Hooters Pool: A Love Story

'Steve.' Her voice was muffled.

'What?'

'I really wanna come off the pill. I mean, so bad that it hurts.' The last blessing, I thought.

'What I'm making already is almost enough, and it's gonna go up as soon as I get a bit quicker with the fucking keyboard skills, and Uncle Sam keeps paying his debt every month. Start today, kid. Happy Anniversary.' She hugged me hard.

'That's the correct answer. Eggs over easy, like always, huh?' She sniggered at the double meaning and got up and padded into the kitchen.

'Now where?' I said as I got into the car and started it. She slid into the passenger seat and I stared at her. 'And why the hell are you carrying a length of rope?' She turned and grinned.

'Hooters Pool, buddy, and make it snappy. We got an anniversary swim to fit in before we screw again. The rope's to haul you out afterwards.'

'It's National Symbolism Day or something?' I put the four by four into drive and we rolled out of the parking lot.

'What the fuck?' Her voice was indignant. We'd cleared the rise and I'd braked suddenly. There must have been twenty or twenty five cars parked in a neat row. 'What the fuck?' she said again. Then, 'Jesus, Steve, I think I'm hallucinating. That guy's got no clothes on.'

A portly middle-aged guy, naked as a jaybird, was hurrying towards us. I lowered the window and he leaned in.

'Welcome to National Nude day in Findhorn County. We gotta county dispensation till five this afternoon. Couples only, no minors.' He realized we were staring and paused. 'You folks didn't know?' I cleared my throat.

'Kinda surprised. National Nude Day, huh? You mind if we just go to the top of the crest, help us decide?' He hemmed and hawed a little.

'You don't look like peepers. But one step down the hill and you gotta be naked.' I nodded and parked the car at the end of the row. We got out and walked to our picnic spot and gazed down at Hooters Pool. People were swimming, lying on the banks, talking in groups, all ages, all sizes, all colors, no clothes anywhere. Lily's hand snuck into mine.

'Jeez, Steve, I don't believe it. Whatever happened to public fucking decency?' I turned my head and she smiled.

'Hell, Lily, you're a fine one to talk.' She lip-synched along with me and we cracked up. 'Whaddya wanna do?' I asked. She turned and looked down the hill again.

'Every single one of those women has hooters, and I got penny whistles.' I followed her gaze.

'And every single one of those guys has two legs and I got a pink Wal-Mart special. Answer me this, are we the sort of people who give a fuck?' She turned and looked up at me seriously.

'Steve,' she said, 'are you really sure you don't give a fuck?' I took a deep breath.

'A little bit, but it's time, I guess. We'll leave our stuff in the car and I'll hook the keys on my watch strap. Get those fucking 32A's out and into the sun, kid. Everything goes right, they'll be getting bigger in a few months. This could be their last chance. I'll leave my leg on the bank. No-one's gonna steal it. Who wants three, for Christ's sake?' She bumped my shoulder with her head.

'You get a boner looking at those hooters I'm gonna bite it off.'

'You think I'm gonna be looking at anyone else?' We started stripping as we walked back to the car, and three minutes later we were on the crest of the hill again, naked in the sunlight, looking down at the crowded pond. She took my hand and squeezed.

'National fucking Nude Day, and our almost anniversary, and the absolutely last step,' she murmured. I squeezed back and my leg squeaked slightly as we set off down the hill towards Hooters Pool.