Ill Met By Moonlight

Then a metaphorical flood washes over me at that same instant. Shame burns into my very core when I think of, when I see, what I have done. In the past I have done many unspeakable things in wolf form and never once questioned myself about them afterwards. If I ever thought about it at all my rationalisation was literally, 'tis the nature of the beast'. But now I feel all too human emotions regarding my actions. Overwhelmed by these unfamiliar sensations I lower my head and find myself crying.

The sensation of a hand stroking my cheek brings my head up and opens my eyes in wonder. The girl stands in front of me, naked, ravaged. The emotions betrayed by her flushed face are impossible for me to read.

'Why do you weep?' she asks me, softly.

My only answer is more sobbing. How can she be so 'human' after the animal assault I have just subjected her to?

'Hush' she whispers, stroking my face until my despair abates. Still unable to speak I can only stare into her startlingly blue eyes.

'What is your name?' she asks me. I am doubly confused by her question. At first I can only wonder why she should care to know. Then I am stunned to realise I have to search my memory to recall it. Have I really been the lonely 'Skinwalker' for so long that I must rack my mind to recall this fact? Has it been so long since loving parents gave me that name, since family and friends called me by it?

I lower my head again. After the longest instant I mutter hoarsely, 'Fergus.'

I hand under my chin raises my face until I am gazing at her again. 'And my name is Susan.' To my utter astonishment I see a tremulous smile quiver on her lips.

'You have to know something.' She tells me. 'You are wrong. I never "pitied" you when I heard your story. I thought you must be so lonely and, as an orphan, in my immature thoughts, I imagined we had some sort of kinship. I used to dream that if we met, we could make each other less alone.'

I see the smile slip from her face and the despair rises in me again.

I reply 'And so we do meet. And I make your dream a nightmare.' I laugh harshly at the irony.

She looks at me closely, then at the moon. 'Could you help yourself, just now, when you......when you.....did that?'

I shake my head

'Then do not berate yourself, Fergus.' She stops. 'You might have noticed I didn't totally hate what you did to me.'

Stunned I see a dazzling, half embarrassed, half self-conscious smile flash across her face.

I find myself smiling back at her. Then amazement is piled on top of astonishment when she reaches out her hand and strokes my deflated cock.

'In fact, now that you are human and you "can help yourself", perhaps you would like to "help yourself" again?'

I feel my groin tingle and blood flood my prick. I cannot believe that this is happening. As if my body if controlled by another mind I slowly lean forward to kiss her. But even as I do I worry that she will scream, twist away and try to run. But she does none of these things and I find myself kissing her tear-stained, salt-tasting cheeks.

When our tongues entwine and couple in a sensuous dance, I hear myself moaning in her mouth and she responds in kind, her hands linking behind my head, pulling me closer to her. My cock is already fully erect and it presses against her thigh as I cup her breast and stroke her hardening nipple, making her back arch. She twists her hips, opening her legs, pressing against my hardness until I feel my cock-head pressing against the centre of her heat.

In this instant I have never felt more human. I pull away from our kiss so that I can gaze at her once more. In my eyes she sees the question I cannot bring myself to ask; knows that answer I want – that I need more than I need air, food or life.

I see her nod and then she leans forward to nuzzle my ear and whisper the sweetest redemption I shall ever receive.

'Yes.'

In a tender instant I shift my hips and my shaft parts her lips and slides into her welcoming wetness.

'Yes' I hear her say in my ear, 'Yes!' she repeats, more urgently. 'YES!' she cries in aching joy as we are fully joined.

Urged on by her words I draw back and surge into her again, her body meeting mine as I do. We move in harmony together. I am not taking, she is not giving

We kiss again – passionately yet gently - as we continue to move in concert, merging, melding, joining. Each increase in pace is anticipated and appreciated. We both know the destination we want to reach and are in a hurry to arrive, yet want to make the journey last forever.

But nothing this good can last, as much as we both might want it to. After a brief eternity I feel her readiness matching mine. Like a huge wave towering over the shore before crashing down we climax together. Now it is her turn to tear me with her nails and bite my neck as she shudders and moans and I cry out – released in every sense.

My orgasm, instead of draining me, revitalises me. My skin tingles and I realise that now, only now, do I feel truly alive. Not in wolf form as I previously though, but at this instant – when I am finally, fully human. Her tenderness, her humanity, her love, have ransomed a lost soul

I smile down at her, and she returns my smile. This moment I would wish to press in amber and keep for eternity.

But it is only that moment – and it passes. From down the valley I hear howling and know I was mistaken earlier when I thought I heard echoes. My hunters are close – and they are using my 'cousins' to track me. My mind races as I think of how to save....save what is good.

Susan is obviously thinking and making plans as well. She looks at me, scared but brave.

'Go!' she hisses. 'You can out run them, as a wolf. They don't want me – they want you. Come back for me when you can.' Then she pauses, suddenly looking and sounding hesitant. 'If you want to come back for me that is?'

I almost laugh. Stroking her cheek I whisper,

'There is nothing I would prefer more than to come back for you. But you saved me when I was lost and it is now my turn to do that for you.'

'Go, please. Just go!' she cries, but I shake my head. I know my hunters. Superstitious peasants who know that my head, displayed in the town square, will make them rich men. But if I leave Susan they will find her, the dogs will find her.

'I cannot run and leave you.' I explain, looking at the wounds I have left on her body, feeling some of my self-loathing returning.

'When they see you they will believe you are my victim. They will also believe, ignorant as they are, that I will have infected you with my disease. They will use their precious silver bullets on you, just to be safe.'

I see her eyes fill with tears as she recognises the truth in my words.

'Besides' I add, suddenly feeling tired. 'I am done with running like an animal.'

Closer now, the dogs howl and whine. They well and truly have my scent now and I can make out the shouts of their handlers, trying to restrain them. I can even see faint glints of light from the torches they carry.

I straighten my shoulders and remember that I should button my trousers. Susan realises what I intend to do and begins to cry, silently, clutching my arm. In counterpoint to her previous glad affirmatives she can only murmur, 'No, no, no.'

I take her face between my hands and kiss her lips once more.

'Go, across the bridge. Wait for me till morning at the church a mile beyond.' I tell her this, to give her hope. We all need hope.

'As a wolf I can stop them.' I tell her. I do not tell her that now that she has made wholly human, I intend never to return to my animal form.

I kiss her one last time and tear myself from her lips. Before she can try to prevent me I stride down the road, towards the lights, the cries and the howling – promising myself I will not look back.

'Fergus?!'

Without stopping I half turn, unable to keep my promise to myself.

'What shall I do if you don't come back?' she cries.

'Do what neither of us wanted to do before this night Susan; live.'

I turn away and increase my pace. As I do, I shout over my shoulder.

'Live Susan! Live for both of us.'