All Comments on 'Hard Times: My Girl Sasha'

by susansnow

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mikeswivesmikeswivesalmost 3 years ago

Hard Times (Series)

This shows writing talent but it is, nonetheless, hard to read. It is a matter of style. A commenter on another story made a good point, i.e. the prose style is a lot like the poetry style. They implied that the prose seemed hard and abrupt. My observation is the prose style is repetitious. Each paragraph begins with a short declarative blunt statement. Same paragraph ends with another bunt but intentionally oblique sentence. The reader is constantly jarred and does not get to follow the story flow with ease. That said, I appreciate that the poetry and prose embrace a tension of great magnitude that is personal to the author. (Explained in the bio and alluded to in various works.) My remarks mean no disrespect or demeaning of what is real and important to the author. Authors are free to intermingle fictional and real feelings and stories to any degree they choose. I'm just saying that substance of the story would have a broader base and greater freedom to develop if the transition from one paragraph to the next allowed an idea to continue smoothly. Abrupt or nonsequitur elements are great devices to set the reader's mind to be alert for a big change or an important and demanding message. Use such devices sparingly and help the reader's mind and thoughts connect the beginning of the story to the end.

- BTW, I ain't no English teacher, so no need to assume I know what I'm talkin' about.

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Single female writer. Most of my work is an effort to unlock my true self from the trauma of a lifetime of violent experiences, both sexual and nonsexual. I enjoy using the prose poetry style but have been known to venture from and to form and category. I enjoy reading comment...

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