course I would have, I couldn't have helped myself.

I hadn't spent many nights out at a bar drinking. But this was one of those times. I didn't want to go to the Officer's Club where the Brass could see me, so I went off base to one of the many bars outside the gates. Our curfew without a pass was midnight. I didn't have to be in my room by that time but I did have to be on base.

I was still at the bar at 11:00 and had no intention of leaving. Let 'em throw me in the brig I told the bartender; at that point I didn't care. There was an E7 (Chief Petty Officer) sitting at a table with two junior Chiefs and he was watching me as I downed several large bourbons. I thought he looked familiar but in my drunken state I was lucky to know my own name much less anyone else.

The Chief left his table and joined me at the bar. "Hello. Lieutenant, how they hangin?"

"Hey Chief. Your Casey right?" I finally recognized the Chief. He was very active in one of the churches on base. Chief Casey sort of sponsored and ran a youth group at the church. The church and the youth group had some computer problems, but there was no extra money to fix the equipment. That was how I met him.

I heard him talking about the problems to my assistant and offered my help. After checking out the computers, I thought the best solution was new or at least newer equipment. If there was no money to fix the existing computers, then there was certainly no money to buy new equipment. I told the Chief to give me a few days to find a solution.

The Navy had recently upgraded a few of their office PCs in the Quartermaster command and the old ones were in storage waiting to be sent to recycling. I talked to my captain and explained the situation and my idea.

I wanted to sign out the old computers to recycle them. Instead I would wipe the hard drives, reinstall the operating system, add a few bells and whistles for the kids, and give the equipment to the church.

Captain Hodges is my boss basically and is a salty old dog. He is also one of the kindest men I had ever met. After listening to me for twenty minutes, he held up his hand to stop me.

"Sounds like this operation could get furbared real quick. If this comes back to bite me in the ass, I'll have your hide Lieutenant." Then he gave me written authorization to recycle the old equipment.

I answered, "We could always say the operation was an example of redistribution of assets and inventory control, Sir. He laughed at me and waved me out of his office.

It took me about four days, working after hours to finish revamping the computers. Two of those nights, Captain Hodges helped me with the work. See, I told you he was really a teddy bear. We finished the work and gave the equipment to the Chief. The Captain and I now have prayers being said for us, every Sunday.

So that explains why a Chief Petty Office would help a lowly drunken Lieutenant. Chief Casey suggested that it was time for me to return to base and helped me back to the BOQ. (Bachelor Officers Quarters) Normally CPO's have nothing but contempt for young officers.

The next morning I was jolted awake by a pounding on my door. It was Chief Casey, all bright eyed and bushy tailed, bringing me coffee. I looked at him through bloodshot eyes and groaned.

"You are disgustingly cheerful this morning, Chief. Go away and let me suffer in peace," I responded to his good morning.

"No sir, drop your cock and grab your socks. I'm going to get you back in tiptop shape and we're burning daylight," the Chief told me. All I could do was groan again. He spent the next week, whipping me back into shape. I thought he was a sadistic and heartless man.

I spent the next 14 months bouncing around to different U. S. Naval yards and bases, doing what I do. During that time I had fixed the computers at the church several times. I had just returned to Norfolk after a one month TDY to the west coast and crashed in my room, mini jet lag I think. The next morning the Chief pounded on my door.

"Didn't anyone teach you how to knock on a door without breaking it Chief? What do you want at this ungodly hour?" It was 06:30 and too early for me after the travel day I had yesterday.

"The people at the church are throwing their annual picnic and you're invited. It's sort of a thank you for helping with computers. I wanted make sure that you were informed about the picnic Lieutenant," he told me.

"Thanks aren't necessary Chief. I was happy to help out. So give them my regards," I said thinking about going back to bed.

"It's too late, the picnic is today at 1100 hours. We need to get you some breakfast and then work the jet lag out of you. By the time you get cleaned up it will time to go to the picnic."

"I could give you a direct order to leave me alone Chief. Don't make me do that." I was trying out the skills I learned at the Officer Command School.

"Please don't give that order sir. I would hate to disobey a direct order, but in this case I will. C'mon Lieutenant, it's no big deal, the kids just want to say thank you. Give em a break, will ya?"

"Okay, you are much too persuasive for my own good Chief. I'll be out in a few minutes. Why don't you wait in the jeep?"

"Don't need a jeep sir. We will jog over to the mess hall and get breakfast; then jog to the gym, work the kinks out and jog back here to get cleaned up for the picnic." Chief Casey was smiling the whole time that he was advising me of the torture he had planned for me.

"I was wrong Casey, you're not persuasive; you're the devil incarnate. What did I ever do to deserve you, Chief?"

Chief Casey was smiling and chuckling and said, "You're just lucky I guess Sir." So began my morning of torture.

Chief Casey and I arrived at the church picnic at 11:30. We were met with cheers from the kids and were thanked by their parents several times. The church members had all brought some type of food and in large amounts. If anyone went home hungry, it was their own fault and they didn't deserve to eat.

We had BBQ pork, BBQ beef brisket, BBQ chicken, shell fish, and crab legs plus all the side dishes. I was going back for seconds on the BBQ, or maybe it was thirds, and met Maddie. We both reach for a chicken leg at the same time.

"Oh, excuse me," I said.

"No go ahead," she replied.

This exchanged was repeated and I thought it was going to be repeated a third time. Instead I said, "If we keep up this "after you Gaston" play, all the chicken will be eaten by someone else." As I said this, I used a napkin and put the piece of chicken on her plate. "There you go, problem solved," I said.

She started to giggle and then she laughed out loud. She got to laughing so hard that she was snorting a little. That made me laugh too. We must have sounded like two laughing hyenas before we could get control. As we wound down, I introduced myself.

"Hi, I'm Drew Callaghan," I said.

"I'm Madelyn Richards, my friends call me Maddie," she answered and shook my hand. She had a strong grip for a woman.

We filled our plates with food and sat down at one of the tables together. While eating we talked. It was obvious that we were attracted to each other. Maddie was a teacher and some of the kids at the picnic were her students. Several times kids would come over and say hello to her. Many of them said thank you to me, some even gave me a hug.

"Oh, I just realized who you are," Maddie said with surprise. "You're the hero, the one that got the computers for our church." She seemed impressed.

"I don't know about the hero part, but yeah I was involved in getting them." I told her.

Maddie and I spent most of the afternoon together, talking and walking around the church grounds. We finally realized that other than a few people cleaning up, everyone had gone. The picnic was over.

I looked for Chief Casey, but he was long gone. I offered to escort Maddie home, but she said she would stay and help with the clean up and catch a ride with the pastor and his wife.

I must have shown my disappointment, because she handed me a card and said, "Here is both my home and cell phone numbers. Give me a call Drew and we can continue this conversation, if you want to."

On the way back to my room, I stopped at the NCO club, its better known as the "Slop Chute". Officers don't go to the NCO club, there is no rule against it, but it just isn't done. I stuck my head in the door, spotted Chief Casey and sent the seaman at the door to bring the Chief to me. Casey joined me outside with a puzzled look on his face.

"Okay Chief, who set this up?"

"I don't know what the Lieutenant is talking about," he answered.

"Bilge water Chief. When you use that third person "the Lieutenant" crap, I know you're involved someway. Give it up Casey."

The Chief looked at me and smiled. "I just thought it was time for you to get back at sea again sir. Ever since that night that I brought you back from the bar, you have almost been a hermit. I thought it was time to break out your main sail again. And Maddie is a fine young lady."

I couldn't help but smile at his naval references. "Enough of the old salt talk, Chief. What the hell are you talking about?"

"Sir I know that your girl back home broke up with you and you haven't been doing anything but working and sleeping and that's no way to live. Maddie is a fine lass and she is a little sad too because her father was killed in a car wreck last year. For a Lieutenant you ain't a bad sort. I just thought you two could help each other."

"Okay Chief, I'll call her, thanks." On the way back to my room, I smiled thinking about the look of accomplishment on Chief Casey's face.

I called Mattie on Sunday afternoon. We met at a coffee house and spent the evening getting to know each other better. We made a date for the next Friday evening. Friday after dinner we did something really exciting, we took a walk in the park. Most of our dates were this intense, we would go to a movie and take a walk, or go to dinner and sit with coffee on a park bench.

Chaste little good night pecks turned into burning passionate kisses and we progressed from there. The romantic side of our relationship was a little difficult. I lived at the BOQ and Maddie had moved in with her mother after her father was killed. My quality of life had improved greatly when I met Maddie. The "L" word was beginning to be tossed around and thoughts of our future soon surfaced.

In two months my tour would be completed and I had a decision to make. Stay or leave. If I re-enlisted for another five year hitch, the Navy would count the four years of college as active duty time. I would be 27 with nine years of active duty; I could retire with half pay after twenty years.

If I did stay and retire with my twenty in, I would be 38. I would have a nice pension, Naval Exchange privileges, and medical coverage all at a fairly young age. The Navy was also offering a large amount of money as a signing bonus. In addition I was told that it was a cinch that I would make at least Commander and possibly Captain during my new enlistment. Not a bad deal at all.

The fly in the ointment was that I would still be in the Navy, not at home in Montana. The dream was to work the ranch with my dad and mom. I joined the Navy ROTC program because it was the only way to go to college. My goal had been to get an education that would be help make the family ranch more productive. My classes in animal science, natural resources range land ecology, and equine science would make my dream possible.

I decided to talk to Maddie and ask her advice. She and I had become very close. I had spent time with her mother and we got along pretty well too. Although Maddie and I had never actually talked about marriage, the thought was in our minds.

After dinner and a little dancing at a club, Maddie and I were sitting on her front porch sneaking a few kisses and touchy feelys. When we had come up for air after a kiss, I asked Maddie for her advice.

I explained my two options and asked, "What do you think I should do Honey?"

"You believe those are your only options?" Maddie looked at me as I nodded my head. "I don't like either of them. There is a third option, you know?"

"What would that be?" I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Get out of the Navy and stay here with me, Drew," Maddie suggested.

"I hadn't planned on staying in Norfolk. If I stay in the Navy, I could be sent to another duty station. If I get out, I want to go home to Montana," I explained.

"Do you love me Drew? Do you see a life for us together?" Maddie surprised me with these questions.

"Well let me see," I paused for a few seconds, "Yeah I'm pretty sure that I do." I said with a smile. I was trying to be funny and ease the tension that had come up. "And yes, I had thought about us being together, Maddie."

"Well, I love you and want us to be together too. But if we do get married or even just live together, it has to be here. I won't move to Montana nor will I follow you to your duty stations. I can't and I won't leave my mother alone. Besides this is my home and I don't want to leave here. So where does that leave us?"

"I don't know Maddie. The thought of living anywhere but Montana has never crossed my mind. At least not until the Navy made that offer to me. I need some time to think about all this. I'll call you tomorrow." I kissed her good night and walked back to the base. Instead of reaching a decision, now I had more to think about.