tagHumor & SatireIndecisive

Indecisive

byladyroxanne21©

"So, what I'm trying to say is... Will you marry me?"

Oh God! This is a pretty big decision, and I don't know what to do!!! "Can I maybe have some time to think about it?"

"Sure baby," my would-be groom replied with suppressed disappointment.

I tried to assure him that it wasn't a bad thing that I needed time to think, but it felt like he was preparing to face his own execution as he left. He's a great guy and I love him but I'm just not sure if I'm ready to get married yet! Surely every girl is entitled to consider such an important matter carefully.

I paced my apartment as I tried to weigh the pros and cons of marriage. The pros: I'd have the man I loved with me all the time. I'd have help paying the bills. I'd have someone in my bed whenever I was in the mood, heh heh.

The cons: I'd have someone in my home and under my feet. I'd have to get used to someone randomly moving my belongings. I'd have to be a good wife and keep the place clean, I'd have to share the remote. We might have kids! I wouldn't be able to send him home if he annoyed me, He might cost me more money than his share of the bills he'd help pay, and did I mention that I'd have to share the remote???

Oh no! I don't think I can get married! This just wouldn't work. I'd have no freedom, no space of my own, and nowhere to hide when I just want to scream!

On the other hand... I do love him. He's fun to be around, and always tries to make me smile. He'd make a great daddy and our kids would be so damn cute! Plus, we'd get to have lots of sex. That thought made me grin like a love stuck fool.

Except... I'd have to share the remote... or worse! He might expect to take control of the remote altogether! Oh God! What will I do?! His taste in television just sucks!!!

Calm down, there has to be more to marriage than him watching football and TV broadcasted hunting. I mean there'd be a honeymoon, and romantic strolls through the park, and going out to dinner... I could always take a yoga class on Sundays, right? Or maybe organize a weekly girls day out when he's making my poor 42 inch flatscreen TV suffer through hours and hours of some horribly boring sport...

I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and would swear I heard laughing.

"Do you hear her?" A female voice laughed. It sounded somehow tiny, like it came from my TV but the volume was really low. "She's more worried about him watching TV than how well he will provide for her!"

"It's not nice to laugh!" A second female voice admonished. "It's clear to me that she trusts his capacity to provide for her, and is therefore free to worry about how compatible they are."

I felt a light touch on the side of my neck, and it made me shiver. I tried very hard not to move my head as I looked towards my shoulder.

"Come on, you insufferable goody two shoes! She should be worrying about how good he is in bed rather than how often he watches football! Seriously, girl, you can change that so easily! All you have to do is withhold sex on the days that he watches the game on TV. He'll soon get the point, and like a dog he'll do whatever it takes to get between your legs1" A three inch tall version of myself informed me from my left shoulder.

She was wearing something that can only be described as a rather scanty black leather bondage outfit, complete with shiny black boots that went up to her thighs. She idly twirled a whip in the hand that wasn't resting on my neck, and seemed to think it was interesting to intermittently change which leg was crossed over the other.

"How can you say such a thing?! Of course she'll let him watch what he wants to. As his wife, it would be her duty to submit to him whenever he was in the mood for... you know..." The voice from my right shoulder faltered. She was also 3 inches tall, and looked just like me. However, where the first tiny version of me was sexy, kinky, and powerful, this version was pure, innocent and sweet. She wore an intricately frilly yet elegant dress that seemed to flow down my shoulder all the way to the floor, and was covered in gold and sparkling jewels.

"Uh..." I tried to think of a way to explain what I was seeing. "I must be tired. Maybe I'm asleep. That's it! I'm dreaming!"

"'Fraid not, sweetcheeks!" The bondage babe stated with a grin.

"We've been assigned to you until you make up your mind," explained the pretty princess.

How horrifying! "What if I never make up my mind?"

"Then I guess you're stuck with us," bondage babe answered with a shrug.

I wanted to make up my mind right then and there, but I just couldn't! I opened my mouth to blurt out the first answer that came to mind, and then stood there gaping and making awkward sounds for at least a minute before I realized that nothing was going to come out. I closed my mouth and resumed my pacing.

My door burst open to reveal my very best friend in the whole world, Soirse.

"What was the big talk about?" She demanded. "Do we need ice cream?" She asked, holding up a container of Haagen-Dazs.

I glanced to my shoulders, only to see that my two new – ahem – friends were still right there. Soirse was looking right at me, but didn't seem to see them. Maybe they weren't real after all.

"Oh we're real, baby!" bondage babe assured me.

"It's true, we are," pretty princess added.

I inhaled deeply, and then blurted, "Andy asked me to marry him but I didn't know what to do so I told him I'd think about it and now I'm thinking about it, but I don't know what to do!"

"Whoa! Slow down!" Soirse held up her hands. "That was too fast for me to follow, say it again."

I took a few calming breaths, and then repeated my sentence, only this time, I took longer than 3 seconds.

"He asked you to marry him?!" Soirse squealed happily and tossed the ice cream on the counter so that she could hug me exuberantly. I clung to her, afraid of making such a big step.

My shoulder bondage babe impishly decided to spout utter nonsense. "Did you feel that? Her heart skipped a beat. I think she's secretly been lusting after Soirse here for years. No wonder she doesn't want to marry that tiny-dick, sorry excuse for a man!"

I had a hard time not gasping in outrage, and was thankful when pretty princess did so for me. "You are crazy! Andy is a good man, and according to the mental images playing as we speak, he is rather impressively endowed!"

"Whatever, miss priss! Like you would even know what to do with one of those!"

"I... I... would... too!"

"Riiiight..."

I tried to shake my head to banish them, but it didn't work. Thankfully, Soirse babbled on about how good I would look in a wedding dress, and how she would be my maid of honor, of course!

Bondage babe disappeared from my left shoulder, and reappeared on my right. "So you're telling me that you've spread your legs for a man before?"

"Of-of course! I am a part of her just like you are. She has had sex therefore so have I." I felt rather sorry for the pretty princess at this point. She didn't sound like she'd had sex before, but bondage babe bobbed her head side to side in a way that reluctantly acknowledged the princess was telling the truth.

Bondage babe wrapped her whip around the back of pretty princess' neck. "And yet you still insist that our girl Maya here feels nothing for this gorgeous, delicious smelling, juicy –"

Pretty princess gasped as if she was deeply scandalized. Meanwhile I was thinking about how good Soirse actually did smell. She smelled like oranges and cinnamon. I knew it couldn't be the Haagen-Dazs because that was rum raisin, so why did she smell so good?

"Don't be so shocked, darlin'! Feel her heart beat... It's damn near pounding now, isn't it?" bondage babe asked. If they bothered to ask me for my opinion, I'd tell them that my heart was beating this way because I was afraid that Soirse would somehow overhear the way they were talking about her!

"You are being positively silly! Soirse's been her best friend since they were 5 years old. If she had any sort of feelings for her, she'd have acted on them long before now," pretty princess insisted, attempting to remove the whip from the back of her neck.

"Are you sure?" bondage babe challenged. "Because from where I'm standing, Maya is just dying to kiss those luscious lips!"

Pretty princess scoffed. "You simply have an over-active imagination! Everything is about sex to you!"

"That's because everything is about sex, darlin'," bondage babe purred, stroking pretty princess' cheek.

I totally blushed! Stop it!!! If they really could hear my thoughts, maybe my command would make them behave.

"Be serious! There is a lot more to life than sex!" Pretty princess argued. "There's –" She was cut short when bondage babe kissed her. I was grateful for the silence, but uncomfortable watching two tiny versions of myself kissing.

All this time, Soirse was too busy planning out my wedding to notice that I was staring at my right shoulder with an utterly red face. It didn't even seem to matter that I wasn't talking. This was probably a good thing because I needed to focus on making a decision so I could get rid of these two as quickly as possible!

"There's no way Maya would kiss Soirse like that!" Pretty princess protested the moment her lips were free.

"You think not?" Bondage babe inquired as she pulled one of pretty princess' breasts out of her dress, and bent to suck on it.

"Yes I – oh! Stop that! That... that... oh... mmm..." pretty princess lost all coherency fairly quickly, and I bit my lip as I frantically contemplated picking them up and setting them in my fridge to cool off for a minute!

"Not only does Maya want to kiss Soirse, but she also wants to touch her body here... and here..." Bondage babe demonstrated by pinching pretty princess' other nipple – which was now free as well – and then wiggling a finger in between pretty princess' legs rather intimately.

I'll admit that I was dying to know just exactly how bondage babe planned to get her hand under that dress! I mean seriously, the thing trailed all the way down to the floor, and there was no way that she could pull it all up before pretty princess regained her senses and ran away. It was an enigma to be sure.

Bondage babe surprised me by tearing away part of pretty princess' dress. Then she pushed the softly protesting version of myself onto her back. Spreading the princess' legs wide, bondage babe somehow perched on the front of my shoulder, and buried her face in pretty princess' womanhood.

"No, ah! Please, I shouldn't... Ah! Oh! Oh my..."

I was biting on my knuckle, and trying hard not to shout at them to stop this before I accidently shouted for them to stop this! I could just picture the look on Soirse's face if I suddenly blurted out, "Will you two please stop fucking on my shoulder!!!"

Pretty princess was begging for God to help her, and I could tell that this was not a plea for bondage babe to stop. It was the kind of plea that occurs when an orgasm is hovering nearby but refusing to come pay a visit and stay for a while. She had her hands in bondage babe's hair and was subtly encouraging her by pushing on her head.

Soon, pretty princess was squealing so loud that I was tempted to cover my ears. I glanced at Soirse, but miraculously, she didn't hear anything.

"You... you've... had... your... fun... now," pretty princess panted. "So Stop –"

"You're deluded if you think I'm going to stop now!" Bondage babe cackled. She rolled out her whip, and licked the smooth handle suggestively.

"No! Oh no!" Pretty princess protested. Bondage babe completely ignored her, and inserted the whip's handle into the opening that I couldn't help but notice was thoroughly dripping with the juices of arousal.

I squeezed my legs together, and squirmed like I was a 3 year old that had to go potty. My breathing was definitely haggard, and I felt like I needed to hunt down my boyfriend and drag him to bed now! My face felt hot, and I am certain that I looked like a well-done lobster!

"Are you okay?" Soirse finally noticed something wasn't right with me.

"I... um... I... um I have to go to the bathroom!" I yelled in embarrassment, and raced down the hall. I slammed the bathroom door shut, and locked it. The mirror proved that I was right about resembling a lobster, and I turned on the cold water so I could try to cool down.

I splashed my face a couple of times, and then watched the women on my shoulder to see if they had been affected by the water. They hadn't.

"Oh Oh Oh! Yes! Oh God, oh yes!" Pretty princess was trying her best to imitate the soundtrack of a porno, and I was certain that my panties were completely soaked. I stripped my bottom half, and then wondered what my next move was supposed to be. It's not like I have clean underwear in my bathroom.

I sat on the counter, and watched the action on my shoulder once more. My hand slowly found its way between my legs, and then my fingers located the spot I longed to rub. I stroked it firmly, and then wiggled my finger in circles. I covered my mouth with my other hand because I had just enough presence of mind to remember that Soirse was still in my apartment, and my bathroom had better acoustics than the local community theater!

Pretty princess started squealing again, and my shoulder felt soaked. I wondered if they were done now, because if they were, I might be able to get dressed and act normally again. Bondage babe proved me wrong by straddling pretty princess' face.

"It's my turn now, Darlin'," bondage babe insisted, using two fingers to spread her netherlips wide. I didn't need a clear view to know that pretty princess meekly complied for bondage babe threw her head back and shouted out her enjoyment for all to hear.

I rubbed myself a bit more vigorously, and kept my hand firmly over my mouth. These two on my shoulder can't possibly be parts of me! There's no way that I would do such a thing in front of anyone, not even myself!

"Hell yeah! Lick me, oh yeah, right there!" Bondage babe cheered encouragingly.

I blushed in embarrassment once more. She was so very wanton! My finger wiggled even faster, and I shuddered as an orgasm grew closer.

Bondage babe was screaming now herself, and I think even my neighbors could hear her! I tried to keep quiet, really I did, but the bathroom echoed with sounds that originated from my mouth. Thankfully they weren't loud, but they were loud enough to prompt a knock at the door.

"Are you alright?" Soirse asked, her voice shaking with suppressed laughter.

I panted softly as my orgasm receded. "Yeah..."

"It sounds like you're... busy, so I'm going to go. Let me know what you decide later, okay?"

"Uh-huh," I agreed. Bondage babe and pretty princess were now fast asleep on my shoulder, and I sighed in relief that they were quiet. Maybe I could get some productive thinking done before they woke up.

I went to my room, pulled on a clean pair of panties, and then chose a pretty skirt to match my shirt. I figured that going outside for some fresh air might do me a bit of good, and besides, I had errands to run.

I tossed the half melted Haagen-Dazs in my freezer, and left my apartment. The first item on my to-do list was to look at used cars. Mine was a run-down POS, and I needed a new one as soon as possible.

I wandered the lot peering into any car that caught my eye, but couldn't even begin to figure out which one was right for me. My dad had picked out my first – and so far only – car, and I had no idea how to tell a good car from a bad one.

"Go with something sensible that gets good gas mileage," pretty princess whispered sleepily.

"Don't be stupid," bondage babe murmured, obviously still mostly asleep herself. "Buy a red convertible. You'll attract hot guys and have plenty of sex in the back seat."

"She doesn't need hot guys to have sex with her in the back seat of her car!" Pretty princess protested. "She has Andy, and he's plenty good in bed!"

"Is that so?" Bondage babe challenged, wide awake now. "You dare claim that a red convertible is unnecessary? Let me prove to you just how necessary it is!"

I covered my mouth with a hand as bondage babe immediately started having her way with pretty princess once more. I felt hot and whipped my head back and forth as I tried to decide what to do. I spotted a salesman coming towards me, and decided that my only option was to get the hell out of here as fast as possible.

I ran all the way home. Andy was waiting for me to return, and I gaped at him in astonishment. I thought he was going to give me time to think, damnit!

Bondage babe and pretty princess were having a great time on my right shoulder, and it made it very hard to hold a normal conversation with my boyfriend. He took offense, and started shouting at me for being insensitive. I couldn't think straight, so I did the only thing I could...

I threw myself in his arms, and begged him to take me to bed.

The tiny copulating couple on my shoulder made it impossible to wait for anything, not even foreplay or the removal of my clothes. Instead, I slipped off my already soaked panties, and encouraged him to enter me. He eagerly complied, and this time I felt free to moan and groan as loud as I wanted.

Even with my eyes shut, I could still clearly see bondage babe and pretty princess going at it on my shoulder. They weren't shy about talking dirty either!

"You like that, or should I do it harder?"

I know the question was directed at pretty princess, but I answered her instead. "Oh yeah! Harder!"

Bondage babe cackled. "Tell me you want me to fuck you harder!"

"I can't say that!" I protested.

"Can't say what?" Andy asked curiously.

"F-f-fuck me harder!" I stuttered the answer.

"Wow, you're really into it today!" Andy praised happily.

Meanwhile, bondage babe had coaxed pretty princess into banging her with the whip's handle. She was shrilly screaming in pleasure, and I knew just how she felt. It sounded a bit weird to have two of us echoing around the room, but somehow it seemed to enhance the fun.

I clung to Andy as an orgasm raced through my veins, and heard him grunting his pleasure for me to hear. I mentally smiled, and held him tight.

"So..." Andy began once we had both calmed down a bit. "Does this mean you'll marry me?"

"Yes," I replied without hesitation, and then grinned as I realized that I had made my decision, and that it was the right one.

"Aw damn!" Bondage babe groaned in disappointment. "You may have gotten rid of us for now, sweetcheeks, but don't think we're gone for good! You're lousy at making decisions, and we'll certainly be back sooner or later!"

I watched them fade, and felt relief mixed with mild disappointment. They may not have been any real help in making my decision, but there's no denying that they had forced me to make up my mind a whole lot sooner than I would have otherwise.

I snuggled up to Andy, longing to take a nap. He was already drifting off, so I gave myself permission to fall asleep in the middle of the afternoon.

I'm going to need to pick a dress...

I faintly heard bondage babe giggle, and knew she was just waiting for an opportunity to return. I pushed that thought to the back of my mind, and decided that I would try to be more decisive. If nothing else... it was embarrassing as hell to have two tiny women having sex on my shoulder!

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