All Comments on 'I Saw Her at the Party'

That wasn't her first dalliance with that guy in thr bathroom. Not with what she said, nor her sheer brazen audacity to do it at at the party she threw for the MC. She was head over heels in lust with the asshole and now she has nothing. Too bad. So sad. Don't cheat.

From the talk going on in the bathroom, there is no way it was her first time with him. The right outcome.

Silly woman, he was committed, she wasn't.

Epilogue: One month after they broke up Jason had three guys pick up Sarah at a bar where she was hanging out. They took her to a cheap motel and used her all night. They took videos and pictures of her being their fuck toy whore. When they were done with all of her cheating skank holes she was sprawled on the bed completely spent and aching for the all night fuck fest they'd had with her, one of them said, "Jason said to tell you, 'now we're even.'" She could never prove any of this was set up by Jason, so she just ended up being the same old slut she'd always been.

A $16,000 engagement ring and they are just finishing at college?

He owns a boat while at college?

From first person to third person narrative shows sloppy work. The rest is just another caught wife, girfriend, cheating. 3 stars at best

All the comments from the moralizers... Geeze. Sounds to me like she had a problem with alcoholism. Everyone knows that it suppresses normal inhibitions. Basically, what people do in the grip of alcohol starts as sober thoughts, including fantasies which one acts upon. I would bet that her problems of 'making out' or other inappropriate behavior were her insecurities coming out as flirty behavior that escalated with alcohol. Could she get beyond that problem with help, especially therapy? Certainly. Just NOT with the former fiancee. He needs someone to have his back', which she never could in the future given the perceived lack of trust. What sane person would go into a marriage with such a burden? None, I would hope. The only coda I would add to this story is the sister getting her help and getting her life in order again. That, and the guy going on to find a loving (faithful, loyal) spouse and the Ex-fiancee saw them around town. Object lesson as revenge, perhaps, to make a fitting end.

Always better to get rid of a spouse like her. She was just another man's or men's slut in waiting....She would never have respect for him. In fact I doubt she would have any love or respect for any one man.

This was better than the story I had just read before. Get an editor and this story wouldn't be half bad. I'm glad that this dude wasn't the typical "I can't stand up for myself/I'm helplessly alone/don't have anyone to confide in or help me out of this mess," kind of guy. I hate reading about how the guy is oblivious to the obvious, or can't do anything about it. Good job on that part. Also, good job at not being over the top.

He should have trashed that guys shoulder. Give him something to remember the next time he pulls a move on a woman in a relationship.

Great 5 Stars he did the right thing thank the lord he didnt marry the cheater.

@Anonymous. Do you remember the spark of excitement you got from kissing your partner for the first time? How it was more than a kiss and sent a jolt across your body. That excitement is one of the reasons why people cheat is to relive that feeling. (money, escape abuse, find true love, etc)

Good simple story. Only wish Jason took the microphone to out her infidelity.

"Thank you everyone for coming to the party to celebrate the completion of my Graduation thankfully arranged by my girlfriend Sarah. I am very proud to have completed my Graduate degree and look forward to the next stage of my life", Jason pulls out a small tiffany blue ring box and holds it above his head to excited gasps and cheers of the crowd.

At that moment, Sarah reappeared from the bathroom having cleaned herself up as much as she could considering how dirty bathroom floors are and the emotions she must be experiencing. Excited friends drew everyone’s attention to her, expecting Jason to pop the question.

"Unfortunately, I am not proud of my girlfriend Sarah", he added as he put the tiffany blue box back into his pocket. He could see Sarah’s family change their expression. Her sister Anne had a smile on her face, thinking I was pulling a prank before asking her sister the big question. Sarah’s mother looked bewildered, and her father glared at him with an unimpressed, stern expression.

Continuing, Jason said "moments ago I found Sarah on her knees in a bathroom stall blowing a stranger, professing her love for his cock.” The crowd erupted in a collection of sounds resembling a flock of birds, shocked at the dramatic situation.

“I am forgiving, but not that forgiving. I’m sorry, but that betrayal I cannot live with. No, I will not be asking Sarah to marry me, but I will be telling her to move out of my apartment. Thank you all for coming but I’m sure you can understand I have lost my will to celebrate. Good night.”

Sarah’s father’s glare had not changed.

It's sad that one word, three letter long can do so much damage but,,,, the real problem is that the guily never have a reason

W H Y

Awful. Two stars.

JPB

@ Nixrox "It is my belief that most women born in this century think nothing about putting some strange guys cock in their mouth. They erroneously think it is far better than risking a pregnancy." It is funny how time brings about changes. I'm old enough to remember that before the mid 1960's girls took guys' cocks in their butt to avoid pregnancy. It was a common method of contraception. If you know anyone old enough to have lived those times be sure to ask them what the douche/enema bag hanging from just about every homes shower curtain rod was used for on Friday evenings.

It seemed familiar to me but I can't find where I left a comment. Great little story!

5

Liked it, BUT it left me wanting. Like an itch I can't scratch. I guess I needed an epilogue or some other type of closure. What is here is well written and interesting. It just seems incomplete .

I hope this is a constructive criticism or suggestion because I really like what is here. However, it needs something else at the end--not a summary or final action--but something to give it a satisfactory ending. A lot of stories refer back to something at the beginning to "frame" the story, so mentionjng the title somehow in the last sentence could be effective. That's just one technique. I gave it five stars anyway.

Well at least she didn't mess around. She managed to crash and burn in public in a spectacular fashion.

Good beginning but not much excitement to the climax of it. 4

Shamed in front of every one her family and friends and his. She will never get over this. For the rest of her life family and friends will always view her a certain way, the will will ALWAYS think less of her.

Seriously Good.

Why dont you you write a 20 year follow up?

Not sure I get it frankly. Her cheating didn't necessarily mean she was incorrigible, but more likely just too immature to be reliable marriage material like he clearly was. One would hope her sister, family, and friends would help prod her to grow up and motivate her to more responsible future choices. People can and do 'grow up'. Either an epilogue or companion story would explore this further.

5 stars - This stupid SLUT got exactly what she deserved - although, it is hard to believe any woman in this century could be that stupid. It is my belief that most women born in this century think nothing about putting some strange guys cock in their mouth. They erroneously think it is far better than risking a pregnancy. However, their first question should be - where has that cock been before this moment? What kind of diseases get spread around by indiscriminate women sucking strange cocks? ANSWER - every possible STD in the world. Maybe pregnancy might be a better choice than possible death from a particularly bad STD - OR better yet cover those cocks with condoms, before you do anything with them - sucking or fucking.

really a blah, flat ending. Editor would also help.

I found his reaction to be very good. why would a guy want a slut like her. Also why would he think that this was the first time? seriously at his graduation party she couldn't control her inner slut. He should drop to his knees and thank his god that he found out before he was committed to the skank. As for the writer, I didn't notice how many stories they have written, but I agree he needs a better grasp of proofing his own work or get a couple of beta readers. Good short story and will read more of this writer.

You need a proof reader.

Not my favorite subject matter, but it was well written, creative, and the story flowed well. I am no writer ether, but I know talent and yours is above my level. I comment often but I try to be positive always. Writing here in an open forum when anyone can comment on the stories takes bravery. You did well.

Please try sticking to either first person or third person viewpoint, mixing them confuses your audience!

Re: Dark2donut2

Speaking of Just Worthless. Just double checked you bio and it hasn't change one shitty little bit, "This user does not have any submissions yet." Go figure, the ones who can, do the others who just bitch are Donutholes.

This is one absolutely banal story, sucking on all LW cliches, contributing nothing original and going into moralizing that is completely unnecessary.

What is the point of laboring on stories like this?

Just worthless. 1 star.

Story felt a bit rushed, could’ve had better dialogue & be more indepth. Glad the guy stood up for himself. Even if this was the first real sex, how she admitted that she made out with other guys shows emotional cheating. And her words in the bathroom belies her story that it’s her 1st time & she was drunk. 3 stars

Story's not done yet to my thinking. LP

I actually think the author intended to have it come across that this was the first time she had sexual contact with someone and was drunk enough to do something so stupid at her boyfriend's graduation party. The a$$hole pushed himself hard, he has a better lower package, and she got lost in it. Now of course she flirted and made out before so she has a real problem maintaining a relationship. I suspect the author intended that she did not cheat (beyond making out) but couldn't prove that she had not gone this far before. That kills any chance at marriage. The MC acted responsibly. And got out just in time. So I don't buy the critics below who say she was a slut (ok maybe one in the making) and would never do this at the party. She didn't premeditate this. She has a problem and that night it got out of control. Would have been worse later. Props to the MC not reconciling.

The only escape was for the reader from this nonsense.

Escape! D

That’s it?

Ok. I hate to always do this but.... If it wasn’t in the persons best interest, they wouldn’t do it. So let’s look at this, from different perspectives-

1. Her fiancée- This guy wanted to make her his “ forever wife” . But here is the deal. If she was such a complete slut, surely he would have figured it out by now. This isn’t the 50’s. There are serious repercussions to marrying a cheating whore nowadays. He would have been more on top of this situation, in my opinion.

#2- Wifey to be- This is easy. Regardless if she is the biggest slut on the planet, no way does she risk doing anything at his party. After all, I am sure she had an idea of the proposal, and even if that wasn't the case, she would want her Narcissist self to bask in all the positive feelings coming her way. After all- A hoe can get laid 7 days a week, But how often to you get to show off, a soon to be successful fiancée?

So if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, it’s a duck. I do not believe it would have went down like this. It was not in their best interests.

You shift from first person to third person towards the end. Other than that a fantastic little short story - to the point, no messing, clean.

Grand stuff.

That one question shows that they knew each other enough that the guy knew her boyfriend. Proving she was lying yet again when she said she only met him that night.

Considering the events related, there really isn't any way Jason and Sarah's relationship could have realistically turned out differently than the ending that sirsemega gave it.

.

These were two immature, and irresponsible, young people that apparently never discussed spousal expectations that each may have had of the other in their relationship. Their prior year-long history of dating and cohabitation was simply as convenient sex partners. Jason's decision to propose was a mental "flip of a switch", coming only after his graduation and firm partnership. He had NOT prepared for marriage to Sarah, and a lot of "assumptions" were made about her readiness and commitment to him (including exclusivity). They turned out to be inaccurate, a fact that he was very LUCKY to find out before making his public proposal.

.

We divorced people should all have been so lucky!!

BTW, a PUBLIC marriage proposal, especially a surprise one, is like a pass play in American football; for each one attempted on offense there are several possible outcomes, only one of which is favorable for the offense.

3 stars - no comment

Weak ending, seemed rushed as though no thought given

This story told itself. No long drawn out dialogue. What guy with any self respect would take her back? Any "cheater" without the self control to NOT give a blow job at a party for her boyfriend...well what else should he write? Why would anyone need more story? BTRH...

Unresolved, did she know the guy before, writer brought up familiarity, and failed to follow through on that point, so readers are left with even more questions. So,what if he moved on, we still do not know all the facts. Bad writing and weak outline to leave open questions.

Did the writer suddenly have brain fog, could have told story in 2 or 3 sentences..

My party, I was going to propose to my girlfriend, caught her cheating, got rid of her.

He did right, ditch the bitch and move on, not like they were engaged yet, He got lucky to find out before a real entanglement.

👍👍

Needed to be longer, just needs more, more revelations and arguments, more moving on... Want to see where he goes from there.

ending was too rushed and unsatisfying

Great story - dumb bitch

Not happening. She is in bathroom and how many others are there?!! She could have yelled anytime and stopped. Why did she even go off with him. Important event she should be at his side.

Great story again. Not many like this being posted these days in LW. It’s Cucktown now.

I think it’s cool. I would forgive her, take her back, but under one condition. She brings him into our bedroom occasionally.

Why post this on an "erotica" site?

There is no "erotica" in this story. Just anger, nastiness, and hate.

Pointless story.

this is what would happen but not much point in story and virtually no sex

Nice story, but his being able to “forgive” her is, for me, unbelievable. Sorry, do not believe it!

I think he should have called in all the biggest cocks and tore her a new asshole and left her laying, then broadcast the video to all that want to see it

She organized the party which would have been friends and her big cocked bathroom pal wouldnt have attended if she or her fiance didnt know him, so he had to have attended with a woman who was a friend of one of theirs, as he didnt know the douche he had to have arrived with a girlfriend of hers. He didnt work with her, because according to her it was just some guy who wouldnt stop. Theres so much missed horse shit in this story.

"Please...Jason...please...forgive me. It will never happen again..." Signed: BTW

How inept do you have to be to forget that you’re writing in first person and start writing in third person? Really?

"won’t tolerate cheating." ..... Why are there symbols where an apostrophe should be? This is not the only story or author this has happened to. I agree that the story was good to the point where he tossed her and got on with his life. The story was too rushed and too short, though.

1/2 a story gets 1/2 a score.

Again. We need more stories about men like this who won’t tolerate cheating. Instead of cuck pussies who cry and run away, this man beat the crap out of the bastard and threw cheating fiancé away. Great story.

At least two commenters think that

Loving Wives is the wrong category for this story.

For why it is the proper category,

see my comment (10/16/18) on Michelle and Matt by Ohio.

Paul in Oklahoma

???

You raised questions but not enough answers

No more is needed. It is just a moment in time describing a very immature woman and the man who must now rebuild his life.

...but seemed more like chapter one than a story complete itself.

Kick ass on him, and throw the cheating bitch away. Good story.

At least he found out before the wedding.

Sorry, there were just too many errors of all kinds to make this better than 2*

I liked the story, but the ending seems rushed. Both in the narrative and for the fact that you switched between 1st and 3rd person. This could be a 5 star story, but the ending and the main character's transformation needs to be fleshed out, and it needs a couple more rewrites.

Thank you for the story!

A boring story with no point to it. Nothing clever, unique or exciting here. Hum drum, ho hum and zzzzzzz

about forgiveness, closure, etc.? I swear that there are fads in LW stories that show up from time to time. One is the "Dr. Phil" bather about feelings. Who knows what forgiveness in this context really means? Still, no a bad little flash

She apparently knew the guy based on her comments on his dick, but our hero never called her on it. The story would have been better if he interrogated her more

Chilley

Sensitve cucks will always be cheated on.

Good quick little read. Everything tied up and wrapped with a bow.

Not badly written...just not in english...in parts. Read over your writings before submitting. Gave it a 2 for laziness!

An Ending Well Here it Is! With the magic words I Transformed to Story? I kicked Jason off the boat, made him take Sarah back! He had a shit of a job keeping her faithful! As for Me I lived happily ever after sailing around the world on My now new boat! See there is a happy ending. Bye See Ya Aloha

★ ★ ☆ WOOF!

Call me stupid naive or anything else. In days before mobiles I used to catch buses just to meet my g/f out of work and go home together. One night she did not emerge but her colleague said she had gotten a lift. So I trooped off home having missed her. Seen her next day she said her friend had given her and others a lift. (Lie number 1) there was no others. Over time she got lifts more than I got buses so we agreed I would meet her at the bus stop close to her home and we would walk from there, why did I not just say I would go straight to her home, or were she stayed with her sister in law. Anyway I did start to meet her at the stop but more often than not she would be there before me or come walking up from round the corner - never understood why her friend did not drop her at bus stop were I was. Then a couple of times I waited for ages to which she said they had dropped others off first. One time I thought since I got off early I would surprise her at her work and arrive well before she finished and on the way bumped into one of her work colleagues who asked what I was doing - when I told her she said "oh you two back together". Hmm this felt uncomfortable. Anyway she hurried off in front of me and obviously warned my girl friend who came out of work to ask why I had bothered to come all this way and to wait while she got her things , she was a bit pissed that I arrived.

I did the same thing a few weeks later and got there twenty minutes early and saw her come down stairs in the workplace hand in hand with a guy I knew to be married with a wife and two kids, they ran to HIS car, all along she had inferred it was lifts from a girl in the store she worked. I got a cab so that I got to the bus stop quickly but had to wait thirty minutes for them to arrive but again she walked round the corner.

I did ask her if she got a lift she said yes but that the girl who gave her lift had to rush off somewhere so dropped her nearby. I said nothing yet.

I did go and talk to her sister in law who revealed that she had warned my g/f of what she was getting a herself into - she confirmed that it was a emotional and physical attraction and it was a case of the guys experience. My g/f had confided in her that he had a way of pressing all the right buttons and she was weak to his advances.

I lived in a strange town on my own away from any support mechanisms had no one to discuss this with except my g/f.

It was after doing a follow one night that I knew I had to confront her. I watched them in his car kissing, petting, she straddled him in the passenger seat (still maintains that nothing happened) and then after tidying up walked to the bus stop to greet me but I was not there and made her wait. When I arrived she could see there was an issue and when she went to kiss me hello I turned away and simply asked her if she would like to kiss me after I had been licking one of my co workers pussy. She got pretty damned defensive and denied everything even called her sister in law a liar.

This girl was the best I ever had in fact at that time all I had. GOD LOVE CAN MAKE US DO SOME REAL MAD THINGS.

She fessed up on kissing and a bit of petting she even got the guy to speak to me while I stood in an old fashioned telephone box having him tell me she was a diamond and not to give her up - it was nothing - he was sorry.

JESUS READING THIS WAS I SO MUCH OF A PUSSY MYSELF.

YOU KNOW I STAYED WITH IT - forty four years later we have grand kids. I was financially incredibly lucky and hard working we want for nothing, my girlfriend went back to studying and is top of her field making more than we ever need

ARE WE HAPPY? Have we ever been really happy? Did we have a great sex life?

NOPE NONE OF THOSE, WE HAVE FORCED OURSELVES TO SURVIVENOT FOR OURSELVES, HAVE WE STRAYED, I DO NOT KNOW ABOUT HER , ME I HAD ALL THE OPPORTUNITIES BUT WHEN YOUR WIFE SAYS NO TO SEX FOR MOST OF OUR MARRIED LIFE, WHEN SHE REMINDS YOU OF HOW POOR IN BED YOU ARE AND SAYS THINGS LIKE OH HERE TURNS HER BACK AND SAYS GET ON WITH IT YOU ARE REALLY AFRAID NO ONE OUT THERE WILL WANT YOU, SHE SAYS THINGS LIKE "call yourself a man?" And " your not a man" to the extent that I even and rightly some would say question that myself.

Yep I should have dumped her there and then at the bus stop because it never really goes away - there was no counselling then you would have been told like some of her friends said " it happens" make up your mind and get on with it I have to tell you that as I get to twilight years even death loses its sting such has been the life with this woman

Fromm yo point of view when someone cheats on you take very serious note that this is something that never goes away cut your loses take the short term grief and learn loads quickly.

Story by itself isn't that original, although it is quite realistic.

But the switch from first two third perspective, toward the end, that's unforgivable - had to take out some stars, because of it, from my final score. You had less than 20 lines left to write, author; so no valide reason whatsoever for that brain fart.

Another story where young women show their immaturity... ah well - it's a subject matter that too many of us know all too well.

An epilogue or after story (sequel) would've been cool. Short story left me wanting more.

This was very well done and realistic. A buddy of mine caught his fiance' sucking a stripper cock at her Bachlorette party a week before the wedding. He broke it off with her that next morning infront of everyone. Even had video evidence from a female friend who had attended the party and disapproved. It took a week, but he forgave her and moved on with his life. They never reconciled. She doesn't do much dating these days while he has a damn good woman in his life. Sometimes the best revenge is moving on and having a good life.

You could of carried on with story with something like, "Jason's Life after Sarah".

I've never understood the long drawn out good-byes.

When I caught my fiancé at her ex-boyfriends house, I parked and waited in my work truck across the street. It wasn't long when she walked out with him, hand in hand. They stopped at the edge of the porch and their kiss was anything but chaste. No doubt what she had been doing there. I reached her car door at the same time as her and took the ring from a finger she just had wrapped around his cock. She fought me for a moment until she realized I was angry enough to break her finger to get it back. I stomped off with it in my pocket and never spoke to her again. I've seen her off and on over the past 25 years but never even met her eyes. She's a grandmother now, I'm a grandfather, too. But I thank my lucky stars each time I pass Tom's old house and realize how close I came to making the biggest mistake of my life.

Oh, I'm still married to the same woman I met a year after breaking it off with my ex. My ex? She is engaged to what will be her fourth husband.

From her words it does not seem like the first time having his big cock. Well you were tipsy and horny and that explains it all. Bullshit just a first rate slut.

It would have been great if Jason had applied just a little more force and at least dislocate unknown asshole's shoulder. popped it right out of joint. Cheating slut got about what she deserved. I liked this one.

not much of a story.

Second time through. Five stars.

You had some good stuff flowing but it was chopped up by your poor use of the language. Proofread your story next time.

is she a liar or just stupid?

"So much bigger! I can't give this cock up! It's so wonderful!" she said.

sort of implies she's had it before and will do again.

or is she really so dumb as to think "gee sucking a guy off at my fiances party will be great! what could possibly go wrong?"

is she a liar or really that dumb? it not made clear in the story so are we to assume both?

So, more on Jason and his life after Sarah.

Good story but he asked as she was blowing him is it bigger than his so much bigger I don't think I could give it up. Sounds like she's been doing this with him for a while

This is a good story and told well, except for the tense chane at the end which throws off the reader.Aa

A fun read, but too strait forward.

I read a couple of reviews and thought I was going to read a great story. I was wrong. Content wise, it was a mediocre story at best. Writing skill wise, it was terrible. So many mistakes for such a short story! Words missing, words misused, and then there was the constant going back and forth between first and third person. I gave the story 3 stars and that's giving it the benefit of the doubt.

......it was a totally heartbreaking crushing story. So much hurt. So much pain. There is a certain beauty in a gut wrenching story as this. 5 statrs

She set up party

Most people there were her friends

She had invited guy then

Couldn't give up his tallywhacker

But she just didn't know what happened????

She is hilarious

Some details of a serial cheating wife are posted on Facebook profile of dearbornmt@yahoo.com. She lost her college instructor position in Helena Montana because she coerced married male student into sexual relationship. College administration received Facebook details and much more including sex photo. If you are into now 60ish tattooed breastimplanted grandmothers, her contact info can be had from profile