Harold Plays The Hero

"I will arrange that now. If you let me see my husband I will tell him what we will do."

"That sounds like a Queen talking. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Not now Colonel, except... Please let my guards take over responsibility for your prisoners. We will leave the cantonment in a few hours and return to the Palace. Some of us may be dead by then but in a covered litter who can tell who is alive and who is dead?"

"Officially I do not want to know what happens. Unofficially I must know. Can Harold and Lisa be witnesses for me?" asked the Colonel.

"Certainly. They will be always welcome as friends."

"Then I believe we have arranged the future of your state under benign English guidance. We will meet again soon when you become Queen."

The Colonel bowed low to Serena and we left him.

"We must go to my husband and tell him what is agreed and what we have to do," said Serena.

"That doesn't sound like a joint ruler!" I protested.

Serena laughed "No. But I'm not going to be a joint ruler. I'm going to rule. Your Colonel knew that I would rule my husband anyway. But his idea was right. My people wouldn't accept me alone. Even a joint ruler will be difficult for them to accept. I had expected to be the power behind the throne and to tell my husband how to rule. This way will be easier for me."

When we met her husband Serena drew him aside and they had a hurried conversation. Vishaladeva was obviously horrified by some of the one-sided discussion but Serena spoke sharply to him. He wilted visibly and then shrugged his shoulders. Serena beckoned us over.

"My husband has reluctantly agreed to the Colonel's proposal. We have to settle the fate of the rebels NOW, before we leave the cantonment. I'm sorry that you two have to be witnesses. It may not be pleasant."

"Rebellion is never pleasant;" I said "Whoever wins the results are usually bloody."

"I hope to reduce the blood-letting to a minimum." Serena said "If possible there will be no more blood at all and only a few deaths."

When we reached the room where the Rajah and Ranee were imprisoned the English guards had been replaced. Serena gave a few crisp orders and we were let into the room. The Rajah and Ranee were handcuffed back to back with a pillar between them. They were released and told to sit on the large bed which was the only furniture in the room. The Rajah's eldest son and his wife were brought in and sat next to them.

Serena spoke to them. "I am going to speak in English which I know you all understand for the benefit of these two who are here to witness our justice. My husband and I have decided that the Rajah and his heir must die for starting the revolt. Their wives will be expected and required to commit suttee."

She spoke directly to the Rajah. "You can choose how you and your heir are to die but you must be dead within the hour. I would appreciate it if you could die with dignity and in accordance with our traditions."

The Ranee whispered in the Rajah's ear. He nodded, whispered to his eldest son and daughter, who also nodded. Then he replied.

"Since I have been overthrown by a woman, aided by Englishwomen, it seems appropriate that I and my eldest son should die by yoni."

Serena and Vishaladeva seemed shocked. Serena recovered quickly.

"If that is your wish, so shall it be. Your wives shall be your executioners. Do they wish to throw themselves living on to your funeral pyre or do they wish to die now, once they have done their last service for you?

The two women whispered for a few seconds. The Ranee replied.

"We wish to die as soon as we have killed our husbands, in fact before we dismount. We ask that you, Serena, strangle us as soon as our last duty for our husbands is completed."

The Rajah spoke again "I am sorry, Serena, that I did not recognise the scope of your abilities. Had I done so, either the revolt would have succeeded with your help, or our people would be ruled carefully under English direction. I commend our people to your rule. I know that YOU will rule since your husband is not strong enough to do it. If he had been, either he would have supported me, or else he would have made his opposition clear. He vacillated which is no way to rule. To you alone I entrust the safety and well-being of our people. I am sure you will justify my trust. Now let it be ended. I have spoken."

The Rajah climbed on to the bed and lay down on it. His son lay beside him. Their wives undressed them slowly then bound each man tightly with their arms lashed to their sides. The Ranee mounted her husband's erection and slowly, carefully and gently aroused him to a climax. The heir was treated similarly but had not yet climaxed when the Ranee lifted herself off the Rajah's flaccid tool and on to his chest.

The Ranee took off her scarf, wiped it over her glistening yoni then gagged the Rajah with it. She positioned herself carefully with her yoni covering his mouth and nostrils then locked her legs behind his head, pulling him deep into her. Her muscles strained to hold him there as his forehead turned redder and redder as his breath ran out. His body jerked and juddered but his bonds and gag did not allow him to dislodge her straining grip.

As it became obvious that the Rajah had only a few seconds of life left, Serena positioned herself behind the Ranee, kneeling over the Rajah. Serena looped her scarf loosely around the Ranee's neck. The three of them held this position like statues while beside them the Rajah's son and daughter-in-law still coupled.

The Ranee inhaled deeply and shouted in dialect "It is finished!"

As the last word rang out Serena's hands moved swiftly. I could not see exactly what she did but the crack of the Ranee's neck breaking was unmistakable. Serena spoke quietly.

"Yes, father and mother, it is finished." A tear glistened on her cheek. She lifted herself off the bed. She and Vishaladeva lowered the Ranee's body so that it was lying on the Rajah's breast.

"Now, sister..." she started to say but her brother-in-law's wife interrupted.

"I know, sister. It is time. I was prolonging the moment so that the son should not precede his parents into the next existence. Children should not die before their parents."

As she spoke her husband shuddered underneath her. She quickly stuffed her scarf into his gasping mouth and clamped herself on him before he had a chance to draw breath. He died far quicker than his father and before Serena had time to position herself. His wife turned as Serena moved to her.

"Thank you, Serena, for allowing me one last ride. You will rule well until your time comes to meet us again. Now finish it!"

Serena's scarf whipped out quickly and the neck was cracked before I could see what Serena had done.

Again Serena and her husband placed the bodies together. Both of them were now crying openly. I glanced at Lisa. So was she. Even I couldn't stop a tear. Whatever their faults, they had died well.

Serena sent her husband out of the room with instructions. As far as I understood he was to send some servants to lay out the bodies and also to have all the rebel officers assembled in one place under guard.

While we were waiting for the servants Lisa asked Serena about death by yoni.

"Is death by yoni a normal custom, Serena?"

"No. It is usually done to a man who has been flagrantly unfaithful, to retrieve the wife's honour. Since she must commit suttee when he dies it is a drastic step for her to take. He doesn't know that it is to be done so the wife must catch him unawares.

I believe that the Rajah's father died that way. The rumour is that it was done to him by a dancing girl while he was tied to the gaddi in the Ranee's room. The then Ranee was too weak physically to do it herself. It didn't matter who had done it. However the man dies the wife must commit suttee. It was a long time before I was born since this Rajah has ruled for nearly forty years. I think that he - she pointed at the Rajah's body - arranged for his father to be killed because he was neglecting his duties to the people and becoming cruel and capricious.

If a wife has to kill her husband the normal way is to strangle him as I did for the women. The method is part of a woman's education in our country. As you saw, it is very quick and there is no time for struggling or resistance."

I chipped in "Why is the scarf used in death by yoni?"

"If not, the man may bite the woman. The desire to live is very strong in humans and even a loving husband would bite in his death throes. The scarf prevents him using his teeth. Some women do not use the scarf and stand the pain as a penance for allowing their husbands to stray. Some husbands who die voluntarily by yoni - although I've never know of any before these two - are said to ask not to be gagged so that they can express remorse to their wives. I think it would have to be a stupid woman who could trust her husband that far."

"What happens now?" asked Lisa

"The bodies will be prepared for the funeral pyre at noon tomorrow. The rebel officers will be offered a choice. They are required to attend the funeral under guard. Then they must choose. Either they swear fealty to my husband and I or they must go into exile, never to return. If they choose exile they have two days to leave and will be guarded until they do. They will be escorted to our border."

"Do you expect many of them to choose exile?" I asked.

"No. They were loyal to the Rajah or his heir. Now they are dead and we rule this country most will wish to serve us. They know that we could be much harsher and execute many of them - but why should we? They didn't fight us. They fought the English under direction from our rulers. It is fortunate..." Serena winked "...that the Colonel took precautions and no Englishman or woman was killed or seriously injured. The attack on the zenana was unexpected. Those who took part in it will be unpopular with the people for a while. Of course some of them died or were badly injured by you two and George. I think I can count that punishment enough."

The new King returned followed by a group of servants who set about cleaning the bodies. During the following discussion I watched the servants closely. They seemed to pay particular attention to the men's faces and necks.

The King explained that he had done as his Queen had ordered. A messenger had been sent to the city to arrange for the funeral pyres to be built and for the coronation to take place tomorrow evening. He had informed the Colonel's staff and the Colonel would attend.

He then spoke directly to us. "The Colonel sends his compliments to you two. He asks that you join him for dinner as soon as we have left the cantonments. You are of course guests of honour at our coronation."

I and Lisa thanked him. Serena added "Without you two and the others there would be no coronation. We shall always remember your contribution. Perhaps one day, Harold, you can give a demonstration of pistol shooting. I have never seen such accuracy under such difficult conditions."

"You saw it!" I exclaimed

"Yes. I saw it. From where you do not need to know. That pistol shot changed the revolt into a failure. The men killed were the fanatics who thought of the attack on the zenana. They were too proud to do it themselves, leaving it to younger men to take the blame. But you blew them up!"

The servants were still washing the late Rajah's face. I looked too closely so that Serena realised what was puzzling me.

She whispered in my ear, but Lisa could hear too: "Harold. They have to wash carefully because one of the disadvantages of being strangled is that your bladder and bowels empty themselves. The men were bathed with the flow from all three of their wives' orifices. Their wives had the final word!" She giggled "If they hadn't been already dead - the men might have been drowned!"

Lisa whispered in my other ear, loudly enough for Serena to hear ... "If a Queen keeps whispering in your ear you might die by yoni as well but I won't feel the need to commit suttee!"

Both of them laughed at my discomfiture. Some women seem to have a callous regard for the decencies. Maybe it's the mess that children make as babies that makes them so much less squeamish than men.

The rest of the events of that day went well for the new rulers. All the rebel officers pledged fealty to them. The bodies of the former rulers were taken by litter to the city. As they entered the new King and Queen were greeted by an enthusiastic crowd strewing flowers at their feet.

Lisa and I joined the Colonel for dinner. We reported what had happened to the Rajah and his heir. His only comment was "Not something Englishwomen would do!" I wasn't so sure. Lisa had a glint in her eye.

Lisa and I and a small group of officers attended the funerals. As the women were already dead there were no objections from the missionaries who might have caused trouble about the custom of suttee.

That evening Lisa and I attended the coronation as honoured guests. It was an unusual ceremony even for India. The Colonel had sent the Company's brass band. They played before and after the coronation and provided the fanfares to mark significant moments. I think that the local population found brass band music as incomprehensible as we found their traditional music.

The King and Queen crowned themselves. Serena crowned herself first, and then Vishaladeva followed. They then swapped crowns for a few seconds before each crowned the other.

There was a crowd of priests, priestesses and holy men to add sanctity to the occasion. I expected to be more interested in the famous temple dancers but to my disappointment, although their dancing was exquisite, they were all ladies of advanced years!

The Queen addressed the people in their dialect promising all the things that new governments promise. The King's speech was in different words but the promises were identical. The Colonel spoke in English, pausing for his words to be translated. He welcomed the new rulers as allies of the English and delivered congratulations from Her Majesty Queen Victoria. At least that is what he said. He should have said 'on behalf of Her Majesty' since Her Majesty will not know anything about the events for at least three months. Even then I doubt she'd be impressed enough with the doings in such a small part of her world-wide realms to send a personal message to the new rulers!

After the coronation we retired for dinner at the palace. All signs of the devastation caused by the powder barrel had been removed. Apart from a suspicious smell of paint the entrance hall was restored to its previous splendour. Even the zenana door bore its ornate wooden carvings again.

The dinner was less gluttonous than the previous Rajah's norm but beautifully presented. After the dinner a messages were given to the Colonel, to Lisa and I, asking us to attend the fealty ceremony in the throne room. We accepted.

The King and Queen were sitting on identical chairs, not gaddis. The Colonel was sat on their right side, one step down. Lisa and I were on their left also one step down. I hoped that the ceremony wouldn't last long because I was wearing my full uniform, cocked hat, sword and all. In the heat of the throne room I was sweating profusely. Lisa was glowing in her largest crinoline and court gown.

The procession of nobles giving fealty seemed endless. One by one they stepped forward, knelt on the lowest step and repeated their oath of fealty before kissing the hands of their King and Queen.

As the line continued to move towards the thrones I amused myself by trying to remember who each noble was, and what I knew about them. Some of the things I knew were unrepeatable in mixed company. Then I saw a face that I had seen only yesterday. I struggled to recall where. Then I realised. He had been the man who had thrown the gunpowder barrel from the balcony into the crowd. Yet here he was about to swear loyalty to the new rulers!

I whispered to Lisa. "Watch that man carefully. He was one of the ringleaders yesterday. Have you got your pistol?"

"Yes." She replied quietly, "But I need to be within two metres of him to be sure of hitting him."

"It may not come to that, but if it does, be ready to protect the King and Queen."

I stretched as if I was tired and loosened my sword in its scabbard. I hadn't brought a pistol.

As the man approached I looked at those immediately behind him. One had powder marks on his face presumably from yesterday's explosion. If there was to be an attack it must be now. I stood up just before the last man withdrew. The King, Queen and Colonel looked at me amazed that I should interrupt the ceremony. I drew my sword and saluted them. Then I swung around and put the point at the man's throat. If I were wrong I would be in disgrace! But if I was right...

The man fell back revealing that he was clutching a long dagger in his hand. The powder-marked man also pulled out a dagger.

I ran the first man through. The second tried to stab me before I could withdraw my sword but Lisa jabbed her pistol in his side and shot him. Both were dead instantly.

The palace guards rushed towards us with levelled spears. Serena shouted at them. They halted.

I turned back to the King and Queen and saluted again, this time with my sword dripping blood. As I did so, Lisa calmly reloaded her pistol's discharged chamber. Then we resumed our places, but I kept my sword out and Lisa held her pistol.

The line of noblemen seemed as stunned as everyone else. The guards searched the rest of the line but there were no other weapons found. The bodies were dragged away and the blood quickly wiped from the floor. The ceremony continued without further incident.

At the end of the ceremony Serena had a whispered discussion with her husband. Then she spoke to the assembly again, first in English and repeated herself in the local dialect.

"I regret that this demonstration of our people's loyalty should have been interrupted by an unfortunate incident. I thank our two English friends for dealing with it so efficiently. As a token of our thanks for this and other services to us they are appointed as friends of the state with the rank of nobles. They are to be treated as having precedence in this state immediately after the heir to our throne. They will have the right of access to us at any time."

There was a long silence as the gathering absorbed the enormity of the honour that had been bestowed on us. Then the shouting began. I was very nervous but soon realised that the shouts were congratulations. The shouts changed to cheering that was only ended by the bandmaster's hurried fanfare to the new nobility.

Then more fanfares were played as the King and Queen withdrew. As soon as they had gone the Colonel hurried across to us.

"Congratulations again to you two! I thought that you had gone mad when you drew your sword, Harold. Thank goodness you did. And Lisa - your pistol shot was as effective as Harold's yesterday. For once we English are popular in this state. I hope it stays that way. You as honoured nobles will have more effect than ever I can."

We made the deprecating noises of embarrassed heroes. Thankfully we were cut short by the arrival of a messenger commanding us to attend the King and Queen. As we followed the messenger the Colonel gathered the rest of the English people to return to the cantonment.

We were surprised to be met by Queen Serena completely alone.

"My husband is discussing with our officers whether the two assassins were acting alone or as part of a conspiracy. I have left him to do it because the officers will talk more freely to him at this time. They do not know me well enough yet to express themselves freely." She laughed nervously "They do not know how to deal with a Queen, especially one who killed her mother-in-law and sister-in-law yesterday. I am outside their experience! They will learn in time.