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Click hereIt was a simple task to pick up and begin the journey back to her house. He had no doubt that his mate could protect herself. However, she shouldn't have to. He began to formulate plans and he squeezed her tighter to his body.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 1 year agoNeed to do better editing to your words and punctuation I found it just a bit hard to tell between the double words and miss use of hims and hers in general talk or comments its not needed so much but in a story i need it to get the grasp without having to decipher what your meaning
Rheamistressabout 4 years agoBeing stuck at home presented me with more than a few problems... Reading material was one of them.. Found this lovely story... good strong beginning. Some characters were fleshed out, some weren't. I am hoping that changes in the future chapters. Looks to be the start of a good book. :)
MizTover 12 years agoand am really excited. You are off to a great start and I'm off to chapter 2.
Alpha_Marmover 12 years agoLoved your picture of her as her wolf.....sleek...sexy...and powerful. She's also very emotive...colorfully so and he ain't no slouch either. Likes it!!!!!!.
Looking forward to next chapter
silentlysillyalmost 13 years agoAuthorSo I got in touch with an editor and I am anxiously awaiting their reply. Just so you know, cause I made you wait so long this next chapter is 17 word document pages...fingers crossed it will be out soon! Thanks for reading SS
Anonymousalmost 13 years agothis chapter wasawsome! but please write more!!! i NEED to know what's going to happen next!!!
Anonymousabout 13 years agoI very much enjoyed it, great start & can not wait to read more
Rudegal74about 13 years agoThis looks to be a very interesting storyline. You should take up mikothebaby's offer of proofreading before you submit as trying to read and insert what I think you maybe saying takes away from the build-up of reading each line.
Again, the storyline itself is excellent and I do look forward to your next chapter.
mikothebabyabout 13 years agoI proof read for JazCullen and a few other very good authors here on Lit so I will tender my offer to proof read for you if you have not found any one else yet. I like where this is going and I like to encourage new authors here. Contact me I you want.
Anonymousabout 13 years agoI love the way your story has started can't wait to read more. Hopefully the next chapter isn't to far behind.
christyw744about 13 years agoI really enjoyed this first installment, and I cannot wait for the next. So hurry up!!!! LMAO
canndabout 13 years agoI enjoyed this alot. I see you got the message to get someone to edit so that doesn't need to be said again ;) Aside from that I like what you started and would like to see you continue the story. You left me wanting to know more about this power she has. Is her ability to 'flash' her clothes somewhere and have her eyes turn purple proof she is something more than just a wolf? I like the threat of this abusive father and her mom's protective nature that led her to escape him. I hope the next chapters deliver as I have hopes for an exciting story. I agree that working with these talented writers can be a great support as you develop the story. I do look forward to the next chapter!
silentlysillyabout 13 years agoAuthorThank you all, I knew I would need an editor, but I wanted to be sure that the story was worth pursuing thanks for the positive feedback.
mokkelkeabout 13 years agoi like the initial out line of this, but as whiteboy and some others pointed out, you could do with an editor and/or proofreader. there are quite a bit of typo's and missing words. the odd one doesn't distract from the story but if they get too abundant it can make the story more difficult to read.
and i see whiteboy has put me up as volunteer helper ;-) he's sneaky that one. but he's right, do poke if you want, mail box is open 24/7, can find it via my feedback page.
Whiteboy75about 13 years agoNice way to start the story line. Also agree an editor will be a big asset. If you don't have a feel about the genre you are starting into, read some of the top writers in the area. JazCullen, Art4fm, Mokkelke are some good ones to start and they can lead to other writers/editors.
Looking forward to reading more, I'll keep a lookout for them
LittleWelshGirlabout 13 years agoAm loving your story. I can't wait for the next chapter. Keep up the good work. Editors are always helpful though. Plenty will offer on here too. :)
I'll be keeping an eye out for your work :) x
