How i Came to Love being a Slave

She puts one hand on my shoulder and pushes me down while she has a finger or two in my vagina. "You can pick up your suitcase. Try," she orders, grinning like crazy. OK, so I reach the handle. It's full of rather neat stuff and kind of heavy. I have to bend forward to lift it. She switches around behind me and keeps fingering inside me. "Good girl! Now up the stairs you go!" She says. I trudge up the stairs. This is not easy! Wow, that feels good! What the hell is she doing? She keeps fucking with me every step of the way. I have to spread my legs, climb stairs in fuck-me pumps, waddling like a duck, bent over so my face almost bumps the stair in front of me, with a heavy suitcase pressing and bumping on my ass. Fun. Wwooo, that feels strange! She will NOT stop fingering me! And now she's pinching my clit!

"Good girl! Drop your toys anywhere," she says and she's idley twisting my nipps in her fingers. "Do you need to go potty or anything?" she asks nice and plain like nothing unusual is happening. "No thanks, I'm fine," I say. So she locks a leather collar on me that was laying on her makeup table. I see that it has a chain that leads to the bed about five feet away. OK, I think, I guess this is where we will be for a while.

She uncuffs my right hand. We take off my coat. I'm almost disappointed until I realize that she is pulling my left still-cuffed hand around to my front and up to the chain on my collar. She padlocks the cuff chain about a foot from my neck. Then she recuffs my right hand too. "Make yourself comfy Sweety. I'll get your other case. Then we can see what you brought," she says as she heads back down the stairs.

Let me summerize the remainder of the evening. One of my cases contained my handcuff and legiron collection. She has a wild collection too. First: I never got more than five feet from the bed. Second: I had no idea what dozens of cuffs and irons on you at one time felt like, many different ways. Now I know. Third: She gets as excited by this stuff as I do and she can do things to me that I can barely describe. Fourth: I had to try to sleep totally cuffed in a ball with my face jammed in her crotch. I saw that she slept just fine. I did not. And she kicks a little in her sleep. And she still had her WICKED boots on with all that pointy chrome hardware and fine, fine heels.

I bit her a little to try to wake her. She calmly got up and gagged me... tightly too I must add! Buckled it hard! Then she just pushed me on the floor off the bed! Ouch! Really ouch! What's that? a two foot drop? Then she calmly climbs back in bed (geeze, she's got an EVIL grin!) and went back to sleep!

Luckily for me, she gets up early. I guess I had been gagged in a ball of cuffs on the floor for only about three hours. ONLY three Hours! My hands and feet were blue! My jaw hurt from that big ball gag deep in my mouth! My nose hurt from the metal ring on the gag! I hurt all over! The marks stayed on my arms and legs when she FINALLY removed all the cuffs! Did she unlock me in the morning? NO! I stayed collared and chained to the bed. She made me beg to use the bathroom. Kept me on the chain, standing there with me like you watch your dog pee. But she did remove all the cuffs and irons first, then my gloves and hose (with proper care, I must add) and massaged me with warmed (nice touch) moisterizers until I fell asleep. She's been on the receiving end of that scene before herself, I'm sure. Actually thinking about it now as I write this, it wasn't that bad and it had many, many delightful moments. Actually... it was WILD and she can do that anytime she wants.

Saturday morning I wake up and remember where I am. Gee, the collar is begining to feel like part of me. I hardly notice the cold chain against my shoulder. Marie had actually gone back to sleep with me and I woke first. My arms and legs don't look bad, but you can still see impressions from cuffs. The marks go from the backs of my hands all the way up my upper arms. On my legs they go from the top of my feet to just below my knees. It's a bit sore here and there, but not bad.

She's beautiful. I can't help just watching her sleep peacefully. Still in red latex and boots! She's got these neat bracelets. They're wide cuffs with really pointy spikes. Interesting alternating pattern those spikes. I just lay there fingering them, sort of running my fingers around them idley watching her sleep. Besides, I feel simply right just waiting for her. She wakes. She blinks once or twice and sees me. She grins. "Good morning Sweety, sleep OK?" she asks as she stretches. "Just fine Marie," I answered. She fingers my chain laying on the bed all around me. She pulls me to her with it and kisses me. She holds me there by my chain. We are eye to eye. Here she said something that stopped me for a second,

"You know, you may address me as 'Mistress' whenever you wear a collar. Don't you think that's a good idea?" I swear my heart fluttered. I felt that this was something special, no longer just fun play, still lots of fun, but more, much more. "Yes Mistress, of course Mistress," I cooed and snuggled against her, looking up into her eyes. She beamed down at me. I love that smile of hers!

"So... go make us some breakfast. You know where everything is," she says. She reaches into a nightstand drawer and retrieves a key. The chain is unlocked from the collar and falls clattering on the bed frame, then the floor. The collar is now just a pet store dog collar buckled in the back. I could take it off. I do not. "Of course Mistress. Coffee first Mistress?" I ask, climbing out of our bed. "First you should dress. I saw some nice lingerie and shoes in your second suitcase. Why don't you show me something nice, something you like? Do you want to take a shower first?" she suggests.

"Later, with your permission. I'll get coffee first," I said digging around in my suitcase. I chose a teeny red lacy thong and matching half-bra. I also had a shear, bright red teddy with lace trim. I found my pumps that matched the red. These shoes are actually comfy. I've worn them all day before. I sneak a look at myself in the full-legnth mirror on a closet door. I look smashing. And the black leather and chrome hardware on the collar contrast with all the red, accentuating both. "Is this OK Mistress?" I ask with real concern for her approval. "You look delicious," she said, "get the coffee. It should be ready."

Let me summerize Saturday. While I made breakfast, she changed. She came into the kitchen all in black satin as I was beginning to wonder if I should look for a tray to take breakfast to her. We had a luxurious breakfast. We went back to bed and did a little tounge and suck for a while. We showered together. We primped each other like schoolgirl buddies. We went back to bed for a while again. She showed me the whole house.

It has a full basement too. I was not really suprised to be shown a really cool dungeon. Arthur must have been a fairly handy carpenter, or very rich, or something. There were manacles on chains attached to the walls and ceiling all over the place, in some very... thought provoking places. There was a stock that would hold someone standing all stretched out... upside down. There was something like a rack or complex examination table, leather straps everywhere. There was a stock that would keep someone standing bent over, ass and crotch completely open and up. Neat stuff. Dark stained wood. Great workmanship. Smooth to the touch. Carefully carved and smoothed to fit the female form perfectly. Wild design ideas. Everything locked with big padlocks on chromed hardware, nice touch. Someone was genius, a very, very perverted genius. My hero! What a playground!

I'm trying to just summerize here or I'll be writing forever, but that rack thing is really something! Yes, we tried it. I think she saw me eyeing it and knew I was interested. First she gagged me. "For the full effect you know," she said. A thick leather panel covered my lower face and it had a big, thick roll of leather sticking in my mouth. Leather straps every which way, pulled it very tight into my mouth, squeezed my jaw down, ran around back of my head, ran down either side of my nose and over my head buckling in the back. She gestured to the rack and I laid down. I was strapped down to the rack everywhere with these leather straps that are built into it. My forehead. My neck. Across my chest. In an X between by boobs over my shoulders, twice over my waist, wrists, elbows, upper arms, thighs, upper calves, ankles, across my feet, even through my toes. She even strapped down my fingers... each one seperately! She worked at it for a half hour! Of course, she kissed or licked or nibbled between every step. Unreal... dreamy... slowly strapped until solidly in her control.

I could not move anything even the tiniest fraction of an inch. I struggled like a demon just to try it out. A couple tiny squeeks from leather and wood was all I could get, no movement at all. I liked this. Mistress gently stroked my mound, nibbled on my nipps, stood up, and smiled.

Then she started to crank the thing! Whoa! Wait a second! I thought. For a second I was really terrified! I thought it was going to do something like real medevial racks and start breaking bones! I could not make a sound! I could only blink my eyes! Shit! But no. Wait. Whew! It didn't hurt. It was sort of like at the gynecologist. My legs were spread wide, my hips thrust way up, like for a doctor's inspection.... only a lot more so... but suprisingly comfortable. My arms and shoulders rotated down, pushing my boobs up in the air. My vagina and anus completely vulnerable. Right out there in the open. Gee, there's like spot lights on my pussy from above. I could not have felt more helpless. She stood between my legs with that evil grin of hers. Did I mention the motorized dildos yet? The pumps and hoses? Warm oils? Cold soapy water? The wine bottle? Oh well... I have a funny feeling I'll have plenty of opportunities to describe that later.

Sunday was wonderful too. We just lounged. I bathed her in a tub. Shampooed her hair. Helped her make herself "naturally blond" as she called it. We shaved each other. That was fun! We went back to bed for a while. Brought her tea. I did her toenails. Went back to bed again. We read the Sunday papers together and watched some TV. Went back to bed for a while. Made dinner together.

I did not want to go home. Since she gets up so fucking early, I could go home tomorrow morning and have plenty of time to get to work. Hey! I've got an idea. Why don't we call in sick tomorrow? It didn't work. Shit! We went back to bed one last time this weekend. We went to sleep. In the morning, I had to take off my collar. Are you sure we can't call in sick? No?

Well... that was my weekend. We did talk on the phone today. She wants me to come over Tuesday night again. She was laughing at the time, but she also said, "if you're a good girl, you can stay the weekend again too." I am thrilled. I am smitten. I'm going to masturbate myself to sleep tonight thinking about our next time together. Maybe I should just leave my toys there if she lets me? Or maybe she wants to "help me" take them up the stairs again? Got to go to bed now. It's late, I wrote too long. I will have interesting dreams.

Wendesday Febuyruary 13,2003

I realized somehting.AnD not just that i'm drunk neither. Got to write it out to be cleear. Might be hard Im' drunk a bit. Never got myself srunk before alone. I always write like some one like me might readnig. a stranger. I have to imagime an curious litlle gilr a 100 years from now whants toknow what I am. this is what I write since i was littel. My soul. My story. Always write for that litlle girl to explain me,

I've alway wrritn like to myself as a child alone inthe futuree strange country. Always. See?

Here;s the thing, I just realized Marie can my cliteris HARD!. Undertsmd? But only when I,m completlty chained and helpless and gagged! This is the very very bing thimg! Maybe tha'ts why I wantd ro drink herwine tomight?

Anyway,,,, Marie is very very very think about her almost all the time. When I'm not with her, I'm rubbing myslf wishing I wa withe her. My hand is immy lap now! i can't help ot! I can fell wet in my jeans, warm too,\Here's the big think, she made my clitorus get HARD like a man's cock. I didn't even kno that could happen. Gad I',m dri drunk. Here's the big thing, Only when I'm chained down doe sthis happen .not all the time. When she gets me complety helpless and I cant move even an inch, she plays me like a violinm or sometinh. Fuck! how does she do taht? That bitch! O gawd I want her! That cunt!!!

Gawd I can;t even think about it wiyhout getting turned on! She licks an nibbles real slow. I want moere! Icant do or even say anything I'm gagged too. My jawhurts Marie!Then she plays inside me.. real slow fingers my G.spot. Funny soft. runs her fingers aroind my asshole. Pushes in my butthole. Vasoline fingre. She never mixees up which finger geos where. Massagse and squeezs and even pincjes my labia! Puils my lips with her teeth! I want more but she just smiles. I also now like wine. She gave me htis nice merlot and ive had most of the second bi\ottle now. Red wine is good for you. It's from hers. It is really goog stuiff, I'm sure. sOme fancy vintage i;m sureShe;s so classy. notl ike me. The otrhe bottle was very good to. She's so

Marie I want you!!!!!!! to fuck with me!! She gets me so horny I cant' do anything then she starts ro suck my clit while she doesnt stop all the other in m,y ass love fingres inside me Slow slow slow. Hurry up Marie please I cant say anything cant move can't get to muself. Then she sucks and licks amdsucks and sucks and licks around my clit so slow bnut so hard. It's like she's going to suck ALL of me insided her mouth and I get hard like a boy/ and it fells so god. A girls clit CAN"T grow like thar! I KNOE how to finger myslf! I;ve been stinking my fingers inme since firever! But I CANT do that to meself! ONly she can,,, and her's the big thing... only when I;m comletlty chained and spred and gaggeg! Seee? That;s the bigthimg! She sucsk real hARD! and flicks her tonge so hard abd fast O gog! But it;s not hard its so gentel/ no its hard See? She's going to suck all of me inher? My clit sticks Up like a little cock! and she just smile!!!!!!

This wine is nice. The bottls gone now and I;m going to masturbating myslf as I think about Marie. She has to chain me down more. I'll do anythong to get there with her. I'll must explaim this to Marie. I wish I was with Marie in her chains SHe has such an EVIL smile. She knows what shr's doing. Whenshe decides she's going to let me cum ewhen she's got me like that there nothing like that ever. She make me go on and om and on and one and on,, waves and waves and wabesa nd wves of hot! Se? How cam she do that> She jsust sucks and tounge alll around and I get off like never before, But here's the thing, only when I'm completely cuffed and chined down and spread open and gagged and I can;t move. She make s my clit big! How can she do thaty? Then she palys with it and I can;t stop her I cant make her do more... pleas moer Marie! But i all I can do is make noise s thruogh th gag! Marie justSTOPs to listen and smiles! "Dont stop please" sounsd lieke " mmmg mmmp nnnllhh!" If when i screem "MARIE!!!" it comes only out as "MLLLLLLE!!!" Damm gag!

I've must go to bed now. but I will masturnate about Marie first. I want Narienow. I've got to tell her

maybe she wants me to beg? She sys I give her good head afterwerds after when She fucks with me like that.It;s her chains and Ican't move even an inch! Calls me her "goodgirl: cals me her "hotbox!" when she taks my gag off and sits on me face.too slow Marie. Hurry up! I'll do it! Good night now can't sit up more.

Thursday February 14, 2003

This diary has always been for an imaginary, future audience to help put my life in perspective. And maybe... who knows?... someday someone might read it. I seldom read what I've written when it is finished. However, I just finished reading what I wrote last night. I'm not going to delete or change it. Even though there is a lot of gibberish, there is also a brilliant, shining moment of truth that merits being preserved.

Reflecting on how I felt, I see why I made myself very drunk. I crossed a significant milestone in my life. It is both beautiful, and terrifying. I am passionately in love with a wonderful woman. I am addicted to her unique skills at perverted love-making. I have no choice but to place myself completely under her control. I crave her extremely wicked artistry like nothing I could even imagine previously in my life.

When I give myself to her, I achieve a peace and satisfaction that is impossible to explain. There are no words for it. It is NOT that i lose my identity. It is NOT that i stop having conscious thoughts. During the rollercoaster ride and fireworks display that IS our lovemaking, we meld together. Like a symphony orcestra reaching the cresendo of a passionate performance, She conducts and I follow seamlessly as one. My emotions, feelings, sensations swell to unimaginable heights in perfect sync to her actions. I know this happens to her too. I've watched her nostrils flare, her mouth twist in creative rapture, totally absorbed like an great artist in a masterful performance. When she has finished with me, I can't say if I am completely drained or if I am completely filled. When she holds me and murmers reassuring words in my ear, strokes my hair, I never want it to end. Never. Ever.

There. I've said it. Or rather written it as I always do. This is serious. There is no going back now. I am clear headed as I write this. My feelings are clear too. This is exactly what I have always wanted. I just did not know until now.

Peace, satisfaction, and warmth grow inside me as I write this. These are not childish sensations. These are the result of an adult, conscious decision. I will belong to Marie. I will perorm any act, play any role, that she desires. I eagerly await her next command. I will earn her love on whatever terms she gives. This is no "dress up" game any longer. She has truly enthalled me. I will have her as my one true love and become her one true love too. I will make certain that she knows this.

I am going to call Marie now. It's late. She gets up early. I hope she understands. I am going to tell her now.

Tuesday 9:00 PM February 18 2003

It snowed like a son-of-a-bitch. The whole East Coast was shut down. Ha! Snow day like in school! I'm so Happy! We had Friday night, all of Saturday AND I got stuck at Marie's Sunday night and we didn't go to work Monday. La De Da! How super!

We did lots of neat stuff. Had plenty of time. Even though she has four wheel drive, she didn't even think about going to work. She just called a few key employees and had her company closed for the duration. For everyone's safety, you know.

Had the most interesting experience. Unexpected. Thought provoking.I never thought whips were good for anything. Window dressing, props at most. Really sicko people played with that stuff... and yes... I am a perverted slut by choice... but I mean really sicko. I could not imagine how a whip could be sexy. Now I know!

I was kneeling on the bed, but spread wide. One chain from my ankle cuffs went to the headboard, and the other went to the foot of the bed. A chain around my waist also locked to my ankle cuffs, forcing me to kneel. My hands were cuffed behind my back and pulled (not too roughly) to the other side of the canopy by a chain. The total effect was face down in a pillow on the bed, ass and crotch high up in the air. Odd position, I thought, what's she going to do?

She pulled up a chair behind me and played with me soooo nicely! Got me wet and opened "like a flower"... hotter and hotter. Would not get me off though! Kept taking me to the brink and then stopped... or worse... pinched something! Damn her! This went on too damn long! Whenever she calls me "hotbox," I know she's going to play and play and keep me on the brink. Then she stood behind me and I felt something tickling my tushie. Couldn't really see very well. It was a riding crop! Like a jockey uses on a horse.