Helpless Sins Ch. 04

"Wow." She sighed as a shallow buzz fizzed in her brain, dulling her senses for a moment. "It's defiantly been a while." She added, tilting the cherry into the dish on David's chest to flick away the burnt ash. She watched as David drew his own to his mouth, sucking in the smoke like he'd been doing it forever and with a pop of his lips, blew a smoke circle high into the air. "Alright Mr. Professional..." She warned him. "So help me, if I see this become a serious habit with you..."

"What?" He cut her off as he flicked his own ashes into the dish. "No more sex?"

"No that punishes me too." Charlene giggled, trying to return her face to a mother's cautionary expression. "But I'll think of something." She half-heartedly threatened.

"I promise." He caved. "You can leave them in your nightstand if you want." He offered, suggesting subliminally that they could both of them, keep the cigarettes in reserve for moments like the one they were in. Charlene nodded in approval.

"Well..." She began, her thoughts drifting back to their situation. David propped himself up on one elbow to face her.

"Yeah we have to do this sooner or later don't we?" He answered, taking another hit off his cigarette slowly with a look about him that suggested to Charlene that he was already assembling his thoughts. She lay beside him silently, allowing him, in fact praying that he would take the lead on their conversation, because she still was at a loss as to how to begin. Too many thoughts had circulated through her mind since the first transgression between them and while she was relieved to feel that she still wasn't being burdened with any negativity about it at the moment, she couldn't really understand that either. "Alright well..." David began. "I suppose I've had one question on my mind since this all started happening, so if it's ok I'll start there." He offered. Charlene nodded in gratitude. She took another long drag off her cigarette and flicked it against the dish.

"Before I even get into how this all happened, I really want to know this. Are you sorry it did?" He asked sincerely. Charlene stared at her son for a moment, allowing the question to absorb. At once a complex series of present and past emotions flooded to the surface of her thoughts. After a moments accounting for them all she finally mashed out her cigarette and returned her attention to her son.

"If you had asked me that question even twenty-four hours ago my answer would have been yes." She finally replied reluctantly. David's face remained as fixed as poker players, careful not to reveal any emotion until she had finished. "I've spent the last few days staggering between being so hot for you that I couldn't stop touching myself, to staring into a mirror at someone I didn't feel like I knew, praying to turn back the clock and erase a terrible mistake."

"So you think it was a mistake?" David asked. Something about the way he interjected made Charlene fairly certain that he hadn't wished to hear that. She wished he had concentrated more on the fact that she had been relentlessly masturbating of late.

"Well I certainly know that I didn't wake up that day and make a conscious decision to have sex with you on purpose David. You're my son. I mean, who does that?" She tried to explain, certain that her words were just digging a nice hole for her to crawl into. David however didn't react and simply listened. "Anyhow I felt awful. Awful because I'd done it; awful because I couldn't help but want it again." She continued. "But I knew there was something undeniable about you; about us. I didn't really have a grasp on what that was but actually, I think it might finally make sense to me in a way."

"I'm not sure I'm following you." David queried, a bit puzzled.

"It came so naturally to us." Charlene explained. The words left her mouth like a revelation. "There was nothing forced about it, nothing awkward, I mean beyond the obvious... it was electric. It was incredible and it felt so natural. Feels..." She corrected herself. "It feels so natural. David I've never been with a man that sex came this easily with. I don't know whether it's because you're my son and I already love you so much but..." Her voice trailed off as Charlene heard herself ramble.

"I think I might have an idea what you mean." David consoled her.

"Anyhow, no. I'm not sorry. Not anymore, and I can't begin to tell you what a relief it is to be able to say that because I have been... an absolute train wreck for the last three days David." Charlene confessed as she reached over her son's body, fumbling her fingers into his pack of cigarettes for a fresh one and lighting it, as if in preparation to ask the most logical counter question. After a long deep inhalation of smoke she found the nerve. "So obviously I have to ask you the same thing."

"Whether I'm sorry that it happened?" David asked. "To be honest I've been more confused than sorry." He admitted, drawing out another cigarette for himself and lighting it. "I mean it just never occurred to me." He added, before sucking in a lung full.

"What didn't?" His mother asked.

"You." He answered flatly, waving off his mother's naturally affronted expression. "Having sex with you; having dirty thoughts about you. It never occurred to me." He clarified sincerely. "It's like you said; who does that?" He added, recounting her words. Charlene sat silently a moment, wondering for the first time how many people actually might have considered incest. "Before it actually happened, nothing of the kind had ever popped into my head where you were concerned. I mean mom, when you caught me jerking off I was so embarrassed."

"Actually, that's what first did it for me." Charlene confessed, feeling her face flush red.

"Really?" David asked.

"Oh believe me it was a mixture of emotion." Charlene corrected herself. "On one hand I was probably as embarrassed as you but on the other; David you have a gorgeous cock. I mean I had no idea!" Charlene bubbled as she reached out and placed her hand on her son's manhood, tugging on it gently. "Seeing it, well it made all the other thoughts I was having flood to the surface and before I knew it, fucking you was all I could think about." She admitted as she silently recalled the turmoil of enduring such erotic mental play involving her son. "And though I can't say I ever saw you through the eyes I do now, aside from your cock you are a very attractive young man. Frankly, I feel odd for not seeing it until now." Charlene continued to playfully stroke her son as she looked up into his eyes devotedly. Her shoulders felt lighter, free of days of built up fears and self loathing. There was a sense of peace in getting everything out in the open.

"See? Now that makes sense to me." David replied through the grin that her hand's affections was causing. I never looked at you like this before all this happened either and now I'm absolutely amazed at how sexy I find you." Charlene smiled broadly, unable to help the happiness that such a compliment provided. "So..." David sighed with a solemn and intent expression. "The most obvious question is... what now?" David asked mashing out his cigarette. Charlene did the same with hers.

"I don't want to stop." She confessed. "David I don't think I could stop if I did want to." She added, tugging on his cock with a bit more intent. David's face dissolved into a moment of bliss before he tried to refocus himself.

"I thought we were talking now." He grinned in pleasure.

"We are. I just can't keep my hands off you." His mother replied, laughing a little but savoring the feel of both of their slippery orgasms smearing between her fingers as she coaxed his cock back to its full state with slow strokes of her hand. "But..." She added suddenly. "I think we need to be a bit more careful."

"I was wondering about that." David replied through labored breaths as he tried to concentrate on the conversation despite his mother's efforts. "Are you on birth control?" He asked as his eyes began to flutter closed.

"No, and that's how many times now that you've cum inside me buster?" Charlene mused. David grinned sheepishly in reply with a shrug of his shoulders to indicate that he too had lost count. "I will go back on the pill but in the meantime..." Charlene warned.

"We need protection." David replied as he gently took her hand and removed it from his cock. Charlene looked back at him with a look of disappointment. "I can't concentrate while you do that." He admitted with a grin.

"I have condoms." She finally said through her protest, pointing towards her nightstand drawer. "I just never can seem to remember them when we need them." Almost immediately, Samantha's suggestion about anal sex came flooding into the forefront of Charlene's thoughts, bringing with it a new question. "David I actually have a serious question to ask you." She said solemnly.

"No better time than now then." He replied, reminding his mother that the topic of conversation was already a fairly serious one.

"Have you... discussed this with anyone else?" Charlene asked with a hint of worry in her tone, not that David might have a confidant that he could confess himself to, but rather how he might react to the inevitable confession that she did.

"Are you kidding?!" David stammered. "Who could I tell? It's not like I can just pal up to a buddy and be all like, hey man! How are you? I fucked my mother; what are your thoughts?" He added imitating himself jokingly. Charlene didn't laugh, but stared at him quietly. "Wait... are you saying you have? Who did you tell?" David asked, his tone becoming concerned.

"David I need you to understand; at first I was so conflicted about this that I couldn't tell up from down." Charlene began, trying to justify her breach in what David clearly considered a matter of confidence.

"Who Mom?" He asked again.

"I talked to Samantha and she was very helpful..." Charlene began but David cut her short.

"Mrs. Conner?!" He blurted out in amazement. "You told Ben's mom?!"

"She is my best friend." Charlene defended herself.

"Mom, remember when Mrs. Harris was planning to divorce her husband and because she confided in Mrs. Conner the whole church was talking about it before her husband ever had a clue?" David reminded his mother, illustrating in perfect detail the result of Samantha's ability to keep a secret.

"I know; I remember." Charlene sighed. "First of all Sam always had a grudge against Susan Harris since way back in the day and you know as well as I do that she's just the type of woman that doesn't let old gripes go so easily. David, I've known her most of my life and she's never done something like that to me. I know she's not the best at keeping things to herself but I assure you..." Charlene continued but was interrupted again.

"Not the best? She's actually one of the worst." David replied, his face welling up in sheer panic.

"David, she's thought about Ben." Charlene stated simply, ceasing her son's pre-prepared counter arguments. He stared at her confounded. Charlene nodded in the affirmative at the question burning through his eyes. "Yes, she's had dirty thoughts about Ben. She hasn't acted on them; come to think of it I kind of doubt she ever would. She seems to be having a fine time living it vicariously though me." Charlene laughed as she recalled Samantha's thirst for every tiny detail of her incestuous adventure.

"So she knows..." David asked.

"Everything." His mother replied. "In fact, if it weren't for Sam, we probably wouldn't be here right now. David I know it freaks you out, and to be honest it does preoccupy me as unwise to have told anyone else too, but I had to talk to someone about what happened between us or I was going to burst. If I could only convey the nightmare of emotions I was dealing with. You left and I had nobody. Well actually it didn't really start there." She realized out loud. "Anyhow she helped calm me down. She told me that the thoughts; the feelings I have for you were alright. She made me feel like I wasn't alone; like I wasn't a horrible freak! I really needed that. I needed to be... ok with it." Charlene sighed, understanding for the millionth time how much she owed Samantha as a friend.

"You said it didn't really start there." David asked after a moment's consideration.

"I talked to her for the first time about it after I caught you masturbating. Like I said, that's where it all began for me." She replied. "And since then, everything that's happened... well she's kind of coached me through it. David I promise you, she won't say a word to anyone." She related, hoping that the trust she expressed for Sam would carry over to her son's confidence. He didn't seem convinced.

"Well, you're a hell of a lot luckier than I am." David answered after absorbing everything he had learned. "I was up in the mountains with Phil. God knows I wanted to talk to someone about it, but I don't think Phil would have been my first choice."

"It's a girl thing." Charlene chuckled, offering some consolation to her son's obviously less fortunate predicament. "With us it comes easier to talk about things." Charlene explained warmly, deciding silently not to allude to the second half of the Samantha equation just yet.

"Better to introduce that at another time." She told herself, but at that moment, her arousal spiked somewhere deep inside her at the prospect of applying Samantha's suggestion and instruction about alternate sex with David. Charlene brushed the thought aside; they were still talking and she had more to ask. To say nothing of the fact that if David now felt half as connected to her as she did to him, revealing what she and Sam had done might have been viewed as some sort of twisted infidelity. As she considered it like that, Charlene almost felt guilty but resigned herself to staying silent on the matter so as to stay on track.

"Women have secrets for a reason." She thought to herself.

"Are you alright?" She asked, seeing if she could bring the topic to a close in favor of a new one.

"Yeah I guess. I was just, surprised that's all." David admitted. "I wouldn't think you'd dare talk about this with anyone."

"And I have no intention of talking about it with anyone else." Charlene reassured her son. "But I do have one other question for you. It's probably the least important one out of the lot but I do really want to know."

"Shoot." David replied. Charlene leaned in close and pressed her lips passionately against her son's, opening his mouth with her lips and moaning softly as her tongue tasted his before breaking away again.

"Where did you learn to make love like you do?!" She growled playfully offering her son's cock another pleasurable tug. David burst into laughter causing her to join him. He reached his arm out wrapped her up in it. Charlene sighed in comfort against his body and continued to happily play with his penis, which twitched delightfully at her soft touches.

"Well...um..." David began; his cheeks crimson with a boyish embarrassment.

"Oh come on!" Charlene exclaimed. "I hardly think you need to go all shy on me now." She added as she drew her hand up to her lips and adoringly licked a trickle of David's pre-ejaculate from her fingertips as though completely unable to help herself. "Ok I'll make this easier. How many girls have you been with?" She asked, returning her hand to his stiffening erection to gingerly stroke it up and down. He moaned and it swelled in her grip.

"Only two." He replied through ragged breaths. Charlene's eyes widened in amazement.

"Just two?" She replied, stroking his cock faster in her hands. David grumbled hoarsely in pleasure.

"The first was a girl I never actually told you about." David admitted. "Remember that school lock-in my junior year?" He continued. Charlene nodded and then propped her head up in curiosity.

"Wait... you're telling me you lost your virginity in your high school?!" She asked, truly stunned. "Wasn't that lock-in chaperoned?"

"Well yeah, but she and got to talking, and then we were making out and one thing led to another and..." He mumbled as Charlene released his cock and began to gently run her fingernails across his testicles.

"Well obviously you snuck away from the group." She remarked, coaxing him to continue.

"We snuck into my history class and did it on the teacher's desk." David laughed. Charlene stared up at him in amazement.

"And the second girl?" She enquired, wanting to hear more.

"That was Erin." David replied, shutting his eyes as he surrendered more to his mother's skillful fingers.

"Your ex? Well that makes more sense I guess. You two were together for a while." Charlene reasoned out loud. She remembered Erin well. A slender girl of extremely Greek decent with pretty features and silky dark hair that Charlene had once been very jealous of. Her manners were always exceptional. Charlene had always liked Erin and been sad for her son when things between them had gone south. "Well... you two must have had some serious practice because you my darling son are an incredible lover!" She complimented, tilting her head down to kiss David's chest warmly.

"Not as much as you might think, and it was nothing like this." David replied, sending a hot wave of self esteem through Charlene that made her blush.

"Nothing like this?" She repeated the statement. Charlene was suddenly alight with personal pride to hopefully be ranked supreme in her son's conquests, such as they were.

"Erin was great, but the sex was..." David stopped short with a look that suggested to Charlene that he was trying to be polite.

"Tame?" Charlene offered.

"I almost said boring actually." David laughed but stopped himself, drawing back to the same polite reserve. Charlene smiled at her son proudly, respecting the fact that even after a break up, he was more inclined to speak well of a person. "I was her first and even after things become easier between us, she was really reserved." David tried to explain. "I wanted to try to be more experimental; more intense. Erin on the other hand always seemed scared." He reflected, obviously hoping that the vagueness in his words would suffice his mother's curiosity. "So anyhow, there hasn't been anyone since her until you and the difference is indescribable." David lastly offered, hoping to shift the subject back in a direction he felt like discussing.

"Well I know you like older women." Charlene said, returning her hand to David's throbbing cock and continuing to coax his rich young pre-cum from the head.

"Huh?" David asked, taken aback slightly.

"I watched the movie I caught you jerking off to." Charlene admitted, leaving out the precise details of that event deliberately so as not to return to Samantha. David's face went red again, causing Charlene to giggle. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Actually it kind of helps me to know you are attracted to women my age." She offered, brining the color in his cheeks down a notch.

"Yes..." David whispered. "I do like older women more."

"Well I'm sure I feel nothing like Erin did." Charlene offered, fishing for the inevitable compliment with all the false coyness she could convey. David laughed.

"You're right. Nothing at all; so much better." He answered properly. Charlene groaned in spite of herself; her self confidence brimming over and carrying her arousal along for the ride.

"Is my pussy nice and tight like hers?" Charlene giggled, seeing how much she could get away with.

"Keep talking like that and we'll go again just to make sure." David replied with a deep growl in his voice. His mother's eyes widened in what she was certain would be easily confused with terror. "Or not..." David laughed, summing up her concern. "We don't have to if..." He began.