Honor Thy Mother & Thy Father Ch. 25

The Attorney General thought for a moment, and then he smiled. What a wonderful thought, and what a wonderful surprise that would be if he could pull it off and get it through the Senate, while he was President. Fred would be the youngest Supreme Court Justice ever appointed to the court. He could sit there for 50 years and help shape history. He would keep this one under his hat. If that couldn't keep that smug smile off Fred's face, nothing would.

"Sondra, tell your assistant to move her things out of her desk and into the main room. She will still be working for me, until further notice. You will be Fred's assistant starting Monday. He is coming back to work on a 40 hour a week schedule. I expect you to kick him out of the office at 5 o'clock. I don't care if you have to get a guard to do it."

"I hope you don't mind my saying this sir, but I am going to enjoy watching him work. He is phenomenal on the phone. I can't imagine what he is like in person."

"I will tell you what everyone else says about him, Sondra; they call him a machine. There is no wasted motion or energy. I don't know what I did to get him on my staff, but he was a blessing to me from the very beginning."

As Fred approached the security gate Monday morning, he started pounding the steering wheel of his car. The guard saw him and thought he was having a fit of some kind. He had his hand on his weapon as Fred approached the barrier, the guard heard Fred saying over and over again, "I Don't Want to Go to Work, I Don't Want to Go To Work..."

The guard called his captain, and said, "Sir, you have to hear this."

After listening to the ranting and raving of this lunatic, the captain asked, "Who is saying that?"

"Sir, that's Fred Hastings."

"You're shitting me."

"No Sir, he is sitting in his car, and I have not let him through the barrier yet. I am not sure if he stable. I think we should call the Attorney General and make sure he wants him up there."

"You call the general, I have to see this."

Within a few moments, the captain and several members of the Capital police force who knew Fred were surrounding his car, listening to him say, "I Don't Want to Go to Work."

The Attorney General called downstairs and said to the guard, "Tell that 'Grade 'C' Acting' bastard to get his ass up to this office. There is work to be done, and he is going to do it."

Fred yelled, "I don't like you."

All the guards around him started laughing, as the gate went up and he drove to his assigned parking place. He walked into the elevator and got off at the fourth floor. As his colleagues saw him walking down the center aisle, they stood up and applauded. All his antics downstairs left him, and the honor his friends and coworkers were giving him left him breathless. He found it hard to move, but he did move, slowly, towards the AG's office. As he reached for the handle to his office door, his right hand touched the spot where the seal had been. He was told that it had been sliced by a very fine blade before he cut it. As he went over it in his mind, he could not remember seeing any damage to the seal when he opened the door that Sunday afternoon. His left hand could not push down on the lever to open his office door. His right hand kept rubbing the area the seal had been affixed to. He stared at that spot as if it was still there. He did not move.

A voice behind him said, "It's not there, Fred, it's all been cleaned away. It's safe inside."

He turned and saw Michael Free standing behind him. "Hello Michael, I'm just going over it in my mind. I'm trying to remember if I saw that cut. I concentrate on what I did as I approached this door, and I don't remember seeing the seal cut. I visualize every step I took that day as I reached this door. I was very careful not to scratch the wood. I did not see any alteration on that seal."

"They cut it with a surgical blade. The incision was so fine the pieces of paper may have looked like they were together by the time you cut them. It's all over now Fred. They are dead, and you, thank God, you are alive. What you did in the next room was such a selfless act of courage; you were a part of the news media for months. People followed your recuperation closer than they followed Reagan's. Don't be afraid, Fred, open the door, and go back to work. The bad guys are dead, only the good guys work here now."

"You're wrong Michael, 'He' is on the other side of the door, and he can't wait to get his hooks into me, because of what I did for the last six months or so."

"Should I ask what you have been doing, or should I just tag along?"

"Tag along; you will have more fun that way."

Fred pressed down on the handle and pushed the great door open. He stuck his head through the opening and saw Sondra sitting at her new desk. The attorney generals door was open so he asked her loud enough for him to hear "Has the AG found the switch to the coffee maker yet?"

She recognized his voice and said, "No Fred, but he did find the pencil sharpener. Now he's trying to find a place to plug it in so he can sharpen his pens."

"I heard that you two. If I could run this office without you, I would plant you both in the cornerstone of the new building. Mister Hastings, it's 8:14 AM, you are late for your first day back to work in almost 7 months. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I was being questioned by the Director of the FBI."

"Couldn't you come up with a better fish story than that Fred?"

Michael said, "It sounded pretty good to me Clark."

"Free what are you doing here at this hour of the morning?"

"I was told you needed an investigator to help you find the switch on the coffee maker."

"The three of you are going to wind up in that cornerstone of the new FBI building."

Clark walked around his desk and hugged Fred as he walked into his office. "Welcome back to the meat grinder my boy. Sondra cannot wait to watch you work and learn from you."

"Sir, she is a great worker, and follows directions well. When I retire in two weeks, she will be able to take over this office just fine."

"What do you mean when you retire in two weeks?"

"Didn't I tell you I'm suing you for $100 million? You forced me back to work before I was physically and mentally able to stand the strain. Michael will testify to it. He saw how hard it was for me to open the door to my office. Isn't that right, Michael?"

"He is correct sir. When I found him he was staring at the door jam, where the seal was. He was rubbing his hand up and down the area like it was still there. He seemed to be having a post-traumatic stress reaction to being back in the room, and I had to insist that he opened the door to this room and walk-in. I think he has a very good chance of winning a case against you and the government. How much did you say you were going to give me Fred?"

"A standard fee of 20% Michael."

"That's close to two hundred million dollars for telling the truth. I like that amount of money for one day's work. Are you going to have enough money left to pay for his wedding, Clark?"

"Are you two finished having fun at my expense?"

"Are we finished Michael?"

"Since we both technically work for him, and if he gets mad at us, he could take our toys away, I would say we are done for today."

"Good thinking boys, Fred go to your desk and get organized. You have two major pleadings coming up, in the next month."

"They are finished sir. What did you think we were doing, while you were watching the monuments grow old?"

"Michael, he has been in this office for less than five minutes, and he has already taken over my life. If he tells me what color shorts I am wearing today I am going to kill him and go to jail happily."

"Sir, it's Monday, and every Monday since I have known you, you have worn the blue shorts with the white pinstripes."

"Michael, give me your gun, and take out your handcuffs, I am going to kill him, and then you are going to arrest me."

"Clark, you do know there is an easy way to trip him up."

"How would you suggest I do that Michael?"

"Go commando. He will never be able to guess what color shorts you wearing ever again."

"Very cute Michael, there is only one problem with that, I chafe very easily, and the ensuing rash is very difficult to get rid of."

Fred said to Michael, "I could have told you that if you asked. In his younger, more virile days, when he was chasing Mrs. Julia, he attempted to go commando. The result was an absence of sex for six weeks, and six months of ribbing from her. It was always wonderful to see them together. She was glowing, and he was bright red from embarrassment."

"God dammit Fred, do you ever forget anything?"

"Sir, when it comes to you, No, I never forget anything of importance."

"Those incidents were important?"

"Everything you do is important. I knew when I was just your aide that one day you would be sitting in the White House. I didn't know if I would be with you, I just wanted to be able to say to my friends that I worked with that man, and he was the most honest person I had ever known."

"Fred, its 8:35 AM, and you have not done one lick of work. Get out of my office and start teaching Sondra how to do it on her own. I will be handing in my resignation just before the congressional recess for Christmas, and announcing my intentions to run for president the same day."

"Gee whiz dad, what a surprise. I think Debbie won the pool."

"You guys bet on when I would resign and announce my candidacy?"

"Of course we did. Sharon bet you would do it during the affair after our wedding. I bet that you would tell the president, privately, before the Christmas break, so he would have time to look over the candidates while he was vacationing. Then on your first day back in January you would announce that you were stepping down in order to run for the presidency. Danni said you would do it before one of the football playoff games. Everyone picked a day and a reason for it, and I think Debbie nailed it. I will check the envelopes when I get home."

"Do you know how many days he took Jim Green to figure out the perfect timing to make the announcement? Do you know how many politicians he polled before he pulled the trigger on that date? You stroll into my office and tell me that one of your younger daughters picked the date out because it made sense to do it as politicians broke up for the Christmas vacation. Jim is going to have a coronary because he over-thought that issue. I think we will have everyone over to the house for dinner and have a long discussion afterwards as to how to run my campaign. I wouldn't be surprised if Jim gives the four girls jobs to do if things get tight."

"Can I go to work now; you're starting to depress me."

"What do you mean I'm starting to depress you?"

"Sir, if you keep your eyes on the prize, you will be sitting in that big white building on Pennsylvania Avenue for eight years. All you have to do is be yourself, tell the truth as you know it, and don't promise anything you know the Congress will not deliver for you. If anyone asks you why you can't do this or that, tell them you would love to, but Congress won't let it happen. Always throw it back into congresses lap. They make the laws all you can do is ask for things that you want to happen. You will win this election by eight points, or more, if you do as only you can do. Run a campaign like you did in Connecticut, and you will be the President of the United States of America for eight Years."

"Michael, call 911, we have a man here that needs to get back to the hospital. He is hallucinating, and is losing his mind."

"Clark, how many times has that young man been wrong since you've known him?"

"Don't you start with me Michael, it's bad enough my niece asked me to take him back early."

"I believe it was President Truman that said, "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."

"What do you two geniuses think I should do?"

Fred said, "I'm not that politically savvy, but if it was me, I would start a rumor saying that you were stepping down sometime soon to begin campaigning for the presidency. The press would be all over you asking you if it was true. You would deny it, of course, saying that you and your wife have not made that commitment yet. It will be a tremendous strain on your relationship, and you have already had one marriage fail because of your political career. You will not have another marriage fail because of a politics tore you apart."

"Clark, the man is a genius. Every woman in the country will love you. Putting your wife, your marriage before your political career will have them eating out of your hand. When you make your announcement have her standing by your side, holding your hand. Make the announcement as a couple so that people know that you are in the race together. I didn't say any of that because my job is supposed to keep me apolitical, but I would not mind seeing you in that house."

The attorney general said, "I was planning on having such a nice day Fred. I was going to ride your ass mercilessly. Now the both of you have given me a headache, and I have to start thinking about my future again."

Fred said, "Mike, we are in trouble. He thinks he is going to think. I have to call Mrs. Julia in a hurry and get her over here. She is his brains, only he doesn't know it."

"Get out of here Fred before I hit you over the head with my chair."

Michael asked Fred, "What are we going to do with a President with a short fuse, and a quick temper?"

"Putin will shit a brick with him in the White House. After their first face-to-face meeting, Putin will make sure there is space enough for him in the Russian subways."

Clark Atwater yelled, "That's enough you two. Get out of my office, and don't come back unless I call you. You are both crazier than loons. Get out, now."

"Come on Michael, I'll walk you to the elevator."

There were several contractors on their way to the elevator, and they overheard what they thought was a very private conversation between the Director of the FBI, and the Attorney Generals assistant. It hit the electronic media before the noon news cycle.

Attorney General to step down!

Clark's first phone call was from the White House. It was from the President, and he was pissed. "Shouldn't you have had the courtesy to tell me first?"

"What should I have told you Mister President?"

"Don't you play with me Clark, we've known each other too long. It's all over the news; when do you plan to step down."

"I haven't said a word to anyone about stepping down Mister President. I was going to tell you before you went on vacation for Christmas so you could look over the candidates and have a replacement ready for me when I announced I was stepping down in January. I have not said a thing about stepping down to anyone at this point."

"How did this rumor start?"

"I don't know... Mister President, I am going to kill that boy, with my bare hands."

"Who are you talking about Clark?"

"Fred Hastings sir, I ordered him back to work today, and he wasn't particularly happy with me. He shouldn't be back here, but he was working with my staff from home 8 to 10 hours a day on the phones. I thought if he was doing that from home, he might as well do it here. We spoke this morning about my stepping down next year, and he told me that his children had bet on when I would do it. One of the things he told me that should be done was to start a rumor about my stepping down. Would you like to send him to a CIA camp in Afghanistan sir?"

The president laughed. "The young man saves your life, and pulls a politically savvy move like that, and you want to send him away? You have to be out of your mind Clark."

"Sir, he is supposed to do what I tell him to do, not run off like a loose cannon."

"Your job description keep you from doing that, his doesn't. I believe that young man likes you. I would keep him around if I were you."

"Sir, you will be getting your invitation to their wedding in two weeks. It would be our honor if you could attend."

"I don't know what my schedule is like, but if we are in town my wife and I will be there."

"Thank you, Mister President, I am sorry about the mix-up this morning."

Clark hung up the phone, turned on the intercom, and yelled, "Hastings, get your ass in here, now."

Fred opened the door, and said, "You bellowed you crankiness?"

"You started that rumor already?"

"I did nothing of the sort. I just walked the Director to the elevators and walked right back. I have been in the office ever since."

"Then who started the rumor that the President nearly took my head off?"

"I know it wasn't me, you could ask the Director, but I doubt it was him. The only other person in the office was Sondra, and I don't believe she overheard the conversation. That leads to one of two conclusions sir: there is a bug in your office, or a little bird told them."

"Hastings, you are a lying son of a bitch. You did this. The president said it was a smart political move, done by someone who likes me. He said you like me."

"I have a group of guards downstairs that will swear they heard me say, 'I don't like you' this morning on my way in to the parking area."

"Both you and I know that was an act."

"Sir, there is only one proper way to handle this. You must call a news conference, and tell the press that you have spoken with the president this morning. You told him that you have no plans to step down at this time. If and when you do plan on stepping down, it will not be leaked to the press. You will go to the President and tell him personally, because that is the appropriate way for a senior cabinet official to act. Of course, you are going to call the White House, now, and clear it with them first."

"Why did you have me get Jim Green as my political advisor, when I have you at my side?"

"I can advise you. He knows how to handle state organizations. We will work very well together."

"Fred, if I become President, I have something in store for you that you will never forgive me for. I will laugh at you for decades and there will be nothing you can do to get back at me. Remember all these dirty tricks you pulled on me, because I will get the last laugh."

"I will not let you adopt me."

"No Fred, it is much worse than adopting you."

"I will not manage your baseball team."

"Are you crazy, my team is a contender every year. Why would I put you in charge of it."

"Now you have me worried sir. Your stocks and bonds are in a blind trust. Mrs. Julia won't let me fly her airplane. I won't go on your boat because you don't know how to navigate, and I don't swim that well. What do you have in store for me your happiness?"

"I'm not saying Fred, but there will be an audience around you when I tell you. I want them to take photographs of the look on your face so I can laugh for a lifetime."

"You do realize after your eight years as President you do go on speaking tours. I can arrange such exciting places as Paducah Kentucky Oroville Indiana, Titusville Florida, and Port Arthur Texas just to name a few."

"Either that Fred, or I could be riding your coattails for change. Dream for a while Fred, and think of the scariest thing I could do to you. Then multiply those by eight and you will be close."

"I have nine years to think about it, sir. Let me get you elected president first; then you can scare me."