All Comments on 'Hannah & Kyle Over the Edge Ch. 01'

Hey not bad a few more details other then that I look forward to the next chapter

sex scene is lacking of expression. It is almost blank. Only words, no feelings.

Does the character have some kind of speach problem? Indicated by "Pu-u-u-sssssyyyyy" and other similar kinds of bad spelling.

'speach' problem? You twit! The drawn-out 'pu-u-sss--yyyy' type spelling is not a word but a phonetic transcription of the sort of gasping sounds you expect in this situation, so spelling doesn't come into it. More to the point - grow up! This is an erotic story (and a good one) so the only thing rthat matters is the sex. Jerk off and quit criticising, especially if you can't spell yourself!

needed more background to tell who they are where they are living where the parents are and it needs a longer build up. this also needs an end so a second chapter is needed.

Quit writing. You can't.

The first person to comment did not spell speech correctly.

...never could understand people who leave comments like "Quit writing. You can't." There's nothing wrong with this story. A little quick, and I would have liked a little more foreplay, but I thought it was decently written and entertaining.

To the point without all the crap most stories start with. For all those who want charactor development and background buy a love novel. This is porn and a good one at that...

Really liked the story.

Nice first story.

Easy and sweet.

Build on it.

You can :-)

The concept is nice, build up was fine. Do continue this.

it's assholes like captronbob that ruin this site. THIS IS NOT A PORN SITE IT IS AN EROTIC STORIES SITE. erotic stories NEED proper build up and proper detail as well as a proper end this had none of them and needs a total rewrite.

About the same way as when I fucked my sister but we were in a hay barn

I appreciate the bite sized narrative. Makes me wish that I had a sister. Keep up the good work . . . .