All Comments on 'Halfway House'

your poor punctuation skills makes it to hard to read. Find yourself an editor

Decent story but the bad grammar killed it for me.

This story was so badly done that it was almost impossible to read, clearly a very rough draft submitted too soon.

I good story tide a in the hands of a writer familiar with high school English. Sadly this was a train wreck. I am surprised it got posted.

... "Anonymous" critics - ever heard the saying "If you live in a Glass Hoouse then don't throw stones"?

If you are going to criticise someone else's writing then make sure you get your own correct!!

The story may leave a great deal to be desired but some of the criticisms were just as bad!!

I don't post anonymously, so maybe this will get the point across better than those who do: This story was written really, REALLY badly. A glaring absence of punctuation of any sort. And when the author does include the occasional comma or period, it seems their placement was chosen at random! Run-on sentences. Inane, repetitive sentences. Misspelled words. It read as if it was written by a committee, using a cell-phone.

True, some of the comments were just as badly composed, but I suspect at least one or two may have been written poorly to be sarcastic.

I agree the grammar and spelling were awful (e.g Carol used her "tong" on him. I hope that did not hurt, too much). But why was there no discussion of the preggers and STD's? I know it is a fantasy, but your readers need to connect a little with your characters.

The grammatical errors in this story made it very hard to read. Not well written at all.

This is a good idea for a story, but the grammar is atrocious to the point that it is almost unreadable. An occasional slip-up in punctuation or mistyping can be overlooked,but not this level of lack of skill in the mechanics of writing.

The plotting is poor. The incidents are disjointed. Why no descriptions of the girls and the locale? How do the girls know you've been having sex?

So much wrong with this story.

Please find an editor for your next story.

I gave up halfway through. You had a good idea and spent the time and effort getting it down on the puter. That's the first step.

Spellcheck is not enough. See if you can talk one of the more experienced writers here to edit this story, discuss the changes with you so it stays your story, and re-post it. It'll improve your storytelling AND give me a chance to finish the story.

Good luck.

This could have been a good story but the terrible grammar killed it by making it unreadable.

Awesome. It's a dream scenario