by whitemamba88
I love this story. I only wish that I could be Natalie. More please
A few more chapters would be great. As Miss Rhodes fate is still in the balance, will she ever be a free person again & who is currently controlling and why did they select Cody?
Also a proof reader should be used as there are several proper words wrongly used, spoiling the flow of the story.
Try to be more creative instead of just "a single tear" every time. But all in all, a very good erotica. Great story body, punctuation, and spelling unlike other erotica
Yes!! I totally agree make it BDSM
That would make my pussy so wet
I need a cock right now, or pussy :)
Keep it up
Interesting story
The concept is good but make it longer
Maybe tell us how he got captured and
Let the guys treat him like a real slut maybe
BDSM?
Good job
Great storie should have been told
A little slower and more details but I did love it
I would like you to continue writing. Not just for this storyline, but in general. I love the empathy you have for the female characters.
The writing improved greatly over the first installment, but I'm not one to go for the mega-chapter stories that populate this site. You do a good job of telling the story with few (if any) spelling or grammatical errors, which is a plus if you wanted to take this talent further. In some other story in the future, a more gradual change might be approached so that a continued tale wouldn't just dissolve into a orgasm-filled dialogue. Hold back some and let the ideas develop.
you are a great writer, would love another 3 or 22 chapters PLEASE........this seems to be a common story theme.....but somehow, your's is the BEST, all around....nice jub really,,,,,,,,more please!!!
mamba, please continue this great story......if only i could be magically changed in to a gorgeous female.........i'd be a cocksucker supreme!!.............and a few other thing too.!!!!