All Comments on 'In The Eyes Of A Child Ch. 02'

This is hardly a decent paragraph, let alone could it qualify to be called a chapter..

Just send the rest in one go.

I have to agree with Kanga40's comments. And when the baby is born he should get a dna test done because there is no doubt she is cheating. I look forward to reading more.

Already starting to ddrraaggggggggggg! Why not just post the whole story??????????????????????????????????

was just starting to get interesting and the next chapter is Robyn's version? You're not through telling Tommy's version yet, still haven't explained how he ended up in jail.

You've heard the comments about a little short so enough said.

Story can go many ways and looking forward to more.

Good job.

This story is way too short... you got a zero from me.

Her explantion is crap...

she went to the rest room after talking with her friend with two guys? for an HOUR?!?!

at engagement party?!?!?!!?

why the hell would she do that?

the husband is dumb fuck.... he never asked about the missing time

wanted then 5 minutes later saying gee, you're the son-in-law I always dreamed about. Now she takes a three month pill after she "thinks" she is pregnant and is going ot marry a man who already thinks she is cheating.

I am wondering if there is any way your third chapter could make this a story, at least I can hope until I read it.

Can't appreciate or assess the storyline because there isn't anything really to read...

This is this chapter without any loss of information:

"What happened between you two in the rest room?"

"Nothing, I swear. Fuck me."

"I am coming!"

"I am pregnant!"

Does this help in developing the story line at all? No.

Okay, now who the fuck is the father? Please, don't make it a black baby, because that would make it confusing.

A shitty excuse for an erotic story. The only person dumber than you is Tommy.

The author states that Robyn's side of the story is next.

Then all questions will be answered. Except Tommy will not know what the readers know...

I found it interesting that the 'rents accepted him so quickly...If she was fucking both guys at work...I think she is hoping the kid will be white at least...

Hey...she could be fucking her old man.

The story was poorly constructed...no breathing space...just awkward sentences conjoined to any part.

But that's me..

Andy

In Chap. 1...Tommy says he is in the clink because he saved "something" precious to him....he didn't say "someone", he said "something"...so it's not Robyn...maybe it's his "pride", "respect" or his sanity....

Thought I should nmention this.

But that's me.

Andy

A good story so far.

A good story so far.

And the award for bad dialog goes to, "<I>Tommy, I may be a little pregnant now but fuck me again so I am really.....really pregnant.</I>" Excuse me? Last I checked, pregnancy is a binary condition. You either are or you aren't -- there is no middle ground. Either the author wants us to laugh at the wife or *gasp* wants us to take this drivel seriously. Either way, it's bad authorship.

<P>

Pick up the pace as this chapter dragged. It was light on content.

use a literotica author to help you..write a story outline proofread..set it aside a day letter re read..your story makes no sense

Thanks for the offering. I will save my comments until the final chapter.

Apparently it did not happen at the engagement party. If he stops and thinks about it he will see that it was all a setup, though if the baby is black and they still have not married yet it would be difficult to understand how she would get him to marry her!

I don't like it. No score and no more comments till the end. Good idea Db.

The story made no progress in this wasted chapter. What was the point.

Does she know she's having twins? That could be interesting. Even better; one white child and one black child. That happend in England some time ago, I think. Two different lovers and two different eggs.

Or it could be Robyn's planning on some kinky company on the honeymoon.

Something is not quite right. I believe she's a sneaky bitch, and riding somebody else's cock. I believe she'll get Tommy tied down with children, and still be fucking around. Time will tell, but he warned those assholes...