All Comments on 'I Love When He Calls Me Sis'

This story was beautiful. The lead up was amazing and the ending was definitely worth the wait.

addieQ is back! Yay!

The build up became boring right about the start of the second paragraph. That's when you lost control, and headed to boringville.

Love the story, the caring between brother and sister was amazing and so emotional w/o the insect... I couldn't finish the story but I intend to

A 5 star story. I truly love these kind of stories, that deal with love instead of just sex. The love between two people is more erotic and arousing then just simple fucking. Even though sis kept saying "fuck me" to Tim it most definitely was not, but Tim's showing sis his true feelings for her.

I certernly hope that you continue this story. Even if just for the remained of the holidays. Maybe they can tell the parents how they really feel about each other and that they want to stay together. Maybe that is why the parents told them because they could seethat love the kids had between them but didn't really comprehend .

It was great

I totally went WAY overboard with the endless build up, but I really loved writing it!

addieq

Love the build up. So sensual and erotic that I had cummed thrice.

5 STAR*****

A 5 star story...but it plodded along so horribly that I couldn't get past page 2.

And then he fucked me

There's a point where descriptive writing and character dialogue do more to impede the reader's emotional connection to the events they're reading about, than good. Words are means to an end, not the end in of themselves.You're a good writer but this story could have benefited from some judicious pruning.

It was amazing and it got me soo aroused like wow it deserves 5 starts kind of long though but sorta enjoyed the build up

Couldn't hold my attention long enough to get past page 1.

Loved it as always, pity I don't have a brother.

amazing story. love the long buildup. veeeerry sensual and beautifull. all around loved it!!!!

Hope to see this story continued.I am not one to criticize someone's grammar as mine is not great. Thanks

This long build up was excellent and quite descriptive of the developing situation.

You really are The Writer! Pls do more; about their future relationship, moving together, maybe pregnancy etc.

By the end of page 2, I had enough. I though I was going to gag on the dialogue between these two people. The story may improve considerably at some point, but these siblings carried of like 12 years old with their incredibly naive conversation and complete inability to accept their own sexuality. On top of that, they knew that they were no biologically related. Like I said, 12 year olds.

So many misspellings, missing words, run-on sentences, typos ... they were a distraction from what could have been a really good story. Reading it felt like making love while a car alarm goes off outside every 45 seconds.

Nevermind the negative feedbacks. Those folks wouldn't know love and intimacy if it kicked them in the privates!!!! <:/) lmao

I thought it was one of the best stories I've ever read. Normally typos and missing words drive me batty, but I read right through them in this story, I liked it that much.

Looking forward to more from you, Tony

You have that completely backwards, I do know well about love and intimacy. That's why I have such a problems with what I read.

PS; How about joining Lit. and using your name?

I write for my own enjoyment. I wrote this story with as much excess as I could create. Why? Because I enjoyed the process. This story is long-longlong! Why? Because I loved writing it that way!

And - I have tried to find an editor her on literotica, but never found anyone. I get that some mistakes weren't caught by me before posting, sorry.

addie

...for Addie :) I'm really starting to enjoy reading your work, woo! I will agree that there was a lot of repetitive... however I must say that repetitive usage is looking to be something of a writing style with what I have read of your work so far, and it works pretty well! ...a bit much on this one in a few places... all in all a beautiful and fun piece! Enjoyed it, well, because I could see where it was going right off! I know, usually it's fun to be surprised in a story and NOT know where it was going! lol. My wife likes murder mystery detective type shows so it's a game with us to figure 'whodunit' first! hehe.

...and again, with the guy being named Michael... got me going right off, again! heh ;)

M@

P.S. I'd occasionally edit for you for no other reason that I'd be able to get my grubby little hands, er hand, on your story FiRsT! ....that would be the problem though, I wouldn't get much work done editing with one hand on the keyboard! ;)

...guess I need to create an account on here so I can favorite things 'in game' and not have to go from computer to ipad and not have my bookmarks! teehee

Oh my god appears alot are you religious?

Hi everyone,

Would anyone want to edit this story down to about half it's length?

I am too invested in every little line to do it myself, but it might work really well as a shorter story. You could take this text here and edit it down.

If anyone wants to do this, just lemme know.

addie

Definitely not. I've never made any comment on any stories on literotica... but the details are what makes a story like this good. Trying to edit it down to something more concise is not only misguided but also pointless.

I really enjoyed this story and thought the length was just fine. In fact, it could have been a little longer and I still would have savored every word of it.

AddieQ's stories--with their slow, gentle build-up and soft atmosphere--are simply so much fun to read. Thanks, and please keep writing!

the story was boring and very poorly written, it reads like a first draft not a postable story. the best thing you can do is delete all stories and don't post anything until you get a good editor to rewrite all current stories. you have been around long enough to know better than to post a story with out going through a good editor first.

I liked the idea of the story and when it finally got to the sex, it was great. I agree you need an editor. Your dialogue was a little repetitive, and I think you can still have a good build up without having the same thoughts and actual dialogue repeated over and over. I almost gave up, but I'm glad I stuck it out till the end. If you're still interested in an editor, let me know and I'll gladly do what I can with it! :)

Don't edit the length, it was fine. I felt it was a great story as is. Thanks

You achieve such a magical mood as always. It never suprises me that you inspire such an extreme range of feedback. You inspire an emotion response in those who read your tales. Even those readers who claim to not be able to make it past the 2nd page still feel the need to then skip to the end to leave a comment stating that. A story should inspire and you certainly achieve that.

Yes an editor would help you polish the story but hopefully not detract from your natural style. Character dialogue is generally a hard thing to create, but to be honest most people tend to circle around the same topic when they talk, and often in the heat of the emotion all one can muster is a 'Oh God' or a string of Fucks. but in my opinion I don't think that repetition distracts too much from the mood you build, In a way I think it actually enhances the mood by having the characters so overwhelmed with emotion that all the can do is fixate on certain aspects.

Another beautiful, loving, intimate story from you. This is why you are my favorite author, addieQ. Please keep the stories coming. I like the length of them, where there is sufficient character development.

Loved it! Thank you for sharing your story with us!

Where is the next chapter?

Favorite author!

You may love to write as horrible as the 2nd and 3rd pages were... lost going in circles with NO focus, dialog seemed repeated and often way to long "in real life situations" reading this far was hard slogging through endless babble

I'd love to hear her tell first person what it would be like if he also took her anally!

just, wow. Thank you.

Best brother/sister story I have read in a long time. Beautiful!

The story was good but everytime he talked I couldn't help imagine a nine year old boy getting way too over excited while telling about his first time seeing a porno.

The word God came out of his mouth more than a pastor utters it during a year of service.

Tone that down a bit and it would be great!

A real nice story. I really enjoyed it. Thank you for posting it.

"Beautiful" 24 times on page 6 alone. Very distracting.

Several million technical errors detract from what could have been a nice story. There's also the fact that you basically copy pasted the same paragraph half a dozen times during the build up.

Sigh... everyone wishes they were an editor. I for one loved it. You're very passionate about the duality of love and sex and blend the two in quite a clever way that I find highly erotic. Excellent story and thank you for sharing it.

Like, reading your stories, but this one, way, way too long. Same thing over and over. You could have wrote this in about 3 pages. I got to page 3 and skipped the rest to just add this comment.

Leave the pussy alone, trim but REAL Men prefer a woman.

NOT the little kid look the wimps of today (boys 45 and lower) like.

I get so annoyed at silly people with silly comments...FUCK!

This Is brilliant!...never mind the silliness for this was spot on, the build up was incredible and had me going and most important of all, was just the right length. For those who want a quickie read a quickie. For those who want a "real" story like this one , enjoy. You have deservedly got 5 stars from me! I shall look for more of your material also....

I also get annoyed at comments from Anonymous people....what gives you the right to even comment when you cannot even become proper members and sign up? Sheesh!

The build up was a bit painful and sophmoric, like a young teen virgin was writing how she imagined it might be, but trying to be adult about it. Then, when you FINALLY got to the intercourse,you let your inbabitions go and the writing became what it should have been from the beginning. The end was absolutely steaming hot and erotic. It should.have been that from the start.

Is she going fishing? Work on your spelling, get an editor. Too many mistakes.

When some jerk says get an editor. They could at least offer help....

Here is a trick professional proofreaders use. They read the piece normally,

Then they read it backwards one word at a time. this forces them you to focus on every wore. Brains are lazy shits, they think we just wrote this and it is ok. ya right.

reading it backwards will allow you to catch sooo many mistakes...

then read the piece one final time to make sure you have not changed the intent.

Dont let the nay sayers get you..Think to yourself, where is their stuff? Those who can DO those who can't critize (ya I cant spell either)

Hugs

I am Butch Davies

auhunter04@yahoo.com

you dont have to answer unless you want

It has been years, but one of my all time favorite word smiths here.

WOW!

This is strange for me. Despite trying to elevate this to an emotional story, I come away conflicted. The constant repetition draws me out of the story and makes it closer to porn than many of the emotional romance stories here. It's hot but feels a little shallow just from the composition. It's a show don't tell problem. Given that this is the latest story I suppose I can't hope to see improvement unless the author comes back. This has something but needs a more diverse descriptive palate to be told as intended.

The eroticism of his cock deep inside her pussy so aptly described my younger brother's cock deeply imbedded in my pussy. My brother is two years younger than me. His cock is beautiful and big. I let him have me when I was 21 and he was 19. I was his first. It was so wonderful the way his cock filled my pussy as he plunged so deeply over and over. Once we started it was almost impossible to stop. It was so good we had to do it all the time.