All Comments on 'How to NOT Lose a Guy'

I had to laugh at your opening paragraph. Well done and I'm still not sure your true point of view.

"And that's why I'm trying to drive this point home: We are the stronger sex. We're more secure, we're better equipped. You HAVE to let him win sometimes. It's the key."

This line had me rolling. Women, secure? Tell me, have you ever visited the planet earth? :P

(I am a man, and a "nerd". Heh. )

but, having said that, I must quicly qualify that "strength" comes in many forms: there's good amount of studies that show that women can really withstand great pain longer than men.

child labor is one clear example (whether or not men are able to, or want to, go through that is irrelevant; fact is, women can withstand hours, sometimes days!, of serious, deep, constant pain and don't faint!

other kinds of "strengths" --- now, that's open to debate.

it is also shown through studies (and since this IS sort of a "porn" site, I hope this specific note is relevant), that women are more willing to endure and adapt to activities and circumstances of not their making, circumstances which are initially considered to be ugly, not tasteful, degrading, humiliating, etc. For example, studies have shown that pertaining to PORN ACTORS and ACTRESSES, women are EASILY made to do lesbian acts and do some of the most bizarre and most degrading things and acts, WHILE MALE PORN guys are HARDLY subject to equivalent acts.

I've watched quite a few porn shows and I've never seen a female porn spitting into the mouth of a guy or have him lick a dick or a dildo that had just come out of his butt, for example: but these are shown in 99.9 of all porn shows with women.

okay, let's get off that subject! --- the point is, women and men bear pains, suffer humiliation, exhibit strength, etc. differently.

so, if being able to suffer, or, in some masochistic way, being willing to subject oneself to great degree of self-degradetion and smile about it ,,, like, say, 5 or more guys pissing, ejaculating, and sodomizing a small woman and all she's able to do, willing to do, is grimace and smile about it (sometimes, rare occasion, you actually see some tears, even in porn taping sessions!) ---- "all in a day's fun" --- then, yes, women have "more strengths",,,

Good Story and funny but hey everyone knows all a girl has to do to keep a guy is show up naked and bring beer----LOL

Keep it up Guy

Writingdragon

A lot of good points. It was quite obvious that it was written for a woman to read.

But to be honest I found some of the "women are stronger" completely offensive. BUT if this is to be taken as a conversation between women with no men around, yeah, I can see that.

Women need to realize Men are insecure sometimes, yeah. We want to be taken care of too. It's harder to ask for us. We don't do the emotional politics from birth like they do.

We need women, completely true. Men can be self destructive. So can women.

The more I look at gender differences the more I realize we all want the same thing through different ways.

The trick is finding a partner with the maturity to do things honestly and evenly.

I'm tired of this. I'm tired of hearing which gender is the better. I'm tired of hearing which gender has power. I'm tired of the whole thing.

Why? Because both ARE equal but in different ways. No, that's not some politcally correct brainwashing bullshit but wisdom bought and paid for with my own dirty blood. I've spent half of my life in the Navy and I've endured every type of human being imaginable from either gender. A few good people, some decent people and a whole lot of bad people. If you think you know all of humanity's secrets then I advise you to take your ass down the street and you'll find someone who can fuck your theories up beyond recognition.

Besides the obvious, women and men are better equipped to do somethings better than others. That is only NATURE at work. Via NUTURE, a person can bypass these ingrained handicaps while at the same time wasting thier innate gifts. People like to take the easy route which is why men are usually pigs and women are usually bitches. But ANY attempt to generalize is risky at best and foolish at worst.

Now, as for "men destroy while women create" is the worst gender generalization I've ever heard and keep hearing. Yes, the genders TEND towards these standards but each do the opposite in ways the other can only imagine. Men build weapons but they also build homes. Women raise doctors but they also raise murderers. For every strength one gender claims to have you can find it's equal in the other and the same goes for weaknesses. Motivation for any of these is as plenty and diverse as the flakes of snow.

Men are NOT from Mars and Women are NOT from Venus! We're ALL differently equal fuckups from Earth! Now deal with it!

I'm tired too

Typical bashing bullshit from

stuck-up people who fantasize they are so great

Or now I really know why men will never understand an aardvark and women a kangaroo. But if they would just step back from everything for say 10 yards, it can be tolerable for awhile or longer on a hot day while eating Gobbers Chocolate Covered Ants - you know like an Aardvark.

Words to live by and fro.

Gosh writer this was as enlightening as you intended but now you really need to follow this up with How To Catch A Raccoon Red Footed In Your Gabage Can while fiddling on your old possum.

Seriously - this was so - it was like a rebirth of - everyone should - if you ever haven't - wow this is tough and its way shorter than yours writer.

I liked it for its nonsense, quickness and multidirectional subculture tendencies but then also how it pisses off both sexes for the secrets revealed.

Thanks Author - A little less serious on your next please although this had to be a formative hoot for you!

So... contempt's your thing. Half the species are pigs, yet should be chased-after? And a book where a guy makes soap out of other people's a good template.

I'm sure you have a following, but you're full of shit.

i was completely entertained. but actually found more truth in it than i would have guessed. loved the movie fight club as well, absolutely brilliant movie. i could believe that the conversation really did take place, albeit a few tweaks here and there but still keeping the essence.

Lothario, I may or may not be any great talent at writing, but YOU ARE!!!! Any man who can write about women like that -- about, RELATIONSHIPS, like that... Well, if you think you're "Writing just for yourself," or "It's just a hobby"...? Then you're as chickenshit as Cindy! Sorry for the ALL CAPS and the !!!exclamation points!!!, but you're the real thing. Coca-Cola. Jackie (Chan, Robinson, or Kennedy Onassis, take your pick).

I think what you wrote Lothario was very truthful - and maybe I do say this only because I am a woman. But I can recognize things in this piece written from your male perspective as well. I think it was very well-written, and it gives me hope that I will find that guy. Thank-you so much.

Well, this sheds a somewhat new light on "Girl Gone Mild".

Lothario - Tons of idiots rated it low because they disagreed with what you said. I disagree with many points you make, but that doesn't make this a poor read in any way, shape, or form. I enjoyed it - it was very frank and very thought-provoking. Thank you.

<p>Not to put too fine a point on it, but there are additional levels of analysis to consider when talking about men and women, and none of it is simple. On the other hand, you can't just say that "all people are different" and leave it at that.

<p>Perhaps the best quote on the subject is mine: "People can surprise you, but usually don't."

<p>People are like chemical reactions: the greater the volume, the more predictable they are, but the more you zoom in, the less predictable things become. I hate to continue this rather technical analogy, but it makes sense: for any given chemical reaction, if you're dealing with a large reactant volume, then the volume of the product can be predicted very precisely. But at smaller volumes, say a few million molecules, you can kiss your predictions goodbye: you'll get anywhere from zero percent product to one hundred percent product, and it'll be different every time.

<p>Zoom in close enough, and chemical reactions can surprise you. So can people. Feel free to judge a book by its cover at long range, but remember that the better you get to know him or her, the greater the chances that he or she will surprise you.

<p>Let's talk about statistics. Statistically, women have better energy reserves. Statistically, women deal with pain better. Statistically, women approach homosexual relationships with an open mind. These statistics are accurate given a large enough population, but .

<p>That being said, statistics can be combined with experience to help you avoid problems. If I see a woman with bleached blond hair and the female version of a beer gut, wearing expensive brand-name clothes and too much makeup, I figure I've got a 99% chance that she's vain and drinks too much, no matter what the statistics say about the intelligence of women. I'll approach her with an open mind, of course, because people CAN surprise you... but she probably won't. So while I'm polite to her, I won't go for her unless she says something that blows my mind. I want more than a good lay, I want a good conversation, and I'm not likely to get good conversation from a girl who values Budweiser and Tommy Hilfiger. The same goes for men, too.

<p>That being said, there is such a thing as protective coloration. The blonde in the above example may know that men are more likely to be threatened by a woman if she cuts her hair short and wears combat boots, so she's picking her battles and taking the path of least resistance. This complicates things.

<p>Which brings me to my last point: we really need new words. "Male" and "Female" are chromosomal configurations with scientific weight behind them, but what it means to be a "man" or to be a "woman" is much less precise and depends a lot on a vague thing called "culture." A lot of American culture dates back to the Victorian era, in which men worked hard to be the provider and expected women to be property of home and hearth. Back then, they thought sex was PAINFUL to women ("Lay back, dear, and think of England"). This is where "the Patriarchy" that many feminists (bless their hearts) love to bash comes from, and to be honest, I hate "the Patriarchy" with a fiery passion -- and I'm a guy! Anytime I hear some smirking patriarch talk about "what women want," I want to rip his face off. Which is funny, because that's exactly the way I feel when some lesbian tells me that men are pigs.

<p>Ladies and gentlemen, don't let yourself be limited by what it means to be a man or a woman. Decide for yourself what's masculine and feminine, and remember that a lot of the traits we assign to men and women are just that: traits, as neutral as neutrons (see what I did there?) and as applicable to women as they are to men. Sometimes, women aren't assertive because society has taught them that to be assertive is bad for women. Sometimes, men hide their emotions because society has told them that BOYS DON'T CRY. But the assertiveness is there, and so are the tears. They are products of our mutual inheritance.

<p>Throw off your invisible chains. Don't let anyone tell you what you're supposed to be, and change your mind only when someone hands you a good argument with sources cited. Remember always that we are HUMAN beings first, GENDERED beings second.

Ignore people that post negative comments here, your writing was very insightful (not to mention true)

This was a good read with some neat incite, but the main problem in its delivery is that it reduces men and women to stereotypes, when in reality, there are little differences between the two. The conclusion is that men need to be tricked into things by women and are lacking of self-awareness. However, although I agree that a lot of men are immature, your piece really does not address that it is this same immaturity in women that drives suitors away. In the end, it seems that the true idea of attraction has less to do with gender archetypes and is based more along the lines of what PEOPLE want in one another.

Fucking great

i cant wait to share this with other people ^^

this would go well with the book "he just not that in to u"

cause after i read that i felt like shit and that all guys just suck

and only by some small chance a girl like me would meet her prince charming

or as u put it the perfect "Myers-Briggs personality type" guy .

but your way of projecting the truth that women are better and deserve to be with some one who will keep them happy and stay with them cause that's how it should be and if women don't take a stand now how long will it take for this destructive pattern to stop

cause we hold the power with our vagina's lol

so over all you write excellent how to stories

don't stop writing you saving the world one sentence at a time ^^ lol

Thank you

But what about the man who works hard, puts the kids thru college & builds a nest egg strong enough for her to have no money worries as long as she lives & then she decides she’s no longer interested in any sort of sex.

What about then? What’s he to do then?

After 15 years of marriage most guys I know get shuttled into a once a week sex program only when it’s dark & the lights are all but dark & if a period comes then they just skip that week.

A request for just a 10 minute hand session is turned down without a thought.

How does that work out for the men?

Bill S.