by bryandavid
Nice first effort. But, fantasy aside, you need to put some reality into your story if you are going to fuck "one asshole and then [into] another"... use a rubber for crize sake. Lastly, why do you think you needed the additional asian tease at the end of your story? Didn't the guy have enough on his mind with the (3-girl) all-night debachary as it was?
I like the idea, but it's very distracting when there are so many spelling mistakes (never mind the grammar). Don't be in such a hurry next time - read it before you hit "send."