All Comments on 'How Wonderful Ch. 05'

You are giving a picture of believable gross stupidiy on her part. I hope there is a suitable denouncement of all the guilty parties soon. You're building the tension a little high.

Its not badly written but the fucking story is so drawn out that whatever happens HAS to be a let down

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<b> MISTAKES THIS AUTHOR MADE </b>

1. The 1st mistake this author made was back in chapter 1. Here we are in capter 5 and the fact that mark is a) Black b) has a 12 inch cock are both totally irrelvant.

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if so why make a such a big deal out of it earlier?

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2. The internal argument that wife makes within herself are so bizzare that it makes it IMPOSSIBLE come to grips with it... and so the ending will be shit.

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even at this point knowing SAME s NOT concernd about possible layoffs.... the sudden coldeness and hostility same has towards her.... her #1 goal is to figure out a way to keep fucking Mark without getting caught while she LOVES her wonderful husband

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how can this cogntive dissoance possibly be resolved?

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statement like this from Gerri after she fucks Mark make the oife look like she is 100% nuts

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<i>I felt sure that I was not going to have to do anything to keep Sam from having sex with me tonight and it made going back home a little easier.... the fact that she caused this whle thing to happened in the 1st place never occurs to her </i>

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and this one as well

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<i>I knew that I must, because if I didn't, there would be a slip and Sam would find out. Next, I tried to calculate how long I could safely continue before I had to end it. Also, I was wondering if I only met with Mark say once a month or every six weeks, would that reduce the risk? I had a lot to ponder. </i>

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but she doesnt ponder actually stopping.

his kids are in harm way and he playing games with the nuts.you said you waiting on tapes,now you got tapes.this story is getting stupid now.

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah so much, we have no idea. but it makes him happy to know that he's beginning to make Gerri "uncomfortable," when he finally gets to see how she's been fucking brother Mark at his and Sharon's for months. <p>

he's making her a little jumpy and uncomfortable, all right. man, ain't you just the smartest husband! you managed to make your beautiful and hard working mother all jumpy, eh? LOL! <p>

and then he contineud on blah, bglah, blah, blah, blah, blah,,,,,

She is having sex with a person who could be having sex with a number of people. The disease potential is extremely large. She is willingly giving her children up to have her affair and is taking all shorts of time from her husband while totally disrespecting and betraying him with continous lies and sexual relations with another person. The only revenge you can get legally is to throw her out as soon as possible with no source of income and no kids. If you have the restraining order do it now, dont wait a second!

Yes, when married women hang around together and especially if they are great friends this sort of thing (cheating) does happen a lot. Especially if one of them is more daring than the others. I like this story and like the fact that Sam does not blow his top right after he began to see signs that his wife was cheating on him, instead he waited and watched her sink deaper in her debauchery. After all if he really wants to get rid of her he must gather proofs of her cheating first. The story is fairly well written and the plot is interesting. I do know that some men out there will not agree with Sam's reaction when he first discovered the first sign of cheating from his wife, but violence and/or the loosing of one's temper will solve noting and it will just gives munitions to the cheating wife when the divorse comes.

I can also understand that a very big cock could be a temptation to a woman that has had little experience with men. I certainly dont approve of cheating mind you but the plot of the story is realistic and I did enjoy the story so far.

Having sex with a person who could be having sex with multiple other partners? <p>

It is not a matter of whether or not the handsome, intelligent, and extremely Black brother COULD be having multiple other sexual partners. <p>

It is a question of --- the brother being such big tall handsome stud, with a 12 cock and two WHITE women hanging on to BOTH his arms on a daily like this (one married with a couple young kids, whom she brought to HIS place as she's there to BE FUCKED and ONE her best friend and his live in girlfrind) --- HOW MANY other sexual partners he's with on a weekly, monthly, basis, while he is in town as well as when he is OUT OF TOWN, on "business"? <p>

The brother don't need to count when counting women he's fucked ain't that important! <p>

If these beautiful, accomplished, highly educated WHITE blue eyed blonde best (women) friends are so crazy about this brother ---- why wouldn't countless other equally beautiful, accomplished, and loving tender blue eyed blondes not also want to love him? <p>

After all, again, he is tall, handsome, ROMANTIC, with a big, 12-inch forever stiff which could service Gerri and Sharon at the same time, same bed, for HOURS... a 12-inch cock of a few inches in diameter... Imagine this beautiful picture: <p>

Two beautiful blondes (one a wife to a wimpy white man with two little daughters playing outside and the other hte brother's live-in white girlfriend), trying to out do each other in their giggling attempts to putting the whole handsome rod inside their little pretty oval white mouths, as they struggle to open them, with glimering white teeth and sparkling blue eyes which are always looking up, to see if the brother smiles or not, at their sucking techniques. <p>

The picture's worth 10,000 words! Anyone who'd try to stop such WONDERFUL loving fun activties ---- they need to be shot dead! <p>

And, if you're thinking,,, no, no fear of STD's or HIV, though, because it is not only a fictional story .... but EVEN IN REAL LIFE, brothers like this handsome dude are VERY, VERY CAREFUL of the beautiful and exclusive white women he sleeps with. He TOLD Sharon and Gerri that; and they BELIEVE him. Why would he lie to them. He has no reason, after they love him and he loves them! <p>

It's only false rumors that Blacks, on average, have the highest rates of STD and HIV infections; these are just rumors started by jealous wimpy White males and ugly red neck White girls, just to soil the reputation of the brothers! ;o)

Well written, bit long, I feel cheap, like watching the post mortem of a once fine marriage, but unable to look away.

The pacing of this story is so slow I have finally given up. Forget that this is an old premise (cheating because it feels soooooooo good, since the black stud has a 12 inch dick, right, right) and that the characters are unrealistically stupid and wooden...the problem is that the author has drawn out this story, giving in short bursts a little action while keeping the reader hanging. Enough is enough. I want to gag the author with the fictional 12 inch cock. Bye

I am waiting for the author to change her pills so she gets pregnant for all the fucking she has been getting.....That would be the next logical step before the divorce.

This is a well crafted story and I have looked forward to each installment. I don't understand all the criticism. This is erotic fiction and should be enjoyed for what it is, a great story.

You've moved the story along better this time, and are providing new information with each change in the viewpoint character. Nice job! As far as the plot... well, there isn't much new under the sun, especially in a "cheating wives" story, so the readers have seen it all before. Many of them have certain expectations as to what should happen, and how quickly it should unfold. That's what seems to be driving many of the more negative comments here. Keep that in mind, and don't let the haters get you down.

I am tired of the reader criticism. If you don't like it, don't read it. It's fiction and that's all it is. If you want something different, go write it yourself and see how difficult it really is. I actually like the double perspective storyline of Sam and Gerri. This takes some skill to do it - so give the author a break. What I usually criticize is when I don't think character development has been done enough or that the grammar, spelling, punctuation is pathetic. That's what troubles me the most. I think this story has some cute twists and turns in it. Looking forward to more.

good story writer tell SAM to MARK sor black ass as he kicks gerri s ASS out the door/ AND to this GenghisKhan dude or fuck wadd whatever just bring your sorry ass down to georgia and i ll show you what WHITE means

I have to confess, I tricked the story - I jumped right through from chapter one to chapter five. You know -it was not such a bad experience! Then when I saw the multitude of repeated complaints I had to scheme back, and it all soured for me too. <P>

I have to assume that you have submitted the whole series in advance, or else I'd have to take it that you feel contempt to all of the many readers who repeatedly tell you that you have over stretched the unstretchable and turned what could have been (we'd never know now) a reasonable story into an agonizing Chinese torture - it's like: PLEASE MOVE ON it's like watching a rock growing. But that lesson , I understand is for the next story. <P>

Think, if you already make the story open to feedback by chapter - take advantage of this unique interactive medium of on line site and benefit from readers feedback! Submit it chapter by chapter and improve as you go! <P>

BTW, I can’t get over how distasteful and with no redeeming features the main women characters are. It does take away from the dramatic quality of the story of course because you don’t get to CARE much about the feelings, let alone the fate of such medusas. But what I am curious about is: do you really ENJOY creating such nauseating characters?

Although I agree with some of the criticisms that the bashers have made, some have made valid points.

Yes, I agree with Kolkore, you should have released one chapter at a time to read the feedback and, perhaps, take that into account when writing the next chapter.

Nonetheless, it is a good story albeit reading more like a back story with so much narative. Even so, you have a talent for telling a story and should not allow the bashing of so many anonymous ones who have never contributed anything to this site but bashes.

I suggest you substitute some not all of your narative for dialogue. I suggest you trust the reader by showing instead of telling us the story. I suggest you release one chapter at a time, read the comments, good, bad, or indifferent and continue the story.

I think the story has more good to it than bad. This is a gem of a story that happens to so many men and women and that so few take the time to tell.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Because it reads so real, I wonder if it is not your true story.

I shall look forward to your next chapter.

but too much drama.

The writer submitted a story in small increments and it's becoming clear that was because the "story" has already run on about 3 chapters too long.

two or three poor chapters this story is really heating up.I can see why he has waited so long before contemplating action.I hope she gets just what a cheating slutwife deserves.

I'm caught up in your story! I didn't find it until today and had the pleasure of reading all the installments together. I'm looking forward to more!!!! It's hard to believe this is your first attempt! As you have already been advised, don't lose too much sleep over the critics especially the one(s) named "anonymous". You've put a lot of time and energy into entertaining us and I appreciate it. You might note that some of the more vociferous of the critics appear never to have put the time and energy into writing and apparently have never posted a story. Certainly, they have never "walked a mile in your shoes".I read all that they have to say and there have been occasions when they have pointed out a way or ways I might have improved my story but most of the time its hard to know if they are responding to your story or to some issues in their own lives as the issues the raise often don't appear to relate . As I have already said, I'm looking forward to more.

Please kill the wife, this whore is too stupid to breath without help. I gave you a fifty, the 5 was because the writing from both perspectives is pretty good, the zero following it is because nobody could be as moronic in their thought process (or lack of) as this wife character.

this wife is a complete idiot

I love the way he is tormenting Gerri and Sharon. The way big Mark runs when he hears Sam's name is Hilarious, make the SOB suffer too.. Take those kids away from her and never let her see them alone again......

Paul

For those of us used to instant gratification, it is difficult to wait for the next installment. It is good to read about a man who is not a wimp, who doesn't do creampies, and who will take responsibility for his kids.

You have some how managed to cram a three (at best) chapter story in at least six. In addition, your plot is all over the place, and your prose is bland at best.

I appreciate how he figured out what needed to be done, and then doing it, including the messing with them. Knowing how he ended it, so much the better at the end, and bad for her. consequences

The cunt has been caught on tape. How will Sam proceed?

Good story but hubby a wimp and also a cuck. Here cuck, cuck cuck!

The legal aspects are questionable. Thanks.

about the legal matters, I don't think a restraining and custody order will stand against the mother who is the major carer, how can he prove that he can look after two kids while working full time. No alimony to the wife is a no go as well. Pity it is written well. TK

Sorry, TonyKiwi, you are completely wrong.

In many US states, divorcing for adultery kills the alimony. As for the children, a woman who abandons her kids and leaves them with a stranger in a park on a weekly basis, to engage in adultery would very likely lose custody. Please think before you write stupidity, and try to second guess the author. Cheating wife apologists are sickening.

that's shes' getting manipulated like she's been manipulating hubby. He still loses most, though. I hope he beats the nigger and wife's "friend".

Why doesn't he fuck w/ the whore's birth control. serve her right to have a nigglet or forced to have abortion.

Two cunts and a "gentleman" trapped in a burning house? A good start.

This series is typical of the overreaching aspects of amateur writing. The story should've ended with him finding the pills and learning about the babydoll lingerie. Instead, it veers off into this quasi-sci-fi story where MC becomes passive-aggressive (weak, unlikeable male), and the wife gets dumber. The logic and tension that filled and infused life into the early story are gone. This is like the fool playing Wheel Of Fortune who knows the puzzle but gets greedy and busts. That's why editors and beta-readers are vital to any writing project.