Honor Thy Mother & Thy Father Ch. 04

"Susan, I believe that is none of your business."

"So, it has been that long. Would you like me to introduce some of my girlfriends to you?"

"If you start doing that to me, so help me God, I will tie you to that fence post again, and use the cane on you."

"You can't do that to me anymore, I am pregnant."

Amanda screamed, "Susan, you are pregnant?"

She realized her mistake, but said "Yes, about six weeks, maybe a little bit more."

Amanda came around her desk, squealing with joy. She grabbed Susan around her waist, and started dancing with her, around the room. Everyone in the building looked to see what the yelling was about. Amanda screamed, "Susan is pregnant."

Sergeant was pushed aside like a cow pie, as everyone gathered around Susan to congratulate her. They asked her who the father was, and when she was getting married.

When she told them that she was getting married that morning, everyone said they were going to be there.

Sergeant yelled, "Who is going to guard the city?"

They turned to him and said, "You are."

Amanda said, "He cannot guard the city. He is the maid of honor, and we have to find him a dress."

"Like hell, I am wearing my uniform to the wedding."

"The maid of honor cannot wear a uniform. She wears a dress."

The crowd started closing in on Sergeant, and he started to back away. "Don't you touch me; you still work for me, and the city. I will not stand for this abuse. Back away people. Back..."

Males and females alike pounced on him, while laughing hysterically. They put him on their shoulders and carried him out of the front door, down the main street to a bridal shop four blocks away. It was not open yet, but the owner lived upstairs from his shop. One of the police officers went upstairs and knocked on his door. When he told the owner what they needed and who he needed it for, he ran downstairs and opened the shop.

Sergeant was held spread eagle, so the owner could take his measurements. When he was finished, he said to the crowd, "Strip him down to his shorts."

The women took great pleasure in accomplishing this task. Susan did not take part, but she looked at her cousin, with great pride. For a forty-three-year-old man, he was in wonderful condition. Any woman would be proud to take him by the arm.

The owner looked at the women and said, "What size chest, shall I give him?"

Sergeant yelled, "No!" It was the last word he said, because they covered his mouth with tape.

The women giggled, and started yelling out numbers. Finally, they agreed a 46 Double D would be appropriate for his size.

The owner went into the back of the store. He pulled out a strapless, adjustable bra, and stuffed it with Styrofoam. He put it around Sergeant's chest and back, pulled it tight, and adjusted the clips properly. He turned him around to show the women, and a roar of laughter filled the room.

The next decision was the gown itself. Did the women want it floor-length, knee-length, or mid-thigh?

The vote was not even close. Mid-thigh won easily.

Sergeant's eyes opened wide and then crossed. He thought his humiliation was bad before. Now they were going to show his hairy legs to the world. He thought nothing could be worse. He was wrong.

"Ladies, for your final decision; what color would you like the gown to be?"

It was unanimous on the first vote. "Pink!"

Sergeant knees gave out. If it were not for the men holding him up, he would have been face-down on the floor. All they had to do now was hand him a large lollipop, put a bow in his hair, and he would look like a little girl.

He did not get the lollipop. However, they put a blonde wig on his head, with huge curls, and put a bright pink bow on it. His transformation from the most macho of men, to a little sissy girl was complete. Cameras flashed, and cell phones took pictures. He was immortalized forever, and there was nothing in this world he could do about it. He tried to remember who had first mentioned the words 'Maid of Honor.' He grinned when he saw Alan's face. It would be the shortest marriage on record, because he was going to be dead after he said the words 'I Do.' Then he remembered that Susan was pregnant, with his child. He had to find a substitute to kill. He could not kill Amanda, because Joe would kill him. However, if he killed Joe first, then he could kill Amanda. After he killed Joe and Amanda, he could start killing everyone that took him to the bridal shop. What was he thinking; where would he be without a police force and a secretarial staff. Maybe he should just kill himself, so he would relieve himself of this embarrassment. No, he did not like that idea at all. He would just beat the shit out of Alan. He liked that idea best.

They removed the tape from his mouth and asked him how he liked his new look.

He smiled at each of them and said, "There is going to be a budget meeting very soon, and the town Council will be very happy to hear that each of you has agreed to take a 10% cut in salary to help balance it. Naturally, that does not include me, because I was the one that negotiated it. I will get a 50% increase, because of my negotiating skills."

There were boos and hisses in the room, and Sergeant saw his people, moving in on him again. As his fear grew, he yelled, "I was only kidding people, I would never do that to you."

"Alan was inside his home, with his doors locked, when he opened the envelope. As he had anticipated, there was a second envelope inside with the same instructions. "For your eyes only. Burn after reading.

From the Desk of the Director

To: Special Agent Alan Robbins

Classified: Top Secret

Expect guests, 1 mile southwest Rolling Hills Road, Arizona Highway Alternate 89A. One Male, Two Females. Black Range Rover AZ. License DMF-48W. 1 AM Thursday morning. Fifteen minutes plus or minus. No Show - Return to place of origin and try again following night. If no contact both nights, assume dead or captured. Move to alternate location immediately. Identification: William Zabo- Bravo. Jemma Zabo- Charlie. Patricia Garrett- Echo. Details enroute.

William Zabo in Cmd. Guard with your life. Priority Imperative. If necessary: Primary evacuation route: Prescott Airport west to Alternate "C." Alternate evacuation route: Verde River South. Helicopter pick-up enroute. Transceiver and satellite communications Emergency Only Contact B/D. Guests may or may remain depending on conditions in immediate area. Current Condition: Orange++

Michael Free, Director

Here we go again, Alan thought. Now I have to babysit four people. I need more supplies. Hell, I am going to need a bigger truck, but I had better inform Stephano first before he gets trigger-happy tonight. They are getting really cute using my birthday as my emergency transmission channel. No one would know it except him and the receiving operator.

He followed the same procedure as last time, getting rid of all the evidence that a package was ever delivered to him, and walked back to the Public Safety building. When he walked in, he was amazed to find it was empty. Where the hell did everyone go? He got in his truck, and slowly went down the main street and saw a crowd outside the bridal shop. He stopped his truck and went to see what was happening.

He asked one of the bystanders, what was happening inside?

She said, "They are fitting the sergeant for a dress."

Allen thought, "Oh shit, I'm dead. I wonder if it will be before the wedding, or shortly afterwards." He called out for Susan, and when she heard him, she went outside.

"Tell me they did not do that to him."

There was a twinkle in Susan's eyes when she said, "You should see him Alan. He looks just too sweet for words."

"You do realize how short our marriage is going to be, when he gets loose, don't you."

"He will not hurt you, too much. He knows this is all in fun."

Alan looked up, when they were marching Sergeant out the front door of the shop.

Allen's jaw dropped when he saw him. Then Sergeant saw Alan. Their eyes met, and Alan could not help but burst into laughter. Sergeant's mouth was still taped, but Alan surmised what he was saying. It was nothing that a child under the age of eighteen should hear.

Alan walked over to him and asked, "Did you remember to get the judge and the license?"

That was all Sergeant could take. He broke away from the two men that were holding his arms, and went for Allen's throat.

Alan ducked under his arms, kicked him on his derrière, and started running down the center of the street. If people were laughing before, everyone on the main street of Cottonwood were now laughing and cheering. It was not only a race between the man in the blue jeans and the girl with the hairy legs, and the pink dress, but also by the thirty or so people following behind them, taking pictures. It was the funniest thing to happen in their city for the past twenty-five or more years.

Sergeant was waiting for that skinny prick to run out of steam, but he never did.

When he slowed down to a walk, Alan turned around and asked him, "Can I get married now?"

"So help me, Alan, if you hurt her, I will kill you."

"If I do Sergeant, you won't have to, I will do it myself."

They walked back to the crowd, after they shook each other's hand.

When Alan got to Susan, he said, "We still need a license and a judge."

"No, we don't. While you two were playing; Amanda took care of both."

"So let's get married."

Susan said, "Where?"

"All our guests are here, is the judge here?"

"I came to see the race. I will perform the marriage, where we stand."

"Thank you, Your Honor. Amanda, where are you hiding?"

"I am not hiding; I am under here, Alan." She turned sideways revealing herself. She was carrying all of sergeant's clothes, including his weapon belt. It looked like the all that stuff weighed more than she did.

"Do you have the license?"

"Yes, I do it is right here."

"Great, how would you like to be my best man?"

"I would be honored, Alan. I am also dressed appropriately. I am wearing slacks and a jacket."

Sergeant said, "Don't you start with me, Amanda."

Someone said from the crowd, "Is he talking nasty to you, darlin'."

She dropped all of Sergeant's clothes on the ground, and looked for up at her husband. "No Joe, he just has his jockey shorts all in a twist."

Joe knelt down to kiss her. She got up on her tiptoes to reach up to him. They barely made contact.

Joe asked her, "What is going on, baby?"

"Susan is getting married."

"Where is he? If he hurts her, I will kill him!"

"Joe be nice, he told me to tell you he is your new best friend."

Susan approached him and said, "Joe, let him be. He is the father of my baby."

As if she was a feather, he lifted her in the air above his head and said, "Really Susan, he knocked you up?"

"It is not the most romantic way to put it Joe, but yes, I am pregnant."

He brought her down slowly and kissed her on her cheek. He put her down on the ground, gently, and bellowed, "Where are you, you sonofabitch?"

Almost afraid to raise his voice or his hand, Alan said, "I am right here, Joe."

The Dutchman took two huge steps and was in front of him, in no time at all. With one giant hand, he raised Alan up in the air, and said, "Way to go man, way to go. That little dick of a husband of hers didn't deserve her. What do you do for a living?"

"I work for the FBI."

Joe dropped him to the floor, turned to Susan, and said, "Susan, you are marrying a cop. Isn't that asshole cousin of yours enough for one family?"

"Joe, Alan is a real cop. Sergeant just plays at being a cop. Look at him, does he look like a real cop to you."

Joe hadn't noticed what Sergeant was wearing before, but when he saw him in his pink dress, blonde wig with a bow on top, he started laughing in his deep bass voice, that eventually made the ground shake.

"Sergeant, you never looked better."

"Thank you, Joe, I have never felt prettier in my life."

"Susan, the judge is waiting, your maid of honor is catching a cold, and we have something to do before we can go on our honeymoon. Can we proceed now?"

Susan understood Alan's meaning and said she was ready.

Under a gorgeous late morning sky, Susan, and Alan exchanged their vows. When the judge asked for the rings, Susan said they didn't have rings to exchange.

Alan said, "Who said so?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out two individual packets of tissue paper. One had a pink X, and the other has a blue O. He handed Susan, the packet with the blue O and asked the judge to continue. When he told Alan to place the ring on Susan's finger, he opened his packet. He took out a 1 ½-carat diamond ring set in yellow gold. Susan had tears in her eyes, when she saw her ring, and he put it on her finger. When the judge asked Susan to place the ring on Alan's finger, she opened her packet and saw a man's' yellow gold ring. She put it on his hand, and continued to cry. The judge finished the ceremony and said you may now kiss your bride."

In the middle of the Main St., Cottonwood, AZ, the new Mister and Mrs. Alan Robbins kissed for the first time. The crowd, which started out at thirty or forty people, had swollen to a crowd of over 150. As the couple kissed, for the first time as husband and wife, the crowd roared its approval.

Amanda had them both sign the marriage license. She gave the license to the judge, and he signed it. Sergeant and she signed the document as witnesses, and handed it to the town clerk who notarized it. The manager from Mini-Might Print Shop ran to his shop and made ten copies of the document, and brought them back, before anyone noticed he was missing. He handed three to the town clerk, one to Sergeant, and one to Amanda for safekeeping. He gave the remainder to Susan, so she could hold them over Alan's head for the rest of his life.

It is amazing how much work can be done in a small town, in such a short period of time.

As the festivities broke up, Alan, and Susan went shopping. Susan was worried by the look on Alan's face. Susan had never done this before, but she asked, "Alan is there a problem?"

"Nothing that cannot be handled babe. I will be leaving a little later tonight than usual.

"Isn't that a good thing Alan?"

"For us Susan, yes, it is a very good thing. I have to buy more supplies than I did the last time. If I cannot fit it all into my truck, I will be back early next time. I may buy a bigger truck, or make more frequent trips. One way or the other, I will be seeing you on a regular basis, Mrs. Robbins."

Susan grinned when she heard him call her by her new name. She wondered if he was telling the truth, or if he was trying to assuage a guilty conscience. As long as he came back to her unharmed, she did not care."

When they went to the local big-box store, he bought double the amount of items he did the last few times they went shopping. There was no room remaining in her truck for the items she needed for the horses.

On the way back to the ranch, he apologized and said, "After we transfer this to my truck, we will go back to the store, and buy the things you need for the house and the barn."

"Like hell we will. I have been doing that for myself for years. This is my wedding day, and I expect you to consummate our marriage in the traditional way. You are going to fuck me, until you are exhausted. I do not want you to have 1 ounce of semen left in your balls and I am determined to verify that myself."

"Susan, remember I am the father of our child. I would like to be alive to see it born. Please do not kill me with kindness today. The undertaker would never be able to take the smile off my face."

"I guess I'd better asked Sergeant for the defibrillator, because I am going to fill your heart, with so much of my energy, you may not be able to handle it."

"You know darling, if I am going to die, I could not think of a better way to go. For an old broad, I could not think of a more beautiful wife, a more wonderful lover, or a more fantastic mother."

"I was thinking about hooking up the cattle prod to the battery of my truck for that first remark, about me being an old broad. Then you say the most wonderful things about me. So I will only put the batteries in it instead. Watch where you're going, Mister, you just missed the first turn, into my property. It is another half-mile to the next turn."

As they came up the back way, they unloaded everything from her truck into his. They continued up the bumpy road, until Alan hit the brakes hard.

"What's the matter, Alan?"

"There is a car parked in front of your house, and I do not recognize it. I want you to drive back to the main entrance to your place, and drive in like nothing is wrong. If it is who I think it is, tell them they just missed me. I am on my way to the Prescott airport. I am taking a flight to Washington, DC, because I have been recalled. Tell them the truth. We just got married in front of the whole town, because they will find out about it anyhow. I will circle around the back of the house, and make sure they do not harm you. I will be there for you, until they leave. They may circle back to make sure you told the truth. I will stay undercover for at least an hour. Go about your normal household business; just remember I am close by."

"Okay Alan, please remember, I do not want to lose our baby. I have waited too long for this to happen."

"Susan, I will not let them lay a hand on you. They will be dead before they touch you."

Susan circled the truck back to the main road and came in the front entrance. As she parked, two men came out of her house. She acted very angry.

"What the hell were you doing inside my house?"

"We were looking for you and a guy by the name of Alan Robbins."

"You just missed Alan. He is on his way to the Prescott airport. He was recalled to Washington, D.C. It was quite a blow to me, because we just got married this morning."

"Can you prove that he went to Prescott?"

"Hell, you can ask anyone in town. He got a call on his cell phone while we were getting ready to come back here. Instead of coming back in one truck, he went to his house, and took his to the airport. It must have been very important, because he took off like a bat out of hell."

"Why didn't he go to Phoenix?"

"I have no idea. I guess he was just following instructions."

"He said nothing else to you, except he was going to the Prescott airport."

"Alan does not discuss FBI business with me, not even when we are in bed together. He tells me it is my own good, and to keep me safe."

"How long ago did he leave?"

"We got married a few hours ago. We stayed around for about an hour, before he got the phone call. He left immediately after that, so I would imagine it is fifty minutes ago. Why do you need Alan?"

"We need to ask him some questions about a missing person."

"Shouldn't you be asking my cousin, Sergeant, about a missing person?"

"No ma'am, this is a Federal matter. They took this man across state lines."

"That is a typical government operation. One hand doesn't know what the other is doing. Maybe you can catch Alan on his cell phone."

"Do you have his number?"

"No, he would not give that to me. He said it was for business use only, and it was scrambled. It was a funny looking phone anyhow. I had never seen anything like it before."

"Thank you very much for all your help, ma'am; we will be on our way, now."

As they were driving out to the main road, one of the men said, "I think she is lying through her teeth. Let's wait around a while and see what happens."

They took up a vantage point where they could see the house from nearly every angle and watched for any movement. "Maybe he was in the house, and we missed him?"

They did not use the car to approach house this time. They circled around the barn, and walked up quietly to the front of the house. The front door was unlocked, and they walked in unannounced. They heard a noise coming from the bedroom, and walked the upstairs, hoping to find the two of them in bed.