All Comments on 'Hey Big Brother Ch. 09'

give us more. i want to see the end!

This is one of my favorite series and would like more of it

the best storie i have red so far continue them pleas

Overall good story but you need to rewrite chapter 4 and remove the aftermath of the 3some with Darren. It completely takes away from Matt and Sarah and makes her seem to be a whore and Matt just see her as a peice of ass.

From Chapter 3 to Chapter 4 literally overnight this Darren appears as a third wheel to a threesome that apparently occurred at the end of Ch3 but is not recorded. Although there is a suggestion Darren fucked her ass.

Huge error in the storyline!!! A massive lacuna.

I agree that you should edit the story and remove Darren from Ch4, he is not needed at all for the storyline to continue.

For heavens sake proof read your work prior to submission.

With the MASSIVE EXCEPTION of including Darren for reasons I cannot fathom, as in love Sarah and Matt are, that was just creepy, this was a romantic story, I really enjoyed it. Nice work!