Here to Stay Ch. 05

Emmett woke up to find that his pleasure was not just in a dream. He weaved his fingers through Gavin's short hair as Gavin swallowed Emmett's entire length, causing Emmett to cry out and arch his back. Gavin played with Emmett's balls with one hand, and circled Emmett's rosebud with a finger of the other. This proved too much for Emmett, and Emmett tried to warn Gavin, but was unable to find the air or words.

"Ugh," Emmett mustered. Emmett's black world flashed to white as he came hard, breathing heavily and moaning quietly. Gavin felt Emmett's penis jerk in his mouth as the first rope of cum went down his throat. Gavin kept swallowing as Emmett shot again and again, unaware that anyone could ejaculate so much. When Emmett was finally finished, Gavin held his softening cock in his mouth, sucking and licking it.

"Gavin, stop," Emmett gasped, shuddering. Gavin released him, realizing his sensitivity, and crawled up to Emmett and enfolded him in his arms. They lay there, sated.

"Good morning," Gavin said with a smile playing on his words evident to Emmett.

"Paybacks are a bitch, you know," Emmett said, kissing Gavin again and getting out of the bed.

"Yes, you've warned me of that before. I look forward to anything you do to me to 'pay me back'."

"Gavin, seriously, that was truly . . . there are no words."

"You're welcome," Gavin said almost haughtily, kissing Emmett again. Emmett broke the kiss and caught his breath.

"Come on, you. You have to be to work in a couple of hours and I have to be at the studio today, as well," Emmett said, rising from the bed. Emmett's words went in one of Gavin's ears and right out the other. All he could do was stare to take in the sight. Emmett stood by the bed, his slender, muscular body glowing in the sunlight coming through one of the windows. The light sprinkling of hair all over his body glistened. Gavin's eyes traced over his man's shoulders, well-defined chest, flat stomach, narrow waist, and then back up to Emmett's mussed hair.

"When you're ready to talk instead of stare, I'll be in the shower." Emmett turned and walked into the bathroom, and Gavin watched his muscular, round ass disappear in the bathroom, then heard the shower turn on. Gavin stepped into the bathroom and relieved himself while talking to Emmett.

"I couldn't help staring, you know," he said. "The way you looked, you were practically begging to be thrown on the ground and taken advantage of." Gavin turned and saw Emmett through the small opening between the shower wall and the curtain, and his breath was suddenly stolen. He watched as the water cascaded over Emmett's hair and face, then trickled down his body. Realizing he couldn't bear to just watch, Gavin stepped in the shower quietly, turned Emmett around and kissed him, running his hands all over Emmett's wet body. Emmett broke the kiss and raised one eyebrow playfully.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" he questioned.

"I'm sorry," Gavin sighed. "I couldn't resist." Gavin pulled Emmett into a toe-curling kiss. When Gavin finally relented his assault on Emmett's mouth, he whispered into Emmett's ear tenderly.

"You have no idea how beautiful you are. You take my breath away every time I see you, every second you're with me. I love you, Emmett."

This time it was Emmett who pushed Gavin into the wall of the shower and initiated another voracious kiss. Gavin moaned from the contrasting sensations of the cold tile on the shower wall against his back and Emmett's hot flesh pushing against his front.

"Emmett . . ." Gavin sighed, wrapping his arms around the man he adored. Emmett's fiery mood was suddenly extinguished as a more tender disposition took over. They held one another as the hot water flowed over them, kissing occasionally. Finally, Emmett kissed his way down Gavin's body, feeling every peak and valley of muscle and skin on Gavin's upper body under his lips. Emmett ran his tongue down Gavin's stomach, stopping to explore his navel, then continued down to just above Gavin's pubic hair. Emmett bit the bare skin gently, evoking a scream from Gavin as he fell back against the wall of the shower. Emmett wrapped his mouth around the tip of Gavin's erect penis, moving his tongue underneath. Gavin, who normally prided himself as having control, flew over the edge as Emmett slid a finger gently into Gavin's ass. Gavin thrust forward, and Emmett swallowed every drop of release while slowly drawing his finger from Gavin's pulsing hole. Gavin, weak from the intensity of the orgasm, slid down against the wall of the shower. Emmett caught him and pulled him back up, kissing him amorously.

"See what happens when you wake me up?" Emmett smiled.

"Emmett," Gavin said, opening his eyes.

"Yes?"

"Emmett," Gavin said again, looking into Emmett's deep brown eyes and seeing the love and smug satisfaction. Gavin put his hands on Emmett's shoulders and ran them up his neck as they kissed. Emmett felt the care and passion behind Gavin's kiss as their tongues intertwined and hot breath mixed together.

Finally, after what could have been ten seconds or ten minutes, Emmett turned and grabbed the soap, but Gavin stepped up behind him and plucked the bottle from his hands.

"May I?" Gavin asked softly, opening the bottle and pouring some soap on the washcloth. He lathered the soap and washed Emmett thoroughly, slowly, and affectionately, enjoying every moment of contact and exploration. Soon, Emmett pulled the washcloth from Gavin's hands.

"My turn," he said, almost as if giving an order. They delighted in each other, running their hands all over each other, each shampooing the other's hair, and kissing each other romantically under the hot water and steam. They dried each other off with warm, fluffy towels, reveling in the perfection.

Emmett grabbed the top of Gavin's towel, now around his hips, stopping him from walking away. Gavin froze, almost backing away, and Emmett felt it.

"What?" Emmett asked. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Let's get dressed," Gavin answered shortly. Emmett saw it was not the right time to press the matter, and walked with Gavin to the closet.

--

The next week passed uneventfully. Gavin seemed far away, causing Emmett's insecurities in himself to rise, wondering if he had done something wrong. Gavin still told Emmett that he loved him, but it didn't have the same drive behind it, and his kisses seemed almost distant and were always quite short.

"What's the deal, Em?" Cassidy asked, looking into Emmett's thoughts through his eyes.

"Gavin and I were kissing a few days ago, and when he walked away, I grabbed his towel around his hips to stop him. He seemed tense as soon as I did it. He hasn't been the same since."

"That's how Rick always used to stop him, by grabbing his waistband, whether playfully, seriously, at home, in publ--" Cassidy stopped in her tracks when she saw the looks of confusion and anger flash over Emmett's face simultaneously.

"Who the hell is Rick?" Emmett asked.

"Oh, god. Why do I always have a knack for letting people in on something they don't know?"

"Cassidy, who the fuck is Rick?" Emmett asked again.

"Rick is Gavin's ex."

"What?" Cassidy saw that Emmett was crushed. Understandable, since this information should have come from Gavin when they had talked about previous relationships. "When?"

"A little more than eight years ago."

"Why?"

"Emmett, you--"

"Why, Cassidy?" Emmett persisted. Cassidy was silent for a moment before she went on.

"Gavin cheated on him," Cassidy said quietly, bluntly. "He had a big night, and he made a mistake. He's regretted it since."

"I'm so goddamned naïve." Emmett tortured himself, blown away. He knew Gavin had been around, but he had never imagined that he could do that to someone he cared about.

"Emmett--"

"Do you have somewhere to be?"

"Yes, I do. How did you--"

"I'm not a dipshit, Cass, contrary to everyone else's beliefs. Please, go. I need some time before Gavin comes home," Emmett said bitterly.

"For what it's worth, Em, he loves you. A lot," Cassidy said as she kissed his cheek. She showed herself out, shutting the door behind her. Emmett sat there for a few minutes, then slid his plate and glass to the floor. He heard them shatter just as he did at that moment, melting to the floor on the other side of the counter, resting his back against the cabinets. No sooner had he started sobbing when the door opened.

Gavin saw the shattered plate and glass, but not Emmett, and was immediately alarmed.

"Emmett?" Gavin called. Emmett tried not to hear the concern that was evident in Gavin's voice. Gavin heard Emmett's voice come over the counter.

"At what point was it not clear that I was interested in a lifetime with you, and only you?" Emmett sobbed. Gavin stepped around the counter and saw Emmett's tear-streaked face. He was shocked by Emmett's admission, but also crushed by the scene in front of him.

"Emmett, what's going on? What are you talking about?"

"I can't do it, Gavin. I just can't."

"No, oh, god, no. This isn't happening. Tell me what's wrong first so we can work it out."

"I just can't take the uncertainty and doubt, because I don't know if they will ever leave me. I'm better off without them." Now it was Gavin who got a little angry.

"Uncertainty? Doubt? This coming from a blind man who's made a life for himself and has faced real uncertainty. This isn't uncertainty, Emmett. You're just too goddamned stubborn and insecure to let me in and see I'm not leaving."

"Insecure? No, my blindness and life I'm secure with, unlike you and having someone grab your towel around your hips. Which one of those is harder to cope with? It doesn't sound to me like there's even a comparison. Or is it just that Rick isn't out of your system, and that reminds you of him? 'Not leaving.' Would you really stay, or would you just do what you did to him?" Emmett immediately felt a pang of regret at the words, but pushed it away with his fury. If he could have seen, he would have watched the surprise, and then darkness creep over Gavin's demeanor.

"Fuck you," Gavin spat out. "If you haven't seen by now that I'm not interested in anyone but you, you never will. You think you're so damn sly that since you're blind, you can just shut everyone else out when you want; after all, it's only a blink away. And for what? For what fucking reason, Emmett?" Gavin shouted.

"To hide your cowardice, that's why. Well, Emmett, I hope you're proud of yourself. Not only did you meet your match and someone who can stand up to you--and maybe the only one you'll ever meet--but you just succeeded in pushing him away." Gavin walked to the door, tears in his eyes.

"Leave," Emmett said through his own tears. "Get the fuck out. You would've anyways; you people always do."

"You people? Is that all I am to you?" Gavin asked. "Yeah, I fucked up the last relationship I was in, and I regret it, but I would've stayed here, Emmett. The difference is that you didn't let me. You were almost open to me. Almost. But I don't want almost. I want all the way. Everyone deserves that." Gavin took a breath, and continued quietly. "Congratulations, Emmett. You've reduced me to nothing, and why? To prove a point? Why? I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted, everything you need. I'm even sorrier I'll never get my heart back. I never thought with you that I was wasting it."

"Wasting, huh? You're sorry you wasted it on someone like me?" Emmett continued quietly. "Just go, Gavin."

"I'm going," Gavin said, walking out the door. Emmett slumped to the floor, practically bawling. After a few seconds, he got up, ran out the door, through the halls, down the stairs, and into the lobby.

"Gavin!" Emmett called. He dashed out the main doors and heard Cecelia's voice.

"Emmett--"

"Gavin!"

"Emmett?" Gavin said, turning around. He saw Emmett on the other side of the street, tears streaming down his cheeks, looking more than forlorn. Part of him wanted to walk away, but he stayed. "Emmett, what are you doing? Go back inside."

"Gavin, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know I can't take back what I said in there, but I need you to know I'm sorry. Inside, I knew you weren't going to leave me. It's so hard for me to trust, though, without being able to look in your eyes. I overreacted, Gavin. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Oh, god, Emmett . . ." Gavin breathed.

Without thinking, Emmett walked onto the street to run to Gavin. He heard Cecelia's voice.

"Emmett Clark, get back here this instant--"

"Emmett, no!" Gavin cried, interrupting Cecelia. Gavin stared in horror, as Emmett didn't even hear the car coming.