All Comments on 'Ice Heart Ch. 03'

A very well written and entertaining story so far. I'm not sure if it really belongs on this site, as opposed to just a normal fiction web-site. I think it kind of gets lost on a erotic fiction web-site.

LOL-when the sec'y talked about spitting into the coffee and the interplay about who was to follow who in jogging (Black behind white or white behind black)

Your converstaions between character are some of the best I have read. The conversations mimic real life interplay between people.

I can see Cris having some softening towards his daughter-as the daughter was just a spoiled dumb kid at the time of the break-up, and like most teenagers felt the world revolved around her. Once the daughter got a taste of the "real world" Dad suddenly seems like a OK guy.

I like that the author has Karma give the wife cancer. The wife started this mess and payback is a bitch. I hope the Jimbob44 does not have Cris get back with her-as Cris would need to be as forgiving a Ghandi to turn the other cheek after what she put him through. The wife is not really sorry she screwed over Cris, she is just sorry SHE got screwed over by the con man Tom. Jimbob44 makes this clear when the wife admits she would not be missing Cris if the con man Tom had not absounded with her money.

Nicely done-look forward to more.

Quiet saying the end at the freaking story if you are going to be coming out with a new chapter!! Nice follow up, i hope the next chapter continues with the way you are going!

I can't look away! Engrossing story, plot, characters, pace, everything, good work.

I feel like killing my dog after reading the latest installment of this story.

The author does a fabulous job of showing how Chris ' hurt pain and rage is slowly ruining him.

The problem with Chris is his rage. It is clear that he has NOT at all Moved on. He has NOT at all put his past behind him. He is still living every day as if it was THAT day all those years ago. Evry morning when he wakes up and when he goes to sleep ... he thinks of them and HIS pain.

If he truly wishes to move on to start anew he has to let it go. AS long as he holds onh to his rage and pain they.. the folks he hates... OWN him... and they own his heart.

Whether he ever reconnects with them or not he has to do so becuase he his free of his past.

You can Never the battle if you fight it on someone's else terms. And as long he has has his pain he cannot win this fight.

I could care less how you end your installments with "the end" as long as you keep starting new installments. Love the story telling, the character development.

This is the type of story that I truly enjoy when I see them.

doesn't this poor bastard know any happy people. The poor old woman who lived next door shot to death, his ex-wife dying of cancer, the parents of Alicia that are uninformed as what she has been up to for two years, and are passing judgment on her. It's just a very dark, gloom and doom story.

Well written and the story seemed to flow smoothly and without any jerky or rough spots.

The story just bummed me out so I guess the author did what he set out to do.

Thanks for the story.

All over the board but interesting - keep it up and fuck the idiots like shoe 14 & mancelt the fag, the ball-less idiots for their non-existential drivel.

Instead I just got finished reading seven pages of interesting moments, with horrifying ones mixed in. Glad to see that Tony got his. Though I thought that Cris should have been the one to do the job. A truly dark story, full of unlikeable characters. You know I even dislike Sandra! She is a real bitch!

Difficult to follow but a real attention holder......

Also, if this is "THE END" then the END SUCKS. Too many unresolved issues.

what's w/ all this 'The End' crap. aanyway, i'll probably read this till the end.

WHEN EVER THE TRUE AND COMES, IT WILL BE TO SOON, I JUSY HOPE THAT , IF NOT ALL PERFECT, ALL THE PEOPLE HERE CAN BE FRIENDS AND UNDERSTAND THAT OLD HATES AND PAINS, JUST CAUSE MORE SCARS WHEN YOU LET THEM FESTER,

...with friends like these the circus is always in town. Truth be told I skimmed three of the pages, I just don't carry enough Lithium on me to counteract that much depression.

but the over-all story still emerged nicely, even coherently, too. in real life, most stories are erratic, unpredictable, stop-and-go, meandering like this. reali life stories don't have clean openning, middle, and end, all wrapped up in some seamless manner... <p>

the consistency in the story is that all the characters stay true to their ERRATIC, unpredictable traits, throughout the story. and them repeating their erratic, predictable behavior was still erratic and unpredictable. <p>

the introduction of the erratic young pregnant white woman going from one "sugar daddy" to another, and each beating the crap out of her --- including the total rejection by her own rich parents --- simply added to the over-all erractic, unpredictable nature of hte story, where: <p>

(1) anne marie is her honest, bitchy, unrepenting but REALIST self (in her admittance that her pretention to carrying a torch for Cris was BOTH in vain and NOT honorable; and yet she still did, hoping against hope that he'd come around and help at least their daughter, Nicole, even if not her and Sophie the deaf child she had with the man shre ruined hers and her parents lives with).... <p>

(2) Nicole is her childish self; she seems to know her actions really hurt her father, and likely would never love her again, even if he'd support her now and then... she never gives up going to him every time there is a big crisis. <p>

(3) Sandra, the same bossy secretary Cris loves to hate but can't do without, due to her sincerity, as a person, and her organizational as a professional. <p>

(4) Cris, same fucked-up, same TOTALLY fucked-up self, whose fucking around is as fleeting and non-committal as his attitude towards everyone and everything else... <p>

so, again, over-all, the haphazard style of the story went very well with all of its erratic characters..... so it worked very well in an odd way...

but it is still disgusting. It still seems unbelievable that she'd sink that low just because someone stopped loving her and moved away. But otherwise... chapter 1 and 2 are pretty good! I can see him thawing because he can see that his problems are not the biggest things in the world, and seeing Alicia does make him much more amenable to making ammends.

Let's hope this is the beginning of the salvation of the Alicia character - circles in circles hmmmm -

Curious about how Jimbo AND April fare in the final world setting -

The dialects used may excuse some of the poor grammar and structure but I suspect you still need to work on it a bit heh - a context editor would be helpful -

I wouldn't mind seeing this on TNT or some other cable network as an hour long show each week. Lots of well thought out characters and cross-interactions here. Do more please.

thanks for the offering.

But this is a critique i have to post while its fresh. Read a lot of your stories, some brilliant, some not to my taste at all. Still working through the catalog, one constant from your older stories through your newer ones is that you have a problem...shifting from char to char. It is almost always a jerky transition, that leaves one trying to figure out what just happened. As you say in your most recent post, an editor would greatly help, but even...just a line of stars, some break when you shift chars so that the reader isn't left in the dust. Enjoying this series thoroughly, regardless of the outcome.

Ridiculous that Alicia would say "poor man" about the guy who raped her, and had her gangbanged.

just made it obvious that she was a prop for the author to abuse rather than a real person.

It makes me really uncomfortable how often the author has a tendency to do that to women in his stories.

Hate is a strong emotion that needs to be nurtured. 5+ no one can carry that much hate.

I see your point, but I know a lot of girls like that. Get raped, get beaten, get whored out for drug money and they come back to love on the guy again anyway. They worry about them even after they break up. It happens all the time, and its awful and sad. It isn't comfortable for me to read either, but probably doubly so since it feels so true to life for me. Jimbob does a lot of sad stories. gritty, dark, heartbreaking. But I keep coming back because they feel more substantial than so much of the stuff on the site. I hope you have a good day and if you find anything with as much story and heft as jimbob's work that is a bit more upbeat let me know. I like to mix happy with sad.

Alicia just has the crappiest luck and it reminds again that I thought tony from the other story with Alicia in it was a dick.

RIP to Cam Pao..got past her fears and tried to help, really upset how you didn't even give her a send off, especially since she was close to cris in their own way.

I'm hoping the tatts in the last part will get removed or at least changed to make it more acceptable for her own mental health.

So much going on and the way you write (as a UK reader) it is sometime difficult to understand the accent or speech but I'm trying lol

One star because you literally forced our long suffering protagonist to literally settle for a whore of a coal burner

That was quite a chapter. Anne Marie is despicable, but I hate to see her have cancer. Cam Po is the heroine of the story in taking out the black asshole Amaan out. Don't know how you end this.

SECRETARY SANDRA IS AN INTEFERING FUCKING SKANK!! THIS STORY IS PATHETIC....JUST A WHORE CHRIS AND HIS BITCHES

Have these people ever heard of birth control? Most of them don't have a pot to piss in but keep adding to the population. Sandra needs to mind her own business and I would dock her pay for the gifts and money she keeps handing out. I would also remove the photo's, leaving empty frames on the wall.

3 Stars ... Because a whole lot of stuff is happening, but nothing is getting done ...

Dear alsialsi,

Who was Pol Pot defending? Stopping the spread of the evil plague known as Communism is never a bad thing.

Bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki saved hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions of Japanese lives. Had the US saturation bombed the island for months before invading and fighting house to house the loss of life would’ve been countless. The fire bombing of Dresden killed far more than either atomic bomb. Maybe read a history book every now and then.

And more to the point, has there ever been a bigger asshole on Literotica than Chris?

Odd story arc. Literally everyone except Sweet William, Fred, and (eventually) Nicole, and of course the kids is a despicable character. OK Sandra is technically not despicable but is manipulating and also knew darn well Criss was screwing Sherri, her friend and next door neighbor, while married to Ronnie the cuck. Don't even get me started on the other main characters and many of the secondary characters. It is like Lord of the Flies with a lot of their actions because apparently either no one is a good person or the criminal justice system apparently sucks so bad in the stories that no one follows. OK I amend an earlier statement. Alicia was a terrible victim and traumatized to no end by everyone except Cris. How can April and Jimbo do what they did and expect no retribution or criminal prosecution? An investigation of those events would assuredly get their ass thrown in jail without the key. So yeah Lord of the Flies in Degarde, Louisiana. Sigh.

Who is the good guy they all seem to be bastards. 4****

Read this before .... reading it again .... this is a melting pot of characters. Good (a few); bad (many) guess I'll never learn.

Cris's evolution into a complete asshole is ugly, but understandable to me. He was betrayed callously by his wife and daughter, the two people he loved more than life. Obviously he's in need of a lot of therapy to move past all that rage and hatred. That rage is poisoning his whole life.

The Alicia sob story was too over the top. I'm sorry but that was just ridiculous. The tattoos, getting thrown out of a moving truck at 80mph. Just absolute absurdity.