GOALS, DREAMS, and LIFE

"No, Dad. She made it plain that she wanted this guy instead of me. I wasn't going to be second choice," I told him with a little heat.

"Lakota, I never thought I would see you give up. Get beat maybe, but not give up," Dad said. Dad never called me Lakota unless he was upset with me. He sounded a little disappointed.

"What could I do, she told me not to come see her when I came home on leave. She said she didn't want to hurt me, but I think she didn't want James to know about us. So I just stayed away."

"Son, have you ever heard the story of John Little Bear?" My dad was smiling when he asked that. I thought and then shook my head no.

"Sean, don't. Lakota doesn't need to hear that story. It will just confuse him," my mother said. Now I was curious.

"I wish the Lakota Sioux had a word for bullshit. It will give the boy something to think about. Besides, I like to brag about it." Dad was laughing. Mom was blushing.

"When I met your mother she was tending a Native American handicraft stall at the festival in Butte. There was a young man with her, one John Little Bear. I didn't know that your mother and John were sort of engaged. Their families had an understanding that Chayton and John would marry some day." Dad stopped to get a fresh cup of coffee.

"It wouldn't have made any difference to me if I had known. I bought some trinket from her just to get a little closer to her. She gave me my change and looked into my eyes as she thanked me. I felt what the Italians call "the Thunder Bolt", and I knew. I told your mother that I would marry her someday."

Mom broke in with, "I was so shocked, not because of what your father said, but because I felt the same attraction that he did. John saw the look that passed between us and heard what Sean said. John wasn't a happy man right then."

My father smiled at my mother and continued, "I knew there would be trouble when John followed me out of the festival grounds. He came up to me and told me to stay away from Chayton. She is my woman he said. I told him, he couldn't be sure if he had to warn me away. Then I said that "Wakan Tanka" (the Great Spirit) told me the woman was mine. He hesitated and I walked away."

Both of my parents held hands and kissed. Dad said, "I guess John was more spiritual than I am. He believed me I guess and told Chayton that they should pray to see what the Great Spirit wanted them to do.

I went back on the final day of the festival and brought you mother home with me. About three days later John finally decided that he didn't care what the Great Spirit said, he wanted your mother and came to get your mother back. He was to be disappointed because we were married the day after we left Butte. We were married in the church and a week later we were married according to Sioux traditions."

Chante said, "That is a very romantic story. Dad you have a touch of the blarney in you though. Did it really happen that way?"

"That's the way it really happened honey," Dad answered. "And I hope it gives Drew some ideas."

"Caitlyn is probably married by now," I said. "Besides I don't know where she is."

"She is still living in Bozeman, I checked the day after you got home. She is a loan office at our bank, the Wells Fargo branch in Bozeman. If she is married you can take her and her husband out to dinner as an old friend, but you don't know do you?" Dad had a unique talent for cutting through the bullshit.

For the first time since I came home, I had trouble getting to sleep that night. My dad had challenged me to go see Caitlyn. What if she was married? What if she wasn't? Would she even want to see me? Why wouldn't she want to see me, we had been good friends. See what I mean, my mind was on a treadmill and no way to get off.

I had so much work for the next few days that I couldn't even think of going to look for Caitlyn. The motorcycle was great, but I couldn't use it on the ranch, so I decided to buy a truck. It didn't have to be a new one, just something that was dependable and ran well. The only place to look for trucks, new or used, was Bozeman. Anyway, that's what I told myself.

George the hired hand working at the ranch had talked about moving on at the end of the summer, he was only staying that long to help my dad. After I got home and started to work around the place, George decided that he would leave right away.

The first day I put on work clothes my dad had put me on the payroll. After George left I got a raise and I planned on financing a truck. The money I had saved while in the Navy I planned to use for a computer system for the ranch. I was going to combine both of my majors to make the ranch more profitable.

There is no such thing as weekends off on a ranch, although we did take off Sunday as much as possible. On Monday, just another work day, I fired up the Harley and rode to Bozeman. It felt good to be on the bike again as I hadn't done more than start it since I came home. I had arranged with Dad to take two or three days off to find a truck. Oh yeah, and maybe look up Caitlyn.

Bozeman is a little over an hour's ride. I rode around when I got there looking things over. I had spent four years here at Montana State University. The place hadn't changed much.

Once again I had used the telephone to do some scouting. The largest auto dealer in the area is Billion Auto Group and had several trucks that sounded like what I wanted. I looked at 3 or 4 trucks and Billion Chevy had a really nice, used ¾ ton Silverado 4x4, extended cab with a full size bed. It was two years old, had low miles and would be a perfect truck for the ranch.

The manager was Jim Hickman, a classmate at college whom I hadn't seen for three years. He decided we should adjourn to a nearby tavern to negotiate the price on the truck. It took two or three beers to meet in the middle and a deal was made.

"Okay, you're stealing the truck, Drew. But you do have to pay for it, how do you want to handle it? Do you want us to set up a loan for you?"

"No, I think I will go to the Wells Fargo branch here and set it up myself. My folks bank at the branch in Ennis and I have my accounts there also. That should be enough to get a loan approved. If not, I will just pay cash," I told Jim.

Even though I had just moved back into the area, I had spent my whole life here. My parents ran a lot of money through the bank and my savings account would more than cover the cost of the truck. I didn't think there would be any problem.

"At least you'll have an "in" at Wells Fargo. Remember Caitlyn Brady? She's a loan office there," Jim said.

"Oh really, I didn't know that," I lied to Jim. Of course I knew Caitlyn worked there. She was the reason I was going to set up my own loan rather than let the dealership do it. Do things this way, it wouldn't seem like I was stalking her. I was but it wouldn't look like it. This lowly ex-Lieutenant wasn't always dumb.

I offered Jim a check to hold the truck until I got my loan, but he said my word was good. He gave me all the paper work I would need and the only thing left to do was to go to the bank.

The bank lobby was very large and I asked the lady at the information desk to see a loan officer concerning an auto loan. She picked up and dialed the phone and told me someone would be right with me. I waited for a few minutes and then heard someone walk up behind me.

"Home is the sailor, home from the sea." It was Caitlyn. "Hello Drew, long time."

"Well, hi Caitlyn. Do you work here?" I was trying to act surprised.

"Don't give me that, your dad told you I work here. He was the one that gave me a heads up that you were coming in," She told me.

There goes my whole plan, blow out of the water by a diabolical father. "I'll have a few words with him when I get home," I mumbled.

"Don't be mad at him. He was trying to protect you and me. If I didn't want to see you, his warning gave me a chance to have someone else handle your business." Caitlyn was defending my dad, she always did like him.

"Okay, I guess he thought he was helping. Anyway, I still need a loan to buy a truck. Let's get back to that, shall we?" I was embarrassed and wanted to get out as soon as possible.

"Your loan has already been approved. The history that your family has with the bank and your accounts are more than enough for approval. Give Vicky here the VIN and paper work and she'll finish the contract for us. We can go get a coffee while she does. Okay?"

I was at a loss for words and just nodded. Caitlyn took my arm and led me to a coffee shop next to the bank. Long cup of coffee, we were gone for over an hour. When we got back I had a contract to sign and the truck was mine. Caitlyn had to go to a meeting, but before she left she asked me when I was going back to the ranch.

"I thought I would stay over tonight. Jim is going to service the truck for me today and tomorrow I'll load the bike onto the truck and head home," I told her. I was going to ask to see her again and then Caitlyn surprised me.

Caitlyn paused and then asked, "Could we have dinner tonight?"

"I don't think, James is it, would like you going to dinner with an old boyfriend, do you."

"James isn't in the picture anymore, so don't worry about that. I would like to have dinner with my friend. How about it, Drew?"

Now what do you think I told her? This was what I wanted all along. "Sure Kitty, I'm staying at the Hilton, want to eat there about 6:00?

"Wow no one has called me Kitty in a long time, I miss it. Okay, 6:00 at the Hilton, see you then." With that Caitlyn left for her meeting.

Getting ready to meet Caitlyn, I was really nervous. I don't know why I was so tense; I mean this was just about the rest of my life here. I changed shirts three times and jeans once. There wasn't an ounce of difference between them; it was just that I was freaking out. Finally at 5:45 I went to the restaurant, I couldn't wait in my room any longer.

Caitlyn was already there at a table in the corner. The hostess met me at the door, but I saw Caitlyn, never broke stride and walked right passed the lady. Caitlyn stood up and gave me a hug and we sat down next to each other. By the way, she was beautiful. The pretty young girl that I knew had grown into a stunning young woman.

Dinner conversation was mostly reminiscing about old classmates, my career and the places I had been stationed, and some of my plans for the ranch. We didn't talk about anything substantial; we were getting to know each other again. After dinner we went into the lounge for a nightcap and to continue talking.

We had a couple of drinks, I repeat a couple meaning two. Then I couldn't ignore the 600 pound gorilla sitting in our booth any longer. "You said James was out of the picture Kitty. I heard a year or so ago that you two were engaged."

"We were engaged for over a year. But neither of us pushed to set a date for the wedding. James is a good guy, but I finally figured out that the thing I liked most about James was that he was here. I think we both liked the idea of being a couple more than we loved each other. We met one evening, right here in this lounge in fact, and broke off our engagement."

"I'm sorry Kitty," I told her.

Caitlyn actually laughed a little. "No you're not Drew. Admit it; you're happy that I'm single. Come on admit it." Caitlyn was laughing while she said this.

"Okay, I admit it. Stop laughing and listen to me while I make an ass out of myself. I still care about you Kitty. Care about you hell, I love you. Probably more than I should. When my dad told me that you were still here I got excited. You're the reason I came to Bozeman to find a truck and you're the reason I financed it with your bank. Even if you didn't handle my loan, I was going to see you."

I had to stop for some liquid courage and then continued, "I had and have hopes of us picking up where we left off. You don't have to give me an answer tonight, but think about it please."

Caitlyn smiled at me, said she had a busy day tomorrow and she needed to get home to prepare for it. I walked her to her car and gave her a kiss on the cheek as I said good night. In my room I thought about our evening and decided that there was a chance. At least she hadn't said no to continuing our relationship. Yet. Maybe my dad was smarter than I thought.

The next morning about 9:00 I was at the car lot loading the bike into my new truck. I shook hands with Jim and said good bye with all the usual let's go fishing, or let's have a beer sometime conversation.

Jim looked over my shoulder as we finished our good bye and said, "You have company I think."

I turned around and there was Caitlyn. She had a smile on her face and a suit case in her hand. "Got room for a passenger?" She asked me.

My ability to think quickly only kept her waiting for almost a minute before I answered, "Sure, where can I take you?"

"I have to get to my new job in Ennis. The bank there needed a loan officer and I volunteered to transfer to that branch."

"Oh, why would you want to work in such a small town?" See how quick on my feet I am. Sometimes I'm so slow I wonder how I even got to college.

"Are you really that dumb or is it all an act to lure an unsuspecting young woman into your trap? You ass, I want to be with you too. I love you too Drew."

"Wait, we just met up again yesterday. How could you arrange a transfer almost overnight?" Now I was really confused.

"The transfer was approved a couple of weeks ago. I put it into the works when your dad called me to tell me you were home and that you were by yourself," Caitlyn answered smiling the whole time. "I'll get a room at the hotel until I can find a place to live and we will take this thing between us as far as we can ride it."

The morning had been overcast with low hanging clouds and no sun. Finding Caitlyn with her suitcase and her wanting to go with me was like the sun coming out and burning off the haze. I know I know, that's hokey and mushy and all the other stuff you're going to say, but that's how I felt. For the first time since I came home I felt really peaceful. Excited yes, but peaceful in my heart.

I just stood there like the village idiot when I should have grabbed her and held her close. Thank god Caitlyn has more sense than I do. She stepped over to me, put her hands behind my head, pulled my face down and kissed me. It's a good thing one of us acted or I may have stood there looking at her forever.

Caitlyn looked into my eyes and said, "You remember I told you that the best thing about James was that he was here? Well the worst thing about him was that he wasn't you. I let you go because I didn't think I wanted to wait for you and that's all I've been doing. Waiting for you to come back. I didn't realize it then, but I do now."

"No, I can't," I finally spoke.

Caitlyn looked shocked. "But you said last night that you still loved me."

"I mean no, I can't let you stay in a hotel. It would take up too much time driving back and forth from the ranch to see you and I have a lot of work to do. We have plenty of room at the ranch house, you can stay with us. It's has five bedrooms and only two of them are being used. If you like, I have a very large bedroom and you can share it with me."

"I think we should take it a little slower than that, but I do want us to be together, to see if we can continue from where we were," Caitlyn answered me. "It would be much nicer to stay at the ranch instead of the hotel. I like your mom and dad a lot so it would be like a visit with friends," She was giggling as she said this. She was kidding, I think.

Caitlyn's suitcase was put behind the seat and we climbed in for the ride home. "Is that all you're taking with you? I thought women had to have a lot of stuff when they travel. My dad was always complaining about how much my sister packed when we traveled," I was curious.

"This will get me by for a week or so. I had planned to get the rest of my things in a week or so. If this worked out, by this I mean us." Caitlyn said.

"What do you mean, if this worked out? Are you having doubts now?" Now I was worried again. I'm like an old woman sometimes, always borrowing trouble instead of having faith.

"No, no doubts now. I knew you were home and knew you were coming to Bozeman. I didn't know that you would try to find me and I hadn't planned on you coming to my bank. My transfer was already set up and I thought I would make a point to see you in Ennis." Caitlyn stopped to catch her breath and continued.

"My transfer to the Wells Fargo branch in Ennis had been discussed before your dad called me. There is a lot of development going on in the Madison River Valley and the area in general. The bank wants to expand its market in that area and they need a full time loan officer. Ergo me."

I was paying so much attention to Caitlyn, looking at her and taking her in, that I almost ran off the road. "Damn," I shouted, and got the truck back on the pavement.

"If you can't drive and talk at the same time, I'll be quiet until it's safe to talk," Caitlyn laughed at me. I frowned at her and motioned for her to go on with her story.

"After your dad called me, I told my boss that I would be willing to go to the Ennis branch on a trial bases. He agreed, but asked if I would go for two months. After two months, I could decide if I wanted to stay. They would train someone to take my place in Bozeman, but if I wanted to come back, the new person could go to Ennis."

"You must have a lot of clout at the bank," I said admiringly.

She smiled and told me, "They want to keep me happy. Bozeman is not the financial crossroads of the west and an experienced loan office with a degree doesn't pass through every day. Besides, I'm very good at my job."

I stopped the truck at a scenic overlook to take a break. There was a thermos of coffee in the cab and I poured both of us a cup. I used the excuse that I wanted to check the tie downs on the bike as a reason for stopping. The tie downs were fine, which I knew when I stopped. Talking and just being with Caitlyn was so enjoyable, that I wanted to extend our time together a little.

Back on the road Caitlyn continued with her explanation, "I had planned to approach you in Ennis and then you blew my plans away by coming to the bank to find me. Last night I thought that if I was going to Ennis, I might as well ride with you. I called Jim early this morning and found out when you were picking up your truck and just showed up and begged a ride with you."

Finally after two more stops, we arrived at the ranch house. We didn't really have to stop but we were enjoying our time together. Dad and Mom came out onto the porch as we drove up. As we got out of the truck, Caitlyn ran to my dad and hugged him. She kissed him on the cheek and I heard her say thank you. Dad was surprised by the hug and the kiss but pleased at the attention.

Caitlyn hugged and kissed my mom too. Mom said, "Tanyan yahi, welcome home."

I hugged and kissed my mother too and shook hands with Dad. He gave me a smug little grin and then started laughing at the look on my face. My dad told me to put Caitlyn's things in the room across from mine.

Dad said, "No need in them wearing out the carpet running from the back bedroom to Drew's, put them close together."

"Sean, that's not funny," my mother scolded him.

"Wasn't meant to be funny, just plain common sense if you ask me," Dad defended himself and then laughed again.

The four of us fixed and ate lunch together. After lunch, Caitlyn and I saddled two horses and took a long ride around the ranch. She had been to the ranch before, but only saw the house and barn.

We stopped and got off the horses on the crest of a hill that's at the midpoint of our property. I pointed out the different landmarks and features of the ranch. After the visual tour, we sat on a big rock and enjoyed the scenery for a little bit. I explained my aims and goals for the ranch.