by Doctor_Tease
Interesting start. Nice writing, I feel compelled to say, and a good, creepy vibe. I'm curious to see where this will take us; and how far you'll take it...
- Nicoli.
And I really like this set up. I'm a huge fan of tease/nonconsent/BDSM related stuff, and this was a nice, wicked start.
I'm heading on to the next chapter, because I really can't wait to see what's going to happen.
A couple of notes- I caught some minor punctuation errors, but nothing major, and the one thing I really wished for was MORE description. I'd really like to know more than she was wet and frustrated- scent, sound, taste, touch and sight- the five golden rules of a description scene.
On to the next chapter!!!
I was, however pulled out of the story a little, not expecting a bound and tied woman to acquiesce so quickly... But then, i suppose, what else is she supposed to do, feel, think...
Must read more. My only suggestion would be to make it a little longer next time. I got the same suggestion and when I started doing so I got better ratings. Very good writing and so far very interested to see where this goes.
Descriptions are well-written and the setup is great. But it is embarrassing to read about a woman who is probably meant to be Korean yet wore a formal Chinese dress (albeit modified) to a club...
Yep, that was clueless of me, anonymous. This story is eleven years old and I've learned a lot since then; the first few chapters need to be rewritten.
I see there's a review from 14 years ago. Well, let me tell you, good writing holds up.