Hero Looking For Redemption

"You told them about us?"

"They're my best friends, Ben. I had to tell someone. It was so fantastic, I couldn't hide it."

I stopped and cleared my brain for a moment. If they were ok with it, two allies were better than one and Kate needed her friends. But that made my need to talk to Jan more important.

"Are you mad?"

"A little bit but I'll get over it. Though, if Jan has a crush on me, I need to talk to her."

"Why?" Kate asked, looking slightly suspicious of me.

"I can't hurt her feelings, Kitten. She's your friend and I have to make sure she's ok."

She kissed me and rested her head on my shoulder. "Thank you." She went back to arranging the fries on a cooking sheet then put them into the oven. "They'll probably ask you a bunch of questions, or at least Cari will."

"About what?"

"Making sure you're not just using me."

I smiled at her. "I wouldn't dream of it, even though I kinda am."

"How so?"

"I'm hoping that being with you will help me forgive myself for... Everything, I guess."

She came back to me and hugged me tightly, kissing my lips again. "You will, Benny. Until then, I've got enough forgiveness both of us."

I just held her until the burgers and fries were done. We made our plates and went to the living room. I sat on the couch and was surprised that Kate sat down right next to me, putting her right leg over my left. I don't know why I was surprised, she had said we were in a relationship now. My heart told me I loved her and my brain translated her image as the most beautiful girl in the world. If they were in agreement, then who was I to argue?

We started watching the game and we were quickly yelling at the TV, though Kate yelled more and louder than I ever could. It was a divisional game between Washington and Philadelphia and we cheered for Washington. Though we didn't have a favorite team, we did have teams we didn't like and we didn't like Philadelphia.

"Oh, that was holding!" Kate yelled. "Call offensive PI, dammit!"

I was laughing at her but had to agree. One reason I never liked Philadelphia was, when they played at home, everyone was on their side.

"Throw a flag!"

This was why I loved watching football with her. As I watched her throw French fries at the TV, I realized it was one reason I loved her.

A commercial break finally quelled her anger and she sat down. Kate closed her eyes and caught her breath. Then she caught me staring at her.

"What?" She asked, her cheeks turning red.

"Just you, Kitten."

She leaned into me and I put my arm around her. I may not be sure about the relationship with her but it did feel good to have her in my arms when we weren't sleeping.

I heard two car doors slam and I felt Kate tense up.

"Oh crap." She jumped off the couch and ran upstairs. As she disappeared on the second floor, the front door flew open.

"You ignorant, selfish jerk!" Cari yelled at me.

I jumped off the couch and started cowering in the corner. Cari jumped over the couch and started charging at me.

"She trusted you, you insensitive asshole."

Cari was right in front of my face, her finger inches from my eyes. Jan had come in and sat down on the couch without saying a word and not able to look at me.

"I am going to break your dick off and play-"

"Stop!" Kate yelled as she came down the stairs wearing a pair of yoga pants. "Cari, stop, please."

Cari stepped back as Kate got in front of me. Then Kate wrapped her arms around my waist. "He made it up to me. We're good, I swear."

Cari just shrugged her shoulders and walked away.

"Holy crap!" I yelled, still afraid for my life.

"Sorry," Cari said. "She was so torn up over you today." She flopped down in the recliner and put her feet up on the coffee table.

"I know," I said, still afraid to move. Even as

Kate let go and went to sit on the couch, I didn't move.

"Believe me, Cari, he knew," Kate said with a smile to me. "We're clear on a lot of things now. He's mine."

I looked at Jan and saw her shift uncomfortably.

"Can I move or is someone going to jump me?"

"I will," Kate said with a mirthful smile on her face. "But later."

Jan got up and went to the kitchen. Kate started to go after her but I waved her down.

"Hey," I said as I walked into the kitchen.

She was getting a glass of water and staring out the window. Jan looked at me but didn't say

anything.

"I wanted to talk to you. Are you ok with me and Kate being together?"

"She's your sister, Ben."

"I love her, not just as my sister."

"I guess it's fine then."

"What's bothering you about it? Did you have a crush on me?"

"No!" she snapped. "Yes. I don't know."

I walked over to her and looked into her eyes. "I'm right here, Jan. You can always talk to me."

"I'm jealous, ok."

I wouldn't rush her so I just stood there, looking at her from the corner of my eye.

"Since Kat and I have been friends, I've seen the way you two act. Before all of this loving stuff, I mean. You protect her, you look out for her. All of the brotherly stuff."

I may have been slow with girls not too long ago but I was finally learning. "You don't have a crush on me, you wanted a brother?"

Jan nodded her head. "It's been just me and Mom since Dad took off. She does her best and so much more but it would be nice to have someone that looks out for me, someone I could talk to about things that I'm too embarassed to talk about with my mom. Someone that'll scare the crap out of any boyfriends I have."

I took Jan in my arms and hugged her. "Jan, I'm always here for you, always have been. We don't know each other that well but I do care about you a great deal. If you want to think of me as a brother, then do it and you'll be my sister."

"But I am the sister with benefits," Kate said from the doorway.

All three of us chuckled but I didn't let go of Jan.

"I'm always here for you, Janey. And I can scare the crap out of any boy. If not me, Kate will."

"Damn right," Kate said.

"Thanks, guys. I'm sorry."

"No worries, sis," Kate said.

Jan went back to the living room and I just stood there. Kate walked over to me and smiled up at me.

"You're amazing," she told me.

"I try."

We went back to the couch and I sat between Kate and Jan. Jan scooted closer to me and put her head on my shoulder. Kate put her head in my lap and I stroked her hair.

"You know what," Cari said, "that isn't fair."

"You've got 3 brothers," Jan said. "Not to mention 2 sisters. I've got no one."

"You've had me since kindergarten," Cari replied.

"You're my sister, Cari, but it's nice to have a brother."

Cari just huffed and puffed in the chair.

"Cari, do you want to sit with us?" I asked.

She smiled and jumped out of the chair. I didn't know where she was going to sit. Cari got an idea and sat down at my feet. Then she took my legs and wrapped them around her.

"Good now," she said.

We watched the rest of the game that way and some mindless reality show. It was actually nice to sit with them, like I actually had a connection to the world. My only worry was how Kate would react once the girls left.

"So, that was nice, right?" I asked as I locked the front door.

"Hmm," was her only reply as she walked upstairs.

I hung my head. "I'm in deep trouble."

Slowly, I made my way upstairs. Out of fear, I went straight to my room and sat on my bed. It didn't take long for me to screw up.

"What's with this?" Kate asked.

"Are you mad at me, Kitten?"

"Why? Because you have some weird idea floating around in your head about my friends?"

"What idea?"

"I'm not sharing my boyfriend with my friends and we're not doing any three ways."

"Oh geez, Kitten. That wasn't what I was thinking. Oh, god, I don't want your friends. I don't want any freaky three way with them. I know it's every guy's fantasy but I love the idea of being yours and want you to be mine. Only yours and only mine."

She walked over to me and sat on my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissed me. "That was perfect, Benny. You are mine and I'm yours."

I kissed her again and and rested my head on her shoulder.

"Don't get too comfortable, your sister is still in high school and has class tomorrow."

Kate stood up and started walking towards her room. She paused for a moment in the hallway and looked back at me with that smile. I followed her into her bedroom and stripped down to nothing. Kate saw what I had done and reluctantly followed suit.

"Just because we're getting into bed naked doesn't mean anything is going to happen," she told me.

It took me a minute to understand what she had said, my brain shut off as I looked at her. There had to be a flaw somewhere on her body but I couldn't see it.

"See me naked and your brain shuts off?"

"You're sexy," I pointed out as I crawled into bed. "Any guy looking at the perfect body of anangel would be brain dead."

She crawled into the bed. "Just because you compliment me doesn't mean anything, either."

I moved to the middle of the bed and she stayed on her side.

"Do you really want to stay away from me all night? Can you stay away from me?"

Kate scrunched up her nose in anger. "I don't like you or your logic. Logic stinks."

I held my arms out to her and she moved into them. I rubbed her back and kissed her forehead. The way her body felt against mine was amazing.

"Still don't like me?"

"Yes."

I kissed her lips and felt her relax. "Then this is going to be a long night for you, Kitten."

"Just don't let go and I'll be fine."

"Never."

She kissed me and snuggled into my chest. Her eyes began to close and I felt her body fall asleep as mine did the same.