All Comments on 'In The Shadow of The Moon Ch. 05'

I really don't care about these secondary characters. You've set up such a complexity of issues and conflicts w/Victoria, Antony, & Victoria's ma and pa, her abuse, etc. that I can't quite see what this chapter has to do w/anything.

Nothing wrong w/how it's written. I can't see how it advances your storyline.

AND, some readers want stories that have been proofed by NY Times editors. Huh? I don't get that. I'm happy with your best efforts.

and for the first time I don't have the next chapter to read.....now what?......this has been a really good read. I look forward to staying caught up now that I have found your story. The very last paragraph has me confused but I figure you will reveal more in the next chapter.

I'd like to congratulate you on your first story to Lit. I spent so much time catching up I missed telling you that on chapter 1.

I didn't notice much wrong with this, however I am with willeriley regarding the story line, I had to go back to the previous chapter to see if I had missed something or was reading the right story.

I wish you had spent more time on Victoria and Anthony in this chapter. It feels like you just threw in the other story line as an excuse to add a sex scene.

I had a few emailed complaints about lack of story about secondary characters also I hadn't done a sex scene in a while. So I thought I would give it a try. I agree, it doesn't necessarily flow with the story. No worries chapter 6 and on will follow Victoria and Antony and ill just try and incorporate secondary characters sub stories within their point of view.

glad you're returning to the plot in the next chapter. While it wasn't bad to see a little into Natasia's life, it seemed completely pointless and badly timed. It was also frustrating because it took us away from the main characters. I spent the whole chapter wondering what had happened in the dance studio. I wanted to know whether Victoria took Antony's hand or not. I wanted you to pick up where you left off, not skip ahead. When you leave things as a cliffhanger, don't skip ahead and tell things from other people's points of view. I want to know what A and V are thinking and feeling.

So, I'm glad you know this chapter was a bit off track. I'm looking forward to the return to order in Chapter 6.

im kind of dissappoint it could have been better maybe greater ,

I agree with Cantfightfate, that you skipped ahead and left us hanging. What happened after the story from the dance studio was left out, and you skipped us to the mating of a secondary character, now we have to wait for chapter 6 for you to continue....Not Nice at all. Please hurry with chapter 6!!!!!!!!

Chapter 6 has been submitted, just waiting for them to post. Chapter 7 is away with my editor and Chapter 8 is a blank page, but shan't be that way for long!

I feel like there was a chapter missing

Who in the Heck is Celest and how did she get into the story???? Did she arrive with the Grand Parents?????? Did Vicky just ignore her grand mother????

Stephen J