All Comments on 'Home for the Holiday Ch. 04b'

Great story!

This part is very similar to the scene from Sara's Car Trip: one of my favorite stories.

Again its simply brilliant - thank you!

I can't tell you what to write, because I could never write like you. BUT PLEASE Update Soon. I love you work, I love how you tease, I know the act of intercourse is sometimes your climax but please keep us going a little while longer.

The way you tease is bliss. somehow better than real life. I love all of you writings. Even though you know the outcome in advance the re-reading still does it every time.

Can't get enough. Thank you

I don't normally read long submissions. Yours is among the best I have read, long or short. You are not interested in tacky or obscene. You do not degrade your women or endow anybody with perfection or uncommonly large parts. You know that perfection exists in our minds, not in our flesh. And thank you for good spelling and for not using the porn vernacular.

I find the most pleasure from beginnings...first time, first swing, first group. First time incest is especially compelling.

Something I think you could do well is first time with friends' mom. Male or female. Whatever, keep doing it.

Please Keep going with this story. they need much more sex together like Sara's Car trip.

At the beginning of the story I thought Rachel was married?

Where is her husband? Keep this going but keep the husband in the story too?!?

but it was so good! I'm normally critical of spelling and grammar but this story is a gripper. I can feel Rachel rubbing my cock! Do please proof read your whole tale and re-submit it. It will be so much better.

What a wonderful series! I loved the different 4 chapters. Leave the husband out. It is much better without him. I had to reread all chapters several times, hard and wet the whole time. Great stuff. Keep writing!

You write the most amazing stories.

PLEASE write more! :-)

Physical without devolving into mechanical, sensual and passionate and yet possessing a kind of serenity. I sound pretentious, but this is what I was thinking as I read this. Your buildup is nice and slow (as I noticed with the Sara's Car Trip stories as well), and all the more believable for it.

Keep writing, please. Even without the sex, your work is worth reading. With it...well. Heh. Keep writing.

that was amazing chapt 5?

Your stories always make me so fucking wet! God if you fuck like the guys in your stories your girlfriend is one lucky fucking woman! Xx

Very hot!!!!

WHAT HAPEND TO THE HUSBAND?

Hey, I really am diggin this story... going for chapter 5? (a question if not yet being uploaded or a request if your still thinking about writing it)

As always your stories have me sitting with a ragging hard on and I just can't get enough

more more more!

Delicious and worth savoring.

Keep it coming.

great story... keep it coming!

I was also wondering about the absence of the Husband.... what happened to him? They sleep in separate rooms?

Some of the most superlative, sensuous writing in all of Literotica. But go back and delete the husband from Part I. He aint needed at all. And if you feel like adding more - do!!

You are very good when you write from your own imagination. This stuff where you take "requests" just ends up all jumbled and confused. Like what the hell happened to her husband in this alternate ending? Writing erotica well is a craft and you have a gift for it. This turned into hacking away with a bunch of made-to-order porno scenes. At least the peanut gallery was semi-pleased.

Go back to your own muse like in the early Sara stories. Please.

Your stories are always well written. I enjoy the erotica, plot, execution, and storyline!

It's like being lured into a sexual web - so good you never want it to end.

good story but 4b is a bit inconsistent. also, blake is in ch 1 but doesnt exist after

First, they're on the couch. Then he's in his bedroom. Then they're back on the couch. Then they walk upstairs to their bedroom doors. She has a night gown on. Then she's naked. Then she has it back on.

Well?

absolutely perfect. with part 4B its even better

The premise of this story is great; very good in fact. The theme is good and the plot is great. All the circumstances are rather realistic!

However, the "Continuity" Editor--the person responsible for uniformity and seamlessness throughout each sentence, paragraph, page and chapter, i.e., Rachel is married in chapter 01, but there are many indications the remainder of the story that she is not married and has never been--should have been fired--yesterday!!

The many issues of continuity (or lack thereof) causes the story--the "feel" a reader gets as to the trend and theme and messages the story wants to present--to rise and fall, fade in and fade out, continuous pauses and re-reading of words and sentences and paragraphs in order for the reader to maintain a sense of what he/she has read, in relation to the actual printed words. Result?? Lack of well edited continuity! David is continually conflicted; he's filled with guilt one minute and the next he's happy about what he's done. Rachel has the same conflicts of not wanting to fuck, but gives in without any or much persuasion.

Overall, David and Rachel have finally reached the carnal consummation of their two day affair, through often repeated actions, foreplay, scenes and self-recriminations! Unfortunately, they will not live happily everafter! Most probably, even after today or tonight together or apart, they will not even be happy in their association of just being friends, or as siblings, and maybe not even as acquaintances! Thus, the ultimate queston of their future as sibling lovers!! Will their affair end now, or is there life after the five chapters of their eventual "reluctant" fuck? So sad and sorrowful for the characters! Of course, David is addicted to his two-week old "love" affair with fucktoy-girlfriend Diane, as he endlessly anguishes over and questions his NEED to fuck his sister, during the short one week he is away from fucktoy Diane!!!

That's a very very sexy story

..The sexual details over-ride the story continuity.

Thank you. Great read.

certainly know

how to balance between the constant struggle to avoid the forbidden fruit yet being unable to resist it either. You are an awesome writer. Thank you

You have done it again another chapter or ten would be great.Thanks Badboy was really entertaining.

...I think I prefer the other one. It was more of a tease, and more inventive. It also begged for more, since it left us hanging.

Regardless, this may be my favorite story of yours. Great descriptions.

"I am driving to Rachel's house, my sister and her husband's house. "

What happened to the husband all week? He disappeared two seconds and she jumps the brother she's fought with all her life???

He's jealous and somewhat "hot and bothered" at her choice of evening attire in the first chapter, so if she returns at 11pm goes in the bedroom to change, a real husband would never let her out of the room, and certainly would have dampened the courage of the sibs with him home.

Also - unrealistic that a man buys the in-laws house and sleeps in a kid room while the parents who moved out (without any bedroom furniture) would have their pristine-ly unchanged room to return to for Christmas once a year.

Dump the character and improve the flow without the inconsistency. Sis can just have taken over the house - whatever.

this one was a bit more realistic i think. i did like the idea of rachael giving him a bj while he was having phone sex. lol this went right into my favs at the ending of the first chapter.

This was a wonderful description of them becoming lovers; at the least incestuous partners. Both were more than satisfied and the final words seemed to tell it was continuing.

This story was AMAZING!!! I REALLY loved the interaction between the brother and sister!!

The only thing that I could ask for would be ANOTHER CHAPTER to continue where the chapter 04b left off!!!

If you do write another one, please let me know, alljones124@gmail.com

A FOREVER FAN!!!

But I only support affairs when the partners either have an open relationship or a loveless one. For the sake of my enjoyment of this series, I'm going have to assume the following conditions: David is not such a little man-child bitch anymore; him having the moral decency to end his relationship with Diane; and Rachel and Blake's marriage is not a happy one.

With that being said, more please!

5/5

Brilliant sensitive writing, well done and thanks.

WOW ! Do you ever have a way with words. The dialog and the use of one or two word exclamations, along with the most amazing description of sex acts, creates more emotion in the reader than I ever thought possible. You are truly a master in this genre. Reading your stories is so much fun, to be addictive. I so wish you'd continue. What comes out of your brain is so sexy and intense that while reading it I have trouble breathing and am so turned on I can hardly stand it. WHEW !!

Thank you for such enjoyable, erotic stories. A 10 on a scale of 1-5. 😊😊😊😊😊

Knock her up it's the code of the north south east and west.

enjoyed it very much. looking forward to see if they continue when their parents return. great job. hope you keep it up.

...oh, and content, of course. Man, I hope he writes a lot more stuff 'cause I'm going to RIP through his entire opus over the next few days. Twenty stars.

Plz continue teasing play like this some more, may be till there parents come. Then make them do the real play. So erotic.

Very Hot and we’ll written. But what happened to Rachael’s Husband ?. He was there in Ch 1 and then he was not there.

The original ending was much better.

It sustained the tease that had been building from the very beginning of the story (excellent pacing, by the way), and the scene where Rachel came into David’s room while he was talking to Diane was white hot.

I really enjoy your work. It's a really hot read.

A good set of stories and your build up was good. It got to the point they both wanted it and I think they will continue the game