All Comments on 'I'm Not That Stupid'

The POV is pretty screwed up and keeps switching between first and third person, sometimes within the same sentence.

Story was not bad. I see all this legal crap each one talks about. He had a legal separation with him having full custody. Even if he shouldnt have taken the child overseas it would have taken months if not years to bring him back legally from asia. Otherwise the story wasn't bad except i agree it needs a good editor to fix it.

I read this story twice. I'm not a legal head and don't know alot about separation and divorce law but, I really don't care. The story was what it was a sad tale about a good man and a stupid wife who for whatever reason (trashy people and friends at work) took him fore granted. If you are nit picking the law terms you are not reading the story and its a free story.

Probably more that 2 or 3 dozen switches between 1st an 2nd person. In fact, I would bet you didn't write this one. If you did, put down the booze.

but the snakes still live in the grass. TK U MLJ LV NV

Throughout you segued from 1st person to 3rd person; sometimes in the same sentence. Be sure to proof read better next time.

this is one of the first stories by this author and POV was a problem for some time. Since then, he's gotten himself a good editor and the POV problems have been eliminated. Stories written today are excellent, making him one of the better authors in loving wives. From the scores he's receiving on his stories others have the same opinion.

Entertaining as hell! Lol!

I understand this was one of your first offerings. Fun read.

Don't mess with Tazz you fucking jerkoff asshole. Anyone can type a wrong letter and not catch it. You, anon, are the moron here. As stupid as the cheating whore in this tale. You're probably are as alone as she it.

HA

l too found it a bit hard to follow, with the p.o.v shifting, that was going on in the story, so l can understand if it was a first time submitting one, now there is one thing l would like to know, when C was telling K about what was happening, K gives her opinion that hubby would be crawling back to C within a week, l would like to know what K's opinion was after that week, when hubby didn't do as K say would happen, and what she she had to say, when C was served with the d papers on the Monday, an what she had to say when the weight came back on too.

If the author cared about editing his stories, he would fix the constant shift between first- and third-person POV.

Seems like he couldn't decide which form to write in so instead he randomly shifted back and forth, turning the story into a complete mess.

Sometimes the POV even shifts in the middle of a paragraph from one sentence to the next, one of the sloppiest bits of editing I've seen on this site, I wonder if it was edited at all!

show his lack of command of the language. He switches POV constantly. First person is beyond his ken. He eventually started having his work edited and it improved. He has no understanding of sentence structure, punctuation, spelling, or tenses.

Actually a pretty good story if you can get around the constant shifting between 1st and 3rd person narrative. As others have said, it's the "POV" thing that drives some readers nuts.

He should have tried counseling first, then skipped the separation and gone straight for the divorce. He should have given her an ultimatum then a second chance, making it clear that leaving their home and their marriage was a one-way journey. This marriage could have been saved. A sad story.

Why does this author always spoil his - otherwise decent - stories by repeated and irritating changes of the POV? Sometimes the POV is changed from 3rd to first person and back even in the middle of a sentence - that makes it nearly unreadable. Add to that the wrong use of words that sound alike but are spelled differently (e. g. "your" vs. "you're"). Get a competent editor!

Your wife calls them B.F.F. but in reality they are jealous bitches your wife gets talked into fucking some big cock because the B.F.F. does not want your wife and you happy! After you find out , no doubt you will divorce your stupid wife. Then the so called B.F.F. will move onto some other stupid wife. Scary YES! Story is Fantastic! Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.

Well regardless of POV and sentence structure this author writes entertaining tales.

I don't think so....

Dude, you're barely literate. You need an editor sooo badly. You're a decent storyteller, but this was just awful.

You need to get yourself a real editor. There is NO EXCUSE for this.

Without both parents signing a permission slip or waiver! The husband sounded like he was pushing his wife into cheating on him...He obviously wanted out of the marriage and steered her into making it so. You portrayed him as too slick and not having much love for his wife. He comes across as an asshole!! Like a young nubile college graduate would fall for him in that short of time if ever!

It's just so hard to read about legal stuff when the person writing obviously has no fucking clue what they're talking about.

Another whiny, butt-hurt man-child throwing a temper tantrum, acting out all his woman-hating fantasies. And, so poorly written, too.

Tell me Ruttweiler, (I hope you're a woman because if you're a male you're a pathetic replica of a male) What did the husband do wrong?

Unforgiving, controlling, a worse cheat than his wife (slept with the nude baby sitter beside him before Carol almost (but didn't) do worse, and he started up an emotional affair, took the kid out of the country (very questionable, if she'd had a good attorney). Remember, they agreed to TEMPORARY full custody or him. Runnin' a kid across international borders even with full custody is questionable. Pretty much prevented mother from physically being with the kid.

Beth will eventually realize what an asshole he is, but will play it smarter (having seen what happened to Carol). At some point he'll come back to see his mother or something, and the legal shit will really hit the fan. I hate it when the author turns the guy I'm rooting for into a criminal with no conscience. Well written, for sure, or it wouldn't have been so upsetting. I think it's a bit lacking in legal reality though. We can only hope his kid won't be too influenced by his father before they get him back to the Carol.

Despite his protests, it looks like he did bear some sort of a grudge for her once being overweight . . . and expressed it at the earliest opportunity.

Reread this story in light of some positive reviews, and now I'm positive, too. I'm positive the story sucks. Changing POV from 'they' to 'we' to 'him' to 'me' within the same paragraph and sometimes the same sentence. Did the author every actually read his own story?

And the husband cut off all communication with the wife immediately. So resolution to the marriage was impossible, even though the wife had come around and wanted to talk things out.

It's the kind of story that women haters love. But sane people find lame. This was lame.

The responsibilty for this mess is entirely Dan's. He didn't help his wife in her attempt to get thin again or praised her for doing so. He could have had it all but instead chose to act like a child and have a hissy fit. He then slept with Beth after letting her wear his wife's close and go with him to celebrate his success. If he had told his wife then everything would have worked out but he made things worse. He really wanted Beth not Carol.

Carol wanted to get out and be single. That's the point where the marriage was over. Separation is just another way to say "I don't like you and I want to go out and find someone new. But if I can't, you'll do for now and I'll come back".

First, I have to say that he DID encourage her to lose the weight, to the point of signing them both up for gym membership. She became obsessed with it. She ambushed him with the "I'm moving in with my slut friend tonight," and maybe he did go a bit strong, but it was to (hopefully) shock into pulling her head out of her ass--which she finally did--just too late. I'll grant that what happened was partially his fault, but SHE was running around acting single. SHE moved out to "find herself." SHE left her husband and son. She gets 85% of the blame here. Period.

most husbands like to think of themselves as hard asses. But the fact is always present that is not the case. some spouses screw around like they are single and hubby is home drinking doubles... a 5

She was stupid! Listening to her divorced single friends. While being stupid seems to be something stories like this have in common. Not an original idea even his fast overall too fast reactions. I’ve read other similar stories with better back grounds to the characters than this. Start an original story with better outcomes that make sense.

If the ratings could go lower I’d give less 1!

timriv, I wonder if you read the same story that everyone else read. They both signed up for the gym and she lost a lot of weight. She had a lot more to loose than he did. And the story never talked about him but if he was going 3 days a week I'm sure he got in shape also. It's just that, afterwards, she decided to slut around. And it makes you wonder why she needed to move out to "find herself". She had her own career also. It's pretty clear she wanted to find her "inner slut". He was smart to separate everything as soon as she was gone although I'm not sure any court would just rubber stamp that he gets custody of their son if she decided to fight it.

Even for a fictional story this was just wrong. He'd be lucky to stay out of jail when he took Andy out of the Country. First off, he'd half to have a written letter of agreement to take Andy anywhere without Carol's okay. Out of the Country makes him a kidnapper and even a dumb Judge jails him, gives full custody to Carol. In the divorce hearing, he'd get raped. She'd get the house, alimony, child support and half their assets. He'd be lucky to get Court ordered supervision with his kid once a month. Your ending was laughable bad and totally unbelievable.

Muddled for example he had papers drawn up to be served after sixty days if she did not come back in that time.Nine months later they are still apart and she hasn't been served.She would have decided to go back in that time because she missed her son though there is never any mention of contact between them and nine months would have been long enough for her to decide.

get yourself a brain, then you may comment. You look more stupid with every comment you write.

In The Theme Of.... A Fool And Their Money Are Soon Parted.... Apply That Here !...A Fool and Her Husband Are Soon Parted!!!...Very Good Story Thanks ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

Would have liked to know what happened to Carol,after all she was still entitled to see her son.

Great story, really enjoyed it. Timmiriv can't help his stupid comments, he wears his wife's close. As Bugs says, "What a maroon!" .

It had so many mistakes it was hard to read. You constantly jumped from 1rst person to 3rd person, back and forth, back and forth. Then your timelines was screwed up using terms, "tonight" when talking about something that happen well in the past.

This was a terrible story. He was that stupid for not talking to his wife. I guess the BTB guys liked but this was not worth reading in my opinion.

this story is. The first person and third person random and really mixed up, the tenses haywire and the spellings terrible."Your", is a personal pronoun. You don't use it when what you are trying to say is, "You are"-- which in short is, "you're". Who has written this story? Not Slirpuff!

I hate to beat a dead horse, but as has been said before, the writing in this story was horrible. I enjoyed the actual story but fighting my way through the terrible grammar and spelling mistakes made me wonder if it was worth the effort. I’ve read other stories by this author and I don’t remember ever reading one that was this poorly written. I hope I never encounter another one as bad as this.

anon whiners.

I agree with Swanze1!

The story was great, and the writing was too. I didn't notice any errors, so I must be as dumb as you. I made my first poem.

Holy Cow, the story went from first person to third person back and forth, back and forth, sometime in the same damn sentence. I'm really surprised that someone who has written as many stories as you have, is not more aware of what you are writing.

Pick a POV and stick with it, Please!

punctuation, syntax and spelling are rife in this resultantly confusing story. It could have been more interesting were it not for the confusion. Two stars is generous....

An ounce of prevention. Yeah. Good stuff.

As for the majority of the Anon's; you need to cease and depart. Bunch of fekking whiners!

Dan takes their son out of the country how? Without Carol's written permission, full custody of a minor child or not, he can't take him. But forget that. No way the kid has a passport and it takes months to get them. So he's going nowhere. By that time Carol hires an attorney who gets the whole matter into Court and she, not Dan gets custody. No Judge in the land gives Dan full custody in the actual divorce. When Carol's attorney points out that Beth and Dan are shacking up, Dan is toast. Horrible ending.

1 star

To the anon below me, calm down, stop masturbating and take a nap.

but the random shifts mid sentence from 1st to 3rd person really stood out

Sorry folks he had FULL and sole custody, under law he can take that child legally anywhere. How do I know it happened to me, but my ex wasnt stupid enoigh to not tell me and when they would be back in the states. She knew what may have results she wouldn't like.

They demonstrated that dumbness when they voted for The Donald! He had FULL custody of their son. He doesn’t need Carol’s permission to take their son out of the country! Donna was a slut! He found out and divorced her ass! He waited until Donna was served with divorce papers before he bedded Beth.

The author knows how to tell a good story so now he only needs to find a good editor! Well that or take a class in proper usage of the English language. Way too many errors in wording and then either write in story form or in first person because it sure didn’t work swapping back and forth!!

Don't know when or where your comments are based from or where but in my case you are wrong on every point you tried to make. Everyone of those things you called "bullshit" I was allowed by the court to do. This 27 year old father was also awarded full custody of two daughters, aged 4 and 7. So unless you know what you are talking about, in the future, don't. As for Andy's passport I don't recall it being covered at all when he got it. Signed: BTW

The MC could get those terms because the wife signed off on them. No brainer legally. A family law lawyer

Carol picked the wrong friend and called the play. Her husband called her bluff and she lost it all. The best kind of story.

Glad he came out on top.

Grammatical errors run rampant through your stories.

Yes grammar errors but who gives a shit.

With friends like hers hope she doesn't have any enemies.

She cheated as soon as failed spousal test.

If wouldn't do it in front of spouse it is wrong and I consider cheating.

Even infidelity.

No compromising.

A good story with a very happy ending. Looks like Dan was able to lose 175 ugly pounds.

In short: Another roadkill carcass of switching points of view; sometimes in the same sentence.

GET AN EDITOR.

There was a lot of switching from first person to third person perspectives, sometimes in the same sentence. “When they first got married, we screwed like bunnies.” Made for a rather jarring read. Good pretext for the story, but the execution needed some work.

Beth better be careful.

Need a little more ending. How about some payback on Karin

Erotic? Not even close. This doesn't belong here.

A tedious, boring, who-gives-a-shit diatribe. No character to like or care about. Good riddance to all. EoS

Great BTB story. I can overlook unintended grammar mistakes..

Sudden changes in point of view and please learn that 'your' is NOT the same as 'you're', it's not too difficult!

........made up his mind, poor story, nothing original, author needs to have a real rethink

This is an old story, posted about twelve years ago as this comment is written. I liked the plot but the poor grammar, poor spelling and frequent changes in person from first to third and back again were disconcerting. I suggest editing and re-posting it.

On a day when LW hits a new low for the type of stories posted, I go back to read some golden oldies. Slirpuff is always good.

Good story. If there is a moral here it is "Communicate and don't listen to the shit your friends tell you."

Two, too and to 1st person and 3rd person

Too many POV changes, sometimes in the same paragraph, even in the same sentence. There's no way he can dictate the terms of the separation agreement.

Thank you for your story.

Good story. Would have liked to see a little payback in Karen though.

Good story. But buddy, seriously, you either need a good editor or a crash course in english grammer. Quit using both first person and third person in the same narration. For that matter you entire story should either be in first person or third person

gave it a five, DESPITE all horrible grammar mistakes. You jump from first to second to third person, often in the same sentence. A writer REALLY should understand English grammar.

The change in pov needs to be fixed! It jumped from pov to pov without letting the readers know who's talking

Good story. Have to say that after seeing the legal system in a couple states I doubt anyone would give the wife the bad deal she got

Great story, even with the bad grammar ! AAAAA+++++

Too many switches of point of view and so many spelling/grammar errors!

Ha ha ha. The arrogant whore lost weight and thought she was too good for a normal man. Lol. Now she is back to being a single fat whore. This makes me smile. Sorry ladies, your pussies are not made of gold, every woman has one.

Just love a man of action, Carol got her comeuppance. Dan, Beth and Andy lived happily ever after. 5 stars

Wait Wait!!!! No farm animals????? Come on!!! lol jk

The story was a grammatical mess. You need a serious editor or proofreader, because it appears you can't do it yourself.

Awful grammar, spelling and constant changes of point of view, otherwise average!

Ah, I found myself, all 175 pounds of me

Yes, okay, so I can already hear the small group of authors who, while only two or three percent in number, still manage to make 99% of the noise, and 110% of the vitriol, when innocent readers are abused and castigated for mention of the fact that a piss-poor knowledge of English spelling and grammar actually DOES inhibit the comprehension, and ready understanding of, the very storyline that any given Author is seeking to convey to his/her readership!

Yet all we get from a very tiny minority of overly-defensive barely literate writers is scorn! Ridicule for being bold enough (rather than bald enough) in asking for another reader to skim-threw (haha) and weed out some of the inevitable typos! Too much to ask? ONLY if you have the Vanity of Bonaparte, Hitler, or Putin-the-Mad-Vlad.! Anyone with any pride in their work, would WANT it to be polished-to-perfection, BEFORE publication!

Yes, due to the constant "Gender-Jumbling" I have a strong inkling this author is E2L, but surely that makes this elementary check all the more essential?

Just saying!

through

Good story 4⭐

I always get a good laugh at all the grammar Nazis on these free sites and social media.

Get over yourself. It's a free word porn site that also has other non erotic stories.

Everyone is different and the word isn't perfect. So stop acting like it is. Again, it's a free erotic site and the only thing you loose is your time in which you would probably be stoking or poking yourself.

Lose. Not loose. No wonder you don’t give a shit, you’re garbage too.

Good concept but it came up short at the end.

Excellent story, as a mom I'm not usually against the woman in these, but she was just stupid thinking that there was a better live to be found in a bar.

Hey got an account, I see you have never written anything here other than bitching about what others have written. Why not try it on yourself and let other pissants like you judge you just as nicely.

Good story about a stupid, gullible, naive woman.

Dan's character never grew up. He's still emotionally an adolescent. Raging, acting out, cutting off communication, throwing things, etc. This is little boy shit, not adult behavior. He's an angry man, looking for an excuse to run off butt-hurt. He doesn't think, he just reacts by lashing out. Emotion RULES him.

It's obvious he and his wife haven't actually been communicating throughout their marriage, because if they were, this kind of shit would never occur. The only realistic exception I can see is mental illness on one or both their parts. Which would be tragic, but unlikely.

I don't know if you (the author) are actually this screwed up, or if you are simply pandering to those who are, but this is the sort of behavior that is destroying human families and society. If you are going to participate in reinforcing and normalizing these kinds of destructive acts, you should at least get paid.

Too many switches of point of view. Stick to first or third person and make the reader's life easier please.

Isn't it strange how the wife is always so stupid while everything comes up roses for the husband? HE GETS RICH AND FINDS A BEAUTIFUL WIFE WHO IS TEN YEARS YOUNGER. SOME WRITERS ARE TOO IGNORANT TO PEN A REALISTIC STORY.

Great story. Thanks for your writing.

Ok Carol was dumb as a post. She accepted being tossed out and walked away from her son. The MC had no business though getting close with the nanny. But again it wasn't just him. Beth saw an opportunity. I don't think before the divorce is settled that the MC could take his son out of the country without permission from the courts and his wife unless there had been 1 year of abandonment. In fact it could have likely landed him in jail. Btw was the separation filing even countersigned? What automatically gave him full custody? Carol was a moron but the MC had bailed on his marriage well before the separation apparently. Once again a lot of close calls and two ships passing in the night; a favorite of this aithor. Btw Carol should have followed her husband into the restaurant. As an aside: Lesson learned is don't abandon the house!