All Comments on 'Independent Study'

That was a great opener ! Please continue

Thanks for a hot story. Please continue writing.

I really love this story and your style of writing. Please, please continue to grace us with your outstanding stories. ;-)

Please please please continue! I luv it!

What can I say, you built me up. You let me see your emotions. I felt your desire mixed with near panic. I even excepted the sudden shift to you wanting to taste your lover, something that almost always is savored much later between lesbian lovers. I have to admit I was aroused. But you lost me when Fiona put on the strap-on. Damn it she's a lesbian, she not stone butch, she know she's your first lover, fucking you with a strap-on is not going to happen at least not during your first encounter. Fucking you with her fingers, yes, it's just amazing when my lover has her fingers inside of me.

You surly would not be asleep in my arms. First time, I would have shown you the whole world of organismic ecstasy.

I still loved it, I'm still giving you a five, but next time please try to imagine yourself with another woman, think of all the possibilities. Moving to the center of our sexual being is not something that happens fast if we're making love. Although there are times I may just push the love of my life up against a wall and fuck her silly. Our version of a quickie.

Let me add to my comment. The use of a strap-on is going to get admiration from your male audience. Men seem to think a strap-on has something to do with their cocks, how simple ludicrous.

If your writing a lesbian story for the males here then surely you made a wise choice. If on the other hand your writing for me, a lesbian, in this instance you didn't score any brownie points.

Definitely a great start. Is love to see more from you. Keep on writing. Thank you.

omg that was Hot ! I was wet from reading this ...... and the gf's at work :/ please keep writing i would love to see where this goes between them !

Very hot and well written! More please!

I Agree With "Dy". As A Life Long Lipstick

Lesbian. I Feel That The Introduction Of A

Strap-On Was Not Necessary.

Lauren Had Just Made Lesbian Love To Fiona

.And Fiona Only Wants To Use A Starp-On

To Make Love To Lauren.

Sorry Not In My Bedroom !

I loved this. This is exactly what I came for today!!!!!

lauro, I want to join in with the other readers complimenting you on the quality of your writing. Please do not take the critiques of story actions personally. I hope you will create many more postings to this site. Every creation will have an appeal to different readers.

Accept praise with the same equanimity you should accept criticism. Channel other peoples opinions into a learning experience for your art. Without knowing your personal experiences, it would be second-guessing your intentions in the choices you made for the story "Independent Study".

As an older vanilla, heterosexual male I did find this story arousing. Though against stereotype, I do not find myself enticed by the use of dildos by homosexual women. Thinking back over the years, in conversations where this subject came up, the few acknowledged lesbians I have known, claimed that they did not use strap-ons when engaged in coitus.

Though, like hetero women, they did admit to using dildos and vibrators while masturbating. Perhaps it was just the small number who were willing to talk about the subject when men are present.

Another suggestion if you want to write novel-length stories. As a very unsuccessful writer, after retirement I went back to College and took the English courses I never had time for before. I was disappointed in how academic the teaching was. Accidentally I was introduced to a screenwriting course. The emphasis is two-fold, producing salable material and learning about the importance of continuity as a method of controlling and self-editing a storyline. I am now going back through all my previous unsold work and re-doing it with the hope of improving enough stories for sale.

I was lovin it at the beginning, quickly becoming a fav, I especially loved the part where she compared her breasts to hers, something thats certainly happened with every girl ive slept with lol. I realized as soon as I read it that it happens, though thats the first time I seen it in a story. But as soon as she brought out that fucking strap-on on I was instantly disheartened. But I was gonna sit through the rest, jus cuz it was short. Until she put it in her fuckin mouth. Really? 8/ id have been disgusted if I didn't know its jus some fantasy some guy (obviously) wrote down. Cuz i naturally liked the innocent character. To see her degraded and humiliated like that made me instantly not like fiona and the author (simply cuz he prolly didn't even consider it as being a negative action to his readers, or his poor character) Def was very disappointed though. Was def not gonna read any more of that degrading penis envy bullshit. And no, im not a crazy dyke feminist. I love my father and my brother and my male friends. I just can't possibly see a sane woman thats attracted to a young girl thats nvr been in a sexual encounter strapping a fake cock to her waist and shoving it down her throat. And although I guess that happens in smut stories, I guess my real point Is I dont see any lesbian in the world finding such a scene attractive. Except I guess those weird cock crazy butches. Dont even get me started on those 8/ well, they're not so bad I guess, jus can't get in the mind of the girls that are attracted to THEM XP.

I love the build up from the beginning, i can't stop myself skipping sentences just to get to the juicy part. But when u introduce the fake cock, i was kinda lost interest. But i finished it anyway... Yes i like it b'coz of the builp up, a lesbian like me my imagination go somewhere wishin' i was fiona fuckin' that innocent dream girl of mine. But with the right tools that i naturally have. First TOUNGE, why? Why am i lesbian if i don't love the taste of women. Second FINGERS, co'z i wanna feel her specially inside. Combination of both is enough how a lesbian make love to a woman.

But i still LIKE ur work...KUDOS (^_^)

Thank you so much for writing your story, I really enjoyed reading it! Since its a short story and so much build up until they met at her office, then to the sex... I truly get it! There was a point that you could have delved into their connection and pleasure us with your wonderful writing skills which are quite evident in reading this.

As a reader I felt short changed, it started so good... As a woman, there was no need for the strap on, for me anyway!

This is a great story to take and edit and add to to make a wonderful full length story!

Please do! Thanks again,

L

A good story with plenty of promise. Not put off by the strap-on dildo but thought that it could be later in a much longer story as there's a lot here that could be extended as they developed their relationship. Doubt it will be done now as it's quite old and writers move on. 5⛤ from me.