How i Came to Love being a Slave

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"Do you want to get off Jan?" she asked and she smacked me. "Yes, please," I said... what else could I say? She wacked me again and it stung this time! But she was also fingering me. Oh wow! That's different! She kept that up. I'd almost get off... smack! more finger action... smack! "Are you sure you want to get off Jan? smack!... more fingers... over and over. I squirmed. That chain was really pulling the handcuffs now... or I guess I was straining too much. Smack!... fingers on my G-spot... over and over... hotter and hotter... sliding her fingers all around my clit... I was begging... not that she'd stop... I wanted to cum so bad now! I was begging, "please! more! please!"and moaning softly. I needed her to know how much I wanted her to finish me... please!

Soon I'm biting the pillow. She's finally got me going and going and going... I'm getting off like crazy and she's whipping me faster and harder all the time! GAWD! Waves of heat... Sting... pleasure... burn... pleasure... all mixed up together... muscle spasms from the pleasure.... I really actually passed out for real. What an "O!"

I came to uncuffed laying on my back. No idea how long I was out. Maybe just a couple minutes? Just one loose chain to my leg cuff, I liked that. Marie is gently massaging my boobs, absent-mindedly fingering my nipps. She's smiling and looking down at me. My ass was hot... but it did NOT hurt. It's suprising... hard to explain... it felt great... even though it burned sooo much.

"That bitch! That cunt!" I thought, "What did she do to me now? She's been through this. She knew what I'd feel. What a revelation! Nothing else in the world feels like that! That wonderful, wonderful woman. My woman. Mine, and I AM hers"

I reached up and hugged Marie, kissing her deeply. I never felt closer to anyone before. I never felt an "afterglow" like that before. I was hers totally. Anything she wanted would be just fine with me, perfect in fact. I looked into her eyes like a love-sick puppy. I could see in her eyes that this is what she expected.

I sighed and relaxed, snuggled meekly against her shoulder. My ass still stung, but it just made me so aware of my whole body. I felt warm... no hot... no... I felt like a perfectly satisfied sex slave. Everything was as it should be. She stroked my hair.

I turned and kissed her neck, started kissing her shoulder, her breasts. She smiled at me approvingly. I slid down and gave her the best tounge and suck that I possibly could. I was desperate to please her. I must give her everything. She continued to stroke my head. She's wonderful. As she started to cum, she gathered a handful of my ponytail like a handle and directed me. That was so exciting. "Right there Jan... do more of that... good girl...don't stop..." she cooed. I never wanted to stop. Every word she spoke thrilled me. She was delicious. She gushed buckets. I loved every drop and slurped it all up greedily. It was lovely.

Saturday February 22, 2003

It's my birthday. I'm 21. Finally "legal." Marie wanted me to come to her house around 2 PM and I guessed we were going to have lunch or dinner together. I didn't really ask. When I rang the doorbell Marie answered in a distracted, off-hand manner, "come on in." I should have known better. As soon as I walked in to the kitchen "Suprise!" There is Alice and Jeany (who I haven't seen since high school!) and a little girl, and Aunt Nini.

Alice got Nini from the home and everyone parked in the garage so I wouldn't know anyone was here. How sweet! And Jeany's pregnant! I was so happy. I really did cry. We all hugged and laughed.

I hardly ever see Alice anymore since she moved. We were... still are... best buds since grade school! We really tore up those dance clubs years ago! Ha! the memories! She has a nice career that keeps her busy. Still happily single. I've got to see her more often. Maybe lunch or something.

And Jeany! In her third trimester. Married, the girl is her daughter, Sally. 5 1/2 years old and cute as a button. And so smart! She's signed up for T-ball and practices cheerleading. Jeany explains that 5 year olds cheerleading is hilarious. No two girls are doing the same thing, unless you count falling down a lot. Everyone loves Sally. She's a little sweetheart. So that's what happened to Jeany! Husband's name is Michael, a real estate broker. He's not Sally's father. Sally does not know (Shhh!). Jeany and Sally seem so happy. I'm very glad for them.

Aunt Nini has a new hearing aid and we can actually talk now. It was getting kind of sad because we did both like to talk on the phone, but you couldn't when she never understood what you were saying. It's much better now. She's perfectly sharp for 87. Real slow to move around though. Everyone politely thrusts an arm forward to help every time she goes to stand, but she's still cool. Full of life. It's great that they went to the trouble of bringing her here. She hasn't been out in probably two years. This is special.

Marie had a magnificent buffet lunch for us laid out in a flash. Well... we all helped. She had some sort of crab imperial as a dip and all sorts of crackers and breads for it. Potato salad and cole slaw and little sandwiches. And she didn't forget a cake for me! My favorite!

Carrot cake with white frosting with "Happy Birthday Janet" in pink frosting and flowers. Everyone got a little tipsy on white wine or gin & tonics. Hell! I'm legal now!

This was so much fun! I knew that since Mom died I was getting quite morose. Every day I wanted to pick up the phone to call her as I always had. I miss Mom so much. But this is so sweet. These are my closest friends, my family. This is so nice. We talked for hours.

It was too soon that the sun set. Alice had to take Nini back to the home. Jeany needed to get back to her hubby. Sally was cranky, rubbing her eyes. She missed her nap. Poor thing! We loaded everyone into their cars slowly. I did not want to say goodby.

I offer to help Marie clean up. We finished quickly. Marie's kitchen is so nice. The dishwasher just swallowed up everything. There was room to put everything away quickly. Fun actually, not work.

"Well happy birthday Jan," Marie said with a smile. "Don't leave yet. I have something for you." Actually, I hadn't been thinking of leaving. We've only known each other two weeks, or four if you counted email exchanges, but I like her a lot. "This is special for you, I hope I'm not out of line," she said as he hands me a neatly wrapped gift box. It was about ten by ten inches, two inches tall and rather heavy. She's so sweet. Silver paper, red ribbon, and a little card "To Jan, Happy Birthday, Love Marie." I read that two or three times. "Love Marie," it said, "Love Marie." "Oh Marie,"I hugged her, "this is so nice!" I pulled of the ribbon gently, but tore open the silver paper. I was impatient to see!

Inside the tissue paper was a necklace. Or a choker, I wasn't sure. It was smooth polished silver metal. Not just a circle, but curved to lay on your neck. Sensuously shaped, like a woman's neck. It's about a half inch thick and reflected light like a mirror it was so smooth and polished. "It's beautiful,"I exclaimed, really impressed. It is heavy. The hinge and clasp are so finely made that they are nearly invisible. "It's German," Marie explains, "highly polished surgical stainless steel, they say. A very durable... shall we say... lifetime finish."

She reaches out and lays her hand on mine. "Jan," she begins, "I want you to understand. This is for you from me. It is a collar that can be locked and won't come off without a special tool. You seemed to really enjoy my collars and that was a real turn-on for me. I wore those because I loved Arthur and gladly gave myself to him. This is your collar. Just yours. From me. I will now ask if you will give yourself to me. Maybe we need to talk first... set down some rules or agreement..."

I reached over and placed my fingers on her lips, gently silencing her. I placed the box on the table and hugged her, kissing her as deeply as I could. "Marie, whatever you desire is my fondest dream. I will have no conditions except that you take me as I am. If you will have me, I will love you as much as anyone possibly can without reservation. I will do all that you need, anything," I whispered. I was trembling. This was not a joke. This was a deeply moving, lovely ceremony. Church organs and singing choirs were not needed. "How do we put this on me?"

She kissed me. It was different and wonderful and magic. I went limp in her arms. She was a Goddess, strong, almost radiating heat, the essence of female perfection to me. "I will take you. I will love you without any reservation. I will provide everything that you need. Kneel here," she said. I knelt and lowered my head. The metal was cold, but I did not flinch. The cold felt wonderful. It flowed through me like a wave of white-hot passion. I wanted to savor the moment forever. I will savor the moment forever. It fits perfectly. Not even a little tight, but presses snugly against my skin all around my neck, resting gently on my shoulders, chest, and back evenly. It feels wonderful.

It only took a few seconds. I never saw the tool, nor did I want to. I don't want to know where it is. Only that she holds it. My collar took my heat and warmed. It is now part of me.

Sunday 7 PM February 23, 2003

I am so excited. I stayed the night "of course," she said. I'm going to move in! She's going to take care of medical insurance, replace my crappy car, everything for me! She said that if I wanted, it would be fine if I quit my job. Wow! I won't miss that boring drudgery. She even asked if I wanted a motorcycle since I had talked about bikes so much before! She wants me to shop online for a whole bunch of neat kinky stuff... shoes... corsets... bondage toys... she knows so much! This is so cool!

She gave me a charge card in my name! Platinum! Suggested that if I spend more than a thousand dollars a month, I should let her know. Wow! $1000 a month just to blow!?! aaannndd that's just a suggestion!

I was a little uncomfortable about all the financial stuff. I'm no gold-digger or whore. But she started to give me details of her finances. Wowweee! I was struggling to make $24k... she makes 40 times as much... easily... in a bad year!!!! She owns that company her husband started... lock, stock, and barrel as they say. Huge defense contracts... bunches of them... making all sorts of stuff..."hush hush stuff"... probably $5000 military toilet seats for all I know about how that works... or maybe nuclear-powered shower clogs for astronauts. None of my business.

Anyway, she just WANTS ME WITH HER. This is so nice. So romantic and sweet. What's a big deal to me, is trivial to her. She mentioned that if it was alright with me, maybe I could do some housework and she would let the maids go.

"Maids?" I asked. She explained that she contracted a service and two maids came in every Thursday to clean the house top to bottom.

Then she stopped and stared at me. Then she broke into a great big laugh... a huge sincere, body-shaking laugh. It took me a second or two to figure out what was going on.

Then it dawned on me. I had wrinkled up my nose and frowned. A serious scowl. I was jealous! She was still laughing, but blurted out while actually holding her gut..."What? Did you think they worked in tiny black outfits with fishnets and heels... French accents... teeny little aprons and hats?" She was still laughing, hardly able to talk.

I blushed. Yes, something like that was the image that flashed through my mind. "They come to work in uniforms like a mechanic at a gas station except they wear pleasant pastel colors. They're nice, hard-working, regular people. They do great work and clean everything.They're bonded... and that doesn't mean anything like BDSM... that's like guaranteed Sweety," she explained, still obviously enjoying herself immensely. "I have two work together so they watch each other and there's less chance someone might be tempted to steal. Besides, this is a big house... two full baths, two half baths, five bedrooms, family room, living room, basement rec room, lots of windows, laundry room, kitchen, formal dining room... it's big. There is a room that I clean myself. Maybe you can clean it in the future," she explained, wiping tears from her eyes. She had finally stopped laughing.

"Uh... No... no... I mean yes... I mean... I love you! Your house is sooo cool! It would be no trouble at all to keep this place nice. My grandma showed me the right way to scrub floors... on your knees with a brush... nothing else really works... lots of clean water to mop up... Mom taught me everything to keep a house nice... I can sew... I can cook... it would be fun... I like your garden..." I was babbling.

She laughed again. "OK then, It's settled. You get to stay home a lot," she said. She looked satisfied. That made me very happy. We had passed another milestone together. I would "do" for her for all I was worth, happily. I really will work hard for her.

I love her so much. We made love for hours. It was dreamy. I told her to please stop having the maids come in. I assured her that I would take care of everything for her. This house is so big and beautiful it would be fun for me to stay home and just take care of it. She told me that she's going to change her will, change her investments and insurance policies and everything. My head reeled at the unfamiliar concepts. On paper, I was going to be a housekeeper. I'd have a salary, a 401K (whatever that is) where I'd save $15,000.00 a year... SAVE 15K every year!... full medical benefits... tax deductions... amortize expenses... "Shut up and lay still so I can lick your pussy properly! I have to take care of you," I stated matter-of-fact. She nodded and laid back, closed her eyes and smiled, folded her hands on her tummy, spread her legs nice and relaxed for me to stroke and hold and kiss.

In the morning, I got up quietly before her...2 AM... no alarm... I just woke up. I guess I was just excited and I know she gets up so early. Poor thing. Fancy, important job and all. Showered. Dried and brushed my hair, simple ponytail will do. A little makeup just to look clean and fresh. Slipped into a teddy and heels, no undies or hose. A few bangles to make things fun.

I made her breakfast. Found a tray and carried it up to OUR bedroomfor HER!Lucky timing... I heard her alarm going off. She smiled at me... such a big warm smile! She liked my breakfast! Scrambled eggs... she likes those fluffy and dry... made the bacon crunchy... it's not hard if you're careful... coffee (of course) milk, one sugar. My thoughts were a jumble. My furniture... I don't know what to bring or what. It's OK though. Everything will be fine... just fine.

Monday February 24 2003

It was so romanitic... in our special kinky sort of way. "Our way," that sounds so nice, feels so nice. We talked for hours about what we each wanted, what we both wanted.

Mistress is so loving, so wonderful. She wants everything for me that She experienced with Her late husband. They enjoyed a deep satisifying love AND the most profoundly perverted sex humanly possible.

Arthur was completely devoted to Her. He protected, provided, cared, like the best normal intelligent husband... and made certain that She was in a constant state of sexual arousal. At all times there was the hint... the possiblity of the most extreme deviant pleasures. He was a brilliant engineer. Could build anything. Hotrods as a teenager, custom electronics in a heartbeat, repairing radar units in the airforce, advanced degrees from prestigous universities. Soon started a company building heavens-only-knows-what for the military. Made a fortune.

She was completely devoted to him. She was a normal, happy wife and co-worker, a partner in their business. MBA and CPA, truly a biz-wiz, brilliant in Her own way. But at all times, She was ready and willing to be a sex toy, a slave. She knew that She was loved as a wife and friend... but also must perform any act ordered, endure any sensation given. She felt like the sexiest woman with the finest lover in the world. She must have been the perfect submissive. When She tells some of Her stories, i can easily imagine Her strapped down helplessly, reveling in a prolonged orgasm at Arthur's hand. Eager, proud, loving, and loved as a slave. And She wants this for me!!!

After Arthur, other men could not satisfy Her. Professional associates were too... professional... vanilla. BDSM people from clubs etc. did not seem real, no hope of a true love. She withdrew into Her memories and filled Her time with work.

Mistress says that when i contacted Her, She was leary, but interested. i sounded just like Her at an earlier stage of life and as lonely and confused as She is now. She said, "When we first met, there was an immediate spark that I could not deny." What a lovely thought. Now, we are both adults. We both know that love at first sight is for kids, not real, an illusion... or so we both thought. She said that every time we talked, met, or played around, it felt more and more right... undeniable... unstopable. Just thinking about what She said is so wonderful.

Before we fell in love, i was never happy. i have always wanted something that i could not even begin to figure out. Nothing was right. The more i knew about Her, the more certain and secure i became. i've never been happier. This is the answer to every prayer. Finally!

Anyway... here are some of the things we decided and both swore to uphold. We are both serious about these... and it was a lot of fun. There was a lot of negotiating going on here too. Most were mutually agreed, some were Hers, some mine.

1) i will now always refer to myself as "i." Mistress will always be "Mistress" or at least "She" from today forward. (Actually, in public i'm supposed to call her "Auntie." This is really for my diary. She knows how important my life story is to me.)

2) This is our agreed signal from Her that we are going to play. When She tells me to dress-up, or lays out any BD equipment (especially a collar), or calls me "slave" or "hotbox"; i must be prepared and eager for whatever She wants. I will accept and enjoy whatever Mistress offers me. (Pant! Oh yes please!)

3) This is our agreed signal from me that i want to play. If i dress-up, or clean and maintain our equipment, or put on a collar, She consented to bind me and She promises that She will consider allowing me to orgasm if i'm good. i may beg for sex anytime i need to. (IF i'm good? Oh my! How often is that going to be?)

4) We both promise to learn, study, and perform the finest oral sex as a high art form. (YEAH!)

5) We both promise to find or make and experiment with sex toys of all types. (HOORAY!)

The following rules apply whenever i am wearing a collar:

6) When Mistress says i've been bad, i will be whipped. (purrrrrr)

7) When i confess that i've been bad, i will be whipped, across my breasts right on my nipples and maybe right on my pussy when i've been especially naughty. (My specifications! i would not take "no" for an answer)

8) i must never say "no". I will be gagged and whipped if i do. (Sounds fair)

9) i will answer promptly when Mistress requires a response. I may use any words necessary. (of course)

10) i may not start a sentence or ask a question on my own. i may say ONLY these words: yes Mistress i love You please fuck me harderr. i may use these words in any combination that i need. Say any other word without having been asked, and i will be gagged or whipped or both. (I love Her ideas!)

11) i am allowed to whine, moan, whimper, or make any other wordless animal noise that i need to use. (Neat ideas my Mistress has, cool!)

12) Mistress promises that as often as She thinks necessary, i will be chained and cuffed during sex. (i begged for this)