All Comments on 'Ian's Trap Ch. 01'

I really like your story keep it coming hopefelly quick. Try to make each chapter a little longer though to add more depth.

Ive been waiting so long for an update ! Love it

I see a battle royal coming for Ian and Liv, make it good please, love the story

That was so sexy to me! I hope that olivia tries to find a way to go against Ian's rules and that he finds out and punishes her ;) i hope you update soon and im glad that youre back!

so she goes from orphan to slave and she didnt have the spine to do anything about it? if she cant stand up for herself now she wont make it in the business world she has to take over.

Just a suggestion, but when you wait that long between publications of your story you should probably go back and read what you wrote in the beginning. In chapter one you said Ian's eyes were green and Lil's eyes were blue. Now you write Ian has blue eyes.

How come in arranged marriage stories it seems the female is always weak and submissive but the guy does as he pleases? The female always gets hurt but the asshole male sleeps around like its cool and the female is threatened to abstain from sex or she will be ruined somehow.

I say Liv do what she wants. Without her he wouldn't be getting those millions in funds. He needs her more then she needs him. Is it written in their marriage contract that she can't have sex with some other guy before they get married?

Nice to have you back!!!

Hoping for more chapters soon....

Love wher the story is heading and can't wait for

nexst chapter...

Write what u want... too much advice can f_up your thought process. I like it just the way it is, and if they don't like it f_em lol ....... can't wait for the next one...

smooches ;*

I caught that in my self -editing ...but forgot to change. Sorry.

Ian has neither shown her love nor respect, and in fact acts like a class A dick, announcing his intent to cheat on her while she remains exclusive to him, and in fact, after indicating that he will never lie to her, immediately goes back on his word to allow her to date by deliberately sabotaging her dates.

Is he a red herring, or is this dumbass going to get a clue? At this point, I'm not even sure I want to keep on reading this story... the love element isn't there and it seems like a poorly written BDSM.

for this story! Though I hope you don't make Liv submissive completely and I hope she questions the "love" of these over-protective guardians who have no issue taking away her freedoms as a woman. It really doesn't sit well with me despite their reasons but I can't wait to see where this all goes!!

I love this story. you are a excellent writer. i think olivia and ian are perfect

for each other. olivia will stand up for herself when it come to

ian aggressive ways. i cant wait for the next installment. keep

up the good work.

Iove this story but i really do hope that olivia stands up for herself. Im really not into the whole "girls have to stay pure and innocent" while Ian gets to do whatever he wants. I hope that Liv finds a way to break past her "loving families" claws and become independent. Like she should probably end starting a sucessful business completely on her own and escape. And then maybe in the furure she could be with Ian when he sees her as an equal and not some property...

I like this story , Can't wait to read more.

because another male character gets to fuck anyone while the girl has to stay virginal.

Ok....... so I read your first instalment before and I really liked the premise but I think you tried to rush this one...Writing a great story means you don't always go straight for the kill.. You need to build up. Your transition from the first chapter to this one was FAR too hurried. you jumped hurdles.. You also had some grammatical errors. Take time in writing your next draft. Also see if you can get an editor to help you and work more on story development and plot formation.. Your story has lots of potential so just take the time to chart the course well and do not rush too much.... Looking forward to seeing what you do next hope you will take my comments into consideration

I love this story and can't wait to see the next part.

Something told me that Ian would start to initialize his possessive streak over Liv. I think it's kind of cute. He really does care about her but still wants to be a prick about it with his double standards. I can't wait to read the next chapter. Syn'

P.S. I'm still going to come back every now and then to see when you've submitted. LOL

I'm so excited. I haven't even read it yet, but I've been waiting for your new chapter. I have no words, I'm so excited. (Review to follow) :-) -DC

I still love the premise of your story. I will say that I would recommend you try to find a good editor. This will help with the pacing of the story, grammatical errors, and detail errors. Other than that, I really am looking forward to seeing where your story goes. Ian will hopefully get his comeuppance and Liv will establish herself as a force. Can't wait for your next chapter. -DC

I have enjoyed to first two chapter of this story. Please update is soon.

So dissapointed in the power u give Ian and the way u make Liv out to be a sub... In real life a girl from southside Chicago would not go for that, regardless of her adopted parents... I had so much hope for Liv's spunk now she's just a sub and has to abide by 'Massa'.... this is unrealistic and dissapointing

Love the story the way it is! Update soon!

I'm hooked and need more I hope You will be continuing and completing this story. I am loving it

I can't wait for more!!!!

Please continue on with this story! I really enjoy reading it and cannot wait for the next installment.

please update soonnn loving this story

Just curious as to why olivia is suffering from ian's anger when it was his father who made the rules before they could inherit the money? Doesn't seem right she should suffer. That seems a bit twisted. I don't know, I just see it that way.

more please more

plz more

I cannot wait for the next chapter...

Ian's Trap is good. I eagerly await the next installment. Keep up the good work.

I hope you continue to write because I love this story

I hope u finish

Please more!!!

PLEASE UPDATE SOOOOONNNNN!!!!

Update soon!!!!

PLEASE UPDATE!!!!!!

Please update soon

Please!

...see its still alive and kicking.

so not like 2013, more like 1913...sorry story is pretty good, just that i can't see a modern teen be willing to put up with enforced slavery. you need to give her a backbone and him his comupance.

Don't listen to the foolish people who commented about slavery. Thank you for updating this story! I love the amount of wit (think I spelled that right) with the main character. I feel that your setting this story well, I see a pride and the prejudice connection here. Huge Jane Austen fan. :) Olivia was pressured into the relationship, but she chose to agree to the future relationship with Ian. She could have taken the education from that family, flipped them the bird about the trust fund and walked away. Instead she acted reasonably with compassion towards Ian and Lillian and committed herself (probably out of respect of her parents memory ) to do what was right . However, Ian is a bit crazy about his rules. I really want to know what happens next.

Keep writing! I'm a horrible writer and I really, really appreciate your stories. I upload my 3D designs online for anyone to download for free and I love when I get feedback. (Positive or Neg.) Its that feedback that makes me continue. Keep your head up! -J

After the way he completly disrespected her and treated her like a whore "now go wash your face and put a sarong around that" "your ass is not fat right now its just right" then smacks her on the butt, come on now i would have waited until i got to the pool and threw the sarong in the pool and while upstairs told him i would need to have sex with other men because it would be the only satisfying sex i would get. And then to go out on dates with him....i dont know, not so believable, i think most people would avoided him like the plague, even if he had good manners.

The premise of that story is so bogus! And the way the author is writing doesn't really help to make it better. So now Ian is also a bastard taking advantage of the situation?? And why is that girl such a doormat and agrees with everything her so-called "guardian" force her to do? What about saying fuck you to the rich white people who decided to control her life and emotionally blackmail her at the ripe age of 16? Seriously?? It is to the point where I can almost understand Ian's behaviour: cause he was a kid when that situation happened, after having accidentally killed 2 person, I can understand how he must have felt : THAT would have been interesting to flesh the character in that way, to add to his complexity, rather than waste time explaining how those bastards white guardian supposedly loved the poor overweight and ugly black kid and turned her into a skinny beauty (how caricatural and insulting, really!!!). And rather that portray Liv like such a doormat what about giving her a little bit of a backbone and some emotional depth? She just sound so sutpid being pissed against Ian but keeping agreeing to do what her white "masters"/guardian force her to do!!!

I think the story is pretty good. It's almost Cinderella-like. If you don't like it, then move on to another story to read. LadyReedsAlot I am enjoying this story and you should continue to write more. Whomever anonymous is didn't even have the guts to put his/her name up. You should also learn to write and talk. I could barely understand what you were saying. I think the story has some interesting points to it. Liv isn't being a doormat; she's adjusting to a new life and trying to survive. So what if she's been transformed into someone new. And she's not being told what to do exactly but is being given a chance to live out her dreams in a different reality that many people would love to have an opportunity to do. I don't see her as a "slave" but as a newfound human being with choices in front of her towards the future.

Syn'

Frankly, I do not see what the problem is. Ian is acting like a typical male. This series is good, keep writing and ignore the naysayers. Any man, it does not matter what color he is if he believe that a woman is his, he feels that he has a right to tell her what's what. No mad at how this story is playing out.

Like I say, I like your story...continue on writing :D

I think its a good story. However, I hate Ian. His character is too unlikable. He tells her she's supposed to stay a virgin , but he can stay a man-whore because he's used to getting some pussy. Seriously?