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When Jack drove home, he felt like a total wreck. It would have been better if he didn’t see her again or shut his fucking mouth at least he had a fuck. But she called him, almost made love to him because she missed him and he told her how she missed her like crazy. The night had become a bust. A burning hole in his life like he was shot into the heart.
Then he found himself drinking in a strip joint. “What am I doing here, looking for a whore? Shit what a crazy life this is.”
A little later on, he was drunk staggering on the gutter until he sat leaning on a lamppost. He was crying. Crying for the first time in his life over a woman he was sure he fell in love with.
“I want to go back to you Jill. I want to say I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
* * * *
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 19 years ago?And you?re gonna make love to a poor schmuck like me? Forget it, I?m outta here,? he said.
Truer words were never spoken by a real schmuck. It's not whom she's been with, health problems excepted, it's whom she loves enough to stay with.
He finds he can't handle her past romances and flings since he's built up a fantasy image of her with him and her reality doesn't match up to his dreams. I have the feeling that she'd become far more mature than he had during their seperation with her various expereinces, and left his self-limited and obsessive life far behind.
They both made mistakes in this, their second meeting. He foolishly didn't think of the possibility that she would have experiences on her own, even though their own first meeting should have been a clue. She, on the other hand, overlooked his loss of erection and questioning about her partners as she talked about her life during their time apart, didn't take seriously the signs of jealousy appearing in him.
His fantasy obsession doomed their relationship though.
My view anyway,
Kydreamer
